Chapter Nineteen – Evan

“Oh my God, I feel so nervous,” I admit to Katy as I shrug my jacket onto my shoulders. “We’ve been working towards this for so long and now… well now the day is here. It’s finally happening and now… well the future of my company, my life, and everyone in it is in someone else’s hands. Like, it’s up to the banks to decide whether they want to give me some more time and allow me to restructure the firm or not. Urgh, I don’t like someone else having the power.”

“I know you don’t,” Katy replies with a wry smile that holds a big secret within it. “Even if you give it up for a second, you have to claw it back. That’s just how you are I’m afraid.”

I know what she means here, I’m sure she’s talking about something sexual which makes me chuckle to myself. I am like that in the bedroom, I just can’t help myself. I’m just glad that Katy gets it. She and I have a real sexual compatibility that’s off the scale, it’s phenomenal, brand new to me.

“Yeah, well I don’t have any choice today, do I? I have to just do as I’m told.”

“We’ll be fine.” Katy grabs her briefcase and she looks at me. “We have this under control, we know what we’re saying, we’ve rehearsed this, we have all the information we need… there isn’t anything else that I can do. We have got this! We are going to kick ass in that meeting. Don’t worry.”

I nod in agreement with her, but the nerves don’t go anywhere. I don’t know what it is, I just can’t calm down. Maybe it’s because this isn’t just about work, it’s about this being the first day of the rest of my life. It doesn’t just affect me and the company, it’s also going to affect my child, my free time, potentially what I have with Katy too…What I want to have with Katy anyway.

I stare at her out the corner of my eye, as a happy glow overcomes me. There’s something brewing between me and Katy, something awesome and I can’t wait to explore it further. If I delegate more and Katy doesn’t take the partner job, then we’ll have much more time to spend together. Not that I would tell her not to take the job, I’d make us work around it, what she does is up to her. I just want Katy to be happy, whatever that means for her. It’s like we’re both working life stuff out now, and it’s quite nice to be able to do it together. I don’t feel so alone and confused.

“Are you ready to drive down to the courthouse for the meet?” Katy asks. “We might as well get there a little early right, just in case there’s traffic or anything. We can’t be late.”

“Oh right yeah, we should go early you’re right. That’ll give me some time to work things out anyway. I need to breathe and calm the hell down. Maybe I’ll even rehearse with you what I need to say again, if that’s okay with you? I think it’ll be good to go through it all again if you don’t mind.”

Katy rubs my arm in a comforting gesture. “Sure, Evan, whatever you need.”

As we walk from my office towards the elevator, Katy links her arm through mine. All eyes are upon us as we go, including those of Ally’s, but no one seems to react at all. I guess they all knew about me and Katy, it isn’t big news. It feels strange to me though, Katy is making me be open with my life and it’s scary… but not the worst thing in the world. Now my employees know about me and Katy and they know about Liam too. I’m showing the world who I am, just a little bit…

“Do you want me to drive?” Katy asks me as we reach the car. “I mean, I haven’t ever driven anything like this before but I don’t mind. I can take us there, maybe you can have a think.”

“I’m okay, honestly, Katy. But thank you.” My hands shake but I hide it from her. I don’t want her to realize just how nervous I am. “I can drive. I’m fine. It’ll be good for me to drive anyway.”

She nods and slides into the passenger’s seat of the car with her briefcase and all the paper work piled up onto my lap. She looks swamped by it all, but her expression is one of sheer determination. I suppose for me this is all brand new, but for Katy this is the sort of thing that she does all the time. She’s a lawyer who faces these sorts of people and she wins too. She isn’t a fool.

“You look good, Katy,” I tell her honestly as I start up the engine. “And I’m really glad to have you on my side. I don’t think I’d be able to do it if it wasn’t for you. You’ve made this seem not as horrible as it really is. When Barry first told me about this, I was scared, but now with you I feel… I don’t know, I feel okay about it.” I give her a smile. “You’ve given me so much confidence.”

“Thank you,” Katy replies sounding shocked. “That’s really kind of you to say. I mean, all I think I’ve really done is my standard work, but yeah. Thank you.”

She reaches across and holds my hand as I drive, which is the sweetest gesture in the world. I haven’t ever been the romantic type, even Victoria didn’t ever get that side of me, but with Katy it just feels natural. I don’t know what it is about her but our bond is different, it’s strong, intense.

