Chapter Thirty-Six
Alissa
The Next Day
I checked my watch once more, noticing that the minute hand was getting ever closer to the dreaded 5 p.m. “Four fifty-five,” I muttered to myself. “Time to make a decision one way or another.”
I was dressed to meet Cade; I wanted to be prepared just in case. I had a bright red sweater and a pair of skinny jeans on, my hair was tied back, and I’d even gone as far as to put some makeup on. I didn’t want to desperately want to see him at the last moment just to be in my sweat pants. I needed to look good, in case. If I saw Cade, I wanted to make the right impression – I wanted to make him realize what he’d lost.
I paced up and down my apartment without going anywhere near the window. I didn’t want to see him out there in case he changed my mind without me meaning to. He had such a good-looking face that I feared I might fall back into his arms without even thinking about it. I needed to remain strong, to keep my head screwed on. I had to remember that Cade had taken the money for his father to hang out with me.
Either that or he’d been given the money as a gift, and then his dad had asked him to hang out with me. Now that I was calmer, I could see that there was a huge difference there. If the money and the request to hang out with me were two unique things, then maybe he wasn’t totally the bad guy after all.
God damn it, I had to see what he wanted, just in case.
I moved rapidly towards the door as I made that decision and started walking down the stairs in my apartment building. As I bounded downwards, my heart raced, my throat burned dryly, and there was a tingling sensation racing right through me. I didn’t know if I was making the right choice or not, but I needed to see. I needed that closure. Maybe I was just trying to convince myself that there was potentially something good to come from this meeting because I really wanted to go. Despite myself, I wanted to see his face again. If I didn’t, I would never know.
As I got to the front door, I paused for a moment longer and checked my watch again. I had two minutes to go until the deadline. Did I wait inside for those final moments, to wait for Cade to be there first, or did I go out early and pick a pose for him to find me in? I didn’t know which answer terrified the most.
In the end, it was the sound of a crowd outside that dragged me out. I couldn’t work out what was going on, and I was intrigued. I figured I might have to find Cade if there was something unexpected going on. What I didn’t expect was to walk right out into him standing there in a suit.
“Cade?” I asked him carefully as I glanced behind him. “What’s going on?”
There were onlookers crowding around, chatting among themselves as if they weren’t totally sure what was going on either. There were even a couple of bored cops at the side lines, as if they were there to ensure that everyone behaved themselves.
But that wasn’t the most surprising thing of all. The entirety of the New York Grand Orchestra was situated behind Cade all on folding chairs as if they belonged there.
“What is this?” I asked again. “What are all these people doing here?”
Cade didn’t say anything. Instead, he gave me that bright, wonderful smile of his and stepped to one side. Then he indicated for the band to start playing.
At first, I felt a little awkward. It didn’t matter that there were lots of other people about, and the New York Grand Orchestra was playing a song for me. Romantic, lovely, but strange all the same.
And then I realized that they were playing an arrangement of “Rhapsody in Blue” and my heart leaped up into my throat. My favorite song. I’d only mentioned that to Cade once as a bit of small talk when we went to see the opera. It wasn’t even a memorable conversation, yet still, he seemed to recall that one tiny detail about me.
“I remember everything you tell me,” he whispered into my ear. “Because I find you so fascinating.”
“This is too much.” I clutched at my chest and swooned at the wonderful feeling that I had swimming around inside of me. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“I know it’s a grand gesture,” he continued to speak quietly to me. “I didn’t do it as a display of money or anything; I just want you to know how much you mean to me. I want you to know that I appreciate everything that’s important to you, and it means a lot to me, too. Never would I have tried to enjoy something like this before and now I absolutely love it. That’s because of you. You’ve changed me, Alissa.”
You’ve changed me. I never knew how much I wanted to hear those words until he said them to me. When Cade snaked his arms around my waist from behind, I let him because the moment was so wonderful and magical. Then we watched in silence as the orchestra got through the rest of the song.
Hearing the music that I loved, the song that inspired me, being played live right in front of my building just for me was a phenomenal experience that I never wanted to end. It filled me with so many positive emotions; I actually wanted to weep with glee, which was certainly a good change from just weeping. I was filled with a sense of positivity, a motivation that I could do this, too, if I really wanted to.
