Chapter Fourteen
Olivia
Tuesday
Oh, my God, I desperately thought as I tried to push Zack off me. How the hell did that happen? What the hell was he doing trying to kiss me like that? Why did he have to lean on the door, so we fell through? One moment, we were silently walking up the stairs and the next moment this was happening…this was a nightmare. I am going kill Zack!
“Zack!” Meghan called out gleefully at the sight of her friend. “You’re here.”
“He’s just going,” I snarled as I pushed him off me. I couldn’t stand to have his body near me right now; he made me feel ill. But that wasn’t so much him as it was the humiliation of the situation. I hated being seen in such a vulnerable situation. “Say goodbye to Zack, Meg.”
“Hi, I’m Peter,” my dad stepped forward and extended a hand to Zack. I tried to shoot my father a warning look, this was not what I wanted to happen right now, but he completely ignored me and continued to introduce himself to Zack. It was almost as if he didn’t care how uncomfortable I felt. “It’s good to meet you. Zack, is it?”
“Yes, it’s Zack.” He stood up and shook my dad’s hand. There wasn’t a hint of embarrassment on his face – he didn’t seem bothered about being caught in such a precarious position at all. “Nice to meet you, Peter. You must be Olivia’s father.”
“I am yes, and you are…”
“I live across the hall.” He pointed to him, towards his apartment. “I was just helping Olivia in with the groceries.”
“Hmmm.” I felt myself return to a scared teenage girl as my father gave him a knowing look. This was awful; I felt myself dying inside. I didn’t want my father to assume that I was dumb enough to jump into another relationship after what had happened with Meghan’s father. “Okay, well that’s good to know. This is my wife, Doreen.”
I rolled my eyes and stomped into the kitchen like a petty teenager as my parents insisted on talking to the man who wound me up more than anyone else in the world. I thought that I had made it pretty clear that I didn’t want him here, but no one cared about what I thought.
“Where is Lark?” Meg squealed excitedly. “I haven’t seen him for ages.”
I slammed groceries in the cupboard and made a big, loud deal about turning the stove on. I wanted everyone to realize that I wasn’t comfortable with this situation at all. I was struggling enough with my parents here. I didn’t want the third degree that would inevitably come from my dad later on after this.
When it seemed that no one was paying any attention to me, I slid my way back to the room and leaned my body up against the doorframe while I observed what was going on.
“So, Zack, what do you do? A strapping lad like you, you must have a solid career.”
“Actually, I was in the military until a while back. I was a Navy Seal actually, pretty much ever since school. An accident forced me to be honorably discharged, so for the moment, I’m just trying to recover from the injury. I still have a lot of problems with my leg.”
“Oh, you should go and see Olivia at her physiotherapy office,” my dad smiled at him. “She just got a job here nearby. Apparently, she’s very good…so she’s told me!”
I pursed my lips nervously as I waited for Zack to answer. I didn’t know how my dad would react when he admitted that we already professionally saw each other, but the panic was all for nothing because Zack simply nodded as if this was brand new information.
“Where are you from?” It seemed that Dad wasn’t done with his interrogation yet.
“Upstate New York.”
“And, your parents live here?”
“My dad does. My mom isn’t alive anymore.” Huh. I didn’t know that. My heart fluttered quite violently as I learned that fact about Zack. It left me a little bewildered and off-kilter. It made my heart open just that little bit to Zack. I wondered what happened to his mom. “But yeah my dad is still around.”
“I see, and your dad is the one who taught you to be such a gentleman, is he?” My father cocked his eyebrow at Zack. “Seeing as you didn’t think Olivia could carry in a few bags by herself.”
“Oh well, I saw her struggling on the stairs.” Zack shrugged and grinned. “I’m always the first one to help. Bad leg or not, I won’t leave a lady struggling with bags.”
“I’m cooking dinner,” I interrupted loudly, trying to put this meeting to an end before I got far too emotional. All of Zack’s answers were affecting me in ways that I didn’t want. I didn’t want to think about him in any kind of sweet way. Screwing him randomly in the middle of the night was one thing, feelings things for him was something else entirely. “So, that will be ready soon.”
“Oh, Zack, are you staying?” Mom piped up, making me roll my eyes. “You eat, right?”
“No, Zack isn’t staying,” I said maybe a little too harshly. I couldn’t handle that; it was far too much. “This is a family dinner; I would much rather it just be us for tonight.” As everyone gave me a terrible look, I felt the need to justify myself. “Well, Mom, Dad, you aren’t here for much longer, I just want to spend as much time with you guys as possible.”
