“You’re looking nervous, old man,” Dragon says, coming up behind me. “I’d offer you a drink…but…” I hold up my hand to stop his words. I don’t drink other than a beer here and there. I never had a problem with alcohol, but I used it as a crutch to stop the memories. When I finally got my head out of my ass and did everything I could to keep Carrie, I swore off that crap. I never looked back. I got into therapy with the help of my brothers, and I haven’t stopped, even if I don’t go as often. I thought once I ended the men behind the attack, I’d be finished with all of this. I’d be whole again. I’m starting to wonder if that’s the case.

“Just don’t want shit fucking this up,” I tell him truthfully, without adding I’m afraid I’ll mess shit up. Except for Carrie and Jazz, I haven’t had a lot of good in my life that I haven’t managed to mess up.

“You have thirty minutes before your woman gets down that aisle. Shit, you even put on a monkey suit for her. You got it made man. Relax.”

“I notice you and the boys aren’t wearing them.”

“I tried that once. Not happening again. Damn man, sit down. You’re making me nervous.”

I sit down on the old garden bench beside Dragon and he’s right. I’m letting my nerves get to me. Shit. I’m even wringing my hands like a pussy. I look out over Mom’s garden. It’s been set up for the perfect wedding. There are chairs covered in white material tied with pink bows. The silk runner is running through the aisle created by the chairs. There’s an arch that’s covered in Carrie’s favorite daisies. The wedding band has set up behind the crowd and are testing the microphones and speakers. My other brothers are standing around laughing, and Mary is in her element, making sure the reception, which is located on the far end of the yard, is perfect. There’s a giant event tent covering the tables, and even from here, I can see the wedding cake that has been delivered and set up. It’s beautiful. Everything Carrie could want, right down to a dance floor surrounded in soft lighting, for later, and streamers. I thought of everything—or at least I think I did. I just wish it was all done and Carrie was in my arms.

“I just want it done. This shit makes me nervous. You remember what happened when Freak and Nikki got married? And let’s not even talk about the mess that happened with you and Nicole.”

“Freak and Nikki still got married. Hell, he’d be here if Nikki hadn’t gone into labor.”

“I know, but—”

“But nothing. It was a snow storm and they still got married.”

“It was a snow storm in April.”

“Whatever. It didn’t stop the wedding. That’s my point. And Nic and I had a fucking amazing wedding. The other one was fucked up from the beginning and us keeping shit from each other was the reason for that whole thing.”

“Well, that and Dani’s fucked-up past,” I agree, with a sigh.

“Even that wouldn’t have mattered if Nic and I had talked. You don’t have shit to worry about man. You and Carrie don’t have secrets.”

“Except the whole damn wedding I hid from her,” I mutter, rubbing my hand against my jawline. I thought about shaving, but Carrie seems to like my beard, and today, I want to make sure she gets everything she wants.

“Yeah, except that. Jesus, relax asshole. She knows about the wedding now, and she hasn’t called it off.”

“Yeah. You’re right. I just need her here.”

“Christ, tell me you’re going to grow your balls back after this shit.”

“Fuck you,” I grumble, but can’t stop from laughing because he’s not wrong. I’m tying myself up in knots here. I look at my watch. Twenty minutes. “We could go stand with the brothers. It’s almost time.”

“Let’s go, before you piss yourself,” Dragon says, putting his drink down.

“Kiss my ass,” I mutter, standing up.

“Looks too much like your face,” he jokes, flipping me off, and as weird as it sounds, he’s somehow help set my nerves at ease. Damn bastard.