Chapter Twenty Eight – Prudence
This is just a test, it has to be. Another thing come along to test my resolve. Just when I thought I had everything worked out all over again, this shocker comes out of the left wing to knock me over. I’ve spent a week and a half planning this, I know for a fact that it’s what I have to do and nothing is going to stop me. Not even the love of my life declaring that he feels the same way.
“It’s too late,” I reiterate, really trying to drive the point home. “I’m about to go now.”
“You can’t go.” He shakes his head rapidly from side to side. “You can’t, it isn’t right. I know that I fucked up but you can’t just leave. I mean, where are you even going?”
I sigh loudly, knowing that this is going to be the worst bit. “I’m moving to another state, Logan. I’m going to California to start again. I can’t be in New York anymore, it isn’t the place for me. I have… too many memories here, too many things that have gone wrong.” I give him a meaningful look, hoping that he knows I include him in that list. “I need to be free. To start new.”
“But… but what about practical stuff?” I can almost see him panicking. “What about an apartment and a job? What about paying for stuff? What about… there’s just too much to do.”
I chuckle lightly, finally feeling like an adult who doesn’t need to be taken care of. “I’ve done all that, Logan. I have an apartment, I’ve paid the deposit on it. I even have a job lined up. Just a temporary thing until I work out what I really want to do… you’ve helped me well, Logan, but I know what I’m doing now.” I pull the check out of my bag that I was going to quietly and anonymously drop off on my way, but I might as well give it to him now since he’s here. “I even have the cash to pay you back. I picked up some extra shifts in a bar to save up a little so…”
“So, you really are doing it?” Logan takes the check off me and he stuffs it into his pocket. He needs the money more than me now since he’s out of work as far as I know. “You really are going?”
“I’ve had a wonderful time here in New York City, but I think I need to put my past behind me once and for all now. The center is here which will always remind me of my childhood, and well.. you know, getting my heart broken. Not that I blame you, of course. You didn’t have a choice.”
“But that’s the thing.” Logan steps closer to me and for some reason I allow him to take my hands, despite the fact that I know it’ll stir me up all over again. Mind you, this whole visit has done that all by itself. “I did have a choice and I chose wrong. I should have told the center where to go. I only didn’t because I was afraid I couldn’t do anything else with my life and I also thought the cops might come in the picture. Trust me, I got threatened with that on more than one occasion.”
“A threat that they carried out,” I tell him honestly. His eyes fill up with fear and shock, compelling me to dispel those emotions. “I got rid of them, there’s nothing to worry about, but yeah they did come. That’s something else I want to get away from. I want to be somewhere new where no one knows me so I don’t have to feel like I’m always looking over my shoulder.”
Now that he’s here, I realize that would be a better dream if I could have it with Logan. There we could just be two people who met and fell in love. I yearn for that, I would love that, much as I’m excited for the new adventure I would much rather do it with him than alone… but I can’t ask him to give up the life that he has here. His roots are dug much deeper than mine.
“I can’t lose you.” All of a sudden, Logan starts sobbing and he collapses to his knees as if in shock. “I can’t lose you, Pru, I can’t. I don’t want to do my life without you.” I remain silent because I don’t know what he expects me to say to that. “I can’t imagine going through the rest of my life without you. Pru, you are everything to me. I need you. Please…” He glances up at me, looking at me with wet, sad eyes. “Please, let me come with you. I want to start again too.”
My heart lifts and dances with excitement, but I know that I cannot agree. “No, Logan, you can’t come with me. I don’t have a life here and you do. I can’t ask you to leave that for me.”
“I don’t have anything!” he insists while flinging his arms in the air. “I have an apartment that I hate, no job, no friends, no nothing. If you go, I really won’t have anything. This won’t just be for you, it’ll be for myself too. Please, we could go and get my stuff, get into my car and drive there together. It’ll be wonderful, just me and you as it was always meant to be.”
His offer is so tempting it makes my mouth water. If I think about it, the only issue that me and Logan had was other people. If we can eliminate that then there’s no reason why we can’t make this work. I can go back to the girl who has it all, but it can be real, no longer a dream ready to be shredded apart at any given moment. He seems dead serious too, like he really does want this.
“How do I know that you’re serious?” I check. “How do I know that this isn’t just a spur of the moment thing because it isn’t for me. I’ve been working on this for ages, I know it’s what I want.”
