Chapter Twenty-Eight
Alissa
December 29, Friday Evening
Elle’s stuff still lay around the apartment, but I didn’t have the heart to get rid of it yet. Even though her lack of presence was acutely obvious, I couldn’t help clinging onto the idea that what happened was all just a nightmare and hadn’t really happened. I just couldn’t quite wrap my head around the idea that Elle would do anything like that to me.
Every time I tried to accept it, each time I tried to acknowledge that she really did betray me for money, I kept recalling all the lovely things that she’d done. She was so sweet to me when my mother was awful; we’d had many late DVD nights just giggling and having fun, she was my rock, my confidant. What sort of person did something like that? It was utterly unbelievable.
I wasn’t the luckiest girl alive. That was a naïve thought. I had nothing but bad luck coming at me from every angle all the damn time. I kept thinking Cade would be the person I lost next, and it was tough not to push him away. Half of me wanted to cling onto him and wrap myself tightly around him, but the other part of me wanted to get rid of him before he hurt me.
It seemed I was destined to a life of loneliness. At least my mother won in that department.
I leaped to the door quickly at the sound of a knock, knowing there would only other be one face on the other side of the door, and I needed to see him again. I was in a desperate, needy mood right now which made me crazy.
“Cade, what is all of this?” He had bundles of gifts in his arms. “What have you done?”
“I wanted to get something to cheer you up, but I wasn’t sure what you’d want, so I picked you up a basket of chocolate and candy, some flowers, oh, and this adorable guy.” He showed me a teddy bear with a saxophone in its mouth. “I wanted one with a clarinet, but it seems that they don’t make those.”
“No,” I chuckled through some happy tears. “I don’t think the clarinet is a popular enough musical instrument to warrant a teddy bear.” I took it from him and snuggled it to my chest. “But thank you anyway, this guy is adorable.”
“Oh, he’s called Cade,” he insisted. “So, you don’t ever forget me.”
“I don’t think you’re that forgettable,” I laughed as I stepped aside for him to come inside. “But yes, Cade is a fine name for him. Now I’m gonna make some drinks; then we can pig out on that chocolate because that looks delicious.”
“No, you sit down. I’ll make the drinks.”
I took a seat on my couch and watched Cade as he shuffled around in the kitchen like he owned the place. I realized just how incredible it felt to have him here, especially now that I effectively lived alone. Luckily for me, he had managed to borrow more than he needed for the deal with Elle, so he also paid off the rent for the next couple of months. I hated for him to do that, but I didn’t have any choice anymore. If I couldn’t afford half the rent by myself with no job, then there was no way I could afford it all.
I would pay him back... somehow.
“So how are you doing today?” he asked me as he sat down beside me. “You look a little less pale than you did yesterday.”
“Well, the shock has worn off a little bit now... I think. Actually, no.” I shook my head rapidly from side to side. “It hasn’t, and I don’t think it will, but I suppose I’ll get used to it eventually.”
He flung one of his arms around me and gave me an adorable smile. “I’m sorry all that shit happened to you. It’s horrible, I know.”
“I’m starting to think that it’s my fault,” I admitted sadly, proving just how dark my brain had gone in the last few days. “I mean, people manipulate and take advantage of me all the time, maybe I deserve it. You saw through Elle’s rouse much faster than me, which makes me think I’m a damn idiot.”
“No.” Cade leaped up, and he gave me a fiery look. “Don’t think that way. None of this is your fault. No one deserves to be treated in the way you have; this is the sort of trouble money brings. Your mother shouldn’t have treated you like she has, that idiot boy you went out with deserves a fucking smack in the face and Elle... Well, I think she’s been twisted up in knots by Brad, but still, she deserves nothing.”
Woah. His impassioned speech turned my heart upside down and made it hammer like crazy. He looked so serious, like all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around me and protect me. I knew I should be an independent woman who would prefer to look after herself, but in all honesty, it felt nice to have this wonderful man wanting to take care of me. And, he sure as hell did a better job of it than I did.
“Your mother has screwed you up, and I hate her for that. She’s turned you around so badly that you don’t see what a gorgeous woman you are, you don’t see how much you have to offer the world, you don’t see just how incredible you are.” Cade stepped closer to me and ran his fingers lightly down my cheek. “You can’t see just how much of an impact you’ve had on me – you can’t see how much you’ve changed me.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe, but in a really good way. As I stared into his eyes, I felt everything inside of me click into place. It was as if I’d been a scrambled-up jigsaw puzzle for far too long and finally Cade slotted the pieces into place.