Once “Rhapsody in Blue” finished and the New York Grand Orchestra fell into a quieter, softer song, I twisted my body around to finally have the conversation we so desperately needed to have. Admittedly, I’d softened, but I didn’t want to delve into anything without making sure everything was clear.
“I’m sorry,” he decided to start off right away. “I know that I should have told you everything right away – believe me, I can see what a mistake that was now. I just didn’t want you to look at me differently. You kept saying that money changes people and I never wanted that to be me. I didn’t want you to start looking at me differently.” He shrugged and blushed. “I know that’s silly, but I like the way you look at me.”
I liked the way he looked at me, too. It drove me a little nuts, actually, and staring at him now he didn’t seem like he had a deep dark secret furrowing around inside of him. He didn’t look like someone that would be weak willed enough to go along with what my mother wanted. With Luke, there was always something a tiny bit feeble about him. I’d felt like he was a push over before I knew that he was.
I never got that impression from Cade.
“And, I would never have anything to do with your mother,” he promised me insistently as if he could read my thoughts. “I would never do anything to hurt you purposely; I hope you know that about me.”
I did know that about him. I did feel like he was a good person deep down. I got so wrapped up in my mother’s evil words that I didn’t want to see anything else, but looking into Cade’s eyes, I couldn’t help knowing he wasn’t a mistake. If anything, letting him go would be the error.
“I can’t let you back into my life again, not without knowing for certain that you won’t ever lie to me,” I warned him. “I don’t want to be manipulated again – I can’t, not after everything I’ve been through. I hope you understand that...”
“I know, I know.” He took my hands in his and gave me the most wonderful smile. “I know that it’ll take time, I just want you to give me a chance. All I need is one shot to prove I’m not a bad person.”
My resolve puddled around me; how the hell was I supposed to refuse such an offer? I really wanted to try things out with Cade, the feeling that I had for him, the chemistry that we shared was far too powerful for me to turn my back on.
I owed it to the both of us.
“Fine,” I finally conceded, nudging him playfully with my hip. “I’m happy for that, but in the spirit of being honest, I want to know where you live now. I don’t want you to hide it from me anymore. I know you aren’t really moving.”
“Actually, when I said that it wasn’t a total lie,” He told me with a grin. “I’d just moved into a new place that I bought with the money, and everything wasn’t totally unpacked yet...” His words trailed off as he saw the intense look that I was giving him. “But yeah it wasn’t totally honest with you. I just didn’t want you to see where I lived in case you guessed about the money. The Bitcoin thing was only going to get me so far.”
I nodded slowly, understanding where he was coming from with that one. He didn’t want to unravel things because he knew it would lead to exactly where it did. I wished he had, though, it would’ve saved a lot of embarrassment with my mom.
“Okay then, let’s go now.”
“Now?” he exclaimed in mock surprise. “You want to go right now when your apartment is right there?”
I bit down on my lip. He had me there. Much as I wanted to make him hold up his end of the bargain I also wanted to rekindle what we had...and my bed was so damn close. Painfully so.
“Fine.” I grabbed onto his jacket and pulled him closer to me. “Not now, but soon.”
“Very soon,” he promised me as his hands worked their way into my hair. “Very, very soon.”
With that, his lips had crashed into mine once more, and I found myself back in that magnificent place. The happy sparkles darted and danced right through me; the fire lit in my underwear, I was so light I felt like I could float. His lips were amazing. I loved the way that they melded into mine completely; it really made me feel like I was his.
I didn’t plan for any of this to happen as I walked down those stairs, but I was so glad that it had. I wouldn’t have been truly satisfied with it turning out any other way. There couldn’t be closure with Cade and me because we had the sort of thing going on that felt like it needed to last forever more.
“Come on, let’s go in,” he urged. “You’re driving me crazy right now.”
“But what about the orchestra? What about all these people?” I felt bad leaving in the middle of a private concert, even if I did really want to. “We can’t just go, can we?”
“Of course, we can, I paid them.” He gave me a cheeky grin. “There are some positives to having money, you know.”
“I’m starting to see that,” I replied wryly. “Okay, let’s go in.”
People cheered as we went back inside. I felt certain they had no real idea what was going on here, but they clapped us anyway.