Chapter Fifteen – Logan
It takes Pru far too long to get to the door, I start to get a little worried. I hammer on it until she swings it open with a very pale, terrified looking face. Sweat pours down her forehead, her eyes wide and shocked, she looks like she’s really been through the ringer. It worried me even more.
“Come in,” she gushes and grabs onto my arm to yank me in. “I need you to hear this.”
She races over to one of the walls and pushes her ear up against it. “This is the apartment where they were arguing before and it sounded like things might have been getting violent. Now, I don’t know what is going on in there. It sounds all weird and I’m scared. I’m frightened for her.”
I don’t know what I’ve walked into, but I walk towards the wall to listen too. After everything that Pru has been through it makes sense that any angry words would freak her out. It’s just unfortunate that she lives in this awful neighborhood where things like that are far too common.
“Oh… Pru.” I have to stifle a smile as I recognize those sounds well. Bless her, she’s utterly adorable. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. They aren’t arguing anymore.”
“What are they doing then?” She gives me an incredulous look. “It sounds… weird.”
“They’re having sex.” It feels weird to say the ‘s’ word in front of Pru, especially when it makes her face flame like crazy. She’s so innocent, it’s absolutely killer. “So, you don’t have to worry.”
She folds her arms across her chest as if she’s trying to hold herself together and my heart goes out to her. This new world is clearly too much for her, it’s terrifying her and I feel bad. I thought I was helping her, but clearly, I’ve pushed her into something she isn’t ready for.
I’m not comfortable with it, but I might have to suggest that she goes back into the center. I’ve just gotten my clean break from her, things are supposed to be going back to normal but Pru’s welfare is so much more important. “So what’s scaring you? Is it everything?”
“I don’t know.” She looks about ready to burst into tears. “Yeah, I suppose so, I don’t like this apartment in the night time, the city is a scary place to be all by myself.”
I bite down on my bottom lip, cursing myself before I speak. Why do I need to say this? “Do you want me to take you back to the centre? I know they still have your bed and as far as I’m aware they don’t have any plans to fill it soon. I can put in a call right now, if that’s what you want?”
“No, please don’t.” She shakes her head vehemently. “I don’t want to go back there.”
“But you don’t want to stay here either?” She shakes her head again, leaving me with very little option. “And I suppose a hotel is out the question, because you’ll still be by yourself.” I sigh, knowing that there’s really only one more choice. “Do you want to come to mine?”
Her whole face lights up, she loves the idea, but I can tell from the way that she holds herself this wasn’t her plan all along. She’s just scared, she doesn’t want to be by herself, and I suppose I can’t blame her. I didn’t like living alone at first either and I was much more savvy than Pru.
“You would do that for me?” she gushes. “Are you serious? That sounds absolutely amazing.”
“Of course, I would.” I grab my car keys out of my pocket and I wave them at her in a bit of a teasing manner, trying to keep it a bit light. “But let’s go quick because I don’t like where I’ve parked my car. It isn’t the nicest neighborhood here, is it? Do you need to pack up your stuff?”
She grabs her bag from the floor and flings it over her shoulder. “All packed. Let’s go.”
With that, we leave the, admittedly very grotty apartment, behind and we make our way down the stairs. As we go, I notice the constant blaring of the sirens and the banging. It is particularly loud here, no wonder Pru is freaked out. The center is far away from all of this, to keep it quiet for the kids who have been through a lot, so no wonder it’s hard hitting.
“We’ll take a look for a better apartment tomorrow,” I tell her as we go. “I don’t think you should come back here. I’ll ring up the realtor, kick off at her for lying and get my deposit back, then I’ll do what I can to find you a better place. Somewhere you can afford in a much nicer place.”
“Thank you, Logan, and I’m sorry I’ve been such a mess,” she replies morosely. “I really did want to be stronger. I guess I just didn’t think about the reality of it all.”
I grab onto her shoulders and spin her around to face me. “Pru, it’s honestly fine. I gave you my cell phone number for a reason. I wanted to be there whenever you need me, and that still includes night one. I know this is huge for you, so trust me when I say that it’s okay.”
She stares intently at me and nods. “Thank you, Logan. Now please, get me out of here.”
With more determination, we get down the stairs and to my car, which has thankfully remained completely untouched. I’m so glad I have a spare room now, because it means I can have Pru at mine comfortably. There won’t be any awkwardness about sleeping arrangements, it’ll just be easy. Until tomorrow when I get her a really nice home to live in. Even if I need to help her out a bit at first, anything to help Pru out… God, I would give that girl anything. Absolutely anything.
