Chapter Fifteen – Evan

That woman is too much, I think to myself with a smile on my face as I watch Katy work. She is absolutely awesome. I don’t know what I would do without her.

I don’t even just mean that professionally anymore, I mean it personally too. We might have only slept together only once a couple of days ago, but the memory is still very fresh in my mind. We’ve both just had lots to do which is why we haven’t had the chance again… I can’t wait until we do. The chemistry we share is stronger than ever and the knowledge that we have a sexual compatibility will only make it better. There’s always a risk with the first time of having sex with someone that it won’t be as good as you think it’s going to be… but that wasn’t the case with Katy. It was better.

“Are you okay?” I ask her cautiously. “You look a bit strung out?”

She looks more stressed than normal, and I have a feeling it isn’t anything to do with the stack of paper in her hands. She’s distracted, and I want to know why. Maybe it’ll even be me…

“Oh I’m sorry.” She shakes her head rapidly as if she’s trying to rid her brains of any thoughts. “I am a bit. I don’t mean to be and I don’t want it to affect any of my work…”

I gently put my hand on her arm to silence her before she gets into a full blown rant about whatever it is that’s bothering her. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re allowed to be stressed out about something other than my problems, you know? I know that’s what I’m paying you for, but I’m not a monster.”

She lets out a sound that I think is supposed to be a laugh, but it’s much too strangled for that. She can’t seem to pull off breezy while something is clearly going on with her. “I know, I just don’t like worrying about my own stuff when I’m on the clock.” She takes in a deep breath, then drops the bomb shell. “Grant has just messaged me and I think they’re going to announce the partner soon. I might have to get back to the office for it. If you don’t mind…”

My chest clenches at the mention of another man’s name, which I know is silly since I don’t really have any claim over Katy, but I force myself to get over it before I do something stupid and act like a jealous freak. That’ll put Katy off in a heart beat. Plus, I think I’m more interesting than Grant. I mean, he’s a nice enough guy but I do think I’m much better. I’m more fun, I haven’t got the same stick up my ass, and I’m sure I’m much better for Katy than he is. She needs someone like me. Someone who will bring her out of her lawyer shell, not box her further into it. I don’t see Grant as competition. I have a feeling that he might even have a girlfriend anyway so it’s fine.

“Do you want me to drive you over there? I mean, I know I can’t do much but I can wait outside for you…” I try to gauge her reaction but her stoic face gives away absolutely nothing. All I can see is sheer terror in her gaze, she’s really freaking out. “We can then celebrate or whatever.”

I don’t want to say anything about the possibility of her not getting the positon because I don’t want her to consider that while she’s in such a mess. I don’t think she’ll have to worry about it anyway, I feel absolutely certain this is what she deserves. She’s clearly a kick ass lawyer who works hard. I can’t see any reason why she wouldn’t get the position.

“You would give me a ride?” she asks curiously while looking around the room. “But you really don’t have to. And I’m sure there’s stuff you have to do here…”

“No of course I’ll take you. I want to take you. I could do with some time away from the office anyway.” I grab my car keys and shake them at her. “Shall we get going now?”

Her face pales, I can almost see all the color drain from her skin. I can’t keep away from her for even a second longer. I know that we’re technically on ‘work time’ right now but she needs a hug and I’m going to give her one. All I want to do is hold her, embrace her, make her feel a little better about her nerves. As I grab Katy and I press her against my chest I feel my heart swell with pride. It feels really good to be able to do something nice for someone else. Especially Katy.

“You do know that you’ll be fine, don’t you?” I tell her reassuringly. “You are pretty much guaranteed to get the job. You deserve it more than anyone else the way you work.”

“Well Grant works hard too,” Katy mutters into my chest. “And he’s my competition.”

“Urgh, Grant,” I growl with an eye roll. “Fucking Grant, there’s no way that he’s going to beat you. You kick ass. Grant is just… he’s Grant. You’re much better.”

Katy pulls back to look at me and she laughs lightly. “You’re crazy. Your support is epic, but yeah… you’re crazy. At least I’m not freaking out anymore though, so that’s something.” She pats both my arms and steps back. “I suppose we better get going now, I don’t want to put off the inevitable. I have to face this sooner or later and I’ve been waiting for this for ages.” She sucks in a couple of deep breaths. “Let’s go. If we don’t leave now I might get back to freaking out…”

I follow her to the elevator, admiring her strength as she goes. This must be terrifying for her, it seems like she’s been working towards it for ages, and now she’s going to face that. I’m glad I can be there with her if she needs me for support. Either way, I’m going to be there for her…

***

I tap the steering wheel of my car impatiently, while glancing towards the law office again. I don’t know what the hell is going on, Katy has been in there for what feels like forever, and the anticipation is killing me. It’s actually tearing me up inside and making me feel all messy. I just want to know what life changing stuff is going on inside those four walls, and the fact that I have absolutely no control over it hurts me. It’s an actual pain in my chest.

