“How are you feeling?” I look up to see Nicole standing at the door.

I was hoping it was Zander. I haven’t heard from him in two days. I wanted to ask the others, but they don’t really talk to me, and I don’t want to make myself look stupid by asking for a man who might not want me anymore. He’s not even answered my texts.

“Bored,” I answer, turning my attention back to Nicole as she comes in and closes the door. “How’s Dom?”

“He’s good, really good. I was hoping we could talk for a little bit, if you’re not too tired.”

Things are stilted between me and Nicole now. She held me responsible for Dragon’s death and I understand. I hold myself responsible too. I want to fix it, but I don’t really know how. I’m hoping time manages to do it.

“Nah, I’m bored out of my mind. I’m thinking about going outside and walking a little bit. I need to feel the sunshine on my face.”

“Zander wouldn’t like you overdoing it. You’ve healed a lot, but you were in bad shape.”

“Yeah well, I haven’t heard from Zander, so I’m not sure that matters now.”

“I uh…You don’t know?” she asks, her voice sounding surprised.

“Zander is under lockdown by the club. They’re having a vote today to decide on kicking him out of the club,” she answers.

“But…he and Dragon are like brothers…that doesn’t make any sense.”

“He called Dragon out, and I guess they had to go all he-man over it. There’s protocol and rules that can’t be broken.” She says that last part imitating Dragon’s voice, and I could almost laugh, if I wasn’t so worried.

“Where is Zander?”

“How the fuck do I know? Some place called the cooler. They’re getting ready for church now though, so I imagine he’ll be there with the rest of the morons,” she answers sounding as frustrated as I’m feeling.

“I need to go there,” I tell her, already heading towards the door.

“Women aren’t allowed in church, Dani.”

“If it was Dragon being voted on, would you just sit by and wait?”

“Fuck, we’re going to church, aren’t we? If my ass gets paddled, and I can’t sit down next week, I’m coming after you bitch,” she grumbles, but when I look up she’s smiling.

“I love you Nic, I know I’m a fuck-up, and I’m trying to get better, but I love you,” I tell her, because I need her to know that.

“I got you, girl. I’m sorry too, I’ve been a bitch to you since the bomb and everything else. I shouldn’t have been. We made decisions together and you had valid reasons for trying to keep the club out of it. It’ll work out.”

Something clicks inside at her words.

“Badass Bitches for life,” I smile, repeating a forgotten motto from our school days.

“Ride or die even,” she adds and we hug. Then she lets me lean on her as we walk to our first and probably last ever, church meeting.

We get into the church room quietly. It seems too easy and when Nicole winks at me, I’m pretty sure she somehow cleared it with Hawk or one of the others first.

“Do you have nothing to say for yourself?” Dragon is asking Zander.

“Bastard had my old lady, I handled shit that needed to be done. I got Dani back, and I’d do it a fucking hundred times over. If that gets me booted from the club then what-the-fuck-ever,” Zander answers, and my heart stutters at what he just put out there in front of all of his brothers. Brothers who admittedly have warmed towards me, but for the most part view me as an outsider.

“You defied direct orders, and put the club in jeopardy. You put a woman before your brothers, and you had the fucking balls to call me out in front of others. I should strip you of club colors right here and close the fucking vote. The end.”

“She’s not a woman, she is my old lady,” he says once again, telling the world it’s me he chooses. Me. Even more than that…he sounds…proud. Do I make Zander proud? Despite my past? Despite the things Michael did to me?

“She hasn’t agreed to that shit, so that makes her a woman,” Dragon answers, and I feel ashamed, because I think back to the last conversation that Zander and I had. I should have just told him right then that he was it for me.

“Bullshit. I claim her. My woman needed me. I did nothing more or nothing less than you would’ve done,” Zander responds, and I know I can’t handle anymore. I’m his woman and it’s time I stop being afraid of what that means. If he can put me before everything and be proud of that, then I need to work harder to be the woman he deserves.

“He’s right,” I say, and I wish my voice sounded stronger. I have trouble being around crowds and a room full of angry men isn’t exactly fun times for me.

“What’s that, Hellcat?” Zander asks. He gets up, comes to me, his voice full of emotion, and love is shining in his eyes. Love…for me…It warms me. The emptiness and darkness I’ve been feeling…part of it heals with that look. Zander loves me. I’m not a substitute. I’m his.

The reality of that hits me and I stumble, but I catch myself. The last thing I want to do is fall and ruin this. I hold steady and look my man in the eyes. My man.

“I admit that I’m yours. I was yours then. I…I…” The enormity of what I’m doing here hits me. I’m giving myself to another man. I’m doing it with…joy. I look around at all the men staring at me, and I can’t tell what they’re thinking. Do they find me lacking? Do they think I’m not good enough for their brother?

“Say it, Hellcat. Say it,” Zander says, and the emotion in his voice is so thick, I push forward again.

“I’m yours Zander and I definitely claim you as mine.”

Zander kisses me on the forehead and wraps his arms around me. I hear his intake of breath and then he whispers to me, “That’s my angel.”

I can’t stop the tears that fall. I don’t even try. I’m finally in the arms of the man I was meant for all along. I’m where I belong…where I’ve always belonged.

“Go on back to our room, I’ll check on you when I’m done,” Zander tells me, and I don’t want to leave him alone to face this vote. I want to be here for him.

“But…,”

“I’m proud of you Hellcat, don’t worry. I’ll do what I need to do, and then I’ll come to you.”

I try to give him a smile and turn to leave. I’m kind of ashamed of the mess I’ve caused him. He deserves better.

“Hellcat? My woman doesn’t look down. Remember?” I stiffen my back and smile. He’s proud of me. I’m his.

“I won’t forget,” and I’m talking about more than just looking down.

“That’s my girl.”

“Just get your shit done, Zander, and quit busting my ass.”