Chapter Thirty
Alissa
January 1, New Year’s Day, A Few Hours After Midnight
Ring, ring... Ring, ring...
Ring, ring... Ring, ring...
“Huh? What?” I quietly murmured to myself as the horrible sound filled my dream. I was lying on the beach, feeling the hot sand as Cade lay next to me. It was peaceful, this noise came from nowhere. It seemed to fill the sky and hurt my eardrums... “Oh.”
Suddenly, I realized that the noise was a real one and that I needed to answer the call. I leaped out of bed with a pounding heart and grabbed it off the side before it could wake up Cade, peacefully lying next to me. Well, he stirred for a second as I dove out of the bed, but he soon started snoring again.
A cursory glance at the clock told me it was just after 3 a.m., which had to be a bad sign. I raced out into the front room and hit the answer button.
“Mom?” I panted. “Are you okay? Is everything alright? Is Jacob okay?”
“Oh, fucking right, that’s marvelous, that is,” her snivelling reply came loudly. “I call you for a nice chat, and instantly your thought is my husband. Wonderful. And, you try to tell me that you don’t want to screw his brains out.”
“Mom.” I tried to remain calm, despite the intense panic that I felt inside. “It’s three in the morning. No one calls at that time without an emergency. It’s hardly a surprise that I would think the worst, and since you are the one calling me, it makes sense that it might be an emergency with Jacob.”
I felt terrible about the whole money mess with Cade and Elle, but there was a part of me that felt so grateful that I hadn’t gone to Jacob for the money, especially when it all turned out to be a lie. I would’ve gone back to abusive phone calls every single day.
“Oh, my sweet, thick idiot daughter.” Mom laughed nastily. “It might be 3 a.m. in New York, but I’m on the other side of the world in Europe. There is such a thing as a time difference. It’s actually nine here.”
My breaths fell dramatically out of my mouth, I felt like I’d been dragged through the middle of a horror movie and now I was out on the lawn, realizing that the house wasn’t haunted after all.
“Mom, when someone calls in the middle of the night, rational thinking doesn’t always come into it.”
“Mom, when someone calls in the middle of the night, rational thinking doesn’t always come into it,” she repeated in a mocking tone of voice. She wanted to rile me up, and I felt ashamed to be falling for it. “God, do you ever listen to yourself? You’re so boring.”
I slid my eyes closed and forced the tears to stay inside. A new year sob down the phone would be exactly what she wanted. I needed things to be different now. I needed her to see she couldn’t control me anymore. I had become stronger, better, more powerful. I couldn’t allow one bitchy call from her to send me right back into the ditch I’d just about clawed my way out of.
It was a shame I’d decided to sleep naked because now I felt cold and ashamed as I padded through the front room. I glanced around for anything to cover me up, but unfortunately, all the clothing had been left in the bedroom. Instead, I would have to be content with crossing my arm across my chest and half crouching down.
“I take it this isn’t a Happy New Year call,” I told her dryly. “So why don’t you just tell me what it’s about so I can go back to sleep.”
“Ooh, feisty,” she laughed horribly again. “I have to say I prefer it when you’re snide. It gets a little boring when you just weep like a baby.”
“I’m about to hang up...” I pulled the phone away from my ear, but I stopped when I heard my mom speaking out once more.
“I want to congratulate yourself on your little scheme.”
Despite myself, I was drawn back in. “What scheme? What are you talking about?”
“Your little plan, you know the one.” When I didn’t answer, she continued. “The one where you think you’re conning Cade, but actually he’s the one conning you.”
Cade. My heart stopped, and bile rose in my throat. What the hell was she going on about now? And, why did I have the horrible feeling that everything was about to fall apart? With everything else such a mess, he was the only thing I had. I really didn’t want to lose him too.
Then again, I couldn’t be a sucker again.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I told her thickly. “Just get to the point.”
“Oh, don’t act so innocent with me, you know it doesn’t work. You’re trying to lure Cade in because of the billion dollars.”
“The Bitcoin thing?” I exclaimed, probably giving myself away totally. I had no idea it was that much money!
“Bitcoin,” she sneered. “Do you even hear yourself? No, the money that his father gave him. I know that you’re after him for that, but do you really think that will work? How can you not see that Cade will see right through you? I’ve told him exactly what you are anyway. I’ve had a little talk with him.”
“You have?” I was probably focusing on the wrong thing. I just didn’t like the idea of Mom having anything to do with Cade, at all.