I don’t usually care about what goes on in any other business, but today I do. I really do.

I grab my cell phone and scroll through the Internet once more, looking at my emails, my social media, random websites that don’t really tell me anything. I’m just trying to distract myself, but it’s not really working. I can’t think about anything but her. God, I wish she was by my side right now…

The next time I scan my eyes towards the building, I see the shadow of a woman coming out of the building. She’s hunched over, surrounded in sadness, and my heart absolutely bleeds for her. Everything hammers and shudders inside of me as I realize that this is Katy and she must not have gotten the job. The idiots at Harrison and Associates must have chosen Grant over her which is mind blowing. It makes me want to scream with frustration… but I won’t because this isn’t about me. This is about Katy and all I need is to be there for her.

I leap out of the car and race over to her to throw my arms around her, but before I can make any sort of contact with her, she looks up to me, her eyes swimming with tears and she whispers the words I was least expecting. “I got it.”

Well, the words aren’t shocking in themselves, they’re exactly what I thought she was going to say when I spent all that time in the car waiting for her, it’s the fact that she really doesn’t seem happy when she’s telling me those words. This is something that she’s been working towards for ages, and now she isn’t happy to get it. It doesn’t make any sense to me.

“You… you got it?” I ask her curiously. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and guide her back towards the car. “So, that’s awesome, isn’t it? That’s what you’ve wanted, am I right?”

“I don’t know,” she whispers while shaking her head. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

I don’t say anything else until she’s safely locked away in the car because it seems to me that she’s having some sort of breakdown. I don’t want to get in the middle of that while we’re out in public for everyone to see. This is something that needs to be dealt with in private so she can really process what’s just happened. She sits in her seat and straps herself in, then I pull the car out onto the road and I drive her away from the office to give her a bit of clearly much needed head space.

“I don’t know what just happened!” she explodes before I get the chance to speak again. “I can’t believe that, I just freaked.” She twists in her seat to stare at me with wild, panicked eyes. “They announced it, they told me that I’m the one going to be made a partner and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I think I might have just had a panic attack in there, in front of everyone.” I can’t see it, I can’t imagine Katy falling apart like that, she’s such a strong and confident woman. “I couldn’t breathe at all and then I told them that I would think about it.” She clasps her hand to her forehead in shock. “They offered me the job I’ve always wanted and I told them that I would think about it. I don’t think anyone has ever told a law firm that they would need to think about being made partner. Am I crazy? Have I gone insane? I just don’t know anymore.”

“Okay, breathe,” I command firstly. “I’m sure it isn’t that bad at all. I’m sure you aren’t the first person to need to think about a promotion.” I haven’t ever heard of it, but now isn’t the time to discuss that. “But… why do you think you might be struggling with this decision?” I really need to get into her head and work out her mind set before I attempt to give any advice.

“I don’t know,” she whines while her head rolls to one side. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I do want the job but at the same time I just… I don’t think I’m going to like it as much as I think I might. I think… I’ve told my best friend for years that everything will be better once I’m partner everything will be better. I’ve told myself that I’ll have much more time then and I’ll be able to get my life back… but I really don’t think that’s the case at all. I just don’t know that sticking with being a lawyer is ever going to let me have a life.”

“You’re… thinking about leaving it all behind?” That would be a shame because she’s amazing at her job, but I understand her point of view. The life of a lawyer is a lonely one.

“I don’t know because I don’t know what else I can do, you know. Being a lawyer is all I know.”

I rest one hand on her leg in what I hope is a reassuring gesture. “You just take some time and really think about it. It’s the most important decision that you’ll ever make, so take as long as you need.”

“I only have until the end of the month which is two weeks away,” she sighs deeply. “But yeah, I’ll think it all through properly. I don’t want to make a choice that I’m going to end up regretting.” She turns to face me with sadness rolling behind her eyes. “But I won’t let it affect my work for you, so you don’t ever need to worry about that.”

“Some things are more important than work,” I tell her, shocking even myself. “Whatever happens, we’ll make it work. It’s all going to be fine.”