Chapter Twenty Four – Katy

A grogginess overcomes me as I wake from the deepest sleep that I’ve ever had in my life, I don’t feel like I’ve rested well at all. Maybe I’ve slept for too long, maybe that’s what the problem is. Or maybe I’ve overslept and now I’m going to be late for work…

My heart thunders, ice cold lightening bolts of terror dart through my system, I really can’t be late for work, I hate getting behind. Plus, it’s a really important time at work at the moment. I can’t remember what it is exactly, but I know I’m going through a hump, a busy patch, and once it’s over I’ll finally get my life back and I’ll be able to start doing things again. Then again, I always think that. What is this busy patch? What is so important about it? Why can’t I remember? And most importantly of all, why can I not wake up? I know that I need to, so what’s wrong with me?

I try to prize my eyes open with more effort that I ever remember it taking before, but I don’t quite get there. I open them a slither, but the light is so white and bright that I can’t go the whole way. I must just need a few moments to collect myself before I do. It’s just a shame that it feels like I have a thick fog in there, clouding up every single one of my thoughts.

Right, I need to remember, I decide with a sheer force of determination. That’s the most important thing. Once I remember, I can start piecing the rest of the jigsaw together…

So, the first thing I think of it work, because that’s always the first thing that I think of, but this time I don’t feel like it’s surrounding me, filling up my lungs, and drowning me. I feel like it’s in the distance. Like, I can reach out and touch it if I want to, but I don’t have to. Somehow, without even meaning to, I’ve done the one thing that I’ve never been able to do before and I’ve created some distance between me and work. I have to admit, it feels kinda good. I like to have some distance from that place, it helps me to feel more like me again. That’s someone I haven’t been for a very long time.

Okay, so thinking of work isn’t helping, so there must be something else… a meeting, someone I’m working with, someone important… I rack my brain desperately, but the only image I can concoct is one of me facing a group of men in suits sitting at a long table. That’s every day stuff for me, there isn’t anything special about it. It does feel different though, but I can’t work out why.

Maybe Robyn then? Maybe she holds the key. I recall chatting to her on the phone, but we had a conversation where she didn’t sound disappointed in her. It’s almost like there was a time in our recent friendship where I didn’t let her down… something that I didn’t think would ever happen!

One sentence that she said to me really sticks out in my mind: “That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you. Is that what’s brought about this change? If so, then my God I’m happy and I cannot wait to meet this guy.” I can remember it clear as day, as if she’s speaking it to me now but I don’t know what it means. What change? And what guy? The only guy that I’ve taken a liking to in as long as I can remember is Guy and it certainly can’t be him. Robyn would never want me to end up with another lawyer, she would kill me for even thinking about it. Another workaholic wouldn’t do me any good…

Wait! All of a sudden, something hits me from the left field, something that’s definitely another memory, but it doesn’t seem real somehow. I know it is, but I also can’t see how it would be something that would happen to me. I can remember talking to Guy, and him almost scolding me for not taking the partner position – which is something that I’ve wanted forever more – and then telling me the amazing news that he’s single… but for some reason I didn’t care. I wasn’t interested that he was single. It’s weird to see myself getting everything I’ve ever wanted and not wanting anymore. There has been a change within me, but I don’t know what it is. Maybe that’s why my brain is so foggy and messed up, I’ve gone through a crazy personality transplant and I don’t know who I am anymore.

Who am I? What happened to me? What made me walk away from everything that’s ever made me who I am? All that I’ve worked towards… why would I throw that away?

Then a face infiltrates my brain… actually two faces. One of a gorgeous male who’s looking at me with such adoration in my eyes. He makes me feel special and loved, he warms me up and swells heat in my chest, I feel better around him than I ever have done in my whole entire life. And then there’s his son, the adorable little boy with no mother who was so damn excited to play with me, who included me in his life even though it seems like he doesn’t do that easily, who wanted me around when he really didn’t have to. Evan and Liam, the two most important guys to me.

Evan and Liam Debroils. The Debroils men who’ve turned everything upside down.

As I think about their names, all of it comes flooding back; the time spent working together, the undeniable magnetic attraction that pulled us in together despite the fact that we knew it was wrong, the meeting, the accident, the phone call, the hospital, the blood transfusion…

I’m in hospital, I realize excitedly. Of course, I am. I’m helping Liam to recover from his car accident, I just hope that it’s worked. I need him to be okay now.