Logan unexpectedly reaches into his pocket and he pulls out a small box as if that holds all the answers. “Pru, I brought this in secret a while ago, the moment that I knew I was falling in love with you. I might have told myself that I let go of you, but I haven’t and the proof is in the fact that I’ve been carrying this around with me ever since I first got it, I still want you to have it.”
“What is it?” I ask while leaning forward to get a better look. Nope, it just looks like a small little black box to me, nothing special. That is… until Logan opens it and I get a glimpse of the beautiful small, delicate diamond and silver ring that he has inside. “Logan, what…?”
“Prudence Evans, I’ve wanted to marry you for longer than you know. There’s something very special about you that hooks me in and keeps me there, falling deeper in love with you every single day. I haven’t built many connections in my life, and none as strong as the one that I feel with you.”
My breaths become ragged, I can hardly stand this, it’s all crazily too much. This day has been a roller coaster from start to finish, and it isn’t showing any signs of letting up just yet.
“I want to come to California with you, or wherever the hell I want to go because you are my home, and I want to spend the rest of my life making up for all the mistakes that I’ve made. I want to make you happy, to love you with everything that I’ve got, to really have a future with you. I never wanted to settle down with anyone before, but that’s just because I hadn’t met the right person. But you are that person, and I can’t see a future with anyone else.” He smiles thinly through the tears streaming down his face and I return the expression. My whole body is shaking with happiness, I don’t know what’s going on. “So, while this isn’t exactly the way that I imagined this moment happening, but it’s here now upon us. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”
“Of course I will,” I say without a moment of hesitation. This might be unexpected, but it’s what I want more than anything in the world. “Yes, yes, so many times yes.”
Logan leaps up to kiss me while sliding the ring onto my finger, and as he does I really feel like I’m his for the very first time. He’s claimed me now with this ring, which solidifies an actual, real life future for us together. All of a sudden, my life in California feels even brighter with the love of my life by my side. We can finally just be happy, which is all we’ve ever wanted.
I leap up and I wrap my legs around Logan’s waist as a powerful bolt of sexual desire hits me in the core. I’m engaged now, Logan’s fiancée and I want to have some fun with that. While I’m wrapped around him, I can feel Logan growing excited too, which only fires me up even more.
“Oh, Logan,” I moan into his mouth as I slide back down to the ground with a wicked idea playing through my mind. “I think that it’s my turn to be on my knees now.”
This isn’t something that I have any experience doing, but I’ve fantasized about it enough times – always with Logan, even when my heart was shattered – to be able to go with my instincts.
I look up at him with desire glazing over my eyes as I unbuckle his trousers and I pull them to the ground, then I pull that incredible erection of his free. I gasp, the wetness pooling in my panties as I look at him. Up this close and personal, he’s even bigger! Huge and hot as hell.
I wrap my lips around him while holding on to his base and slowly drag my head up and down. I keep looking up at him the entire time, wanting to check that I’m doing this right. What feels good to me might not to him and I want to be good for him, I want him to enjoy himself.
Logan tosses his head backwards and his thighs tremble which I assume is a good thing, and as I add my tongue into the mix, flickering it all over him, the groans and moans that fly past his lips seem to spell good news. I use my other hand to cling onto his butt so I can drive him further down my throat, really testing the boundaries of what I can do. I like this, it feels awesome.
“Stop,” Logan eventually gasps, shocking me. “Stop, that’s too good, it’s too much.”
“What do you mean?” I’m hurt, I was enjoying that new experience then.
“I need to be inside you,” Logan gushes while joining me on the floor. “I need to feel you.”
I fall onto my back feeling like I might explode while Logan tugs my panties to one side and he slides into me. He’s so desperate to connect with me that he cannot wait for even a second. It turns me on so much that I can do that to him, my walls clamp around him and claim his as mine.
I wrap my legs around his back and drive him in deeper and deeper to hit every spot inside of me, my head spinning and the heat building inside of me. As we make love for the first time in what feels like forever, I glance down at my ring as the pleasure comes for me. I’m not alone, we’re together in this, and the future that we share together is going to be utterly incredible. We’ve already been through so much to know that we can survive it all now. We really can take on the world.
“Oh fuck, Logan!” Finally, the orgasm crashes over me like a tsunami of waves that won’t stop coming. My hips buck, my body shudders and trembles, I completely fall apart in Logan’s arms but there isn’t anywhere else in the world that I would rather be than with him right now.
“Oh, Pru,” he gushes as he comes with me. “I love you, I love you so much.”
I am never going to get tired of hearing those words, as long as we both shall live.