Chapter Thirteen
Cade
December 11, Monday Evening
I stared out of the window at the thick, icy rain that fell outside. It had been miserable weather all day long and it left the evening much darker than it should’ve been. It felt closer to ten p.m. than six. I wasn’t one of those people who usually allowed the weather to affect my mood, but today I felt pensive and wasn’t totally sure why. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
I couldn’t help it. When the sound of my phone ringing broke through my thoughts, my heart lifted with an excited hope that it might be Alissa calling. I’d been trying to hold back after the weekend to give her some time to process what had happened, but at the same time, I really wanted to see her again.
Unfortunately, it was Matt’s name lighting up my screen.
“Hey, Matt, how’s it going?” I half expected the sounds of a party to ring out in the background of the call, but it sounded oddly quiet. “Where are you?”
“At the office.” He sounded irritated as he spoke. “Just finishing up a few things. I got a text from Henry, do you remember Henry?”
“From college?” I screwed up my nose at the memory of the dorky guy with too much money. He basically bought all his friends with epic parties. I’d liked it at the time, but Henry was one of those people I hadn’t thought about in years. “What did he want?”
“He’s in New York this weekend at some... I don’t know, technology thing. He’s like the richest guy on the planet now, doing something with computers. Anyway, he wants to hang out over the weekend, and I thought it sounded fun. What do you think?”
“Erm...” How could I tell him that didn’t sound fun to me at all? Maybe years ago, when we were all young and stupid, but that wasn’t the case anymore. “I don’t know. I think I might have plans.” Sadly, I also wanted to keep the weekend free in case Alissa wanted to do anything. I couldn’t admit that, though, I’d be mocked forever.
“What, like a date?” Matt said this as if it was the only thing that would excuse me from spending time with Henry, so I decided to roll with it.
“Sure.”
“With who?” he demanded. “I hope it’s a damn supermodel if you’re blowing me off.”
To me, Alissa was way better than a supermodel. I’d spent time with models, and they had all been vapid and vain. All they cared about was the way that they looked and who they were seen out with, which wasn’t what I wanted at all. My father, maybe, but me? No way.
I couldn’t exactly tell Matt the truth though, could I? He’d leap on it like it was the juiciest bit of gossip ever, and I really didn’t want the sweet, tender kisses I’d shared with Alissa to become that. She deserved more.
I’d definitely started spending time with her because of the money, but I liked her company, too. Alissa was a genuine, nice person to be around, and I wanted to get to know her better. I didn’t want anyone to know anything until then.
“It isn’t anyone that you know,” I told Matt firmly. “But yeah, this is the sort of woman that you don’t stand up, okay.”
“Ooh, keeping her all to yourself? Well, well, well, Cade, you are a dark horse. I guess I’ll just have to trawl your social media accounts to see if I can find any sign.”
“Good luck with that, you weirdo,” I laughed loudly. “Oh, and have a good time with Henry.”
“If your date doesn’t work out, you should still come out with us, you know. It’ll be amazing, just like old times.”
Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of! I thought silently. It’ll be drunk and messy and stupid. The sort of behaviour that we’re far too old for now!
“Sure, sounds great,” I answered aloud.
“You know, you seem different since Thanksgiving,” he mused, making my heart stop dead in my chest. I was reminded of Alissa’s comment about money changing people. I really didn’t want that to be the case when it came to me. “I don’t know what it is about you.”
My chest tightened, and I started to feel a bit sick. If everyone was telling me that I wasn’t myself, then maybe it was time to examine myself. “I don’t know; it’s just the holidays I think. Sometimes they make me feel a bit...pissed off.”
“Pissed off? Any reason? I’ve never seen you pissed off around Christmas before. You’re normally the life and soul of the party.”
“Not anymore!” I declared with gusto.
“This is the perfect time for you to be out partying, Cade. Christmas is the best time for finding women. They’re acting all crazy; it’s awesome. You need to take advantage of your youth and to have some fun.” I almost laughed at how impassioned he sounded with his speech. “Blow off your date this weekend, let’s have some fun!”
“I don’t know if I’m just about fun anymore,” I told my friend honestly. I wanted him to understand, even just a little bit. “I kinda feel like I’ve done all of that-”
“Not as much as me!” It was safe to say that Matt was proud of the number of notches on his bed post. He was a great believer in sowing his wild oats while he could. I didn’t discourage that attitude – it was up to him what he did – it wasn’t for me anymore. “You wish, man. I don’t think anyone could compete with me.”
