Chapter Twenty Eight – Serena
“This is lovely, isn’t it?” I breathe a sigh of relief once both the kids are sleeping. “It’s so rare that they’re both asleep at the same time. I mean, it’s better than it was in the beginning, but rare... ooh.” Ben immediately starts running kisses up and down my neck which sends a shiver racing up and down my spine. It’s a delicious sensation that comes from nowhere. “You’re being very loving today, what’s going on with you?”
He has as well, he’s been much more touchy feeling ever since I woke him up this morning on the couch. It’s almost as if something has shifted in his mind and I don’t know what it is. I want to ask him, but his mouth is too busy being all over me.
“I sure am, but how can I not be loving when I have you.”
I turn my body towards him and curl up into him so he can kiss me hard. His lips feel incredible up against mine and they make me gasp. I know I said to Jenny that I wouldn’t ever have sex again after the horror of giving birth, but that’s all been long forgotten now. Now with Ben running his hands up and down my curves I want him again desperately.
“Oh God, that feels good,” I groan. “So fucking good.”
Ben pushes me back, he lies me down on the couch and kisses me all over my face and neck. Each time his lips brush against me the sensations of excitement intensify within me. I throw my hands above my head and close my eyes. His hands reach down and slowly unbuttons my flannel pyjama top. It isn’t the sexiest item that I’ve ever worn, but Ben is pawing at it like it is. I don’t have a bra on underneath, so his hand cups my breast in an instant which makes Ben’s breathing become much more intense and ragged.
“Oh God, Serena, you feel so good. I can’t even describe it. You’re amazing.”
Despite the fact that we have children now and everything is really different, it still kinda feels like our first time together. The way he grasps at me needily, like it’s the very first time he’s ever grasped hold of me. I love it, I love the way this makes me feel.
Then his mouth moves over one of my nipples and my back arches against him. He teases by rolling and teasing and tugging with his teeth. It’s an odd painful sensation that somehow manages to be incredibly pleasurable. He’s on fire, and he’s lighting my body up like a damn Christmas tree as he does. I fire on every cylinder, my excitement level growing.
“Oh, Ben.” I run my fingers through his hair, fixing him in place, and he continues to run his tongue all over me. “You’re killing me right now.”
When he shifts his body upwards so he can kiss my mouth I take the opportunity to slide my fingers tantalisingly down his body so I can feel his cock. I’ve missed him, more than I thought I would and now I need to hold him. I need to feel that thick steel rod of his between my fingers. The idea makes my mouth water. I can barely contain myself.
It doesn’t take me long to find his length, after all I’m still very familiar with his body, and as I hold him between my fingers, my heart explodes with love. That’s how all of this started, with a deep sexual connection that I hadn’t ever felt before. Who knew that connection would turn into all of this? I think even with my rose-tinted goggles on, I didn’t know it would be this incredible.
I run my hand up and down his thick warm length, gasping blissfully as I do. Sometimes I forget how big he really is, and it gives me that nervous excitement sensation in my chest once more.
“I gotta tell you, Serena,” Ben grunts into my ear, allowing his breath to tickle my cheek. “Your touch is about to fucking make me explode. You want to be careful if you don’t want this to be over all too quickly.”
I pout and pull my hand away. “Fine, but I’m not happy about it.”
“And to think, I assumed I would be the one to corrupt you. Little did I know it would be you who corrupted me.”
His words fire me up even further, so I spin myself around until he’s the one on his back and I’m straddling him. I love this sensation of power and control, it makes me feel sexy. Which is hard since I’m in these flannel pyjama bottoms...
I push myself off Ben and slide them down. I don’t have any panties on anyway, I must have forgotten to put some on, which works out well now. Then I climb back on and sit above him so he can see all of me. Yes, my body has changed. I don’t think any woman can go through labour and come out of it completely the same, especially since I’ve had twins, but the way that Ben’s looking at me it’s as if I still look exactly the same as I did the day we first me.
“You really are something else, you know that?” Ben pushes himself up to kiss me. One of his hand knots up into my hair but the other one runs slowly up and down my thigh. With every brush he gets ever nearer to where I need him, which soaks my slit and gets me even more desperate for him. It’s been too long, I might just explode.
“Will you stop teasing already?” I gasp breathlessly. “Don’t forget we have two little mites who enjoy ruining our alone time together at every opportunity.”
“You’re right with that one.”
He slips one finger right up into me, and it feels incredible. My body bucks violently as a reaction to the way he caresses and massages my insides. He’s touching me like I’m something precious, something to be looked after, which is surprisingly what I need. It’s slow and sensual and it feels really good.