I do my best to keep my eyes fixed on the road, but every so often I dart them towards Katy so I can drink her appearance in. She might be in professional mode but she looks more relaxed than she did when the first time I met her. I can really see her coming out of her shell. I love it, I want to see more of her. I want to see her every damn day. If there is the one for me, then it’s her. For sure.

“I have something to tell you,” Katy practically whispers as we drive. “I know it might be a bit heavy to discuss now but I feel like I need to get it off my chest.”

“Okay?” I reply curiously. “To be honest I’d welcome anything to take my mind off things at the moment, so go for it. What’s going on with you?”

“I’ve made my decision,” she tells me with pride in her tone. I don’t need to look at her to know that she’s smiling, I can just sense it radiating off of her. “I know what I’m going to do now.”

“You… you do?” My heart leaps up into my throat. This affects me too, whatever she says next has a big impact on how me and Katy will make this work, if we make this work.

“I do. You see, my main problem is all I can do is law. I don’t know anything else, it’s literally all that I have…” I don’t know if I like the way that this is going. “But I don’t want to continue with the life that I’ve been having. I need to find a way to have some more time.” I see her clench her fists together in excitement. “So… I guess what I’ve decided is to start up my own law firm.”

“Your own law firm? Are you serious? That’s crazy… but crazy awesome.”

“I know right, but I’ve been thinking about it and I think it’s the right move for me. I have the right skills and the right connections. It won’t be easy and it might take some work at first, but it’ll be mine so I’ll control the hours and the jobs. I’ll only take on the jobs I want.”

My heart skips an excitable beat, that’s really great news, she wants to start up a firm so she can work the hours that she wants, so she can work around her life. She can have a life that involves me, and if she ever wants to make things work with me, and move in with me, then she won’t even need to work much because I can take care of her… not that I’m getting carried away here.

“That sounds awesome, Katy. I’m really proud of you. That’s so great. You’re really taking control of your life and doing what you want. That’s just so brave and amazing.”

I grab her hand tighter and give her a grin. I really am glad for her, whatever makes her happy, and I really do think that we can see what we are to each other now. That’s all I want in the world.

“Thank you…” She pauses thoughtfully for a moment. “I wanted you to know first.”

We drive the rest of the distance in silence, but it’s a happy silence where we’re both lost in our own thoughts. I don’t know what Katy is thinking about, but I’m secretly planning a future inside my mind. I’m seeing me, Katy, and Liam becoming this little cut family that are happy forever more.

What has happened to me? I can’t help but think. Who have I become?

If someone had told me a few months ago that I would end up planning a future with a woman I would have screamed with laughter, but then I didn’t know that Katy was about to rock into my life and change absolutely everything for the better. God, I’m so glad to have her. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her now, my life would be empty without her. She’s amazing.

Once we arrive at the court house, I park up the car and take a few deep breaths. On the drive down, I thought I would want to go over the speech again and again but now I just want to let it happen. I feel like I’ve rehearsed myself to death and I don’t want to do it anymore.

“Shall we take a walk?” I turn to ask Katy with a little tremble in my voice. “Maybe take a walk around the block or something? Work off some nerves?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever you want. Whatever you need to do.”

Katy pushes herself out of the car and she leaves all the paper work in the car so we can take a walk. She smiles at me happily and waits for me to get ready, but before I can join her, my cell phone blasts out, making me jump with shock it’s so loud.

Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

“Oh, it’s Nancy, one of the nannies,” I tell Katy regretfully. “This might be about Liam so I better just take it. Is that okay? Will you be alright?”

“Sure,” she indicates towards the car. “You do whatever you need to do. I’ll just wait here. Take as long as you need, okay? I’ll just have a read through the opening statement again.”

As I walk away from Katy to find somewhere to take the call in private I feel all weird inside. Nancy is one of the better nannies, she never rings me unless she really needs to so this freaks me out. I really don’t need any bad news right now, not before my meeting. I just need to get my head in the game. But if it’s something related to Liam then I have to hear it. It might be important.

“Hello,” I say shakily. “Nancy, is everything alright?”

Then she says the statement that’s going to change everything forever…