Chapter Twenty-Nine
Cade
December 31, New Year’s Eve
“Urgh, it isn’t enough,” I grumbled as I glanced around the restaurant terrace I’d booked out for the night. “I wanted it to be better.”
“What on Earth could be better than this?” Alissa exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around me. She had taken to hugging me from behind whenever she could sense I was feeling down, and I had to say that the gesture was really comforting. “I absolutely love it. Never has anyone taken me out for such a wonderful dinner.”
“I wanted the orchestra. I feel like I’ve really let you down when it comes to these experience days. I had all these plans, all these wonderful ideas, and it’s all fallen apart.”
“You can’t help the weather,” she chuckled, emanating a sweet, musical sound. “And, I’ve had a wonderful time anyway. I usually spend New Year’s Eve in by myself, just listening to the celebrations below.”
“Oh, well we can go to Time Square if you’d prefer...” I told her teasingly. Alissa didn’t do partying, which was one of the best things about her. If she didn’t want to go out, then I didn’t have to, either.
“Oh no, I think this will do. A nice quiet dinner up here looking down on the world is perfect for me. Plus, much as it’s a little chilly up here, I’d prefer that to the heat of all the bodies down there.”
I pulled out her seat and indicated for her to sit down, which she did with a smile. Then the waiter came out to pour us champagne, just as I’d arranged with him. We both took a sip to test the drink before nodding to declare that it was perfect.
“I feel bad though,” Alissa whispered to me. “This must have cost you a fortune again. I know you have your Bitcoin money, but I don’t want you to waste it all on me. I mean, you’ve done enough for me paying my rent and stuff...and of course the fifty thousand dollars, not that we’re talking about that again.”
That bitter guilt swilled in my throat again. Somewhere along the line, I’d selfishly still not told her that I had a billion dollars from my father. I wanted her to stop feeling so bad about me paying for stuff, but I couldn’t seem to find the right words to bring up the awful subject.
“No,” I decided to talk about something else instead. “We aren’t talking about it again. This is the start of a brand-new year, which means a new start. We don’t ever have to speak of the horror of that night again.”
“You don’t think Elle will ever come back?” Alissa asked. “I keep thinking that she might want to come back and make things right with me.”
“I don’t think she’s that dumb,” I insisted. “She must be able to see that there’s no making things right. She must also understand that I will call the cops if I ever see her again. I don’t think you have to worry.”
“I hope not.” She took a sip of her drink. “I just don’t ever want to think about her again. I just don’t like the position that she’s left me in. I felt indebted to you, and that isn’t fair. It isn’t right that I didn’t con anyone, and I’m left with the consequences.”
I grabbed her hand, trying to silence her before she went on a long-winded rant. I knew exactly how badly she felt about all of this, which was crazy. She didn’t need to feel that way. I didn’t want her to feel like she owed me anything.
“I would happily go bankrupt for you; you know that, right? I don’t want you to pay back a penny; I just want you to focus on yourself.”
“But it isn’t fair to you, either-”
“I don’t mind. As long as Elle is gone, that’s good enough for me.”
We shared a look, one that was filled with all kinds of promises that I felt like I could keep for once. I loved this girl. I wanted to be everything that she needed me to be. I opened my mouth, ready to tell her as much, but before I got the chance, the waiter came along with our food.
“Well, this isn’t as...creative as the last place that we went to eat, but it sure looks nice,” Alissa grinned. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
“You’re more than welcome.”
“So, what do you intend to do with your new year?” she asked me as she tucked into the food. “Any big plans for the rest of your life yet?”
“Hmm, I’ve been thinking about it a lot, actually, and I want to do something that gives me a lot of freedom, I don’t want to be chained to my desk like my dad has his whole life.”
“So, you want to be more like your mom? Travelling the world, doing something creative?”
“No, no,” I reassured her. I didn’t mean to give off the impression that I’d be gallivanting around the world, never to be seen again. “That life seems just as lonely to me as my father’s. And as restrictive, if I’m honest. My mom might be here, there, and everywhere, but she isn’t ever at home. I haven’t ever seen much of her.
“No, I want to do something that allows me to be home with my...” I almost said family then, but I managed to stop myself at the last moment. I didn’t want Alissa to think that I was getting too carried away here. “You know, I just want to be home when I want to be, and out when I want to be. I want to be able to go on vacation when I want to, and be in the office when I want to.”
“Sounds like a pipe dream to me.” She smiled. “Unless you intend to continue with your investing.”
