“Odd, but I thought friends invited friends over to their houses,” I tell Bull when I open the door. This is the one-month anniversary of our friendship. Each week, I’ve seen him at least twice and sometimes more. We usually eat lunch, or he will show up after I work a double shift and walk me to my car. I asked him how he seemed to know my schedule so well, and he just shrugged. I’m thinking I should start to call him stalker instead of friend, except I like having him around. Besides, the note I got in my locker today, says the stalker position has been filled. Today, the note asked me if I liked roses. I wanted to scream no, and I hate notes from people I don’t know.

Bull has been true to his word, and we’ve just been friends. I’m woman enough to admit that it bothers me that he seems to have accepted being my friend so easily. I mean, what woman wants a sexy man, to just accept being her friend without arguing about it? He’s looking just as good right now, just like he always does. He is wearing his leather cut, and a baby blue t-shirt that looks well-worn and soft. I resist the urge to reach out and touch it. Barely.

“Aw, but friends show up to cheer up other friends unannounced.”

I lean back against the doorframe and ask, even though I’m scared of what kind of answer he’ll come up with. “And why do I need cheering up?”

“You told me Matty was going to Ohio for a school trip, and then staying the night with a friend.”

“Yeah?” I ask, not making a connection.

“Doc, are you saying you don’t miss your boy when he’s not here? That you don’t notice how quiet the house is? Or that you forget to eat, because it’s no fun eating by yourself?”

“You do realize this is a Friday night?”

“Yeah?”

“Shouldn’t you be out, bopping some bimbo and making more mistakes, as you like to say?”

He steps closer—to the point that I can feel his breath on my skin, and I try not to react, that is no easy feat. The more time I spend with him, the more attracted I am.

“Doc, no one says bopping anymore. Hell, I’m not sure they ever did say bopping.”

“They do when they have a nine-year-old in the house.”

“Whatever. I keep telling you I’m a reformed man. Maybe someday you’ll believe it. Are you going to invite me in?”

“Will you leave if I don’t?”

“Do you want me to?”

I sigh, defeated. This is a familiar game, and I’m pretty sure he has me figured out.

“Come on in. I was just getting ready to order a pizza.”

“Already done, the delivery guy should be here any time.”

“Umm…you don’t know what I like on pizza.”

He shrugs. “I ordered one with cheese and one with everything. I figure you could pick off what you don’t want, or eat the plain cheese one.

“You do know you’re crazy,” I tell him, because at this point I’m at a loss.

“No. I just saw something I wanted a little over four months ago, and I’m working towards that goal. Besides, I wanted to talk with you.”

At first his words don’t click and then they do. It feels like I’m sucker punched. I don’t know what to say for a minute. Maybe I misunderstood him?

“Something you wanted? I thought we were going for friendship?”

“And we have, Doc. But eventually, I’m going to ask for more from you, and when I do, you’ll give it to me.”

His words alternate between pissing me off and scaring the hell out of me.

“I think you should go.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I’m not leaving. We’re going to sit down and watch a movie, eat some pizza, and then make out a little. Isn’t that what you do on dates?”

“We’re not dating!” I growl at him. Terrified now, because I really want to make out with him.

“Doc. C’mon now. We’ve had lunch too many times to count. I see you practically every evening you work late. I’m pretty sure that qualifies as dating, even if I haven’t done it before.”

“I can’t date you!”

“Why the fuck not?”

“You’re a man-whore!”

“Again. Let’s repeat it together. A reformed one. I’ll have you know, my dick has been nowhere since the moment I saw you. Well, except my hand. But hey, even then it was with visions of you in my head,” he says, so casually. Like what he said didn’t just rock my world. He’s leaning on the doorframe, looking so calm and collected, and inside, I’m scared to death.

“You could have HIV or anything! You’ve slept with the sluttiest nurse since the invention of porn movies!”

“Mistakes. But, all in the past. You have my test results. Here’s the latest batch. You’ve changed me, Doc,” he says, pulling out a folded paper from his pants pocket, but I don’t have to look. He’s been showing me each month. I thought it was to show me how much better he’s doing…Now, I can see it was for other reasons. I’m just not sure how I feel about it.

“Are you making fun of me? Do you think this is a joke?”

That must have pissed him off, because suddenly the look of ease he normally wears is gone and in its place is anger. You can feel in vibrating between us.

“No, it’s not a fucking joke, Doc. What’s a fucking joke is the woman I’m attracted to, the woman who manages to haunt my damn dreams at night—freaks out at the thought of going on a date with me!”

“You said we were friends!”

“Friends turn into lovers!”

I back away from him. I’m reacting wildly, I know. The thing is, he’s offering something I want, but have told myself I can’t have. Bull is a mistake that would be too big to recover from. He’s not safe. He’s the complete opposite of safe. I took that leap once before, and it left me knocked up and totally alone. I need to be smarter now. Matty needs me to be smarter.