“You’ve changed me, too,” I breathlessly replied as he sat back down next to me. “In so many ways.” I touched my hand against his and fell in love with the way his skin felt against mine all over again. “I can’t even begin to tell you how...”
“I love you.” My eyes snapped open as I heard those three delicious words falling out of his mouth. Much as I felt that way about him, I thought that he was miles off himself. “I really love you, Alissa. You deserve to be loved wholeheartedly, and that’s the way that I feel about you.”
“You do?” Tears balled up in the corner of my eyes. “Because I love you, too. So damn much.”
And then his mouth was on mine, and I lost myself between his lips. He loved me; he really did love me. Even if everything else were horrible, at least I would always have that. With a surge of confidence racing through my veins, I flung one of my legs over him, and I straddled him. I sat on top of him and rested my forehead against his so I could lose myself in his eyes.
As we looked at one another, all our memories flooded me of our short but beautiful time together. The time he saw me on the street pulling a condom out of my music case, the meal he bought me in the diner, the night at the opera when I really started to feel things. Then, of course, there were all the wonderful, sexual experiences that we’d shared.
I loved him with everything, and he did me.
I crashed my lips into his once more and kissed him so passionately everything flowed from me. I didn’t even pause just to enjoy the kiss, either, I ran my fingers down his body and pulled his sweater off him. The neediness inside of me had grown, turning into something else entirely, and now I was desperate for him in every possible way.
There was a sparkling fire inside of me, a raging burning sensation that needed to be tamed – and there was only one man who could do it. Although this time, I didn’t want to give Cade control of my body. I wanted to control him; I wanted to give him a similar pleasure to what he’d given me.
I wanted to taste him.
I slid down off the couch until my knees hit the floor, then I yanked the belt on his pants until they’d fallen open and he was close to spilling out.
“Oh God, Alissa,” he groaned while allowing his head to loll backward with desire. His eyes fell closed and from the heat emanating from his boxers I could tell I was driving him wild. I had him exactly where I wanted him.
As I pulled Cade’s throbbing cock free and I traced my fingers down it, my heart raced like crazy. He was so thick, so hard, so powerful...and I was about to turn him into a trembling wreck. That brought a wicked smile to my face.
I leaned in and inhaled him deeply, enjoying his masculine scent. He smelled so wonderful that my mouth watered. I couldn’t wait to wrap my lips around him... But first, I leaned in and ran sweet, chaste kisses up and down his length. I took the lead from him on this one; I recalled him doing something similar to me and how it drove me wild.
Just as it seemed Cade could barely breathe anymore, I flicked my tongue all over his tip, loving his salty taste. I felt fizzy and excitable as I realized that all this desire was just for me. Then I pushed my mouth over him and took him down to the back of my throat as I could without gagging.
I felt sexy and powerful holding his trembling cock between my lips. I felt like a goddess; I felt worthy. I felt a heat burning between my legs as I ran my mouth all over him. I felt like I could lose it without him even touching me.
“Oh fuck, Alissa, you have no idea how good this feels,” he moaned as his hands knotted up into my hair. He guided me up and down his length at a pace he enjoyed, and I continued to move my tongue all over him as I moved until it seemed he could take it no longer. “No, I need to feel you,” he gasped. “I need to be inside you.”
He pushed me onto my back and whipped my pants down. I fell back willingly, feeling that intense need to have him, too, and I loudly screamed as he slipped his wet, trembling erection inside of me. There was one good thing about living alone – I didn’t need to worry about anyone walking in on me as I made to love to the man I loved with all my being.
He thrust in and out of me, moving faster and faster, all the while pressing his hot sticky body against me. Even though the hard floor was painful against my back, it did nothing to dull my bliss. The hot pool of pleasure filled me completely, causing me to hum and vibrate under the pressure of it. My lungs were stripped of air, my heart could barely beat, and my head spun with it all. My back launched itself off the ground as I became overwhelmed by the bliss.
Cade was my everything. I loved him; it really was that simple. It didn’t matter what else was going on around me, that much was true.