Chapter Three – Evan

Just as I finally give up and I start gathering up my things to go home, hours after I probably could have left, the phone at my desk rings out. Ally has already left, she’s almost always out the door at five o clock on the dot, so it’s up to me to decide whether or not it’s a call I want to take. The answering machine is on, I could just take a message in the morning, but there’s something inside of me itching, unable to just let it go. Screw it, I need to know who it is.

“Hello, Evan DeBroils speaking.” I’m almost panting with desperation. “How may I help you?”

“Evan, it’s Barry.” My heart sinks as I hear my accountant’s firm tone. “I’ve been trying to reach you for days. You’ve been very difficult to speak to.”

I gulp noisily. I can’t tell him that I informed Ally that she needed to field all his calls and make excuses for why I can’t speak to him because I don’t want to face the impending truth. I know it won’t make any difference, I’m sure things will happen regardless, but by burying my head in the sand I thought I would buy myself some more time. Now, I’m stuck facing it.

I should have let it go to voice mail, I think sadly. What an idiot.

“Oh, Barry. Sorry, you know Ally. Sometimes she doesn’t realize when people are making essential calls…” Maybe I should feel guilty for sullying Ally’s name, but I don’t.

“Right, well. I do need to speak to you. Is now a good time?”

No! Make an excuse. Run away… but I know I can’t. I need to work out what I can do.

“Sure.” I fall wearily back into my office chair. “I can talk.”

“I won’t take up too much of your time, I just need to discuss the financial situation with you.” My eyes fall closed as guilt threatens to consume me whole. “As you know, things are not good. They haven’t been good for a very long time. As I tried to advise you, you expanded at a pace that was much too rapid and now you are hemorrhaging money and you don’t have to focus to start making money back because there is just too much for you. There have been threats from investors and the banks…”

“I’ll just put more of my own money into it,” I interject quickly, needing to make all these horrible thoughts stop. It’s easy to lose my confidence which often borders on arrogance, when I have this heavy reminder that I’ve failed. I knew this was coming. “This is my fault so I’ll foot the bill…”

“Quite frankly, you can’t.” Barry is firm with me. “That won’t work again. You will end up bankrupt yourself, and as well I know you cannot allow that to happen.

“Then I will restructure…” I run my hand through my hair and tug at the ends with stress. “I’ll close some of the offices, make the operations smaller, get things back to how they used to be…”

“That is coming much too late, Evan, I’m afraid that just isn’t going to work.”

A thick silence clings to the air which makes the ice-cold terror bolt through my system. I’ve seen the numbers, I knew that things weren’t good, but it’s starting to sound like Barry thinks I don’t have any options. I don’t want to hear that! I need answers and fast.

“Look, Evan.” Barry sighs. “I don’t want your firm to go to auction. I know what the stakes are for you and I also know how hard you’ve worked. The last thing anyone wants is for everything to go belly up, but you need to be realistic. Maybe it’s time you find a buyer…”

“No,” I shoot back quickly. “The company is mine. I’m not getting a buyer.”

“I know that’s your opinion, but I don’t want you to lose everything. I can’t see any investor worth his or her salt getting involved with a business that has such a poor structure. You know?”

My heart races painfully in my chest and my head starts to spin. It can’t end like this, it just can’t. I absolutely refuse to accept it. “Are there any other options?”

“I mean, you can present a case that suggests you will make things better, but you need a lawyer for that to work and I’m not sure that’s something you can afford right now…”

“I’ll do it.” A ray of hope, that’s all I need. A small ray. “I’ll sort it, don’t worry.”

“I don’t know if that’s what I would advise. You’ll need the best of the best.”

My computer is already rebooting, I’m doing this. Even if it’s a last ditch attempt then I have to try. I can’t give up, that will never be me. And if I can do this in a discrete way so no other businesses work out what’s going on, even better. I already feel happier knowing that I’m trying.

“Yeah, thanks, Barry.” I’m already pulling the phone away from my ear, distracted. “Bye!”

I slam the phone back down and I flick through the Internet at the speed of light. I’ve used various law companies during my time as a business man but there’s only one that I remember really impressing me. Harrison and Associates. I had a young lad representing me then and he did an incredible job. I think they’re the only company I would trust with this.

Once I find the number I put in the call without even considering the time. It’s nearly seven PM, so there’s a chance that I won’t get a response, but any law firm worth anything tends to work through the night. I’m sure Harrison and Associates counts in that.

