Fuck! I didn’t see this becoming a problem. I just assumed she knew about the Savage Brothers. I figured she knew what it meant. I already have two strikes against me with this woman. Will this be the fucking third? I’m scrambling, racking my brain, trying to figure out how to approach this.

“I live in a different world than you, Skye,” I start vague, because I’m not diving into what we do exactly. I can’t. Hell, no member tells his old lady the specifics in the first place, and in the second, as much as it kills me, I can’t trust Skye with information about the brothers right now.

“I’m starting to see that,” she says, and I nearly groan at this latest road block I have with Skye.

“I know you don’t have experience with the club world, but still you must have heard something about the Savage Brothers since moving here. Or hell, at least heard about motorcycle clubs enough to know the basics.”

“Not really. It’s never been a life I’ve had a lot of interest in. Though, something Melissa mentioned does stick in my mind. She said that I didn’t know how to satisfy you, that as club members…her and the other girls…”

“That bitch is not a member of the club, Skye. She’s definitely not one of the girls the club keeps.”

“Keeps?” she asks, and I’m not sure what to make of her tone.

Again, I don’t really want to get into any of it. I could kill Melissa. Hell, Dragon might. Right now, I need to worry about Skye. I don’t need to give her any other reasons to say no to me. I decide to tackle the thing that worries her the most right now.

“You’re worried about how many women I’ve had sex with, but it’s not exactly that many. It’s just…”

“You’re a man-whore?” she adds helpfully.

“The club keeps women, we take care of them—they take care of us. Mutual benefits I guess.”

She tenses up and fuck me, I wish I could take the words back.

“Take care? You mean you keep women just for sex? Like those BDSM clubs?”

I shake my head. Jesus. This shouldn’t be so hard. Did Dragon or Crusher have these problems? Hell, I don’t think Dance has clued Carrie into everything. Maybe I should have followed his lead?

“No, I mean they like our lifestyle. They work at the club, they entertain the men, keep us happy. Don’t get that look, Doc. The women want this life. They enjoy it. We live a hard life and hell, Skye… It’s just the way it is.”

Why does that sound so lame to my ears? I’m making a fucking mess of this.

“So, you keep prostitutes?”

“They’re not prostitutes, Skye.”

“They give you sex in exchange for a home, food, and money?”

“If you want to think of it like that, I guess you could. But that’s not what it’s about.”

“Whatever. So, you have club prostitutes and you go around and have unprotected sex with them anytime you want. Got it,” she says, and starts to pull away.

I hold onto her with a sigh. I can’t let her go.

“It’s not the way you’re making it sound, not really. And there are members of the club that have old ladies. Dragon is married now.”

“Old ladies?”

“Girlfriends—wives.”

“And how do these women feel about the club prostitutes?”

“They’re called Twinkies.”

“Excuse me?”

“Twinkies, that’s what we call them.”

“Delightful. So, you name your prostitutes after snack cakes.”

“Skye.” Fuck. I’m an idiot. Why did I decide to talk about this again?

“I think I’m about talked out, Bull. Maybe we could pick this up some other night,” she says, and I let her go this time, because maybe she’s right.

“Okay, Doc. When? I could come over tomorrow and…”

“How about half past never?” she says, getting up and walking towards the door.

I rub the back of my neck, because I’ve had pain there all day, but the thought of leaving here and letting Skye get away, not only increases my tension, it ramps up the headache. Listening to her describe my lifestyle causes a war inside of me. On one hand, I’m pissed off that she can’t appreciate the family I have, and on the other, I’m ashamed of the way she makes it sound. It’s not that way…not really…I just don’t know how to make her understand.

“Doc, I’m not explaining this really well. How about I take you to the club tomorrow evening when you get off work? You can meet Dragon, Nicole, and some of the other members. If, after you see how they are with each other, you don’t like my lifestyle? I’ll walk away. I won’t push you.”

It hurts to say that, but it’s true. I want Skye, but I can’t give up my family. I need her to see what I do when I look at the club. Good people. Caring people. A family.

She stops and sighs, then asks me a question that I had somehow forgot we were discussing.

“Even if I do like your lifestyle, and let me warn you Bull, that’s like a huge ‘what if.’ But even if I do, that still doesn’t help us figure out where we go from here. You’re a recovering…”

I don’t want to hear her call me an addict. I can’t. I can’t hear those words from her lips. So, I kiss her before the words can escape. Before she can deny me further, I take two large steps, and I’m there. Then, my lips are on hers, my tongue is in her mouth, her taste is inside me, my arms are full of her, and her hands are holding me. That’s all I want to concentrate on. My hands latch onto her sweet round ass, kneading it, and pulling her into me. She’s stiff, but still I take over her mouth, my tongue savors her, and I am lost in her. She softens, her hands go around me, and her nails bite into my back.

It’s a good kiss. A fucking good kiss. And when she moves restlessly against me, I break away to let my lungs take in air. Her face is flushed, and her lips are swollen. I didn’t shave this morning, and the stubble from my face has scratched her, and I like it. A hell of a lot.

“If you like my club woman, all bets are off.”

“Bull, everything I know about addiction says you shouldn’t even think of starting a relationship for at least a year. Especially while you are in recovery.”

“I’m not waiting a fucking year to have you, Doc.”

“Bull…”

I grab her hair, wrapping my fist in it, tightening my hold, so she can see how serious I am.

“I am not waiting a fucking year to have you, Skye. Woman, today was one of the best days of my life.”

“Mine too,” she says, simply.

“Then you have to know that I am not giving you up. I can do this Skye. Trust me. C’mon Doc, sometimes you have to live a little.” She studies me, but doesn’t respond. “Take a chance on me, Doc. I won’t let you regret it.”

I have never felt such relief in my life as I do when she nods yes. Then, I slam my lips back onto hers and kiss her until we both forget our names.

I pray I can just get her to see my club like I see it. Hell, I can’t remember praying, but I pray all of the way home. I need for Skye to give us a chance. I can’t imagine living my life without her or my brothers. I just hope like hell it doesn’t come to that.