Chapter Eight – Katy

“Yeah, okay. I see what you mean,” Evan admits with a regretful smile. “I guess that’s what I’ll have to do. I know that I’ve been a bit difficult to work with, it’s just that this business is important to me, it’s like my baby and I’ve built it up from almost nothing. I know that I need to downsize but actually turning that into a plan is something else. Seeing it just makes it that much more real, you know?” His face is a mask, but I can see the cracks through it, that run deeper than he’s saying. “But yes, if you think that’s right then that’s right.”

I feel a little bad actually. I don’t want to hurt his feelings by suggesting these changes, especially when it seems like he’s more invested in this than I’ve ever seen before, but I don’t have much of a choice. I’ve seen and worked with many business owners in my time and never have I worked with someone so dedicated before. It seems that the business drives him more than the money which is unusual. Still, sometimes things have to be said, I have to be cruel to be kind.

“I do think you’re going to have to consider shutting areas down and I know the ones that I’ve suggested might be close to your heart, but they’re the ones that aren’t performing as well.”

I watch intently as Evan nods slowly, my heart fluttering the entire time. I don’t know what’s making me so nervous about his answer, but there’s something strange going on inside my chest. I’m confident in what I’ve suggested, there’s no doubt about that, it’s just making him understand it.

I need to drive the point home. “I’m looking at this from the point of view of the banks. When you meet with them to ask for more time to sort out your financial situation you need to do it fully armed. Having a strong plan that shows how willing to change you are is a big step towards that.”

Evans lifts his eyes to look at me and as our gazes connect I feel a powerful jolt in my chest. I could try to ignore it, to pretend that it never happened, but if I’m honest with myself this isn’t the first time that’s happened. I’ve been feeling all kinds of conflicting emotions around him since I very first laid eyes on him. Sometimes I hate his guts, he drives me insane with his terrible attitude, but there are other occasions such as this one where I feel that maybe Robyn might be right. I might actually like Evan. After all, he’s gorgeous, he has a certain charm to him and a powerful charisma, and also, he makes little almost flirty comments that make me tingle all over.

Despite the fact that I know it’s wrong, quite frankly it’s a bit of relief. I’ve been stuck on the unattainable Grant for so long that I was starting to worry that he’s the only person I can be attracted to. I can’t recall having a crush or a tingly feeling with another person for years. It’s just a shame that it’s happened now with someone else that I can’t act upon my feelings with. Evan is also out of reach, even if he wanted something to happen too. We couldn’t even fool around to get it out of our systems. Messing about with a client is like the number one no go in the lawyer ethics hand book… the one with all the unwritten rules, I mean, it just isn’t done. I can’t start breaking rules now.

“Good job you’re as smart as you are beautiful,” Evan says with a wink.

From anyone else I wouldn’t like these comments that fly at me every so often, catching me off guard, but I can’t help getting a cheap thrill when Evan speaks to me like that. I still think it’s the lack of male attention that I’ve had forever, but that doesn’t make it any less fun. “What would I do without you?” he says.

My cheeks heat up and I fix my eyes on the papers in front of me for a moment. “Oh well, I don’t know about that… I’m just trying to do my job.” I cringe, noticing how dorky I sound, but what else can I do? I can’t respond in any similar way. I have to behave myself. I suck at flirting anyway, so it’s probably a good thing. This man who undoubtedly spends every night with a different supermodel isn’t going to be impressed by me anyway. “Trying to save you your business.”

Evan tips his chair slightly so his head moves closer to me so I can feel his breath tickling my cheek. That causes a ball to form in my throat as I’m paralyzed to the spot. I only have to look at Evan to know that he’s thinking some terrible thoughts. His eyelids have grown heavy and there’s a glaze over his eyes. Despite the fact that I’m much more plain and boring than he’s used to with my scraped back dark hair and my make up free face, plus this pant suit that doesn’t exactly show off my body, Evan seems to find me attractive and that thought alone is almost intoxicating…

Knock, knock.

Me and Evan leap apart like we’ve been electrocuted as someone knocks at the door. I can feel all the color drain from my face as I try to refocus my eyes on the papers in front of me. All the images and words written down might be swimming everywhere but I’m doing what I can to at least look like I’m busy. I have no idea what almost did or didn’t happen with Evan but then I’m glad we got interrupted. My brain nearly switched off then, I nearly acted on impulse, and that would have been utterly dreadful. I could have screwed up everything, my non-existent love life and my budding career.

