Chapter Eleven – Ben
As we lay in Serena’s bed panting next to one another, my brain isn’t in my head anymore. It can’t be, somewhere during that intense orgasm it must have flown away, that’s the only explanation I have for the words that come out of my mouth next, that despite my money are nothing like me at all.
“This place is tiny and a bit crappy. How can you live here?”
Instantly, I cringe, but I don’t say anything to try and rectify my words. They’re out there now, there’s no way I can make them any better. I can tell from Serena’s crestfallen face that I’ve been an asshole, but I don’t know how to make it better.
“I know, it is small I suppose,” she replies in a small voice. “But I’m used to it. I’ve been here for about five years so now it’s just home.” She shrugs, trying to act blasé, but I can see this really bothers her. “I guess it won’t be for much longer though. I’m going to have to move if Jenny gets the job. There’s no way I can afford it on my own.”
I want to offer to pay for it for her, but something inside me tells me that it’ll be the wrong thing to say. Just because I have money doesn’t mean I should flash it and be arrogant about it. “Can you not... get another roommate?” I ask cautiously. “To live in Jenny’s room?”
“Yeah, I suppose I could. I just... I don’t know what it’ll be like living here with someone else. I don’t think it’ll be the same.” She pushes herself into a sitting position. “I guess I won’t worry too much about it yet, I’ll wait to see what happens first.” She might not even get the job so I don’t want to get carried away with worry just yet.” She pushes herself out of the bed and straightens down her top and skirt. I feel bad that I didn’t manage to get her naked but it all happened far too quickly. “Anyway, I’m just headed to the bathroom then I’ll get a drink. You want something?”
“Water, please. Thank you, Serena.”
“Sure.” Her smile is a little unsure. Her body language is awkward which makes me very curious. I want to know why, after that mind blowing craziness, she’s acting that way. She just gave me the best sex ever, and she doesn’t even seem to realise that. How do I tell her without being weird about it. “I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here,” I reassure her in case she fears I might run away at the first opportunity I get. “Waiting for you.”
She nods, but doesn’t look any more convinced, then she spins on her heels to leave.
I get a glimpse of her butt as she leaves the room which sparks my desire all over again. It’s almost five in the morning now, I don’t know if either of us have it in us for round two, but I still really can’t wait until it happens again. I have no desire to race out of here, despite the fact that my bed at home is so much more comfortable, with Serena I just want to be with her.
I definitely like her, I think I could fall for her.
I don’t like hearing that she has all these problems, that I can’t immediately solve. I mean, I could solve them by throwing some money at her but I don’t want things to get weird. Serena isn’t the gold digger type, I’ve seen enough of them in my time to know, and I know that she’ll be offended. So what can I do? How can I help her?
My brain racks, but in all honesty I’m far too tired to come up with some logical solution. I know it’s there somewhere in my brain, but I can’t find it anywhere. I hope that with a bit of sleep it’ll come to me. My eyes flicker. I want to stay awake to see Serena when she comes back into the room, but I know that I can’t. The exhaustion, plus the expensive champagne, has got the better of me, and combined with the post orgasmic bliss is too much. I promised Serena that I would be here, I want to be awake too, but I just can’t seem to make it.
The blackness comes for me quickly, and I succumb to it, but Serena is in my brain the whole time, infiltrating my dreams and making me fall for her all over again...
***
My eyes snap open as soon as the sunlight streams through the window... or at least as soon as I notice it. By the time my vision adjusts I realise that it’s actually quite bright, so it’s probably pretty late in the morning. I move my hand to the side, expecting to feel the softness of Serena’s skin next to me, but all I get are cold sheets.
The bed is cold and empty, and it has been for a while now.
“Serena?” I croak, pushing myself into a sitting position. “Where are you?”
The last thing I remember is Serena going to the bathroom and to get a drink. There’s a tall glass of water next to me and a dent in the bed which suggests she came back to sleep, but for some reason she’s gone all over again. I need to find out where and what’s going on with her. The last thing I want is for the most amazing night of my life to turn into something awkward and weird.
I take a massive gulp of the water and I get out the bed. I pad across the room and to the door which opens up into her living room. This home is so small that it doesn’t even have hallways, it’s so cramped, the complete opposite to mine, but it’s Serena’s home and she’s clearly terrified of losing it.
