Chapter 16: Ashlyn
Life was slow in Ludwig during the fall. There was a lot less to do, and people were just generally lazy, with the urgency levels hovering dangerously low. And in this town, that meant something. It was almost as if life had come to a complete stand still.
My business always took a hit during the winter months, and every year around this time, I usually tried to get all possible repairs and renovations done while I still had the cash for it. The boiler at home was in dire need for replacement, and the truck was groaning with all sorts of ailments. I had to run my numbers this weekend at the latest, or risk having to find a part time job to help me push through December and January.
I pulled up into my regular parking space at the motel, climbed out of my truck and made a quick dash for the office. The winds had begun to slightly pick up, and they had this way of finding their way through every layer of clothing I wore, sending chills up and down my spine.
The office was empty, and I immediately made my way to the coffee pot and turned it on. I waited patiently for the pot to fill, placing my hands against the glass in an effort to warm them a bit, closing my eyes to the pleasurable feeling of heat snaking up my arms and spreading through me.
I looked to the couch on my left, and immediately pictured Chance sitting there, smile on his face while he flipped through decades old magazines strewn across the coffee table.
I shook my head, trying to get rid of the image. It had been almost eight weeks since I had watched that limo drive out of the motel, taking Chance with it. In the time between then and the last time we actually spoke, I had spent more time in bed than I had in my entire life. His absence hurt, and the fact that I had let him go had hurt even more. I had tried my best to act nonchalant about it all, to wear the perfect fake smile that I knew wasn’t fooling anyone, especially Martha, every time I came to the motel. I had tried to ignore the voice inside my head that was begging me to call him, or answer his calls, or at the very least text him back. It had taken a will of steel, and had ripped me from inside like my soul had been put through a shredder.
He had come through for me, though. His lawyers had shown up as promised, and after one or two court sessions, had made damn sure neither Earl nor any member of the Greene family would come anywhere near me again. For good measure, they had even taken a few light hits at the Sheriff, enough to make him a little warier, but not enough to make him hate me.
I texted him when it was over, thanking him for his help and letting him know just how much I appreciated what he did for me. I couldn’t bring myself to call him, knowing well that hearing his voice would mean I would have to go through the same pain it had taken to get over him the first time. He called me, several times, and then left me a simple ‘you’re welcome’ text when I didn’t pick up. I knew I wasn’t being fair to him, that I owed him more than a simple message, but I couldn’t do anything more than that.
But even after two months, although it had definitely become easier, I still couldn’t help but think about him every now and then. What would have happened if I had said yes? Would I have been able to live in Austin? My mother’s voice constantly rang in my mind, sounding disappointed that I had decided to stay behind even when the opportunity to leave came knocking on my door.
What the hell was I supposed to do anyway?
I frowned, angry at my mind for playing tricks on me, for throwing up images of what could have been, just to take them away again. It was cruel, yet at the same time frustrating. I had made the right choice. I know I ha. There was nothing for me in Austin. My entire life was in Ludwig; everyone I knew, everything I was familiar with, my little bubble of comfort in the big bag world. And my plants. My greenhouse. How could I even consider leaving all that I had built behind? How could he ask me to, that bastard?
Is that really what you’re angry about?
It was. It had to be. Because other than that, then there really wasn’t anyone else around to blame for how I felt other than me, and that wouldn’t sit well with me. I had moved on, or at least I thought I had, and Chance was just a memory; not the one who got away, but the one I couldn’t have.
Then again, there might have been a way to make it work.
No!
Or was there?
I shook my head angrily, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands, concentrating all my hatred on Chance and what he was doing to me, even when he was miles away. Millionaire playboy who thought he could get whatever he wanted. What the hell was I going to do with a man like him? Bear his children, cook his meals, and be his trophy wife while he fucked airheads right and left?
“You’re early.”
I turned around, surprised that someone had been able to walk into the office without me hearing it. I smiled at Martha as she rubbed her hands together and did a jog-dance around the office.
“It’s getting colder by the day,” she said, blowing air into cupped hands.
“Well, we’re a few days away from November,” I said. “You’d kind of expect it, wouldn’t you?”
