Chapter Twenty-One
Zack
Wednesday
I hopped a little awkwardly from foot to foot while I waited for Olivia to answer the door. My fever had well and truly run its course, but the determination was still there running through me, and I wanted to take action while the bravery was there, too. I asked Olivia out on a date for a reason: I wanted her to be mine, and I’d be damned if I let the moment pass me by.
At least... I was pretty sure that I asked her out on a date. If that was all a crazed dream, then this was about to be very embarrassing! Still, it was what I wanted either way, so it was best to just go with it.
“Oh.” Olivia swung the door open, looking utterly adorable in a pair of sweatpants, a blue faded tee shirt, with her hair pulled back into a ponytail. She had the appearance of someone who was on a mission. “Zack... What are you doing here?”
My smile faded a bit. We were friends now, weren’t we? Couldn’t I come to visit once in a while? She turned up to my place whenever she wanted to, without being invited. Not that I was complaining about that, of course. “I came to say hello.”
“Oh, right, okay...”
Olivia’s words trailed off as I pushed past her to get inside. I didn’t want to give her the chance to blow me off now, not when I’d worked up the courage to come and speak with her. “I’m feeling much better, by the way.”
“Yes, of course.” She slapped her palm against her forehead. “I didn’t forget that you were sick, I’ve just been crazy busy. I’m glad you’re much better, it was a bit of a worry there.”
“All thanks to the expert help,” I teased. “Thank you very much for that, by the way.”
“Oh well, it was no trouble. Lark needed help; he was a mess. Honestly, I’ve never seen anyone so dramatic.”
There was a question in her eyes, something I could tell that she wanted to ask, but it seemed she couldn’t find the words. I wanted to pursue this, particularly because I had a feeling it was something that Lark might have said, but I didn’t want to get distracted and derailed. If I chatted about something different, then the fire in my belly might die, leaving me still without any answers.
“So, you didn’t answer my question,” I started cryptically. “I asked you a question, and you kind of ignored it. I guess I’m here to find out why that might be.”
“Huh?” She screwed up her nose in confusion, which only made me want to kiss her more. “What are you talking about? What question?”
“You’re really going to make me say it aloud?” I shook my head and chuckled quietly. “Again? Okay, well here it goes. I asked you to go out on a date with me, and you didn’t say anything.”
Her cheeks tinged pink as a flush filled her whole body. I hoped that I was affecting her in that way for all the right reasons. It would be killer to learn that she didn’t actually want me for more than an odd screw here and there. It’d make random meetings in the hallway very awkward.
Maybe I’d finally have to take Lark up on his advice and move.
“I... I thought you were hallucinating...” she stuttered. “I thought that you were just saying things because you had the flu. I guess I thought you were delusional, which is why I didn’t answer you.” She stared piercingly into my eyes. “It isn’t the sort of thing that you ask someone when you have a fever, is it?”
I shivered lightly under her intense gaze. Was she serious about this or was it just a way to blow me off kindly? I could’ve backed down to keep my pride, but this felt much more than dignity. I needed an answer, and I had to get it now. I wouldn’t be able to sleep again if I didn’t.
“Why the hell wouldn’t you think I was serious?” I bit out, maybe a bit too angrily. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, you did have a temperature of one hundred and three point five. That was my first clue.”
“No.” I gave her a look back that was just as fierce. “I was deadly serious. I’m tired of you showing up for random sex whenever you feel like it. I want something real; I want the whole deal. Next time we sleep together, I want you to stay with me afterward?”
“Next time?” She cocked her head as though I was crazy, but I knew we could both feel the burning chemistry between us. It sizzled like eggs in a pan; it was absolutely undeniable. “Who says there’s going to be a next time?”
I laughed loudly. “We both know that there’s going to be a next time!”
“You... You don’t even know me.” I could tell that she was searching for excuses now, but I felt certain that was out of fear rather than anything else. “I’m basically a stranger to you.”
“I know you well enough.” I placed my hand on her hip and gently rubbed my thumb up and down. But in a desperate attempt to keep me away from her, Olivia shook my hand off.
“You’re a fantastic physical therapist, you’re a wonderful mom who would do anything for her child, and I also know that you’re a perfect match for me...sexually.” There went that blush again. Damn, she was gorgeous when she felt flushed. “I dare you to disagree with me.”
I put my hand back on her waist, and this time, she left it where it was. “Tell me that you don’t feel this chemistry, tell me that it doesn’t intrigue you and that you don’t want to know more about it, let me know that you aren’t interested in seeing where this could lead us… You tell me that, and I’ll back right off.”