“Serena?” She’s sitting on the couch and curled over herself as if she might be crying. My blood runs cold, is this my fault? Is she upset because she slept with me? I don’t want to be her mistake. “Serena, are you okay?”
She lifts up her face to look at me and the red rims around her eyes prove that she has been crying. “I’m sorry, Ben, this is bad timing. I don’t mean to be upset right now, this isn’t right.”
I perch on the chair opposite her and lean my elbows onto my knees. I don’t want to get too close in case I am the problem here. “What’s going on? Don’t worry about timing, or whatever, just tell me.”
It’s weird to care. I can’t recall the last time that any woman and her emotions, aside from my mother of course, got to me. It feels all odd and shaky inside, I almost don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do with myself.
“It’s Jenny.” She holds up her cell phone to indicate that she’s just been on a call. “She just called me. She got the job so she’s definitely leaving.” She sobs a little, but I feel frozen. I don’t know how I’m supposed to behave now. “I know I already knew about this and I had some time to prepare, but it’s still a shock. I mean she’s going to be gone, she’ll be travelling the world on some cruise ship and I’ll still be stuck here. Alone, with a job I hate and no home.”
“A job you hate?” I can’t help being a little offended by that. That’s how we met.
“Oh not you,” she reassures me. “I’ve loved spending time with you, but all the other guys in there are horrible. Plus if I have to move then I’ll probably live too far away to make it worth it. I can’t travel too far across the city at that time of morning in that outfit, you know, it just isn’t safe.”
“I’ll always walk you,” I insist, trying to make her smile. “You know that.”
She smirks but looks down. Her sadness isn’t going anywhere any time soon. Even I can’t help with that. “Yeah, I know, I just don’t like the way that everything is changing much too quickly. It’s a bit much.” She wipes some stray tears that fly out of her eyes. “Sorry, I know I’m being an idiot, it’s just the news just came through and I’m shocked.”
I move over to where she’s sitting on the couch and put my arms around her. As I do my mind ticks over, my brain scans right through it for any possible solution. I know it needs to be in there somewhere, it has to be.
Oh my God...
As my brain hits upon it, the jackpot idea, I pause for a moment just checking through it in my mind. It’s perfect, but radical and I need to check if it’s smart before I actually go through with it. I like the idea, I like Serena, but I don’t want to do anything rash. I don’t want to do anything rash that could ruin us....
Nope, it’s great, I’m going to go for it.
“Why don’t you come and live with me for a while?” Predictably, she pulls back and she stares at me like I’m a mad person. “No, I know how that sounds, but just hear me out before you start jumping to conclusions. My house is massive, I have plenty of spare rooms so you could definitely have your own space, there would be absolutely no pressure on your shoulders at all for anything. You could just stay there while you work out what you want to do with your life. I’ll cover all expenses so you don’t have to worry about it, you can stop working in the club and just take some time.”
She stands up and paces the room, clearly stunned by my insane suggestion. I knew she would be, I feel a bit like that myself, but once she takes a moment she’ll come around I just know it.
“I’m not saying you have to make a decision right now,” I tell her reassuringly. “Why don’t you just come with me to mine and take a look. See if it’s something you could get on board with.”
“But won’t it be weird? Like, after us hooking up and stuff? Will it be strange for us to live together?” Serena’s face goes a deep bright red now. “I know that’s odd to ask but I want to be sure that this won’t be a mistake.”
I stand up and join her, taking her hands in mine. “Only if we make it that way. We can make it whatever it is, you know? There’s no pressure. We can just be. We can be roommates or friends, or whatever.” Even I don’t know what I want, which is understandable since we’ve only known each other two days, but there’s something deep in my chest that’s telling me this is right. I’m not impulsive, that’s what’s gotten me this far in life. But now, I want to be. For her. “Just come and see the house, let’s go from there.”
She nods slowly. “I suppose that can’t hurt.” Her face breaks into a smile. “I would like to see where your house is anyway. It’s only fair since you’ve seen mine. I need a distraction anyway. I don’t want to sit around moping all day. Jenny’s going, that’s that. I don’t want to think about it for another second longer.”
As Serena heads into her bedroom I wait for the moment of regret to come in but it doesn’t. I just feel good about my decision, I want this. The idea of Serena living in my home, invading my personal space, it just seems like it’s going to be awesome.