“No, not as much as you, but I want something else. I don’t know,” I sighed loudly. “I can’t explain it; I just don’t feel the same way as I used to.” I didn’t want to make it as clear as I’ve grown up now, but I hoped that the meaning was there. I didn’t want to be a dick about it, but that was what had happened.
“Sounds like the holiday blues to me. I don’t think this is a real thing. I’m sure you’ll be back to normal eventually.” I wasn’t sure why he didn’t believe me, but there wasn’t any point in arguing with him while he was in this mood. “Unless it’s this chick you’re dating at the weekend. Is there something more going on there?”
Oh God, he just couldn’t let it go, could he? “Not exactly, I mean she’s someone I’ve seen a couple of times, but I felt that way before she came into the picture.”
“Hmmm.” Still, Matt didn’t seem to trust my words. “Right, I’m sure. It’s always that one good girl to tame the bad boy.”
“Okay, buddy, I definitely don’t think I can ever be classified as a bad boy!” I chuckled. “But maybe you’re right; I don’t know. I just want to see how things go for now.”
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see. You’ll be married in a moment. All settled down and bored with loads of kids running around at your feet.”
“No way, that’s a million miles off...”
“That’s what they all say.”
I rolled my eyes and huffed. He just wanted to freak me out, that was all. “I’m going on a date, Matt, that’s the end of it. Maybe I’ll come out next time.”
“Alright, well, if you change your mind, give me a call. I don’t know where we’ll be, you know what it’s like with Henry, but I’m sure it’ll be awesome.”
Eventually, after a few more moments of Matt trying to convince me that I was making a huge mistake by blowing off him and Henry, I managed to get him off the phone. I knew he wasn’t going to understand my need to move on, being so far from growing up himself, but still, that was harder than I thought it was going to be. I really had to overplay my feelings for Alissa to make it work.
Well, sort of. Maybe I wasn’t overplaying things at all; maybe she really was the “good girl” who could tame the “bad boy” within me. I couldn’t work anything out with her. I guess the only way I could make that happen was to spend more time with her, which meant I was going to have to take the brave step to call her.
I stared at my cell phone for a few moments before I brought up the names in my contact list. Alissa was the first one there, and I ran my fingers over the letters in her name. Even the way it was spelled was unique and beautiful. Just like her.
Screw it; I needed to speak to her. I hit dial before I could talk myself out of it.
“Hello?” Her sweet innocent voice bolted sparks into my heart.
“Hi, Alissa, how are you?” Why the hell was my heart pounding like a jack hammer? I felt like a school boy with a crush, calling up the school cheerleader. Only, when I was in school, I didn’t ever have to ask girls out. They always came to me. This was brand new territory for me.
“I’m okay.” She didn’t quite sound it, though, and I couldn’t help but wonder why. I truly wished that we were in a comfortable enough place that I could just ask her, but we hadn’t gotten to know each other well enough yet. “How are things with you?”
“I’m good. Listen, I was thinking...” I needed to improvise, to come up with a reasonable reason why I’d be calling her. I also wanted to plan for an awesome night out, without revealing my wealth. “My friend gave me two tickets to an opera performance that he can’t go to anymore, and I wondered if you might like to come with me?” That was cool and classy, wasn’t it? And another memorable date. It also brought her passion for music into the mix, which I hoped would help.
“That sounds great.” Enthusiasm rolled off her tongue in waves. “I haven’t been before, though. I’ve been to band performances and rehearsals and stuff, but never a proper performance. That sounds really exciting.”
“No, nor have I. I think it’s fancy, but it should be fun, shouldn’t it? Something a little different.”
“I would love that. Thank you very much for thinking of me. I’m really excited.”
My on-the-spot idea had worked absolutely perfectly. I was so pleased with myself. This would put a bright smile on Alissa’s face. “Great, I’ll see you on Saturday. I’ll pick you up at six.”
“See you then!”
As I hung up the phone, I realized my heart was beating even faster than before. I was responsible for cheering Alissa up. I could just picture her grinning to herself and clapping her hands with glee, all because of me. I liked the warm and fuzzy feeling that gave me. I also liked the idea that I was going to get a deeper insight into her world. I hoped that watching the opera would show how emotional the music could make me feel too.
“Time to book tickets then,” I muttered to myself while grabbing hold of my laptop. “And, maybe sort out a tuxedo, too.” I wanted this to be a night to remember, and if that meant looking amazing, then I would do my best. After all, Alissa was worth it.
I didn’t want to analyse the feelings I had for her right now; I wanted to just go with it. She made me feel good, and that was enough. There wasn’t any point in delving too deep; I could deal with all of that later.