“I have, and he gave me enough information to learn that you have your whore legs wrapped around him. What, your plan failed with Jacob, and now you must go after the son? Funny how it only happened after he got rich.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I snapped back angrily. “I have no idea what sort of money Cade has, and I don’t know what you think you know, but there isn’t anything going on that’s any of your business.”
I felt weary, and I desperately wanted to hang up the phone, but I didn’t have the strength. I knew that she’d call and call, and it would get bigger and bigger until it lasted for months. I didn’t have the energy for that again.
Plus, I didn’t want to admit it aloud, but I was curious as to what she was going on about. Cade did seem to have an excessive amount of money, and he was definitely keeping secrets from me. Maybe that was why I hadn’t been invited to his home because it would instantly give him away.
Still, I wasn’t sure why his money would affect me. I didn’t know, so I couldn’t exactly be classed as a gold digger, could I?
“Oh, for goodness sake, you two deserve each other. Always trying to deny what’s blatantly obvious. It’s only someone as dumb as Jacob that wouldn’t be able to see it.” Jacob, the husband she purported to love. “If you’re fucking your brother, just admit it. It might be sick as hell, but be proud to be a disgusting whore.”
I slumped onto the couch and curled my naked arms around myself feeling sick to my stomach. I didn’t like to think of what Cade and I shared in such a seedy manner. It wasn’t like that; we were in love, but how could I defend that to this horrible woman?
“So, you’re actually trying to tell me that your legs didn’t open the moment you learned about the money.”
“This is the moment I’ve learned about the money,” I rasped a little too honestly. “I didn’t know anything about it before now. He never said anything about it.”
“Ha-ha, so you really don’t know?” Mom exclaimed gleefully now that she had a stick to beat me with. “Cade didn’t tell you that his father gave him a billion dollars to hang out with you while we’re in Europe?”
My head spun, I had to clamp my lips together to stop vomit from spilling out. This was all too familiar; it reminded me of Luke. I thought I was over all of that, but it seemed it was here to rear its ugly head once more. I instantly assumed this was the truth because it was exactly the same as before.
I was never going to escape – I could never trust anyone again. Everyone I let in let me down. I knew this was going to happen. I should have been more sensible. I knew I was falling too fast, I knew I was diving in too fast, but I didn’t do anything to stop myself. I was an idiot.
“Of course, I don’t know if Jacob told him to fuck you, but I don’t think he knows quite how manipulative you are.”
“Mom, I didn’t know anything about this-”
“Oh well, you can keep pretending that all you want, but Cade will see you for what you really are soon enough.”
That was just typical. I was the one who had been manipulated and hurt. Cade had lied to me and hung out with me like a fucking pity party so he could get his money. I was the Goddamn charity case, and Mom was acting like I had something to hide. If I’d had anything about me other than shock, I might have tried to defend myself...but I just felt hollow and numb.
“And just you wait and see, I’ll end this relationship just like I did the last one. Since anyone you let into your bed does so for monetary gain, so we all know that they have a price...”
I kept the phone pressed up against my ear as Mom continued her tirade, but I didn’t hear anything that she had to say. Instead, all I could think about was Cade picking up his big check to spend time with me. I couldn’t help picturing him updating his father about our relationship. Seedy little phone calls after every time we spent together.
She’s sad at the moment... Oh, she’s a bit better now... I’ve been fucking her better...
Or maybe he didn’t tell his father about the sex – maybe that was a sordid little secret that he kept to himself. An added bonus, a secret thrill. The love was obviously bullshit. He would never have done this if he felt that way, so it was safe to assume it was all a total lie.
Fat tears cascaded down my cheeks as I realized I’d been duped once again. Now I had no one. Literally, no one left. I was all alone in this Goddamn world, and nothing was ever going to change that.
“So, I suppose in a way this is a Happy New year call,” Mom concluded now that she’d suitably ruined my life. “I’ll see you when I get back to America. I guess we should having family dinners now, and I might even start coming to them. They’ll certainly be more interesting these days-”
I cut her off, but it wasn’t soon enough to make me feel any better. Instead, I stared fearfully at my bedroom door wondering what the hell I was going to do when Cade came out of that door. I would have to confront him. I couldn’t let that one pass. But what would I say?
I grabbed a pillow a shoved my face into it while I sobbed pathetically. All the people that had let me down flooded my mind, and I honestly felt like I’d reached the end of my tether. Everyone that picked me up then pushed me right back down again, and I could hardly stand it.
I was never going to be good enough for anyone. It was time just to give up trying.