“Come in,” Evan calls out in gruff, slightly strained voice.

“It’s only me,” Ally’s sing song voice rings through the office. I almost roll my eyes at the sound of her voice. She seems to want to make it very obvious to me that she has some kind of stake on Evan which is just fine by me. She can have him, I can’t. I don’t want him anyway, not really…

“Oh hi, Ally, is erm…” Evans sounds uncomfortable. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, it’s fine.” She steps closer to him, right up into his personal space which is a place that she seems to be very familiar with, and she brushes something off his shoulders. It’s a familiar gesture that makes my heart pang with that loneliness again. I want someone to touch like that. “I just wanted to remind you that you have that call… later on.” That seems to be some not too subtle code with them two. She’s always going on about calls. “I just wanted to see if you’re going to be ready or not, or do you need me to reschedule it.”

Her words make me feel silly. I don’t want to get tangled up in some love triangle. In a way, I’m already in one – not that the other two people know about me – so I don’t want to add to that drama. Luckily, I won’t have to see Evan forever, he isn’t like Grant, so soon enough I can push all of this to the back of my mind and never think about it again.

“I need to go actually,” I announce while leaping up. “I’m sure you are busy with all your calls.” I don’t meet with either of their eyes while I make my passive aggressive remark. “And I have stuff that I need to do as well. I’ll take my paper work with me and leave your bits for you to complete…”

“But, Katy,” Evan interrupts, sounding a little sad. I shouldn’t be satisfied that he doesn’t want me to leave but I can’t help myself. “I thought we were going to have lunch later on?”

“We were?” I shake my head, vaguely recalling a conversation about food but I didn’t think that it was anything set in stone. “I don’t think I can. I think we both need to take a break from this today and come back to it with fresh eyes in the morning, after a good night of sleep.”

I’m torn. Part of me wants to stand my ground just to show Ally that I can’t be intimidated by her. I don’t want to play her game but I also don’t want her to win. On the other hand, the much more rational side of me just wants to get the hell away from this weird and confusing situation. I don’t want to be near Evan while he’s making me feel all odd inside, and I also don’t want to see Ally looking at me like I couldn’t ever compete with her even if I wanted to. I already know that, I don’t need reminding. No one would ever look at a drab old me over her. I’m irrelevant, but I don’t need to be reminded. I need to just go, I need to get out of here while I still have a tiny bit of dignity.

“Oh, right, I see. So, we could just do lunch another day then?”

This isn’t something that I need to have a working lunch for, I’m not a client that he’s trying to win over and I haven’t even really done anything that he needs to thank me for either. It seems he just really wants to take me for lunch. It’s been so long since anyone’s wanted to feed me that I can’t help feeling intrigued. I want to know more about Evan Debroils, I want to know more about what he’s like out of this office… if he ever leaves. He seems to be a workaholic, just like me.

“Fine,” I reply while swinging my handbag over my shoulder. “Let’s do lunch tomorrow then.”

Evan’s face lights up, he looks like a child who’s just woken up on Christmas morning to lots of presents. The sight of him makes my heart race at a million miles an hour in my chest. It causes a warmth to explode from my heart and to trickle through all of my veins. My mouth runs dry and for a moment it’s as if I can’t get enough air in my lungs to breathe properly.

I cannot like him, I think determinedly to myself. I need to stop this now. It’s silly, I’m like a hormonal school girl. I’m an adult now, I need to act as such.

“See you tomorrow then,” he tells me with a smile. “I look forward to it. Meeting in the morning, then lunch. I’ll take you somewhere nice since you’ve worked so hard for me.”

“Great.” Oh God, he’s making my heart hurt. I want him too much. “See you then.”

“Yeah,” Ally joins in through gritted teeth, reminding me that she’s here. “See you tomorrow, it’s been really great to have you here.”

She hates me, but that doesn’t mean I have to act like her. “See you then, Ally, thank you. That’s very find of you to say.”

She is another reason why I can’t ever like Evan, not that I really need a reason. She likes him, they have or are probably sleeping together which I’ve noticed every single day that I’ve been here. It’s messy, much too messy and full of drama for me.

It’s much better for me to keep my distance as much as I can until all of this is over. Work is fine, lunch is okay if maybe pushing it a bit, but that’s all. If I keep this simple and I push all my emotions down, then I might just survive this unscathed.

Hopefully!