Chapter Eleven
Cade
December 8, Friday Evening
I honked the horn outside Alissa’s apartment block while I waited for her to come out and greet me. I’d told her that I was on the way, and there didn’t seem to be anywhere to park, so it was the only way to get her attention. The horn on the car hire was loud, and maybe a little obnoxious, but it was all I had.
My body buzzed with excitement as I waited for her to come out. It was weird. I knew I shouldn’t be feeling so happy about seeing someone that I should have only been spending time with as a sister, but I couldn’t seem to help myself. Alissa created a thrill inside of me that hadn’t been there before.
That kiss we shared had been phenomenal. I hadn’t been able to think about much since. Yes, it was wrong, yes, I knew it could make our complex family situation even worse, but the sensations that she had crashing through my body were too powerful for me to ignore.
I wanted to know where this could lead. Screw everyone else.
As Alissa came flying out of her apartment, I grinned at the sight of her outfit. I’d have preferred to see more of her body, but it was too cold for that. The tight black skinny jeans, combined with a large oversized sweater and midnight blue scarf made her look gorgeous. She’d scraped her hair back into a high ponytail, showing off her sculpted cheekbones.
“Hey, sorry I’m late,” she gushed as she slid into the passenger seat. “I had to find a scarf. I didn’t realize how cold it was until I got outside.”
“No, it’s fine.” I had to forgive her. Her flushed cheeks and wide eyes made her look too adorable not to. “It’s probably a good idea that you’re wrapped up warm, anyway. Come on, let’s go.”
“Wait, why?” She twisted in her seat to look straight at me. “Where are we going? I still don’t know.”
I smiled secretly to myself. “You’ll see when we get there, won’t you?”
“Aren’t you going to tell me?”
I didn’t even answer that, I simply started up the car and drove. I had managed to keep my plan a surprise all week long, and I wanted to keep that up. I hadn’t ever worked so hard at sorting out a perfect date before.
Eventually, Alissa got the hint that I wasn’t going to say anything, so she slumped back in her seat and looked at the window. I kept glancing at her out the side of my eye as we drove, noticing how she was even more beautiful when her expression relaxed.
“Oh, look, the Rockefeller Centre!” she cried as we pulled up the car. “Is this where we’re going?”
“I thought we could go skating,” I told her with a smile. “I thought why not try it at the most famous ice rink in the world?”
Alissa chuckled gratefully. “Oh my God, I haven’t ever skated before. And I’ve always wanted to. Especially here!” Her eyes shone gleefully. “I thought we were going to, like, go for dinner or something.”
“I’ll get you a hot dog or something later.” I grinned as I unbuckled my seatbelt. “But I thought we should do something a little more exciting first.”
“Can we go and see the Christmas tree as well?” She grabbed onto my arm as she pleaded with me. “I would love to go and do that.”
“Yes, anything you want.”
As we walked towards the Christmas tree, I kept wanting to interlock my fingers through hers, but it didn’t quite feel right. We’d shared a kiss, but there was still a little awkwardness surrounding that, and I didn’t want to push it. I wanted to take things at a pace that suited Alissa. I needed to keep myself under control – at least until I knew for sure how she felt.
“Oh, Cade, look at it!” she exclaimed as her eyes ran up and down the tree. “It’s kinda magical, isn’t it?”
I moved closer to her and allowed my hand to dangle near hers. “Yeah, it really is. Seeing it in real life is much better than in pictures. Did you ever come here when you were a kid? I know I wanted to every year, but my parents were always too busy.”
Alissa’s shoulders tensed up, and I suddenly realized that I’d made a huge mistake. Mentioning family around Alissa was a mistake anyway, but especially because of how things with her and Helen. “Oh, well no, my mom wasn’t ever much for Christmas. Or any of the holidays, really.”
“Yeah, I guess it puts you off a bit, doesn’t it?” My situation wasn’t like Alissa’s, but it led us to have similar opinions. “But when you’re looking at that tree, it reminds you there’s still some beauty.” I hoped... Oh God, had I screwed things up completely?
“Yeah, it’s good always to be positive.”
Alissa was distant for a moment as if her mind was off on another planet completely. I wanted to delve into her brain, to see what was going on inside her mind, but I was scared to push it, in case it shut her down completely. She folded her arms tightly around herself as if she had to hold herself together. The last thing I wanted was for her to fall apart.
