Chapter Four
Morgan
Friday
“Okay, Mr. Jones?” I smiled at the elderly patient who had his arm in my hand, trusting me with his life. “You will feel a sharp prick as the needle goes in, alright?”
“I know, I know,” he teased me a little gruffly, trying to cover up any internal distress. “This isn’t exactly my first blood test now, is it?”
“No, I suppose not.” That was one of the issues with having a long-term condition – you got sick of being at the hospital, of going through the same rigmarole over and over again. “I’m just telling you to keep you distracted, really.”
I ran my fingers over his vein, searching for the right place, before sliding the needle into his arm. He winced, feeling the prick, but to his credit, he didn’t moan. Taking blood was one of the more unpleasant tasks I had to do, mainly because people didn’t like it.
“Are you done?” Mr. Jones asked me sounding pained.
I pressed the cotton wool onto the area, stopping the bleeding with a reassuring smile on my face. “Yes, I’m done. You can go back to the waiting area now; the doctor will call you in as soon as she’s ready. As far as I’m aware, she’s running a little behind today, but she’ll get to you as soon as she can.”
“How long until the results are ready?” The question I got a million times a day when I was on blood duty. It was exhausting, but I understood. They needed to know what was going on far quicker than we were able to do.
“I don’t know. It depends how busy they are in the testing center,” I told him regretfully. “I’m sure they’ll get it done as quickly as possible.”
I showed him out the office, to see Nickie trying to grab my attention. She was waving wildly at me from the other end of the waiting room, which was the only reason I didn’t immediately go to grab the next patient right away. Maybe something had happened that I needed to know about. I raced towards her, a tight knot of panic forming in my chest.
“What’s going on?” I hissed quietly. “Is everything okay?” Sometimes it was incredibly challenging to maintain confidentiality in a place where you couldn’t get a moment alone. “What do you need? What can I do?”
“Oh, nothing work related, you don’t have to worry about that.” She waved her hands above her hair as if it was ludicrous I’d even think that. “I wanted to talk to you about tonight.”
I rolled my eyes, anger careering through my veins. “Are you serious? I have patients waiting for me.” Did she not get it? Did she not stress about the feelings of others? Was that why I was always the one who ended up looking haggard?
“They can wait a few moments longer. I just wanted to tell you that Lights Out is cancelled for tonight-”
“Oh, thank God!” I already knew that I was far too tired for it. At least now I was saved the indignity of having to be a disappointment.
“Because we’re going with a group of others tomorrow. The girls from maternity want to come out.”
Oh God. The girls from maternity were a nightmare with their horror stories about giving birth. They’d seen it all, heard it all, and didn’t care about sharing that. It was bad enough not having a child of my own, but hearing them rattle on about the blood and the gore, plus the tragedies that it seemed they saw far too much, it was just a bit too much...
“Well, you don’t need me to come, then,” I tried.
“No, of course I do. It won’t be as fun without you. Plus, it’s my birthday.”
“You’re birthday was in June.” I needed another tactic, some other way to get out of this nightmare. “Well, I don’t know if I want to go there. It’s in a dangerous area, isn’t it? I overheard someone telling me that someone got stabbed there once...”
“People get stabbed all the time. This will be fun. You are coming. It’s not a bad place, all the wealthiest men go there. It’s like a hot bed for sexy billionaires. It’s one of those places that’s like a dream come true as long as you can get into the VIP section... And you know me, I will get into the VIP area, no matter what.”
“Are you making that up? Is this just another tactic to get me to go? Because I have zero interest in looking for some arrogant rich idiot.” I really didn’t care about that. I knew some people had a strong desire to find a man to take care of them, but I needed a real man in my life...if I was ever going to find one at all.
“Just come to the club with me and see for yourself. It’ll be fun.” She was getting close to begging, and I really didn’t want that. It wasn’t the time or place.
“I have to go now. I need to get back to work.” I shot her a warning look, but she didn’t seem to get it at all. She was so wrapped up in the fantasy of meeting her Mr. Right. “I’ll talk to you about this another time.”
“Right, okay, I’ll see you in a bit.”
Nickie swanned off without a care in the world, shaking her hips as she went. I shook my head and chuckled to myself. Much as she drove me crazy, she was still super awesome. I had to adore her for that.
***
At the end of the shift, it was incredibly difficult for me to pull my hoodie up over my aching shoulders. My muscles all ached, all I wanted to do was rest them...
“You up for the diner tonight?” Nickie forced her arm through mine. “My treat.”
