Chapter Eleven
Xander (Saturday)
It felt good to wake up without a million and one things on my to-do list. I didn’t even have to go into the studio today. We didn’t have anyone booked in and since Michael had a whole day of activities planned with Steph – a relationship that still seemed to be progressing somehow – I didn’t have any meetings with him, either.
I had a whole day ahead of me to do absolutely nothing. The only problem was I wasn’t totally sure how to just do nothing. I was so used to being busy, so accustomed to always having the next thing needing my attention, I wasn’t sure how to just relax.
As I sat down with a cup of coffee gripped tightly between my fingers, I tried to recall the last time I had a whole day to myself just to see what I did then, but I couldn’t. It was almost as if it’d never happened before.
Never mind, that didn’t matter. This was going to be good. Twenty-four hours to get my head in order.
The sound of my cell phone interrupted my thoughts. Oh, thank God! I jumped up excitedly and grabbed at it, so grateful to have someone needing me.
As it turned out, I wasn’t so good at just relaxing. It was only eight-thirty, and I was already going crazy. Any longer and I might have ended up at the studios helping the cleaners with their work, just for something to do.
“Hello?” I didn’t even bother to look at the caller’s number before I answered, I was too excited. “Xander Runner speaking.”
“Hi, Xander, it’s Lila.” My heart leapt up. What a nice surprise! At least... I hoped it was.
I hadn’t yet sent over the contract, the finer details weren’t totally completed, so I prayed this wasn’t her cutting off the deal before it’d even begun. I wanted her and Kyle. I didn’t think that I’d be able to find what they had anywhere else. If I lost them now, it’d crush me.
“Sorry it’s so early, I just wanted to speak to you, if possible.”
“Don’t worry, I’m up and about anyway. What’s going on?” She paused for a moment, which made me panic slightly. This was obviously something challenging for her to say, which meant it couldn’t be good. Maybe it was more of a face-to-face conversation. “Do you want to meet up?”
Just as I said those words, I heard a loud bleeping sound coming from my laptop, alerting me to an email. While I waited for her to answer, I moved over there to see what it was.
Hi Xander, Jo here. Just wanted to check you were still coming in today...
Oh, of course! I did have something to do today. I’d promised to go in and see the foster kids. My heart danced excitedly, before I remembered the phone conversation I was having. I was talking to Lila about potentially meeting up... Damn it, how was I supposed to prioritize those two things? Was there any way I could combine the two?
“Yeah, face to face might be better.” She definitely sounded nervous. I was going to have to figure out some way of making this work. Luckily, I already knew that Lila had some interest in the charity since she’d been at the fundraiser.
“I’m actually meeting with Jo today. I’m going to the foster home to see the kids for a while; would you like to come with me?”
She paused for a second, before answering me with enthusiasm. “Yeah, that sounds good, actually. Thanks.”
“Hang on, I have the address right here.” I knew it from my childhood since it was the place I’d grown up, but I wanted to get it exactly right.
“Oh, don’t worry, I know where it is,” she reassured me. “I’ll see you there in a while.”
As she hung up, I felt a little blown away, but then maybe she knew about where the place was from rehearsals for the show or something. I went and grabbed some more casual clothing, thinking about Lila the whole time.
There was something captivating about her. I found her on my mind more than I cared to admit, and this day was even worse. I was far too excited to spend time with her. I had a feeling that it wasn’t just her star quality, which was confusing. I’d always had a rule that business and pleasure wouldn’t mix, and maybe this was the time I might be considering breaking that.
Damn it, I can’t! I had that rule for a reason. I’d decided on it the moment I started the company because I didn’t ever want things to get messy. There was nothing worse than a complicated break up affecting my business. But I couldn’t seem to stop the fantasies from floating through my mind, regardless.
Anyway, this wasn’t the time to be worrying about things like that. I needed to get to the orphanage.
***
I walked through the front door to see Lila already there, talking to the receptionist as if they were old friends. I cocked my head to one side and regarded her curiously for a second, wondering just how involved with this charity she was. Maybe she volunteered here a lot, maybe she did a whole lot more than just the fundraiser. The idea made me respect her more.
Maybe that was something I needed to do more of. Maybe I needed to find more time to volunteer.
“Oh, hey.” Lila’s face lit up with happiness when she saw me. As a warm glow spread across her features, I found her even more attractive, dangerously so. How was I supposed to stick to my rule if she kept looking so damn gorgeous?
“Hi, how are you?”
