Chapter Thirty-Four
Lila (Wednesday)
Oh, my God, what is happening to me? All my resolve to stay away from Xander for his own good was flowing right out the window. I knew that I was weak around him, that he made me too wobbly for words, but this was on another level entirely.
I wanted him. He was giving me an intense, desire-filled look, one that had my knees knocking together and my stomach feeling like jelly. Was there any point in holding back when we both wanted to be together? Would it just be stubbornness if I insisted that he stayed away from me when it was clear that neither of us wanted that?
He was leaning in, his lips were coming toward me, and my heart was pounding loudly, making my decision for me. I liked him... More than liked him. I was steadily falling deeper and deeper in love with him. I couldn’t hold back from that anymore.
And then his lips were entangled with mine, his fingers working their way around the back of my neck. I reached out to him and clung to him tightly, never wanting to let him go.
This felt right. Every time Xander even touched me, my body went into a frenzy, but in the best way possible. I felt incredible with him, and after all that I’d just been through, incredible was exactly what I needed.
No, I needed more. So much more.
I’d have to take control of the situation if I wanted Xander, because he would be too gentle and cautious around me now. He would assume that because I’d been in the hospital for so long, I had to be treated with kid gloves, like a china doll. To try and dispel that worry from him mind, I bit down gently on his bottom lip and started to nibble.
“Oh, God, I’ve missed you,” Xander groaned, pulling me in closer to him. Our legs were fully touching now, and there was a zinging electricity racing between us. It had every inch of my body sparking into flames. “So, so much.”
I pulled back, just long enough to glance around the room, and I instantly knew that I couldn’t do what I had in mind in here. Kyle might be out for now, but there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t walk back in, and getting caught in the act was the last thing that I wanted. The lack of privacy was the only bad side to living with my brother.
“Come on.” I sent Xander a wicked smile and extended my hand to him. “Let’s go into my bedroom.”
“Really?” he gasped in shock. “But... aren’t you sick?”
“Not too sick for you.” I rolled my eyes to highlight how ridiculous I thought his comment was. “Now, come on; you aren’t turning me down, are you?”
“Oh, no, of course not!”
As his fingers laced through mine, I felt a powerful warmth creeping through my body, and my pulse kicked up again. I hadn’t expected this day to go this way. To be honest, I hadn’t thought I’d see him again for a very long time. Now he was here, and I was leading him into my bedroom, shaking my hips in what I hoped was a seductive way as I walked.
As soon as I closed the door behind me, I spun around and yanked him by his shirt toward me. His body pressed up against mine as we kissed hard and passionately. His tongue darted in and out of my mouth, sending a million and one sensations tearing through my body. I walked backward, not letting go of him even for a second, and soon we crashed against my bed where I tumbled backward into a sitting position.
“Are you sure about this?” Xander asked me once more, a deep concern lacing his tone. “Aren’t you supposed to be resting?”
“If you’re that worried, then I’ll just have to look after myself.” I winked and lay my body back onto the bed. Then I stared deeply into his eyes and slowly, tantalizingly slid my fingers down, under the waistline of my pants, dipping them into my underwear...
“Oh, God, no.” He dove on me rapidly and moved his lips onto my neck. “There’s no way I’m missing out on any of the fun.”
As we slowly peeled the clothes off one another, I couldn’t help but notice a difference from the last couple of times we’d been together. There was much more driven by romance than by passion. It was still there, burning embers under the surface, but we were taking it slower. We wanted to explore each other’s bodies, every single inch. Xander ran his lips all over my legs, my chest, my neck, even my toes, and I touched all of him, enjoying the smoothness in some areas and hardness in others.
My heart fluttered, and my stomach churned. There was a hot love burning so brightly in my chest I felt like it might burst free at any given moment.
Then I felt Xander edging closer and closer to where I was pulsating for him, aching for him, practically screaming for him. The center of my core needed him so desperately, I actually felt myself bite down into his shoulder. He didn’t react, though – if anything, it only spurred him on.
“Oh, God,” he moaned as he slid a finger inside of me. “You’re so hot, so wet.”
“All for you,” I panted breathlessly, throwing my head back as ecstasy crashed over me. “You’re the only one who makes me feel this way.” I wasn’t lying. I had never felt so turned on by anyone before. Xander ignited a fire within me that flamed powerfully through my whole body.