Eventually he brings his thumb into the mix, which he flicks over my clit. My body is already so hypersensitive that a pressure instantly stiffens me. My stomach is hot, my head spins, my heart hammers... I’m losing control. I can see what Ben meant now when he said about me touching him, it’s too much. The only difference is that I’m too weak to stop him. I don’t want it to end...
“Oh my God, Ben,” I pant. “I can’t... it’s too...”
I’m on the knife edge, teetering on the edge of desire. It won’t take long for me to fall into the abyss, I can feel it, the pleasure is coming for me. It’s rushing towards me like a hurricane, swirling in my belly, spinning too rapidly through me...
Then Ben yanks his fingers out of me which gives me a moment to breathe. I try to calm myself down, I need to bring everything back down before anything else happens so I don’t lose myself too quickly, but I can’t seem to do it. I’m burning brightly, swimming in stars, any minute now I think I might fall into the abyss of pleasure whether Ben is touching me or not. The memory of his fingers is all too much.
“I think it’s best to be safe,” he gushes while grabbing a condom from his pocket. “After what happened before.”
I giggle a bit of a nervous sound. “Yeah, I think you’re right. We learnt that lesson the hard way. Always be careful.”
Once he rolls the latex over him, I pull him back towards me. I wait for him to angle himself into me so that I can ride him, but he doesn’t let that happen. Instead, Ben takes control by flipping me so I’m the one on my back. Once there he rests his forehead against mine and he gazes into my eyes. As we stare at once another there’s so much love flowing between us that it swells and fills up my chest.
“I love you,” Ben insists in his strongest, sweetest voice. “You have no idea how much, Serena. You really are my whole world.”
And there it is. The reminder that it isn’t the same. It’s better, it’s more, it’s everything. Ben really is mine now, we don’t have that element of uncertainty anymore. It’s me and him against the world. Well, with Brandon and Rose too, of course. Our reason to keep on fighting.
“I love you too.” I kiss the end of his nose gently. “You’re my world.”
When Ben kisses me again I fell him slide inside me, which instantly drags me back into that deep, passionate haze again. My hair spreads out around my, my eyes roll into the back of my head, my hips buck of their own accord... me and Ben are back, doing what we do best.
He fills me up and pushes deeper with every thrust. I can feel him hitting all the right spots already, and since I’m already on fire this just sends me over the edge too quickly. I cry out and I trash as I draw ever nearer to the wonderful, unexpected moment that I’ve been desperately waiting for ever since I sat down on this couch and Ben started kissing me.
“Oh fuck, Ben!”
I’m over the edge, I’ve fallen. The hurricane has exploded within me. It’s swirling, twirling, cascading, taking me down and I love the sensation. It’s incredible. I never want it to end, especially with Ben gripping onto me as if he feels the same way.
This is someone that I could easily spend the rest of my life with, I think as the pleasure booms. I love him, he loves me, this time I think it might just last.
Once we lie in one another’s arms, panting and gasping in the post coital bliss, I revisit that last thought I had as the orgasm swirled and crashed inside me. Actually, I think I’ve always thought that Ben is someone I could marry, that’s why I got so carried away by him in the first place, but now I really feel it. Now it isn’t just a fantasy, it’s a reality. It’s not like I think it’s going to happen any time soon, but it isn’t something that I think will never happen either.
Mom, Dad, if only you could see me now. If only you could learn that it all worked out for the best. Would you still stick by your decision to throw me out when I needed you the most?
I don’t even care about their actions anymore, it’s them missing out, not me. I’m doing just fine with my brand new family. They don’t deserve a piece of me, not anymore. I have everything that I need right here.
“Are you hungry?” Ben gasps from beside me. “Shall we use this rare free time to do something else that we adore?”
“What, eat?” I laugh. “Sure, that sounds great.” My stomach grumbles loudly at the mere mention of food. “Really great apparently. Thank you. What did you have in mind?”
“I do a really good meat and beans on toast, how does that sound?”
“Mmm, it sounds delicious. Thank you, my wonderful top chef.”
“Top chef?” He wiggles his eyebrows playfully at me. “You have no idea, you’re in for a real treat.”
When Ben stands up and he pulls his clothes back on him, or more comfortably around him anyway, things happened a bit quick for us to get him fully naked, I smirk happily to myself at the sight of him. I really did land a good guy; handsome, lovely, a great father... I really don’t need anything else. Somehow I managed to get it all.