“I have a kid, Bull. I can’t just decide to date someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” he asks, his voice cold.

“You have sex like other people change their clothes. A different woman every day, and you admitted sometimes two or three times a day.”

“Not since…”

“Maybe not since me, if I trust what you say. I’m not sure I can trust you though.”

“Damn it, Skye…”

“But even then,” I carry on, interrupting him. “Even then, Bull, you had so many different drugs in your system. How could I ever let someone like that around my child? Not to mention you exposed yourself to HIV and AIDS, and it can take three to six months for that stuff to show up. How could I let you in my bed, knowing I have a child who depends on me? I’m all he has, Bull. Even if I wanted to be crazy and throw caution to the wind, I can’t. I have to think of Matty, first.”

He steps back from me, and there’s a look that comes over his face. He doesn’t say anything, but I can see he’s deep in thought. There’s part of me scared. I’ve come to depend on Bull this last month. Which is crazy, because we have only been friends. What happens if he leaves and doesn’t come back? The thought of not seeing him every day or having at least some contact with him, frightens me.

“We could still be friends, Bull,” I offer, because I don’t want to let him go, even if I should.

“Woman. I don’t want to be just your friend. You haunt me. I can’t sleep at night. I have fucking callouses on my hand, because the minute my eyes close, I see your face. My goddamn dick gets so fucking hard, I have to stroke it over and over, imagining it’s you jacking me, begging for my cum. And when I come, Skye? It’s always to the vision of coming all over your fucking body, while you beg for more. But hell, even in my sleep, you still haunt me. I dream of fucking you over and over—only to wake up needing you again.”

“Bull…” I back up as his words brand me. My stomach flutters. I look into this dark eyes and seeing the way he’s watching me fills me with heat. “You said we were going to be friends…”

He closes the small distance between us. His hand slides under my hair as he cups the back of my neck. His thumb brushes the side of my face, before stopping beside the lobe of my ear and applying pressure, so I can’t move.

“Do you think of me, Doc? When you’re in bed alone, do you wonder what I’m doing? Do you want to hear my voice? When I call to tell you goodnight and we hang up, do you find your hand sliding down between your legs? Do you touch yourself and imagine it’s my touch making you come? Do you cry out my name when you climax?”

His words make my knees weak. I feel my face heat, because I do. I do all of those, even knowing I shouldn’t. I do them, thinking no one will ever know, and yet somehow, he does.

“Bull, we’re too different.” That’s what I keep telling myself, though in truth, the more time I spend with him, the less I believe it.

“I’ve been clean for four months now, Doc. I’ve proved what you thought of me is wrong. I’m going to keep proving you wrong—on every count. What I’m wondering is what you’ll come up with after that to stop this?”

“This?”

“You and me, Doc. Because, you need to fucking set your mind to it. We’re happening. You and me. And you need to mark it down, because we’re going to be kissing, making out, and fucking. It’s going to happen, and you will enjoy every damn minute of it,” he growls at me.

Then it happens. That moment I’ll never get back, but will always remember. His mouth slams down on mine. It’s an angry kiss, and I do my best to keep my lips closed, until he sucks the bottom one into his mouth. His tongue teases and tempts to the point I can’t stop my gasp, needing oxygen. He swallows the sound, his tongue forcefully moves in my mouth, and then he devours me. His kiss is unlike any I’ve ever had before. He not only explores, he owns. I can’t do anything but follow his lead, and our tongues twist and mate, tasting each other. I strain into him, pulling him down to me, even more—afraid he will leave. I never want the kiss to end. A shudder rakes through my body, and I can’t help the restless way I move against him, as moisture pools between my thighs. I need him. All the pent-up attraction I’ve kept hidden the last month is dying to be unleashed. His kiss manages to excite me in a way that no foreplay has ever managed previously. Before I explore it though, Bull pulls away.

“You said it would be six months before you could trust my test results.”

My mind is foggy, and I have no idea what he’s talking about. “What?” I ask, trying to stop the way my body trembles with need.

“Six months. It’s been four. I’m going to give you two more months to get used to this, Skye. But, I’m not backing down from us. I am kissing you and spending time with you. You need to get used to it and wrap your mind around the idea that you and I are going to happen.”

I don’t say anything, because I’m not sure what to say. The doorbell rings and neither of us move for a second. Then, he kisses my forehead, wraps his hands around my upper arms and just holds me like that.

“Get us some drinks. I’ll pay for the pizza, and we’ll watch a movie.”

“But…”

“For now, we’ll cuddle and watch television, Skye. I’m not asking for anything else.”

“Oh…okay,” I answer. I’m lost. I’m so confused, I don’t know what I want or feel.

“Tonight at least,” he tags on ominously, and my brain refuses to think about that.

I’m going to be Scarlet O’Hara for now, and think about it all tomorrow.