She unmans me. Just when I think I have her figured out, Nicole does something to completely blow me out of the water.

Will I ever be prepared for her?

I’m starting to think to think the answer is no, and I’m okay with that, as long as I have her.

I watched as she calmly told the investigating detectives she had no memory of what happened.

She was hit from behind and from there it was all blank. The doctors could only confirm she had suffered a concussion and amnesia can occur after a traumatic injury. I just shook my head, but inside… Fuck…

Inside, I still feel raw. She took a bullet for me. I don’t know how to process that.

She took a bullet to save me. She almost died, saving something like… me.

Nicole is completely cemented inside of me now. She had been before, but now with every day that passes, I am completely and irrevocably wrapped up in her. She owns me. I don’t want to breathe without her by my side.

It’s not just me, either. My men have completely adopted Nic as one of our own. Maybe it’s because she was hurt by Irish? Maybe it’s the way she took two bullets to save me? Maybe it was the way she put her life on the line to protect me and to cover for the club? Maybe they are just as dazzled by her as I am.

I can’t explain it, but it’s just another reason in a million of them as to why she is the one for me. I may not deserve her, but I’m never letting her go. I’ve never been particularly lucky in life, but that day in London outside of the gas station, I won the motherfucking lottery.

I smile as I see her in action now. It’s her first night home and the club is partying. Even the Twinkies are on their best behavior. Nicole cemented her place in this club by taking on Tash. Tash is in the corner talking with a couple of the prospects, avoiding my woman at all costs. She has more brains than I gave her credit for.

Nicole is at the bar talking to the new prospect, Six. I don’t know the kid all that well yet, but he has promise. We hired him in as a bartender to take that fucker Irish’s place.

Crusher passes a drink to my woman. She takes it, walks over to me with a sassy grin, and I pull her onto my lap.

“What are you drinking baby?” I ask figuring her, Crusher and Six are all up to something since every last one of them have shit eating grins on their faces.

“It’s a new drink Six fixed for me,” she says, looking back sideways at me and kissing me lightly on the lips. She turns back around and takes another sip of her drink. My fingers comb through her hair, my other hand on her thigh. This is the best I’ve felt in nearly a month. That’s how long Nicole was in the hospital away from me. Three long fucking torturous weeks, and finally she’s home in my arms—where she belongs.

Her girl Dani is back in the kitchen. She’s not adjusting very well at all to living at the club. I’m not sure what her story is, but since the scene at the house, she’s a different woman, showing none of the fire or life she had earlier. I know Nicole is worried about her, but Dani refuses to talk to her.

“Did you hear me?” she asks.

“Sorry Mama was busy enjoying having you in my arms again.” She leans back against me with a happy sigh. “What’d you say?”

“I wanted to know if you were curious as to what my new drink is called.”

“Okay Mama, I’ll bite.”

“I hope so,” she purrs. I shake my head and slap her gently on the thigh.

“Behave woman, you know what the doctor said.”

“That doctor is an agent of the devil. No sex for two weeks? I’ll grow cobwebs! Dragon did you get a look at the old geezer? He probably hasn’t ever had good sex in his life! He obviously doesn’t realize sex releases endorphins that boost your immune system.”

“Is that a fact?”

“Totally! Sex can speed up the healing process by over one hundred and twenty per cent.”

“I see you’ve been doing your research.”

“I totally have.”

“Too bad.”

“It is?” she asks, confused.

I lean in close to whisper in her ear. “Yeah Mama, because I’m not giving you my cock until I’m sure you’re completely healed.”

“You suck.”

“I thought you liked it when I sucked on you,” I said, kissing the back of her neck.

“Hey there’s an idea.”

“What’s that Mama?” I ask, holding her and just breathing in her scent.

She turns to the side, looks at me, and right away I can see I’m in trouble.

“I could suck you off and let you come down my throat! That way even if I can’t come, I can still taste you.”

Fuck, she’s trying to kill me, or make me come in my pants.

Hell, maybe both.

“Not going to happen Mama. I’m not getting off until I can make sure you do too.”

“Meanie,” she says, sticking her bottom lip out in a pout.

“Now what are you drinking?” I’m trying to get my raging hard-on back under control. It’s going to be a long month. I haven’t told Nicole, but even though the Doctor said she could have sex after two weeks, I’m not going to touch her for at least a month. I will not put her life in jeopardy. It already bothers me that because of my failure to protect her, she’s walking around with only one kidney. If something were to happen to it... to her...

“Crusher said it was a drink made especially for me,” she says, proudly finishing it off with a smack of her lips.

“And why is that Mama?” I ask intrigued now.

“It’s called, Dragon’s Balls!” she says, with a sparkle in those damn blue eyes. I look up at Crusher and Six who are laughing their asses off, obviously aware she’s told me their game. I flip them off and then shift her gently, picking her up and taking her back to our room.

“Did I mention you have a tendency to pick me up and carry me a lot?”