“Hello, Harrison and Associates, Deborah speaking.” She sounds professional, not exhausted. She must be a secretary. I’m impressed! Deborah isn’t out the door at five! “How may I help you?”

“My name is Evan Debroils,” I begin. “I have used your law firm in the past…”

“Ah yes,” she replies warmly. “I remember. I spoke with you a lot then.”

I feel horrible that I can’t remember, but that’s because I’m usually pushing forwards, never pausing to stop in the present to consider the past. Maybe that’s what got me in such a mess in the first place.

“You worked with Grant then, didn’t you? Back when he first started at the firm.”

“Ah yes, Grant. Can I speak to him?” It sounds like he’s still there, which is perfect.

“He’s actually with another client at the moment.” Of course, he is. Busy as always! This is the sort of thing that makes him the best, his dedication. “But if you give me some details about what you want, then I will pass the message on and get him to call you back at his earliest convenience.”

“Ah right.” I feel nervous. I don’t know if I want to share such details about my current situation with Deborah, but I suppose I have to. There’s a high level of confidentiality anyway, so I really shouldn’t worry. I just don’t like it, it hurts my pride. “Okay, well here it is…”

***

A long hour passes before I get off the phone, but after the call I feel much better. Deborah has reassured me that Grant will speak with me soon so I know where I stand when it comes to him. She was kind as well, I didn’t sense even a moment of judgement in her tone which is what I need right now. Once I have finally ended the call, I rub my eyes and let out a deep sigh of relief.

“Right,” I mutter to myself. “Time to go.”

Just before I leave, I find myself drawn to the photo of my parents that I can stand to look at. Since I lost them three years ago, maybe I should be more over it now, but I’m not at all. The senseless, needless way they were stripped from the world still crushes me painfully every single day. I grab the photo off the shelf and I run my finger idly along my mother’s face. She has dark hair, just like mine, and a bright, beaming smile. I recognize a lot of myself in her, which only makes me miss her even more. My mother was warm, kind hearted, and would do anything for anyone. There’s no reason at all her wonderful soul should have been taken from this Earth.

Then there’s my dad. I don’t look much like him, aside from the green eyes and tall stature, but I get my fierce ambition from him. That’s why all of this failure hits harder and why I definitely can’t take the easy way out and get a buyer. I inherited this business from him, before then I was merely an employee, and I need to make it a success. When I got it from him, it was a low level start up tech company and I made it explode. Of course, as Barry said, I pushed too hard and I expanded too quickly, but that’s all come from a good place. I just want to make this work for him. I want him to see that I’m worthwhile. Maybe that’s why I’m such a control freak about it. There’s been so much happening in my life that I’ve had no power over. This I need to control.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” I mutter to the picture. “I didn’t mean to make such an epic fuck up of things. That was never my intention. I just want to make Debroils Enterprises a name that means something, you know?” I sigh loudly, knowing that I probably sound like a crazy person right now. “That’s why I’m doing everything that I can to keep it. I won’t give up. Never ever!”

He stares lifelessly back at me from the picture frame, like a constant reminder that he’s gone. If he was here with me, I just know that he’d give me the absolute best advice that I could ever want. He would know the answer much better than me. That’s probably why he kept it small because he was wiser than me, he could always see the much bigger picture that however hard I try, I just can’t. But he isn’t here. He’s gone, and I’m in a mess of my own making. The only person that can get me out of this is me. And Grant. Good old Grant, get me out through this mess.

Just before I make another move to go home, I pull out a bottle of Brandy that I keep stored in the locked drawer at the bottom of my desk for emergencies just like this one. There’s a small tumbler in there as well so I can only pour myself a small measure. I don’t want to ever get wild at work. That’s the last thing this company needs. Once poured, I spin in my chair to look over the city as I take a big swig of the cool, delicious liquid that warms me up as it slides down my throat.

I can’t lose all of this, it just isn’t possible. I can’t let go of the last thing my father left for me. I know that Barry understands and I can also see that he only has my best interests at heart, but this is something I need to do. I have to keep fighting, right up until the very last moment. I’ll throw my heart and soul into it, I’ll give it all I’ve got, I’ll be willing and open to change, I’ll even stop being a stubborn control freak and I’ll listen. Whatever Grant tells me, that’s what I’ll do. I have to. For Mom, for Dad, for their legacy and for myself too.