I’m used to waking up alone by now, but I always miss him. Dragon.

I watched this movie once, a long time ago, about soulmates. It was a cheesy, corny movie, but it talked about souls being separated when they are brought into this world, and how they spend their entire existence here on Earth, trying to find their missing partner. I always loved the idea. I never dreamed it was real, but with Dragon that scenario doesn’t seem far-fetched. I find myself praying that my child finds his woman, the one woman who will complete him as Dragon does me—and good lord, if that isn’t a syrupy, sugary load of crap to be thinking about first thing in the morning. Dani’s right, pretty soon rainbows will be shooting out of my ass.

I pat my stomach gently and slowly get up. I’m hungry. That’s nothing new. I swear Junior has me eating everything that’s not nailed down. This morning, he’s demanding bacon before I even get fully awake.

“Nic! You up?” I hear the panic in Dani’s voice, even through the door.

“Come on in,” I call out, because it’s going to take me a while to even get up off the bed. Junior is already making that difficult. I’m wondering how I’m going to manage the last few months, at this rate.

“Nic!” Dani walks in, her dark hair pulled high on her head in a ponytail, her face made up perfectly with her trademark dark red lipstick. She’s dressed in jeans that look worn out, but if truth was known she bought them just yesterday. She may have left her past behind, but my girl has designer taste. She’s wearing a purple, white and black checkered flannel shirt. You would think that shirt wouldn’t go with the vibe she has going on, but somehow, it totally does. Dani’s always been like that, I’ve always been a little envious.

“Dani, please don’t give me shit about the dresses again. I gave in and let you have…”

“Nic, please.” The desperation in Dani’s voice causes my heart to trip. This is way more serious than the length of a damn maid of honor dress.

“What…”

It’s the only word I can get out. I’m too busy taking in the stark fear shining in her brown eyes. Panic grabs me, because there’s only one thing that could cause this much fear on Dani’s face.

“Mich…”

She pushes a rumpled, wadded, white paper at me, and stops me from finishing. That’s okay, I’d rather not say that monster’s name ever again. I have a bad feeling, which only gets stronger when I notice how hard Dani’s hands are shaking. I lick my suddenly dry lips. This is not good. Slowly, my attention moves from Dani down to the letter in my hand, the one I’ve slowly been unfolding without even realizing it. I stretch out the hopeless wrinkles, move my hands against them, and press hard into my leg. I’m putting off opening it. I’m not ashamed to say I’m afraid; if the look on Dani’s face is anything to go by, I have reason to be.

Again, I lick my lips, damn, my mouth is dry. I pick the paper up, not surprised to see my hands are shaking too. It’s torn out of a magazine. I look at it confused. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but this isn’t it. It’s a copy of a society paper from New York, dated years ago. On the cover is a picture of Dani, a much younger and definitely more innocent Dani, but Dani nonetheless. The paper is yellow from time, but the headline under it jumps out at you—or at least it does me. It causes my heart to lodge in my throat.

Society darling, Melinda Marinetti to marry Michael Kavanagh

Oh fuck. Oh fuck, no.

“Where did you get this?” I ask, and I hate that I can’t keep the panic out of my voice. Dani doesn’t need to hear my panic.

“My car.”

“Maybe you left it…”

“It was on the windshield. How the fuck did he find me? I have to leave…I can’t stay here anymore!”

I crumple the paper in my hands. The happy, sweet face of the young girl with innocent brown eyes and broad smile mocks me. I miss that girl. She was swallowed by a darkness and pain so deep, that I’ll never find her. It took me a year, but I finally acknowledged it—that girl was lost to me forever.

“You don’t have to leave. Right here is the safest place for you, Dani! Dragon and the boys would protect you with their lives!”

Dani flops down on the bed beside me, and I hate the tears that are falling down her face. Michael took way too much from her already, and he shouldn’t get any more of her tears.

“Don’t you think I know that? Hell, half the men here still haven’t forgiven me for putting you in danger, but they would protect me. I can’t ask them to do that, Nic.”

“You won’t have to ask Dani, we’re family…”

“Nic, Michael won’t rest until he has killed every member of the Savage Brothers, and he’ll make sure it is painful,” Dani responds, and I know she’s right.

“Dragon can handle him…we have to tell him.”

“I can’t. I won’t. I’ve caused enough shit. Fuck, I almost got you killed. You have to promise me you won’t tell him, Nic.”

“Dani, you have to let the past go.” A day hasn’t gone by that she hasn’t apologized for the mess with Tiny.

“It might be alright for you, but it’s not for me, and it sure as hell is not okay with Dragon. What I did was stupid, and we almost lost our lives because of it. All because Dragon reminded me of Michael!”

“Dragon is nothing like Michael,” I feel the need to defend, because I don’t like that she ever thought of Dragon like that.

“Don’t you think I know that now? Hell Nic, I knew it then on some level, but my brain and mind…they don’t work right when it comes to Michael. Nothing works right…”

“I can tell Dragon, he’ll understand…”

“No!” she screams out in panic. “Promise me you won’t tell him! Promise me Nic, or I’ll leave right now. I don’t want anyone to know! Please!!!”

“Dani, you have to forgive yourself. I’m alive, you’re alive, and we’re okay.”

“We are now, but Michael knows where I’m at, no one will be safe. He doesn’t know you’re involved, Nic. If he finds out, he’ll take it personal. You covered for me, you lied to him. Michael won’t accept that. I should leave, it’s the only solution. If I leave he’ll follow me and leave you alone.”

“Dani, I’m getting married in two weeks!”

“I know. I’ll try and stay Nic, but I can’t put anyone in danger and…oh god, Nic, I can’t let Michael find me again. I can’t…”

Her tears fall harder, and the sobs shake her body. I wrap her up in my arms, hug her closely, letting her cry. It takes all I have not to join her.

“We’ll figure this out. I promise we will,” I’m saying it, but even I’m not sure I mean it. I need to tell Dragon, but I won’t betray Dani. She’s had enough of that in her life. If I betray her, she’ll completely withdraw. I’ll lose her forever.

I feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place here. I really don’t know what to do. So, for now, I hold Dani close and let her shed more tears over a monster who doesn’t deserve them. The only thing he deserves is death.