“I seem to recall that.”

“Just checking,” she says, resting her head on my shoulder.

I stand her in front of our bed and go back to lock our door.

“God, I’m glad you’re home.”

“What has happened to my gruff Dragon?” she asks, watching as I begin undressing her. I unbutton her shirt first, my eyes holding hers.

“You saved him,” I answer, pulling her shirt from her arms and tossing it on the floor.

“I think he saved me.”

“He was the idiot who let you get hurt,” I tell her honestly, and wait while she kicks her shoes off and I do the same.

“He came and saved me,” she argues. I pull her jogging pants and underwear down gently, knowing she’s still sore from the surgery. I turn her around and kiss her back while I unhook her bra.

Once I have it unhooked, I lean down and kiss the scar from her surgery. It is longer than it should be, because of the severe damage. Then, I kiss the bullet wound off to the side of the incision. Finally, I kiss the bullet wound on her thigh.

“Is it ugly Dragon?” she asks, her voice trembling.

I gently lay her on the bed and then climb in beside her, pulling the covers up over us.

She holds me close, her head on my chest and this might be the first time I’ve breathed easily since she was hurt.

“It’s beautiful. Mama. Everything about you is beautiful to me.”

“It’s a horrendous scar, they both are Dragon! There’s no way it can be beautiful.”

“It is to me. It’s proof to me that somehow despite everything, you’ve found a way to love my fucked up ass.”

“I love everything about you.”

“I’ve got scars, inside and out Mama. Do they make you care about me any less?”

“No way!”

“You heard the kind of filth I was born from, the kind of person I am. How I got my damn name. Does that change the way you feel about me?”

“No. I love your name. I’ve been to Detroit you know. Do you know what I’ve always found amazing?”

“What’s that Mama?” I ask, my hands finding her hair again and twirling it around my fingers.

“People only see the broken, sad parts of Detroit, but if you look closer? If you take the time to investigate and see everything it has to offer, the truth is, it is an amazing and beautiful city. So I think the name fits you perfectly.”

Fuck.

She’s done it again. I have so many emotions welling up inside of me that I’m not sure I’ll be able to choke them back down.

“Do you love me, Dragon?” she asks and she sounds so insecure. I want to give her what she’s searching for, but I don’t know how to answer that.

“I don’t know what love is, Nicole.”

“Oh,” she says quietly into the empty room. I can hear the disappointment in her voice and it makes me feel like shit. I don’t want to lie, but I honestly don’t know what that shit is.

“Fuck baby. Don’t you get it? Have you watched stone break and shatter with the ring of a sledgehammer? Pieces just bust into so many different size chunks that you know you’ll never get them back together? I’m like a goddamned tombstone that has been broken into so many fucking pieces… Hell, some have turned into dust. I’ve never been scared before in my life, but you scare me. You break me woman, you fucking break me apart. I failed to keep you safe and I can’t let that shit happen again. So, I ask myself how the fuck do I keep you safe when you leave me so damned defenseless.” “That sounds a little bit like love to me,” she responds, so damned hopeful that another layer of ice, I keep wrapped around me, falls away.

“Mama, how am I supposed to say I love you? I don’t know what that is. Hell mama, I crave you. I fucking need you so bad I can’t breathe unless you’re close by. If that’s love then fucking sign me up, because that’s how I feel. I’m only here as long as you’re with me. I can’t make it any other way. God baby girl... I need you with me,” I answer her, telling her everything. I close my eyes, trying to still the pain I feel, praying I didn’t hurt her further.

I feel moisture falling onto my chest and look down to see my woman wiping her eyes. Shit, I made it worse.

“Mama, I’m sorry...”

“I love you so much Dragon, everything about you is perfect for me.”

I swallow down more words. I’m longing to open up to her, but I can’t. I know that’s not fair to Nicole, but I need to regroup.

“Go to sleep Mama. It’s been a busy day for you. Me and the boys need to go take care of some things tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry Dragon. I know how much it hurts you and even if you don’t want to talk about it, I know what you’re doing.”

“Nicole, don’t ask me to change. The club has a code and I live by that code. I love you, but if I let one fucker get away with shit like this, then a mountain of...”

“I’m not asking for anything Dragon, I’m not stupid. I’m just asking that you don’t lie to me about things or keep them from me. This is who you are, and I’ve seen it up close—even if you never wanted me to—and I’m still here.”

“I can’t always share what’s going on with you Nicole and that’s as much for your safety as anything else.”

“When I ask, you will tell me what you can.”

I swallow, wondering if this will bite me in the fucking ass.

“I’ll try.”

“Good enough.”

“Are you done busting my balls now? Can we go to sleep?”

“Since you won’t give me cock, I guess we might as well.”

“God I had no idea what I was in for when I claimed you,” I whisper with a smile, kissing the top of her head.

“Night sweetheart,” she murmurs.

I lay there listening as her breathing evens out and she drifts to sleep.