With that, I finally manage to pry my eyes open and I let the light flood into my eyes. It’s still much too white, but somehow, I can tolerate it more now, it doesn’t feel like I’m going to end up blind. Maybe it’s because I know that it’s a hospital now, so the whiteness makes sense. Hospitals are always crazy clean and filled with clinical colors, probably so you don’t forget where you are like I just did.

“Katy?” When I first hear Evan’s soft voice I think I must still be half dreaming. Maybe I’m on meds that haven’t quite shaken off yet, but then his face comes into view, and despite the fact that he looks a little bit like an angel, something in my heart tells me that he’s real. “Katy, are you okay?”

“I think so,” I rasp back through a jaggedly raw throat. “Water, please.”

As Evan moves over to the other side of the room, presumably to get me some water, I push myself into more of a sitting potion. It isn’t easy because my body aches and my arms feel incredibly weak, but I do what I can through all of that. My inner strength comes from the idea of seeing Evan again and finding out what’s happened. He hasn’t said anything about Liam yet and I need to know. I don’t suppose these things are guaranteed. I hope he hasn’t been silent because it’s not good news.

Finally, Evan hands me a glass and I suck back the cool liquid like I’ve been stranded in the desert for ages and I’ve finally stumbled across my life saving oasis. As it slides down my throat I start to feel a little better. But I still need my answers, and Evan doesn’t seem to be giving anything away.

“How’s Liam?” I gasp at him. “Has he come back around yet?”

I hunch up my shoulders and brace myself, but then Evan’s face bursts into a big, beaming smile. “He’s good.” Oh thank God! I can finally relax once I know that the worst hasn’t happened. “He’s actually here, I asked the doctor to wheel you both in the same room so I can watch you both. I didn’t want to leave either of you alone.” I try to twist myself around to see Liam, but it hurts too much to do so. “Oh don’t worry, you can’t see him from where you are anyway. He’s above your head. Plus, he’s sleeping right now, I think he’s pretty shattered. He needs his rest, I’m sure you get it.”

“Understandable,” I reply with a smile. “It’s been a long day for him.”

“I know.” Finally, Evan moves closer to my bed so I can feel the heat emanating off his body. There’s something so relaxing about feeling Evan’s presence, he really calms me down. “And I just want to say thank you to you again for doing this for him. It’s so kind of you.”

“Oh, I don’t need your thanks,” I reply with a blush. “Of course, I helped Liam. He needed me.”

“I know, you say that like it’s obvious but I don’t think everyone would have helped him without hesitation like you did. You did an incredible thing. You are an amazing person.”

A weird air swirls around us and I don’t quite know what it means. Admittedly all my faculties aren’t intact since I’m still a bit woozy, but even I can tell that something’s happening between me and Evan. Maybe it’s just that incredible bond we share intensifying after we’ve gone through all of these amazing experiences together. The thing with the company, the life changing choices we’ve both made, now this with Liam… it hasn’t all been good, but it’s strengthened what we share.

“I have to tell you something, Katy,” Evan finally says in a voice that’s filled with determination, “I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while now but the timing hasn’t ever been quite right. Well, now it is right, we aren’t going to get a better chance than this.” He grabs onto my hand and stares at me with an intense gaze in his eyes. I wish I could interpret that look, but I just cannot figure it out for the life of me. “Katy Atwater, I love you,” he announces, shocking me to my core. “I know that might come as a surprise and I know you might also think it’s a bit soon which is why I don’t expect you to say it back at all, but I do. So damn much. And I want you to know it.”

“You… love me?” I don’t know what to say to that, it feels a bit much. I’m overwhelmed, my head is swimming. “You’re in love with me?”

“I am,” he smiles warmly. “I knew the moment that you walked into my life that you were going to be different. Before you came along no one ever held my interest for long, and certainly not in any sort of meaningful way. But you… you were different. Right away I couldn’t get you off my mind, and that hasn’t changed since. You’re smart, sweet, generous, wonderful… and I love you. I know it sounds mad, I do, I am aware of how crazy I’m being, but I do. I love you.”

I pause thoughtfully for a moment, trying to wrap my head around it. It isn’t every day that someone falls in love with me. And it’s even better that I feel the same way too. After all this is a man that I’m willing to change up everything for! I’m willing to open my heart, to set aside the life that I thought I wanted but as it turns out I don’t enjoy at all. Of course I feel the same way… now I just need to tell him.

“I love you too, Evan,” I tell him with tears welling up in my eyes. “I love you so much.”

As he embraces me, I can ignore the intense ache in my body because I have love on my side now. I don’t know where me and Evan will go from here but it feels good to know that we have one another. We’re locked in now, and that feels awesome. I’m the luckiest woman alive.