I definitely miss riding on the back of Bull’s bike this morning. Even though the temperatures are cool this time of year, there’s something amazing about holding onto him, while the wind whips through my hair. Plus, you can feel the joy radiate from Bull. Thinking of Bull makes my heart speed up. I’m in love with him. I haven’t told him and I’m mad at myself because I haven’t. I’m letting fear hold me back, and that’s not fair to me or Bull.

I left Bull sleeping this morning. He’ll be mad, I know—especially after the note from my friendly-neighborhood-stalker. But, he was in so much pain last night, and it was almost three this morning before he fell back asleep. I sure wasn’t going to wake him up at four and tell him I had to leave to meet with my chief of staff in some emergency meeting. Walter texted. He asked me to come in for a meeting, before my rounds. He wouldn’t explain why, so I’m worried. If I had to explain all that to Bull, he would have demanded I wait for him, and then I’m pretty sure he would have insisted on being present at the meeting. Sneaking out was my best option. I sent a text to Blair, who gets up at four thirty every morning anyways. I told her I was going in early and that Bull was with Matty right now, but she would might need to be on standby because Matty’s holiday break at school starts today. I owe Blair so much and she barely lets me pay her.

I’m driving down the road and my brake light comes on. I want to groan out in frustration. This damn car just cost me two hundred dollars in repairs last week. I rub the tension at the back of my neck and pray it’s nothing serious. My Christmas fund is going to be awful tight if it’s something major. Matty wants a bike, and I need to make sure he gets one, because he hardly ever asks for things.

I come to the stop sign at the end of my street and the car comes to a stop okay—but the pedal goes all the way to the floor, before it finally stops. Damn. I don’t know much about cars, I was hoping the light meant I needed new pads or something. But now, I’m starting to worry it is low on fluid or something. That was supposed to have been checked at the last service.

I decide to drive extra slow, just in case. Dr. Walter can just be pissed if I’m late. I listen to the music on the radio, while thinking over my night with Bull. Who knew life with a biker could be so…normal. Well, fucking hot, but normal. I’m grinning like a loon as I start down old Crawford Mountain. I came this route without thinking. There’s a second way to get to the hospital, it’s just that this one is closer. The bad part is, it winds and twists in ‘S’ shaped curves. They are so steep, that sometimes make you think you are passing yourself. I usually come this way, but if I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have—especially with my brakes acting up. I’m a little worried, but I can always gear the car down into a lower gear, and that combined with my brakes should be enough to make it safe.

My cell phone rings, and I pick it up, glancing at the number. Great. He woke up early.

“Hello?” I answer, trying to interject cheerfulness into my voice.

“Doc, where the fuck are you?”

“I’m headed to work, honey.” I tell him, and I’m distracted by his anger. His anger irritates me. I was trying to do something nice for the dumbass. Besides, I’m a grown woman!

“Damn it, Doc! You told me you didn’t have to go in until six this morning. It’s barely five!”

I take a deep breath as I top the hill, and try to remember he’s only being an ass because he cares about me. He said he loved me. That thought feels me with warmth.

“Walter called and asked me to come in before rounds for a meeting.”

“I bet that sorry sack of shit wants a meeting. Why in the fuck didn’t you wake me, Doc?”

“You had barely slept. I’m sure it’s nothing, and I’m perfectly safe.”

“You weren’t safe when he tried to force himself on you, and did you forget about the fucking notes?”

“Bull, for gods-sake, I’m going to be in public at the hospital, I’ll be fine.”

“And the fucking notes?”

“Will you give it a rest? I’m sorry I even told you about them. If the police aren’t worried about them, I don’t know why you should be!” I yell back, upset with him, and that’s bad because I forgot two very important things. I didn’t gear down when I started going downhill. That might not have been horrible in and of itself, but the more agitated I get, the more my foot presses on the accelerator. I’m going much faster than I do normally, let alone when I’m worried about my brakes.

“The police are morons, and I’m worried, because someone has been targeting my woman! Damn it, Skye! You better call me the minute you get to the hospital, and make sure you tell me what that fuckwad wanted. I have to go meet with Freak this morning, but I’ll be…”

“Bull!” I stop him, because this time when I press the brake pedal nothing happens. Instead of slowing down, the car picks up speed.

“I’m sorry, Doc. I shouldn’t have yelled. It’s just I love…”

“Bull! My brakes aren’t working!”

“What? What do you mean? Where are you?”

“I mean, I’m pumping the pedal and nothing happens! I just keep picking up speed!”

“Fuck, where are you Skye?”

“Coming down Crawford,” I tell him, fear thick in my voice. I can feel the tears spilling from my eyes. I ignore them, trying to think of what to do. I’m a damned medical school graduate. I can do this. I hold human hearts in my hand while they’re beating for Christ’s sake.

“Fuck! Okay sweetheart, press hard on the brake pedal, does anything happen?”

“No! That’s what I’m trying to tell you!”

“I need you to lift the lever for your emergency brake, Skye. Do it slowly, but get it up all the way.”

Emergency brake. Why the hell didn’t I think of that? I do as he says. I don’t know what I expected. On television when someone does this, they usually fishtail in some kind of cool smoking doughnut, parking lot stunt. I’ve got the steering wheel gripped tight, waiting for that. It never happens.

“Why the fuck isn’t it happening?” I cry out.

“Skye? What’s going on?” Bull asks, and I don’t know if it’s just because I’m terrified, or if he is but, all I can hear is you’re going to die, in his voice.

“Nothing! Bull! Why did nothing happen?”

“It had to slow down some, sweetheart. Now, I need you to gear down into low gear. Can you do that?”

He’s talking so cool and calm, and that should reassure me, but right now it doesn’t. Still, I do what he tells me. My speedometer at one time read eighty, but now I’m in the curviest part of the hill. I do what he says, and notice my speed is down to sixty now. The hand on my RPM dial is way in the red. I decide I don’t care if I do blow up my car—I may never drive again. My wheel’s screech as I slide sideways around a steep curve. My speed is now fifty-five, and that’s great! It would be awesome—except I’m not on an open road. No, I’m halfway down the mountain, and going into the largest switchback curve of them all. My car slides again. Half of it goes air born when I cut the wheel too deep. My cellphone goes flying through the air, as I use both hands on the steering wheel, trying to get it back under control.

“Skye, sweetheart you have to talk to me.”

I hear Bull’s voice from somewhere in the car. I know he can’t hear me, and I don’t know where the phone is, plus the squealing of my tires is deafening. A horn blows, adding to the noise, because just as I do a one-eighty spin in the curve, another car is coming in the opposite lane, on the other side of the road. They are going slow, and they do their best to steer their car out of my path, but it’s no use. I’m going too fast; my car is too out of control. I’m sideways and taking up entirely too much road.

“I love you, Bull!” I tell him, uselessly. Then, there is the screaming sound of metal against metal, as my car collides with the other. The air bag explodes, my head is thrown backwards…and then…blackness.