“It takes more than just chemistry to make something work.” She pouted out her lips and folded her arms across her chest. “You can’t just tell me that everything will be okay because we have great sex. Life isn’t like that.”
I stepped backward to give her some breathing space, and I spotted a glimpse of regret in her eyes as I did. I smirked – but secretly and to myself. I didn’t want to piss her off while we were having such an intimate, serious conversation. I just knew that wouldn’t go down well.
“I understand that,” I replied gravely. “I know that it takes more to make something work. I’m not denying that at all, I’m simply asking for a chance. Let me take you out on a date. Let me get to know you better. Let us have the wonderful sex without you running away like a scared chicken afterward. Let’s really try and build something here.”
I scanned my eyes over her apartment desperately trying to find something that would help highlight my point. A glint of silver caught my eye, over on the dining room table, so I walked towards it without even really thinking.
“What are you...?” Olivia asked. “Wait, where are you going?”
I picked up what appeared to be a medal and rolled it between my fingers. She used to be a volleyball champion, probably in high school, but it explained the lean, athletic body. For a moment, I imagined her on a volleyball pitch, hitting the ball around with a group of friends, all while laughing and smiling. It was a beautiful image.
“See, I didn’t know you played volleyball. What else don’t I know about you? All stuff I would love to spend time discovering.”
“I just got those out to show Meghan,” she insisted. “It isn’t a big deal, really. Just something that I used to do in school.”
“That’s the sort of thing I want to know about you,” I chuckled. “The stuff that you don’t think matters. I find that fascinating.”
I wasn’t lying when I said any of that. Olivia was the first person to captivate me in a very long time really. I did want to know all there was to know.
“What about Meghan?” she eventually asked quietly. “It isn’t just you and me, is it?”
“What about Meghan? She’s a sweet kid, and I like her.”
It was funny, the one thing I thought was going to be an issue, really wasn’t. I loved Meg. She actually added to Olivia’s allure. I wanted to take care of both of them. “There isn’t anything to worry about there.”
This time as Olivia’s face turned red; it was with rage. Clearly, I’d said something terribly wrong, and ice cold guilt tore through me while I waited for my comeuppance.
“That isn’t enough!” she yelled. “Just because you tell me not to worry, I shouldn’t worry? Are you serious! I’m all that Meghan has – it’s my job to worry about her. Not yours. You can’t act like you understand what it’s like to be solely responsible for a child.”
“I know...” She had me there, but she had no intention of allowing me to defend myself.
“What happens if we break up and my daughter is left heartbroken, hmm? What then? Will you still be telling me not to worry when she has to see you in the hallway knowing that you ripped her heart from her chest?”
That was clearly about both of them, and it was a concern that seemed so far in the future – if at all – that it made me want to laugh. “You’re worrying about breaking up when we aren’t even together yet. Don’t you think that’s a bit insane when I’m just asking you on a date?”
“Insane?” she screamed. “Insane? No, for me, it isn’t. I have to plan ahead. I have responsibilities. I can’t just do what I want on a whim.”
“Don’t act like I haven’t thought this through.” I didn’t mean to rise to the bait, but I couldn’t help myself. Yes, I didn’t have a child, but I wasn’t some young idiot playing life by ear. I really wanted this, I knew that it could work, and it was all I’d been thinking about for ages. I also hadn’t imagined this conversation taking such a negative turn, which did nothing to improve my mood. “I know what I’m doing.”
“Plus, I’m your physiotherapist,” Olivia continued as if she hadn’t even heard me. “How do you think that will go down? I could lose my job over this!”
“Don’t you think we’ve overstepped that mark already?” I wasn’t trying to be cruel, I just wanted her to see that it wouldn’t be a problem, but the death stare she gave me proved I’d made a mistake. “I’m just saying that it won’t be an issue, no one needs to know.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” She shrugged helplessly. “I can’t just jump into this haphazardly; I need to be smart. I have so many things that could be affected by this. Even if it is what I want, I have to be practical.”
Even if it is what I want. That statement alone had my heart skipping a beat. She wanted this; she wanted me, she was just afraid. I needed to make her see that her fear was unfounded, that I would be good to her – no matter what.
I didn’t think anymore, I simply grabbed her and kissed her hard. I pressed my lips against hers and tried to convey all of the emotions she needed to hear. At first, Olivia stiffened her back, but soon enough she fell into me. It was hard for her to resist what her heart desired. Now it was up to me to be worth that risk.