***
Pru bounds into my living room in her sweet little pajamas with a much more relaxed look on her face. With her hair scraped back and her face all washed clean, all sadness and stress has gone which makes her look beautiful and angelic all over again. I can’t help but smile at her.
“All better?” I ask happily. “Ready to actually get some sleep now? You must be shattered.”
“I am. Thank you so much. I have to say I feel a whole lot calmer here. Your apartment is lovely and the neighborhood is nice.” She glances around, drinking all of it in. “It’s a shame I can’t live in this building. That way I could always feel safe because I know you’re nearby.”
My heart skips about ten beats as I think about that idea. The thought of her coming in and out of the same building as me every single day is so wonderful. I could keep an eye on her, still keep that connection with her. I wouldn’t have to have any sort of clean break at all.
But maybe that would be a problem. Maybe if we cling to each other for support we’ll never be able to move past this. We’ll be stuck in this rut forever, getting deeper every single day.
“Yeah that would be…” I let out a mirthless chuckle. “That would be something.”
We pause and our eyes connect once more. It reminds me of all the times in the center when we had our taboo, naughty little looks that were so damn wrong it killed me. This is like that, but different too. There is no center, no people in our way, no rules that are there to shit all over us, Pru is no longer a child, she’s an adult. But still, it isn’t right. Still we cannot do this.
“So, erm, here is the spare room.” I walk towards the bedroom and open the door to her. There is the double bed that’s never been slept in. “I hope it’s okay for you…”
“Oh yeah that’s awesome.” As she races into the room, she brushes against me a little bit and it sets me alight. My whole body burst into flames and I find it extremely difficult to reel myself in. This is much too casual, much too informal, I can feel myself just about ready to explode. “I' love it, thank you so much, Logan. This is much too kind, you’ve been far too good to me.”
“No, that’s okay. This spare room is meant to be slept in. It feels good to have visitors anyway.”
“I don’t think I’m tired yet now, after all that,” she says with a giggle. “Could I have a drink?”
“You can have one that isn’t alcoholic,” I warn her. “I’m not going to let you do that…”
“I don’t want an alcoholic one you fool! I want something cool and refreshing.”
I take her into the kitchen and pour us both some orange juice. Pru sits on one of the bar stools and smiles at me over her glass. Even though this is incredibly weird, but at the same time it feels really natural to have her here. She lights up the place and looks like she belongs. The fact that she looks so good here allows my mind to concoct the most wonderful fantasy where she stays here all the time, where she lives here and she is with me. We’re together as a couple.
Stop it you fool, I warn myself. What the hell are you playing at?
“So, erm, when do you start working? I never thought to ask you that?”
“Day after tomorrow,” she sighs audibly. “I hope it goes better than moving into my apartment did. I’m so sorry about that, by the way. I still feel really awful about it. I can’t believe…”
“Pru.” I reach across and touch her hand, trying to ignore the sparks of excitement that she has bolting thought me. “Please stop apologizing. I honestly don’t mind. I don’t want you to feel guilty anymore. I’m happy to help you. I want to be here for you. It’s my…” I almost finish that sentence with the word job but I stop myself at the last moment. I don’t need that reminder.
“I suppose I better get to bed now,” Pru announces while hopping down. “I might not be tired but I don’t want to lie in all day tomorrow. I have a lot that I want to do.”
She pauses in front of me and gazes up at me through her eyelashes looking so pretty it hurts. I freeze, unable to do anything other than look at her. Even as she rests her hands on my chest and she pushes herself up onto her tiptoes, I do nothing.
Her mouth edges closer to mine, allowing her breath to tickle my lips. I know this is my time to pause, to push her away from me and to keep the boundaries very clear, but I don’t. My brain is screaming at me to do so, but I simply cannot do it. I feel messy, muddy, raw and not necessarily in a bad way. I tilt my head downwards and I give myself over to her in a way that I probably shouldn’t.
Then, our lips connect for just a brief, glorious second. It’s barely anything, just a little brush, but my God it makes me feel alive. I’ve never felt anything like it in my life. I don’t usually do much kissing anyway, I just get right to it, but even if I do it’s never sweet and tender like this. It’s passionate, frantic, rapid. This is insanely wonderful, I’m loving every single second of it.
It proves to me that I am in too deep, I’m in so much trouble.
“Goodnight,” she whispers. “See you in the morning.”
“Yeah… see you then.”