I really didn’t want to, I needed to get away to be by myself, but again I was starving. I did need to eat, and I was too weary to cook. “Sure, why not.”
We walked to the exit, and as soon as the cool air hit my face, I felt my worries from the week fade away. I loved having weekends off; it made it a lot easier to shake it off and go back to being myself. Sometimes I did lose me in there.
“So, Michelle said that Annie and Seb are coming to the club, too. That’ll be good, won’t it? They’re always so much fun.” Nickie rambled on like I hadn’t expressed dislike for the whole plan. “Annie always has the latest gossip.”
“Are they really fun?” I replied glumly. “They always talk about babies, endlessly, and I find that exhausting. I don’t feel the need to discuss blood pressure all night long. Sure, Annie might have the gossip, but to be honest, I don’t really care what my co-workers get up to when they aren’t in the hospital.”
Nickie didn’t answer me – she didn’t need to because she knew that I was right, but to be fair to her, she’d always been much more sociable than me. I was happy to live my life in the shadows, whereas she’d always desired to be in a group. Even if they were boring as hell. Graphic birth stories or not, it was more people to have fun with.
There was a time in medical school when she insisted on going to all the parties held by the trainee surgeons, despite the fact that they always ended with someone puking over someone else. Just not my idea of fun – and it never would be.
“Look, if you don’t want to come to Lights Out tomorrow, I’ll just come and kidnap you. You understand that, right? You know how relentless I can be.”
“Maybe I’ll just come for a little bit, will that be okay?” Anything to get her off my back. “Then when the birth stories start, I can get the hell out of there.”
“Sure, sure whatever.” At least Nickie was smiling now. “Just make sure you dress nice, alright? It really does have nice people in there; you want to look good.”
“Why, what are you going to wear?” My tone was confused, terrified, and also a little mad. How had I agreed to this? What a freaking mess.
“My little black dress, of course. That outfit shows just enough boobs and legs to be sexy, but trashy, too. Perfect. I want people to know that I’m classy, but available.”
Oh God, I was not prepared for this. “Well maybe I’ll get something new then. We’ll see.” I couldn’t really afford it, but I didn’t want to look dowdy, either. “I’ll see what I have in my wardrobe.” Nothing, I didn’t need to look to know that!
As we stepped into the diner, Nickie instantly raced to the bathroom, leaving me alone with my menu. I flicked my eyes over the room, just to see who was there, when I spotted a face I vaguely recognized, but not from the hospital. I couldn’t really remember her name, but she had been in my class in high school. That wasn’t why I couldn’t drag my eyes away, though – it was the adorable moment I could see her sharing with her young boy.
He must have been about five or six years old, and he was telling her a story very intently. He was giving her a look of intense love, and she was giving him the same back. There was such adoration there, it made me womb ache. I wanted that, I really did, even if it wasn’t ideal. Not now necessarily, but it would’ve been nice to know I was on the way.
“Who’s that?” I only dragged my eyes away when Nickie’s voice burst through my shock barrier. She was looking at me like I’d gone a bit insane, which maybe I had.
“Oh, erm, someone I went to school with. No one, really.” I felt my face heat up as I’d been caught. I wasn’t sure what I’d done so wrong,
“So why don’t you say hello?”
“I didn’t know her that well. Shall we get something to eat?”
Nickie gave me a confused look, like she knew that there was much more going on underneath the surface, but thankfully, she didn’t push it. She simply nodded and looked down at her menu inquisitively, like it was something she hadn’t looked at a million times.
This was crazy. I was getting child envy, and I didn’t even have a boyfriend. I hadn’t even bothered speaking to my mom and she was in my head, making me come around to her way of thinking. What was I so worried for just because I didn’t have someone? Plenty of people were single, and they were totally okay with that. I didn’t need anyone to make myself happy... That was all stuff I could have way into the future.
“So did you speak to your mom in the end?” Nickie asked, sensing my thoughts. “It’s just that you seem a little distracted.” God damn, she knew exactly what was going on with me. How embarrassing!
“No, not yet. I will eventually, when I have the strength for it.” I nodded and smiled a little too brightly. “Maybe I’ll tell her that I’m pregnant, just to mess with her mind for a moment. Give her a little thrill.”
“Oh my God, tell her that you don’t know who the dad is – that will be incredible. She will lose her freaking mind. She might even have a heart attack!”
We laughed loudly, and it felt good to be making a joke out of the situation. It was preferable to wallowing, at any rate. My life was great just the way it was.