I can’t believe this is happening. I mean, I’m glad it’s happening. I’ve been dying for it to happen. This last week has been driving me crazy. I knew instantly what he had planned tonight and I couldn’t handle it. I can’t be around him now, if he slept with other women. It might have been saner to leave. I know that. I just keep remembering my talk with Nicole. I keep seeing the hopelessness in Jacob’s eyes and I need to keep pushing forward. Maybe eventually I will give up, I just know I can’t right now.

I turn to fully face him with a deep, calming breath.

Yeah, that didn’t work.

“Drop your arms. I want to see you.”

Drop your arms he says, like that’s so easy. I swear if my heart beats any faster I will probably have a stroke. I’ll keel over and stroke out and be naked when the freaking paramedics get here.

“Princess?” Jacob asks again and I close my eyes, but manage to slowly remove my arms.

I’m standing in front of Jacob Blake wearing nothing but a pair of panties. They’re not even sexy panties. They’re boy-cut green satin at least and there is lace—not a lot, but a passable amount. That’s good, right? I mean they could be granny panties and I would die a horrible death.

“Damn. Care Bear, you’re gorgeous,” Jacob says. I can feel his breath so I know he has moved closer while my eyes are closed.

I smile at the use of my favorite nickname. I don’t think he realizes when he uses it. It seems to be when his guard is down the most and it always gives me hope.

I jump when he palms one of my breasts. His touch feels heavenly. I feel him do the other breast in the same fashion. His thumbs rake over the skin, skirting close to my areola, but not quite touching it. Just that alone sends chills up my body.

I’ve made out with a few boys before, but nothing has ever felt this fantastic. I knew it would be different with Jacob. I knew in my heart that he was the man I was supposed to give my virginity to. This here. This feeling, these emotions…this is why I waited to have my V-card punched.

I open my eyes just as Jacob’s head goes down and he kisses my breast. He’s so close to my heart. Can he feel how hard and fast it is beating? I’m afraid to breathe, afraid to do anything that might stop him.

My hands come up without thought. One rests on his shoulder, with the other, I dig my fingers into his hair. The short strands tease my fingers. I wish he’d let it grow out longer. I could fast become addicted to the feel of it and….

His tongue slides along my nipple and I can’t stop the whimper that escapes. His tongue is warm….wet…. an instrument of torture. He licks, twirling his tongue around it. My breasts aren’t large, but they’re not horribly small so I’ve never thought about it. I always worried though because my nipples seemed overly large. So, when I feel how amazing it is to have Jacob’s tongue on them…I send up a thank you. Large nipples are awesome, I…

“Yes,” I whisper.

The word slips out as he begins sucking my nipple so hard that the heels of my feet pull off the floor. I can’t help it I have to follow, to get closer. At the same time, he pinches the other nipple with his fingers and my head goes back on a gasp. Can you come from breast play alone? I hear Jacob’s grunt of approval as I tighten my fingers in his hair and pull him harder into my body, wanting more. To reward my eagerness he bites down on the nipple and flicks his tongue over it simultaneously.

“Yes…Jacob…that feels so good,” I moan as both of my hands push his head closer to me, demanding he not stop. I never want him to stop.

He switches breasts now, devouring the other one and my legs are starting to grow weak. You think you know. You research, you study, you ask your girlfriends (Okay at least I did) and you think you know what to expect, what sex will be like and you think you are prepared. I had no clue. No clue at all, there’s no way to describe this.

All at once, I’m moving. I’m moving fast, because Jacob is pushing us in the direction of the wall. We were at the bed, that makes more sense to me, but I don’t have time to question it. My back connects with the wall and I hear the ripping noise echo in the room over our breathing. Cool air hits me as my panties are torn away. Jacob looks at me and his eyes are wild. They are this deep brown color that is so deep, so intense. I doubt anything from this moment on will live up to the beauty that is Jacob Blake.

“I can’t wait to be inside of you, Princess. I’m going to fuck you so hard that your pussy is shaped for my dick and my dick alone.”

I move my hands to his hips, trying to grab his shirt and pull it over his head. I want to feel his skin against mine.

