“Hellcat?” I whisper, as I sneak into her room. It’s after three a.m., and I’m fucking killed. So much has been going on at the club in the last six months. It feels like I never look up. Dancer came home although that was a good thing, he’s got some heavy shit on his shoulders, and he’s still having trouble adapting. He and Carrie are expecting a baby and that seems to have helped. What hasn’t helped was the club finally discovering who was behind paying Irish and Twist. The trail led us straight to the father of the man Dancer killed.

Fucker almost took me, Dance, Carrie, and Bull out before we got him, but we managed to survive and get the motherfucker. Bull was hurt pretty bad; he’s a tough son of a bitch though. He had to be, to survive having his brain bashed in and then being stuck in an explosion. It’s left him with a lot of problems, but I know he’ll come out of it.

The constant uproar and danger was wearing the club down, but it was also the one thing that convinced Dani to move into the clubhouse, full time. Which was damn good, because Dragon is keeping me so fucking busy, if she didn’t live here, I’d hardly get to see her. I need that woman more than air at this point. I’m completely, lost in her. The only thing giving us any trouble is that she’s still hiding the fact that we’re together. It’s pissing me off. She has this idea in her head that Dragon would forbid it, and it would cause me trouble in the club. I told her I didn’t give a fuck, and she was wrong, but she panics. She’s not ready to tell Nicole yet either. That’s going to have to change soon. Gunner and Freak already know about it, and I’m pretty sure Dragon and the others suspect it. Kind of hard not to, when we fuck anywhere and everywhere we get a chance. My woman is adventurous, hot, needy, and always ready. The only thing I can’t seem to talk her into is giving me her mouth. She hasn’t told me a lot about her past, but I know her problems with it begins and ends there. I’m patient. I can wait, and honestly, if I never get that from her, with everything else she gives me, I don’t give a fuck.

I go over to the bed and she’s asleep, a better man wouldn’t wake her. I’m a bastard though and I need her. I strip down quickly and slide into bed behind her. She wiggles that naked ass of hers against my dick, and I nearly moan out loud.

“I told you not to get in bed with me this late. My boyfriend will be home any minute,” she whispers, and I smile at the joy I hear in her voice. I did that. I bring her joy. She’s completely different with me than she is with everyone else.

“How long do you think we have before he shows up?” I ask, playing along.

“How long do you think it will take you to make me come?” she asks, barely able to hide her giggle.

“One minute,” I answer, only slightly exaggerating. Over the months we’ve been together, I’ve memorized her. I know the sensitive spots, and the ones that bring her the most pleasure by heart. Fuck, I dream of them. I’m pretty sure I could make her detonate in under three minutes. Good thing I’m not that stupid. I love bringing her along slowly, torturing her until her need overwhelms her.

She lets out this big sigh, and I hear the laughter in her voice. “It’s not bad enough you short change ‘Junior’. Now you’re trying to become a minute man. I feel it only fair to warn you that women like men that last a long time.”

“I haven’t noticed you complaining,” I tell her, pulling her back against me, so I can hold her tight.

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“How thoughtful of you,” I say sarcastically, burying my face in her neck, and breathing in her scent.

“I try. You doing okay? Did you get everything squared away?” she asks, and I kiss her neck, tasting the slightly salty skin there, wanting more.

“Yeah babe, it was a quick run. Dragon wanted to make sure we were back for the party tomorrow,” I answer. Me, Dragon, Six, and Gun all went to Gadsden, Alabama. We needed to personally oversee a shipment of guns that the parent chapter of Savage MC was sending through our state and up to Ohio. We’ve had so much trouble lately that this was one thing we could not have a fuck-up with. That shit is getting embarrassing and makes our club look weak. We can’t afford more and risk the parent chapter wading into our local business. Luckily, tonight’s shipment went well, since Dragon was dying to get back. There’s a party tomorrow to celebrate their upcoming wedding, and the fact that Nicole is pregnant. Which brings me back to what I want to talk to Dani about.

“I think we need to announce that you and I are a couple tomorrow.”

Her whole body tenses up. “No.”

It’s one word, but hearing it so adamant even after all this time, pisses me off. I mean hell, I’m starting to feel like the dirty secret she’s embarrassed of and hides.

“Dani…”

“No. It’s Dragon and Nicole’s big day. That’s not the right time to tell the club about us, Zander.”

“Half the club already fucking knows. It’d be better if Dragon and Nicole heard it from us, instead of others,” I argue, but honestly, it’s the same argument I’ve been using since that day in her kitchen months and months ago. I don’t understand, and I’m getting fucking tired. I love this woman, but I’m not sure I want to continue with a woman who can’t even admit to people she wants me.