He slid another finger into me, then another, and my back buckled. My breasts connected with his chest, my stomach was pressed against his abs, and I could feel his breath tickling my neck.
I was already about to lose it.
“I need you,” I muttered desperately. “Now. I need you now.”
Luckily, Xander seemed to be able to sense how serious I was, and he moved his hand away, knotting his fingers up into my hair. Then I could feel his thick, pulsating length teasing my entrance, begging to be let in. My God, did I want to let him in. I moved my thighs farther apart, allowing his weight to fall heavier onto me, giving him the space he needed to move that powerful erection into me.
“Oh, shit,” I growled as he filled me up. “You feel so good.”
He moved slowly at first, testing the waters with me, but as I moved harder and faster against him, letting him know what I wanted, he complied happily and followed my lead. I needed him, all of him; he was making me forget everything that I’d been through recently, and I adored him for that.
The hot pool filled my stomach, and I knew then that the bliss was coming. It crept slowly, working its way through my veins, consuming each limb, every finger, every part of me from the top to the bottom. It intensified with each passing second, turning into a pressure, one that could explode like fireworks at any given second.
I clung tightly to Xander, holding him as closely as I could manage while still staring into his eyes. I wanted him to see every part of me. I wanted him to experience my soul, and I wanted the same from him. I wanted the bond we had to grow even deeper as we got to know every part of each other.
And then the waves crashed over me, swallowing me whole. As a thrilling pleasure zinged all over me, I buckled and screamed, letting everything burst free from my chest.
“Oh, God, I love you, Xander, I love you...”
It wasn’t until we lay next to each other, panting breathlessly, that I realized what I said. As that horrifying thought hit me, I stared at him out of the corner of my eye, trying to judge his reaction. Would he assume that it was just a heat of the moment thing? Did I want that?
On the one hand, it’d save the embarrassment of saying my feelings aloud way too quickly, but on the other, I did feel that way. Maybe it was a little quick, but I knew with utter certainty that life was far too short for me to worry about stuff like that.
“You know I feel it, too, right?” Xander abruptly turned to face me, propping his body up onto his elbow. “You know that I love you.”
Oh, wow, that made me feel utterly incredible inside. He loved me; he felt the same way that I did. We were on the same page in this romance. We were connected in every way possible. Even with all the bad stuff going on in my life, Xander was making me feel amazing.
“You do?” I gasped, unable to disguise the happiness in my voice.
“Of course, I do.” He grinned happily at me. “I wouldn’t have said it, otherwise. I think I felt it from the very first moment I saw you. I just didn’t recognize it for what it was then, you know?”
“Yeah... I think maybe I did, too.”
I recalled that moment, backstage at the fundraiser, when I realized that he was the man who had given all the money to the orphans. My heart reached out to him, even then. I had the strong sense that he was going to alter me in some way, not that I knew quite how much.
“So, where do we go from here?” I smiled happily at Xander, love filling my eyes as I spoke. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was, how happy I was with him. I couldn’t believe how he made me feel.
“Well, you need to rest up, right? Which means you won’t be able to work. And, I’m sure with all the stress, Kyle won’t want to be leaving your side much, either.”
“Right.” I sat up straighter, starting to sense that this conversation was going somewhere. I just couldn’t for the life of me work out where.
“So, why don’t you guys move in with me for a bit? You know how huge my house is. It’s way too big for me on my own. It could use a bit of life injected into it, and we can all have our own privacy, too. It’s closer to the hospital, so we can get you to your outpatient appointments easily. It’s close to the studio, so if Kyle wants to come in and do some recording, he can, and neither of us will be too far away from you.”
“Oh, no.” I shook my head sharply. “I could never do that to you. You’ve already done so much for me.”
“But I want to do it, I wouldn’t suggest it, otherwise. I want you both with me. And come on, you must see that it makes sense. You don’t want to add financial difficulties to your list of issues now, do you?”
“Wow, okay... Well...” Excitement grew as all the possibilities flooded my mind. Is this possible? Can we do this? It certainly felt like the next logical step. “Yeah, okay. Well, obviously, I’ll have to talk to Kyle about it, but I think that’s a great plan! Thank you, so much.”
He wrapped his arms tightly around me, pulling me close, and as he did, I felt my chest swell with pride and love. This was the best thing to ever happen to me. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was, and it seemed that I was about to get a whole lot luckier.