“Keep your hands on my shoulders, Princess. Don’t move them.”

“I want to feel you…please Jacob take your shirt off,” I beg and make no mistake I am begging. Right now, I would do anything just to feel him…feel more of him.

Jacob groans but pulls back enough so that between the two of us we manage to pull his shirt off.

I can’t wait. I want to trace my fingers along the outline of his tats and follow that with my tongue. Jacob doesn’t let me though. I whimper out in disappointment as he grabs my hands and puts them over my head imprisoning them with one of his against the wall.

“Jacob, please…”

“Not on your life Princess, you touch me and this will be over. There’s only so much a man can take,” he responds and then I give up worrying about it because his lips are back on my breasts, sucking and worrying the nipple at the exact same time I feel his fingers moving over my clit.

Oh my god.

That’s the only thought I can have. No one has ever touched me before except well…me, and nothing I’ve ever done has felt this freaking good.

Jacob’s mouth comes up kissing and licking above my breast and along my collarbone, giving little nips with his teeth and driving me crazy. I push against his hand, wishing I was free so I could touch more of him. He won’t let go. I grieve the loss somewhere in the back of my mind. That’s all I can do, because I feel Jacob’s finger sliding against the lips of my pussy and then slowly move inside.

“Princess, you’re dripping for me. Do you want my cock, baby?”

Yes!!!!

I want to scream out, but I don’t. I’m a little afraid of what is to come, but that’s not it. I’ve dreamed of making love to Jacob forever, but as intense as this is, it is not like I imagined. It is not what I dreamed. I’m afraid to say that though, if I do he will stop and I don’t want that.

His finger pushes inside of me and I groan. It feels full and uncomfortable, but at the same time amazing. His thumb grazes my clit over and over, faster and faster and my hips begin to rock before I realize it.

“That’s it, Princess. Get out of that head of yours and just let your body feel,” He whispers as his tongue pushes into my ear and I feel yet another finger slide inside of me, stretching my passage.

I can’t stop a moan that breaks free. I am beyond full. I am stretched so much it’s almost painful.

“Shhh… I got you, Care Bear. I got you.”

I hear his voice and feel his breath against my face. I hear my old nickname and my body relaxes slowly, he lets go of my hands and I open my eyes that I didn’t remember closing.

He slides down to his knees and my vision is hazy because I’m so excited. Still, the sight of him on his knees in front of me, steals my breath. My hands move down to tease through his hair again, but he looks up at me and traps me with his eyes.

“Keep your hands flat against the wall, Carrie,” his order is quiet but full of demand.

“Jacob…”

“Do it.”

I swallow at the command in his voice, but flatten my hands against the wall and wait.

“Good girl. You want to be my good girl don’t you?”

I lick my lips, almost afraid of this new Jacob. I nod yes, because I’m not a fool. I want more. Heck at this point, I need more.

He smiles and that smile is full of cocky male and promises bad things. I apparently am a lover of bad things, because I feel myself getting even wetter and his fingers slide in a little further. How far can he go?

He uses one of his hands to open my pussy to him. Cool air hits my clit. It is in direct contrast to the heat that flushes and travels through my body as Jacob’s studies me.

“Damn Princess, you have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen. Look at all these pretty red curls trying to hide you from me. We’re going to have to shave that. Later though, right now I’m way too hungry for you.”

I bite my lip to keep from crying out as he flattens his tongue and licks my clit, pushing against it.

“Oh god…” Not very intelligent but all I can manage at this point. It only gets better when Jacob somehow captures my clit between his teeth and flicks his tongue back and forth. It’s similar to what he did to my breasts, only better… like a thousand times better.

All the while, he continues to move his fingers very gently back and forth inside of me. With each thrust his fingers sink further inside of me.

“Jacob, I think… I’m going…”

I’m gasping trying to figure out what I want to say, but unable to be coherent enough to put the words together.

He growls. He literally growls against my pussy and once again sucks my clit into his mouth, humming against it. His fingers pick up speed. Faster he slides in and out of me and I can hear the sound of him plunging through my wetness. His fingers become harder, relentless as they drive into me. My hips rock, following him with each withdrawal before he plunges back in. I’m riding his hand, trying to take in every touch, every feeling. I can feel a climax building, and I try to fight it off. I don’t want this to end.