“Come on,” she eventually twisted her body rapidly. “Let’s go ice skating; I want to see how quickly you take to the ice.”
“I used to skate a lot when I was younger,” I warned her. “So, I might find it easier than you think.”
“We’ll see.”
I took Alissa to the counter and sorted us out a pair of skates each. She kept shooting me little smiles as she tied her boots up. This was such a good idea, and I was so glad that I’d chosen it. I wanted the date to be a memorable one, and it felt like I was on the way to achieving that.
As we stepped onto the ice, I found that my skating skills did help me. I slid and slipped a little, but not quite enough to fall over. Once I’d regained my balance, I turned around to face Alissa, who hadn’t quite managed it yet. “See? Look at this! It isn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be!”
“Yeah, let’s see you move then. Standing still is one thing...” Her words trailed off as she watched me walk. “Okay, then it must be easy.”
She stepped onto the ice with confidence. I kept back to give her room to move but instantly realized that was a mistake. Her feet seemed to have slid out immediately from underneath her, and I had to race to her side to stop her from hitting the ice with a hard thump.
“Oof,” she cried out as she landed on my arm. “Oh my God, how the hell did you manage to catch me so quickly? Weren’t you way over there?”
“Are you alright?” I stared at her face, trying to see if there was any pain there, but all I could really see was shock. “That was crazy.”
I stared into her eyes, and my lips curled up into a smile. With her hair spilling out behind her, her face was even more gorgeous than before. My heart literally skipped a beat. Alissa affected me in ways that no one ever had before.
“Yeah, it isn’t as easy as I thought it was going to be.”
“Come on; I’ll hold your hand.” Finally, an excuse. I’d wanted to hold her hand all night long. “I’ll guide you.”
At first, as we moved, Alissa stumbled as much as the young children, which only made her cling tighter onto me. I felt like a hero, a big brave man looking after the damsel in distress. Soon though, she began to relax a little, and her feet glided with more ease.
“See? You’re getting there!”
“This is so much fun!” she gasped as she finally let go of my arm. “I can’t believe it. I will never forget this.”
Of course, that was just the moment that she tumbled again. I grabbed hold of her and twisted her around until our faces were only inches apart. At that moment, the rest of the world that simply melted away. The noise, the lights, the other skaters. They all vanished into nothing. It was only Alissa and me.
I could hear her breaths. I could feel her chest rising and rapidly falling as she felt all the same things that I did. There was a chemistry circling us, a magnetism drawing us in. Any minute now we would kiss.
“I think we better...erm, move.” Alissa broke the magic of the moment, and as much as I was disappointed, I knew she was right. Kissing right here in the middle of the ice rink in front of all those people would be a terrible idea. “Come on; I think you’re going to have to hold my hand all the way around.”
***
Once we had finished ice skating, I took her to find a hot dog stand just as I promised, and on the way, a busking brass band started playing. My instinctive reaction was to put my head down and to walk past them without even listening, just like I always did with buskers, but Alissa stopped to watch. She pulled on my arm to make me stop with her.
I was just about to ask her what she was doing when I spotted the stunning, happy look on her face. Her eyes sparkled with sheer joy as she watched the street musicians play. I should have known not to rush right past because I’d already seen Alissa playing on the streets before. There were her people – this is what she did.
“They’re great, aren’t they?” she mooned. “One of the best quintets I’ve ever heard.”
I had never been one affected by music before. I just listened to it in the background as I went on about my daily business, but seeing the way it flowed through Alissa like a spell, boosting her up, was unforgettable. She breathed the sound in like it was air, and I knew at that moment that I would hear things differently from now on. I would listen deeper and try to find the emotion, just like she did. I wanted to learn from her; I wanted something to bring me the sheer bliss that music brought her.
“Yeah, I think so.”
She twisted her neck to look up at me and gave me a tender smile. I’d been trying so hard to hold back and to resist all night long, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I gently wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and pulled her lips to mine. I’d wanted to kiss her for ages now, and this felt like the perfect moment. I wanted to associate this type of music with this wonderful night. Alissa wouldn’t think the same, since she listened to this sort of music all the time But, that was fun to imagine we shared something so intimate.
Her plump lips felt soft and sweet, breathing her in filled my chest up with warmth, and as she tied her hands around my waist, I felt incredibly happy. The more I peeled the layers back, the more of her I wanted to know. I liked her; she felt right for me. How could something that felt so amazing be wrong?