“Funny thing, sweetie, is that no matter how old I get, I swear, the winters always get colder,” she chuckled. “Has Chuck come in yet?”
I shook my head. “Haven’t seen him.”
“Mhmm.” Martha walked around the desk and opened the ledger. “That’s just great,” she mumbled.
“What’s wrong?”
“The writer’s spending all of December here,” Martha replied. “There go our Christmas plans. And looks like New Year’s, too.”
“Seriously?” I looked over the desk and at the empty ledger save for one name. “That’s odd.”
“He’d better be writing a masterpiece in there,” Martha commented, rubbing her shoulders to stay warm. “Or else I might just kill him.”
“So what are you going to do?” I asked, pouring myself a mug of coffee and preparing one for her, too.
“What can we do,” Martha shrugged. “Usually, this time of the year, closing down for a month or two doesn’t really affect us. It’s a dead season anyway, and a good chance for me and Chuck to kick back for a while.”
I walked back and slid her mug to her. “Thank you, honey,” she said, taking a sip. “Looks like this year, though, we’re stuck here.”
An idea suddenly came to me. “If you want, I can run the motel for you,” I suggested.
Martha frowned, looking at me like I had just said something in a language she couldn’t understand. “What?”
“I don’t have business during December and January anyway,” I said. “I’m probably better off doing something useful, of it’ll give you and Chuck some time off.” I paused. “Besides, I might need the money anyway.”
“Are you sure?” Martha asked. “You don’t think it’ll be a burden. Sweetheart, I’m sure you can use some time off, too.”
I waved the remark away. “It’ll be pretty much the same thing as staying at home,” I said. “And who knows. Maybe someone else wants to escape somewhere to find a little solitude. You might actually get a few guests.”
Martha chuckled. “I highly doubt that,” she said. “Then again, you never know whose truck could break down on the interstate near us.”
I raised an eyebrow at her, knowing exactly what she was trying to do. For the whole time Chance had been gone, she had not stopped trying to get me to talk about it all. I had been nice enough to divert the conversation to something else, and she had been sensible enough to let the matter drop when she knew I didn’t want to talk about it. It didn’t stop her from trying to open it up every now and then.
“If someone’s truck does break down, I hope Hank decides to ignore them,” I said.
Martha only looked at me, then nodded and gave me a knowing smile. “Well, I’ll definitely talk to Chuck about it when he gets here,” she said. “I know he’s been looking forward to Christmas with the family.”
“Really?”
Martha shrugged. “I really don’t see why not,” she said. “Besides, we can probably show you the ropes in a day or two. There really isn’t much that goes into running this place anyway, and as long as you just have to take care of Mr. Bestseller in there, you should be fine.”
“That’s great,” I smiled. “We’re in agreement, then.”
“Thank you, Ashlyn, although you really didn’t have to.”
“Honestly, I could use the distraction.”
Martha glanced at me, sighed, then leaned over the desk and looked me straight in the eye. “How long are you going to keep this up, baby girl?”
“Keep what up?”
“Ashlyn. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
I winced and shrugged. “I don’t know, Martha,” I admitted. “I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I just want to brush it all off and get on with my life.”
“But you can’t.”
“No, I can’t,” I shook my head. “I try so hard, and he still pops up in my head. And other places…” I put my hand over my heart. “Why won’t he just stay out of there?”
Martha smiled. “I think you know the answer to that.”
“I do, sure, but it’s stupid,” I said. “It’s been a stupid idea from the get-go. I never should have even let it happen.”
“Sweetheart, these things don’t need your permission to happen,” Martha said. “They just do.” She leaned back. “Do you think I planned to fall in love with Chuck? The man was a mess when I met him, and is still a mess, in a way. He used to be this scrawny young man working in my daddy’s garage, without a dollar on him. He was charming, and funny, but he was definitely not relationship material. But I fell for him anyway, and the rest is history.”
She paused, her eyes briefly glazing over as she reminisced, then she looked at me again. “That boy’s truck broke down right outside Ludwig, and he came across the most beautiful flower girl in Texas right here at this motel. He was the solution to your living up at that house all alone, to your problems with that disgusting Greene boy, and you want to call that coincidence?”