“Only Gunner and Freak know. Will you let this go? I told you I’m not ready, Zander.”

I shouldn’t have brought this up tonight. I’m tired and worn out, and I should have just gone to sleep and let it be. Trouble is, I’ve been away from Dani for two nights. I missed the fucking hell out of her, and for some reason I thought us being apart even for two damn days might make her realize that it’s time we make it official. I had myself convinced she would be ready, and the fact that she’s not sits bitter in my gut.

“I’m starting to think you’re never going to be ready, Hellcat.”

“I will, it’s just. There’s things I’m dealing with, things I need to make sure are over before I close the door on the past,” she says; her voice is small and hurting. Any other time I would cave, but her words just piss me off all the more.

“Fine, then tell me what the fuck is in your past.”

“I’ve told you…”

“No, you tell me bits and pieces that leave me stumbling around in the dark.”

“I’ve told you more than I’ve ever told anyone,” she defends, her voice full of panic.

“Bullshit! I’ve spent over six months searching for this motherfucker, Michael Smith. I’ve searched in Texas, and any state close to Kentucky. Hell, I’ve searched in fucking Italy because you mentioned your mom had family there. Give me something, Hellcat. Jesus.”

The vibe in the room has changed. If I wasn’t so upset, I would have noticed it. Trouble is my anger is amped up and my frustration is so big that I don’t—until it’s too late.

Dani reaches over and turns the bedside light on. Her face is pale, her eyes haunted, and the tears in them aren’t what finally gut-punches me. No, that would be the stark fear that is coming off her in waves.

“You…you’ve been searching for…you’ve been trying to find Michael?”

“Of course I have. Do you think I’m going to let that motherfucker live after the hell he put you through? I’m going cut a piece out of him every day for a month before I finally end the motherfucker.”

“I…you…why didn’t you tell me this? Zander, you can’t find Michael.”

“I fucking will. Mark that down, Hellcat. I will find him and drag his ass to Kentucky,” I tell her, completely serious.

She jumps out of bed, and the fear coming from her is so large you can almost smell it in the room. She goes to her closet, pulls out a pair of jeans, and begins putting them on.

“What the fuck are you doing? Do you know what time it is? Get back in this bed, Dani.”

“I can’t believe you. I let you in. I trusted you, and you go behind my back and do this? Do you have any idea what would happen if Michael knew where I was? I barely got away last time! Are you trying to get me killed? To get Nicole killed? Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“Fuck no. I don’t, because you won’t tell me shit! So, tell me so I can end this sorry son of a bitch once and for all and stop my woman living in fear all the time!”

She yanks my shirt off, throws it at me, slides on a blue t-shirt of hers, and then finishes turning, staring at me. Her face is a combination of fear, anger and…fuck I’ve seen that face. I know that face. She’s going to run. Just like Melly, she’ll run, and I won’t be able to save her. Only this time it will destroy me. I loved Mel, I did in a sweet and young love kind of way. We would have been happy, but Dani…fuck, she owns me.

“I told you shit. I told you it didn’t matter. I told you I got away and asked you to leave it alone. You told me you would. You lied, Zander…I trusted you. I gave myself to you! You’re the first man I’ve ever willingly given myself to, and you lied! You have no idea…none. My God! If Michael knows someone is searching for him, it’s just a matter of time. You’ll have killed the only people in the world I care about.”

“Damn it, stop being a drama queen! He’s one fucking man! I got this shit. You just need to trust me.”

“Drama queen? That man you’re trying to bring back to Kentucky, bring back to me, is evil.”

“I can be too, especially when a son of a bitch is messing with someone I love!”

She stops and I think, finally. Finally, I’ve gotten through to her.

“What you’ve done could kill the only people I’ve ever loved. Nicole and Ray are all I have in the world. You could have killed them. Hell, what you did still might.”

Her words slice me open in a way no blade ever could.

“You have me, damn it!”

She looks at me with tears pouring down her face.

“I don’t want you.”

“What the hell, damn it, Dani!”

“Get out!”

“I’m not going…”

“Get the fuck out. I wanted to find out about sex. I wanted no strings. I wanted your dick—not you! That’s why I kept us a secret! I thought we were just having fun. This is not fun anymore. I don’t want you in my life. Get the fuck out!”

I thought we were just having fun. I wanted your dick—not you…

Well hell, I don’t need a brick house to fall on me. Or shit maybe I did, because it sure feels like something has slammed on my chest and is not allowing me to breathe. I leave with a slam of the door. Fuck this, ain’t no pussy worth this shit.