I don’t want to be here. This damn party is dragging I texted Dani, but she’s not answering. I was really hoping she’d show up tonight. It kind of pisses me off that she’s not willing to be here. I look around the party and Nicole is sitting in Dragon’s lap, Nikki is sitting in Freak’s, Hawk and some of the other boys have Twinkies. Frog is talking to some blonde, I can’t remember seeing around here before. Bull has Bambi in his lap, and you can tell they’re not far off from finding a room. Shit, everyone is paired off but me. Trouble is, I don’t want what is here for the taking. The past few weeks with Dani have been the best in my life. I want more of it—more of her. I can’t force her though, and I sure as hell ain’t going to chase a bitch to give her my dick.

I’m being a jerk. Truth is, I’m two small steps away from being drunk. Today was fucked up. We ended a life today. We ended the life of a brother today. Yes, the brother was a traitor, he fucked us over. Yes, he was a waste of air, but still a party for any reason seems the wrong thing to do tonight. I keep remembering his eyes when he told us to go fuck ourselves. Eyes of a man I fought alongside of for years, eyes of a man I thought of as blood…hating and mocking me—all of us. That’s bitter shit. So, the fact that Dani isn’t here, is just icing on top of the fucking cake.

I take another swig and sigh heavily. Fuck it, I should just get out of here. Hop on my bike and head out somewhere, maybe find some strange…

“What’s up, Bro? You doing okay after today?” Gunner interrupts my thoughts, as he sits down at my table.

“Fucked up day,” I answer taking another drink—this time emptying the glass, save for the ice, which is a waste of space, but for some reason, Nailer thinks I drink on the rocks. I’ve never corrected him. Shit. I feel like I’m on the rocks, so I guess it fits.

“Amen,” Gunner says, looking out over the crew. “All the brothers seem to be getting their dick sewn up. I guess you’ll be next.”

“Don’t see that happening,” I answer honestly. I mean, I can’t even get her to come here to the party. I guess I was taking whatever this is between us to mean more than it did. I feel like a damned pussy. Shit, I’m acting like one.

“Really? You and that Dani chick seem pretty fucking tight. You’re there every night.”

The man is starting to piss me off. Nosey-ass fucker.

“It’s a job. I’m there until Dragon calls me off it,” I lie. Dragon told me I could come back to the club after Irish was questioned the second time. I’m there because I want to be.

“Damn though man, it’s been a month, and well after today the shit is finished. I mean, hell you’re there all the time. No down time, that’s kind of shitty. Plus, that’s a long time to go without pussy—especially for you, and I know you ain’t getting shit from the Ice Maiden.

There’s that fucking nickname again. Some people are just fuckin’ clueless. There’s not a damn thing cold about Dani. I love everything about that woman…except for the fucking fact she doesn’t want anything from me but my dick.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t getting laid,” I answer and wish I could take the words back. I’m holding another glass of whiskey, that I don’t even remember pouring, watching the amber liquid swirl around. Yeah, I’m pretty fucking drunk, there’s no two steps away from it now.

“Fuck! You made it in with the Ice Maiden? Damn, you are the King of Pussy. I bow to you, man. I didn’t think they’d make a dick around here she’d look at. Though, I guess threesomes are her thing if you go by that night at the movies, and we all know that’s your specialty.”

Specialty? He makes me sound like a damned porn star. Worse, I don’t want to be reminded of that night. I don’t want to remember that she chose to leave that night with another man…fuck two men, when I asked her not too. Hell, I really have been deluding myself. What the fuck have I been thinking? She even told me she was just using me for my dick. I finish the rest of my new drink in one long swallow.

“You need to share man! Hook a brother up. I don’t care to tag team her. Hell, I’d love to tap that. Damn, I’d love to have her mouth wrapped around my cock.”

His words, just twenty minutes before, would have got his ass knocked out. Hell, I would have done it even ten minutes before. Now? Now, I remember she’s not here. I remember that she asked to use my cock, and my cock only. I remember she chose that bastard in Skull’s crew over me, and finally, I remember I’m speaking out of my ass, that she won’t suck my damned cock. So, what I say next is pure bullshit, and I don’t mean a bit of it. I shouldn’t even say it—but I do.

“Yeah, she’s good. Sucks me like I’m a Popsicle on an Arizona summer day. Best head I’ve ever had.”

“Hell, I knew it. She likes threesomes, you need to let me join you guys sometimes. Freak is out of commission now. You need a new partner.”

I want to laugh. He knows shit about Nikki and Freak. I shrug. “Sure, I’m about finished with her. You know me, got to have variety. I’ll ask her about it before I move on though.”

The lie hurts me to say. It lays flat in my stomach and feels like led.

“Fuckin’ A! I’m about to go party with Lips, want to join in?”

“Nah man, I’m about partied out. Think I’m gonna crash in my old room tonight.”

“Want me to send you a Twinkie?”