In all honesty, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. It was nice to have them around for Meghan’s sake, but I much preferred it when it was just us two. I couldn’t relax in the same way that I could usually, all of our barely there routines were messed up.
“I have dinner plans anyway,” Zack said thinly. He didn’t sound mad or hurt exactly, but there was definitely some emotion there lacing his tone. “But thank you for the invite, Doreen. It was really nice to meet you all.”
I followed Zack to the front door, edging him forwards much quicker than he seemed prepared to go. He shot me a confused look, but I felt far too blustered to explain. I would have to see him at another point to have this out with him.
“Just go,” I hissed angrily. “Please, leave.”
Zack leaned behind me and waved towards Meghan. “Bye, Meg. I’ll be sure to tell Lark that you were asking after him. Next time he’s around, we’ll come and see you.”
“Yay!” Meghan raced past me and flung her arms around Zack. It was a weird thing to see her allowing this man that was still virtually a stranger so far from her heart. I wasn’t sure if this was something I should be putting a stop to, or if it was okay. “Thank you, Zack.”
I watched him walk away, probably far too long since my family was behind me, and there was a pang in my heart as I did. I wasn’t sure what it was since I certainly didn’t feel anything for Zack, nothing more than physical at any rate, but I couldn’t ignore the way that my heart raced faster.
“He seems nice,” my mom commented idly behind me. “A good guy to have as a neighbor.”
“Mmm.” I didn’t want to commit too much; I didn’t want to spark off another round of questions. I was sure that it was unavoidable, but if I could minimize it, that would be better. “Yeah. Anyway, I need to go and finish off the food.”
I tried to escape into the kitchen, but my dad caught me before I got there. “Do you think it’s wise to befriend the first man you come across? I mean, he lives right across the hall from you and could be dangerous. There isn’t any escape if he’s a horrible man.”
“Dad, he seems fine, doesn’t he?” I spun around and gave him a defiant look. “You seemed to like all the answers he gave you to your questions.” I shrugged and twisted again. “It hardly matters, anyway. I’m not dating the guy; he is just a friend.” Sort of. “I’m going to finish dinner. I’ll call you all to the table once it’s cooked, alright?”
No one answered me, which filled me with relief. I couldn’t take this anymore – my thing with Zack was supposed to be kept very separate from my parents. The last thing I wanted was to complicate things by mixing up the two.
***
As I lay in bed later on that night, I felt utterly drained and emotionally exhausted. I wasn’t about to get a good night of sleep, either, since Meg was in bed with me. My parents were in her room, and there wasn’t anywhere else for her to go.
That was stressful!
Hearing my father make endless passive-aggressive remarks about me falling into yet another relationship with someone I barely knew sucked all the life and happiness from me. Even if I had no intention of becoming Zack’s girlfriend, I didn’t like being reminded of my past mistakes with Ben. After all that I’d been through, I didn’t ever want to think of him again.
I had met Ben on my first day of college, and I was absolutely blown away by him. Having spent my childhood in a very small school with very few students, I was more sheltered than I realized. With his shaggy blond hair and his cute blue eyes, I was instantly sucked in. I fell for him hard, right away, and that only got worse the more time I spent with him. Since he was in my class with me, I couldn’t avoid that. He was there all the damn time, and even when he wasn’t, he was on my mind. I truly was a schoolgirl obsessed.
It took Ben a while to get to me. He went through many other girls first, but when he did, it felt like the sun was shining on me. I would’ve done absolutely anything that he asked me; I thought he was the best thing in the world, which of course left me in all sorts of trouble.
I don’t really know if I didn’t notice that he certainly wasn’t exclusive to me, or if I simply chose to ignore it, but looking back, all the signs were there. He wouldn’t see me a lot of the time, everything he said to me was cryptic, and he was so protective of his phone. I was very open with him, I gave him everything, and now I could see that he didn’t give me anything in return.
Then I found out that I was pregnant. Of course, it instantly went downhill from there. All the obvious things happened: he accused me of trying to trap him, he hooked up with other girls in front of me, he treated me like I was nothing… But I still held out hope that once the shock subsided and the baby was born, he would change his mind.
He didn’t.
He didn’t come to her birth, even though I told him about it, he didn’t want to know when I asked him to come and meet his baby, and he never responded to any of my requests for child support. He made his feelings very clear.
Eventually, I heard that he had another baby on the way, one that he was actually happy about, and that was it for me. I couldn’t live in the same town with him and his perfect little family. I couldn’t let Meghan have a half brother or sister that she didn’t know. I had to get away, so to New York, we moved.
I certainly didn’t come here to make more mistakes. I wished my dad could see that.