“Hmmm, maybe.” That had started out as a lie, but could be a good idea. “I mean, it was a long time ago, so I’d need to do a lot of research, but it’s a possibility.”
“Is it something you could get passionate about? That’s what all of this is about, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know if I could get passionate about any business. Both my parents have put me off. But I’ll have to give it a go to see.” I paused for a second and looked at Alissa’s shining face. “How about you? Do you have any plans?”
“Oh, well, I still want to get into an orchestra. Plus, some more auditions are coming up soon. I’ll just have to go and give them a try, see if I can get through it without panicking this time.”
“You’ve still never played for me, you know,” I mused quietly. “Would you do that tonight when we get home? I’d absolutely love to hear you.”
At first, her face went pale, then slightly red, but I could see her starting to come around to the idea. “Okay, I don’t see why not. I mean, if I can’t play in front of you, then I have no hope, do I? If I’m going to play in front of hundreds of people, then I need to let you hear me...even if you do make me more anxious than anyone else.”
“Why would I make you nervous?” I chuckled. “I can’t play anything, so it isn’t like I can judge you. I’m sure you’re amazing, anyway.”
“Because you’re the person I care about most. You are the person’s whose opinion is most important to me. Of course, you make me the most nervous.”
“Well, if you can get through the hurdle of playing for me, then you can do anything. Maybe this will be the perfect way to see the new year in you getting over your anxiety.” I felt a burst of excitement growing inside of me. If I could help Alissa to recover from any of her self-doubts, then I would’ve done absolutely everything.
“Well...” She shrugged. “It certainly can’t hurt. Let’s do it. Once we’ve finished dinner, we can go back to mine, and I’ll play for you. Ring in the new year there.”
***
I leaned my head back against Alissa’s couch and slid my eyes closed as I listened to her play. The tune coming out of her instrument was soft, calm, melodic. It stirred my heart and made me feel all kinds of emotions I didn’t even know were there. It wasn’t a happy song, or a sad one, but it had a lot of power within it.
To say she was talented would be a massive understatement. She was absolutely incredible. I could have listened to her play for hours and hours.
“I suppose I better stop now,” she declared, causing my eyes to snap open. “It’s almost midnight if you want to watch the fireworks.”
Before answering, I jumped up from my seat to wrap my arms tightly around her neck. “Oh, Alissa, that was incredible. You should be up on the stage; you should be playing to hundreds of thousands of people every single night; it’s a crime that you keep your talent locked away from the rest of the world. People need to hear you.”
“Oh, wow,” she chuckled, sounding embarrassed. “I wasn’t expecting that reaction.”
“How could you not be? You’re amazing.”
“Thank you, I, er, I worked hard to get to that stage.” She couldn’t just take a compliment. She felt so embarrassed that she couldn’t just accept it. It was adorable and infuriating in equal measures. “But that’s kind of you to say, and hopefully, soon, I will be playing for lots of other people. That’s, kind of, the plan.”
I glanced up at the clock, noticing the time. We didn’t have long now until the clock chimed. I had never spent a New Year’s Eve with a girlfriend before. Random hook up women, probably, but no one I actually gave a crap about. I was excited to see what it would be like. I had a feeling that it’d be powerful.
“Come on, let’s lean out the window and watch the fireworks.”
I pushed her window open as she packed her instrument away, letting the sounds of the city flood her apartment. The massive party on the streets was raging beneath us, and I was so glad to be in a mere party of two.
“Wow, look at the stars,” Alissa gasped as she joined me. “It’s such a beautiful night.”
“Ten...nine...”
“Oh, there goes the countdown.”
“Eight...seven...”
I turned to look at Alissa, feeling an overwhelming sense of love for her. She was so beautiful, so kind and unassuming; I was the luckiest man alive to be with her.
“Six...five...four...”
I slipped my hand into hers and held it tightly.
“Three...two...”
Alissa turned to look at me, too, and I knew it was time.
“One.”
I kissed her softly, hoping she could feel the promise of love coming from my mouth. The fireworks boomed around us, but I didn’t even care to look at them. I was just so lost in the gorgeous woman in front of me.
“Happy new year,” Alissa whispered as we finally managed to pull apart from each other. “Let’s hope that it’s a good one.”
“Oh, it will be,” I reassured her. “And happy new year to you, too.”
With that, we both turned to watch the show going on outside the window, and Alissa gently rested her head on my shoulder as we watched. I held her close, smiling to myself. If things ended this year the way it started out, then it would be my happiest year yet.