I wanted to have a little chat with her, to see if I could figure out where her head was at, but before I could, Jo and the young girl from the fundraiser, Mia, joined me and pulled me into the other room. I felt the need to explain why Lila was with me, but as it turned out, I didn’t need to. Everyone knew her well, and no one seemed shocked by her presence.
The day started off as a tour of the home, which had transformed a lot since I was there. I could easily pick out the differences, the improvements, but I kept them to myself. Even though Jo knew I’d spent my childhood there, I didn’t want to reveal it to everyone else just yet.
Luckily, I didn’t have to, because before long Mia invited Lila and me to play what turned out to be the most competitive game of softball ever. I assumed that because it was all kids, it’d be fun and easy going, but boy was I wrong. My team ended up getting hammered by Lila’s, and she teased me relentlessly by it.
“How does it feel, being beaten by a woman?” Her eyes sparkled as she shoved me playfully, causing me to forgive her in a heartbeat.
“Actually, you just had a stronger team of kids than me,” I said, playing along with the game. “I didn’t have a chance.”
As the kids ran off to lunch, we sat on the grass for a moment to catch our breaths. I enjoyed the ease of silence between us; it didn’t feel like we needed to fill every second with chatter. We had a comfort there that I hadn’t felt before. It was nice, and it made me miss having someone. It’d been so long and I’d been so busy that I hadn’t thought about it, but now I could see that there was something there that I needed.
“You know, your money is going to build a playground,” she eventually told me in a quiet, considered tone of voice. “They’re going to buy up that bit of land there to put in swings and a slide and stuff. It’ll be going to staff, too, and necessary equipment. I just think it’s cool that you’re buying the children something substantial. Something you can see and know you contributed.”
My emotions danced about in my stomach when she turned to grin at me. “It’s something I’d love to do if I could afford it.” She paused for a second, and I remained silent, too. There was more coming, I just knew it, and I wanted to know what.
“Kyle and I were foster kids.” Whoa, that was heavier than I expected. I didn’t know what to think about that. “We actually stayed here for a while, so I know exactly how much this will mean.”
“Only a while?” This was my chance to tell her that I’d grown up here, too, but for some reason the words never quite came.
“We were shipped about a lot,” she sighed. “I don’t know why. I guess because we wanted to stick together, maybe. Or maybe we were just in an awkward place in the system. It isn’t always great.” I knew that all too well, yet still, I didn’t say anything. “So, yeah.” She shrugged, her face heating up a bit. “I guess I just want to say that you’ve done an awesome thing.”
“Thank you.” I smiled brightly at her. “That’s always nice to hear.”
Why couldn’t I just say it? Why was I keeping it all inside? This was someone that I knew would understand, this was someone who’d been through it to, yet still I kept it in. I was acting far more like Michael than ever before, and I couldn’t seem to stop.
“Anyway, you’d better go.” Lila stood up and brushed herself down, drawing my attention to her legs, making my heart jump. “Mia wants you to eat some carrot concoction she’s making you.” She patted me on the arm in a friendly gesture, but it sent goosebumps racing up and down me. “So, good luck with that one.”
“Aren’t you staying?” I wasn’t ready for her to go just yet; we were having such an awesome time. “Don’t you want carrot... whatever it is?”
“God, no,” she chuckled loudly. “Plus, I’ve got an afternoon of song writing with Kyle planned. I can’t be late for that.”
I almost reached over to hug her, but managed to restrain myself at the last moment. We were supposed to be busy colleagues – she was about to potentially work for me – I couldn’t start getting all touchy feeling with her. Not while I was trying so desperately to keep the line clear. “Oh, well, that’s a shame. It’s been nice to hang out with you, anyway. The contract will be with you by Monday, so after that call me to arrange dinner.”
I wanted to ask her to come alone to dinner, not because I didn’t like Kyle, but just because I liked Lila so damn much.
“That sounds great, thank you.”
Happiness burned through me as I watched her walk away. She left me feeling amazing. In fact, I watched her for so long that I almost forgot we had met up for a reason. “Hey!” I called loudly after her, causing her to spin around and look at me once more. “Didn’t you have something you wanted to talk about?”
“Oh...” Her eyes went everywhere, almost as if she was looking to see if anyone was around. “Um, you know what? Never mind. We can talk about it next week.”
I didn’t want to let her go. I wanted to grab her to demand what she wanted to tell me, just because I was so damn curious. But I didn’t. If that was what she wanted, then I had to respect that. I would have to try and be patient, and just wait.
There was one thing for sure: she wasn’t going to be off my mind for one minute until we saw one another again.