“Nah, Dani wore my ass out before the party. I’m good.”

He slaps me on the back and leaves. I stare at the empty glass, sliding it back and forth between my hands, listening to the sound of it scraping on the table, and the ice rattling inside. I can hear it even over the noise in the room. Perhaps it was that, or the fact I am drunk, or hell maybe even a mixture of both that make it so I don’t hear Dani. I can’t really say.

“Hey lover,” she purrs from behind me, her breath hitting my neck, her voice sweet in my ear.

At first I think I’m dreaming, like I’ve conjured her up in my imagination, and I’m so damn drunk, I just think she’s here. Then I feel her hand slide down my chest. I lean back against her letting my hand go up around her neck, and pull her down to me. I bury my face in the side of her neck and breathe her in. Fuck. She’s here. I want to yell at the top of my lungs. Fuck yeah, this means I’m getting to her.

“I missed you, Hellcat,” I tell her, and goddamn it’s true. I’ve never missed a woman before in my life, well, this one and Melly.

“I heard. You want to party with Guns, Cowboy?”

Oh fuck! Hell no! I don’t want to party with Gunner! Shit, did she hear that and want it? Is that what this is about? I’m not down. Fuck, no. Not Dani. She. Is. Mine.

“Not tonight, sweetheart,” I growl. Not ever, I add silently.

“No?” she asks me, biting on my neck while her hands go down to my pants working on the zipper and button. Holy shit, does she mean to fuck me here in the club, with the party going on? I mean, okay it happens with Twinkies, but I never thought Dani would be into that. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but I’m getting hard at the thought. Still, I don’t want my brothers seeing me fuck my woman. She’s not some Twinkie or a hanger-on, and she sure isn’t a whore to be used and forgotten.

“Hellcat, let’s move this into my room, or better yet, we can go home…”

She bites my neck again and it’s harder than normal, but the sting of pain feels good.

“But Zander, I want to suck you. I want to suck you hard. Don’t you want that?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, you know I do but…” I stop as she moves around to the side of me. She’s undone my pants now, and my cock is hard. The head stands at attention, begging her for more. Oh fuck, I guess we’re going to do this. I’m not about to pass this up. Still, I try one more time before she has a chance to get down on her knees. “We should save this for a few minutes,” I whisper, though it can be heard because the room is dead silent now. “We can take it to my room Hellcat, so I can thank you properly.”

“But Zander, I’m on fire for you. I need to suck you…hard,” she says, one hand squeezing my cock and the other strokes it.

“You are? Even with everyone watching, sweetheart? If you’re okay with it then suck me, I’m dying for those full red lips.”

“I’m more than okay with this, Cowboy. I’m too hot to wait. Don’t you ever get so horny you have to have it? So hot, you feel like you’re on fire, Zander?”

“Fuck. You got me there now, Hellcat,” I answer, because she’s stroking me so firmly and its fucking hot having others watch her pleasure me. Hell, my balls are heated up and ready to blow. This is going to be over almost as soon as she sucks me into that damned mouth.

“Really, Zander? Are you hot?”

“On fire,” I growl. “Get down here and let me feel that damned mouth.”

“Will that cool you down, Cowboy?” she asks, leaning down into my ear. My eyes go to her breasts, her cleavage on display, and I know I’m going to titty-fuck her tonight too.

“Yeah…” I’m already lost, imagining my cock thrusting between those breasts and spraying cum all over her face.

“Are you hot as a summer day in Arizona, Zander?” she asks, and I pull my eyes away from her breasts to look at her. Her voice sounds different this time. My head is foggy and there’s something…not quite right.

“You got me on fire for you Hellcat, you know that.”

“Good, then I think I should cool you down,” she says.

I smile. Finally.

Then I feel cold all over my cock and look down to see she’s poured the ice from my glass in my lap—all over my exposed dick.

“Well, damn! Look there! I cooled you down too much, because it seems you have a case of whiskey dick, Cowboy,” she says, and then pours the rest of the bottle of whiskey on me.

I jump up as she empties the last of the bottle on my dick. I’m busy trying to get the ice out from around my balls and abused rod, all while cussing. I really should have been paying more attention, because then I would have noticed she’s holding a rather large, black, overnight bag in one hand. She swings it hard at me. It slams me in the face, and I fall to the floor. My head smashes against the wood flooring and it’s a damn good hit, because that, combined with the alcohol I’ve consumed, almost blacks me out. The world goes gray, but I manage to hold on when I hear her yell to Nicole.

“Nic? I’m going to go spend some time with Ray and Paul. Call me if you need me.”

Then she takes the empty bottle of Jack and throws it hard against my alcohol-drenched cock.

“Since you’re getting bored, Crusher,” she says sneering my club name, “Move your fucking shit out of my house while I’m gone.”

With that she stomps out, and even in my drunken misery, I have to say she looks fucking phenomenal. In the same thought, I realize I’ve lost any chance I ever had with her. Fuck.