“Are you trying to tell me it’s fate that brought us together?” I asked, half-smiling.
“Call it whatever you want,” Martha shrugged. “Fate, blind luck, the devil playing a little game of chess with the big man upstairs. What I do know, Ashlyn, is that I have never seen you like this before. And if it’s Chance Ridder that’s got you like this, then that’s got to mean something.”
I thought about what she said, and although I saw the sense in what she was saying, I couldn’t quite bring myself to agree with her. “I don’t know.”
“I do,” Martha smiled. “But, then again, it’s your life. I just don’t want to see you make a big mistake and regret it for the rest of your life.”
I was about to answer her when two cars drove past the office and into the motel. I gazed out the large window and watched them park close to where Chance’s old room was. Four men stepped out of the vehicles, stretching and yawning, immediately going for the car trunks while one of them broke away from the group and made his way to the office.
“Well, I guess you’re going to have more guests than we expected,” Martha said just as the man opened the office door and stepped inside.
He flashed a wide smile at both of us and took off his shades.
Why he was wearing them in the first place would always be a mystery, I thought to myself. The skies were cloudy, and it was rare to see patches of sunlight large enough to merit sunglasses.
“Morning,” the man greeted.
“Afternoon,” Martha replied, smiling and a little bit amused by the man. He was trying too hard to fit in, his jeans and shirt looking like they had just been bought a few minutes ago, and was clearly uncomfortable.
Big city boy, just like Chance.
Only, this one looked like he deserved to be chased out of Ludwig with a shotgun. I could already tell I was going to hate him, and silently prayed that he and his friends were only here for a night, and I wouldn’t have to deal with them in the future. Thankfully there were no deliveries after today.
“Friends and I looking to book two rooms,” the man said, fishing his credit card from his pocket and sliding it across the counter.
“Sure thing,” Martha said. “You boys been driving long?”
“All the way from Austin.”
My head snapped around, and I caught him ogling me, smiling like an ass.
“Interesting,” Martha said, shooting me a sideway glance. “Seems like we’ve been getting a lot of Austin folk coming by this way. On your way to Houston?”
“Nope,” the man shook his head, every now and then stealing glances at me. “Our company has sent us here to renovate a new office space. We’re overseeing the work over the next few weeks.”
“Weeks?” Martha asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” the man nodded. “Didn’t I say? Oh, sorry, yeah, we’re booking the rooms until a few days after New Year’s Day.”
“That’s two months,” I said despite myself, and the man turned to look at me. He frowned a little, as if he were trying to place me, and that only made me feel worse about him.
“Yup, two months,” he said, turning back to Martha. “Is that a problem?”
Martha looked at me, as if asking me if my offer was still on the table. I shrugged. How much worse could they be?
“Nope, no problem,” Martha said. “Just let me get the paperwork ready.”
* * *
I didn’t know that Polly Wagner had sold her store, which was strange. Information like that would have travelled across Ludwig in less than an hour, but somehow, the sale had remained a secret.
I passed by the place on my way home, slowing down as I looked in the dark windows and padlocked door. Polly had run a pretty successful bakery out of there, until her husband had passed away and she had to pay back gambling debts she did not know he had. She had sold everything except for the store itself, probably in hopes that one day she’d be able to reopen.
Apparently, she had given up on that plan. I made a mental note to pass by her place to see how she was doing. It couldn’t be good if it meant selling the store.
But who the hell would buy it?
I frowned. Who in his right mind would buy and turn a store into office space? And exactly what kind of business was this? There was something off about all this, and I didn’t like it one bit. It was not normal for something as big as this to go unnoticed, or ignored for that matter.
Normally, the sale of a store would be the topic of gossip in town, but things were different here. I hadn’t heard anything about it at the diner, which was known to be Ludwig’s gossip center, and even Martha had seemed surprised when the man had explained why he and his friends were here. And when it came to Martha, she took pride in knowing everything that went on in town. This must have been killing her.
Let it go. You’ll find out soon enough. Taking one last look at the store, I shook my head in wonderment and drove away.