“Let go, Carrie. Let it go for me. I want to hear you as you come all over my face.”

His words combined with the way he is working me, send me over the edge. I scream out his name in one long, broken cry.

My head goes back hard against the wall, but I barely notice it as my body quakes in release.

It feels as if all the bones in my body have melted. I can only moan and tremble while Jacob picks me up and carries me to the bed. He lays me down and I open my eyes to smile, there is so much I want to say to him. So many words come to mind. Three certain words are the ones I long to say.

I love you.

I can’t say that. I know I can’t. Luckily, all thought stops when Jacob pulls off the gray sweats he is wearing.

I have never seen a man naked before. Well okay, I’ve seen pictures, but as far as seeing a live, naked man standing in front of me? That has never happened. The fact that the man is Jacob, along with the fact that he is oh-my-god-holy-smokes-flat-out-gorgeous, fries what little brain receptors I have. All I would be able to do is babble some unintelligible words, so I bite my tongue to stop them.

I do reach out though, I can’t help it. Finally, I get to touch him, to feel him. My hands collide with the warm skin of his abdomen. I flex my fingers wanting to feel more…to dig in and never let go.

I don’t get the chance though because Jacob grabs my hands and pushes me back completely against the mattress.

“Princess, I told you, no touching.”

“Please Jacob, I want to feel you…”

“Not now, I need to concentrate on you. I know this is your first time and if you touch me, I won’t be able to make it good for you. Do you trust me?”

Make it good for me? Can it get any better than what we just shared? That has already blown every preconception I had of what an orgasm feels like. His dark brown eyes are right in front of mine. Until this moment, I thought I knew everything about Jacob, but his eyes are not brown. Well they are, they’re like a dark brown but they have these flecks of green and gold in them…Hazel…the most beautiful shade of Hazel I could ever imagine, so deep and drugging. I swallow at the darkness I see in them. I know, well I have always known that Jacob has demons that threatened to consume him, but now? Now, I can feel them radiating off of him and I want to fix him, I want to save him. I just don’t know how. So, even though I want to argue? Even though, I want to scream that it is my first time and because it is, I want to be able to wrap my arms around him and hold him to me? I don’t. I don’t do any of that. I nod yes.

He rummages until he finds a scarf I had in the clothes he dumped out. I try to get up again. I’m not sure why, to be honest. Jacob is naked, it’s a really good show and it just feels like I should be closer.

He doesn’t let me though. He pulls my hands above my head and wraps the scarf around my wrists. I should panic, but Jacob is on his knees beside me, he’s bent over wrapping my wrists up and his penis is jutted out in front of my face. I’ve never seen a penis this close up…umm…okay I’ve never seen a real live penis! More importantly, I’ve never seen Jacob’s penis!

My first instinct is to touch it. It’s large, thick and I guess I can’t judge, but beautiful. The head is glistening with moisture and I’m dying to run my thumb over it. My hands pull against the restraint of the scarves, but I get nowhere. He’s secured me to one of the metal spindles on the headboard.

“Jacob, I want to touch…it.”

“It?” He asks looking at me now that he has finished securing the scarf.

“Your…you know.”

Jacob laughs and it is a really good sound, but since it is me he is laughing at? Kind of embarrassing.

“Princess, I’m about to make you real familiar with my ‘you know’. I think the least you could do is say the word, don’t you?”

“I want to touch your…penis.”

He laughs again, but this time the look on his face is worth it. He reminds me of the old Jacob like this. His face relaxed, almost happy and the sound of his laughter is free and easy. This gift alone makes me forget my embarrassment. I don’t have time to dwell on it however. He moves to lay beside me, his hand rough and callused, moves down and rests against my stomach. His head tilts over me and his lips slide briefly against mine.

“I like having you completely at my mercy, Princess. You’re mine to do whatever I want,” he whispers against my lips and I can’t stop my tongue from reaching out to gently stroke his lips and taste him.