We’re at Madison Square Garden for the sound check, and after last night’s bus tour incident and my moments with Chad, I’m feeling a little confused again. I haven’t seen or talked to Danger today and, to be honest, I don’t know what I’m thinking about anything anymore.

When I’m around Chad, he confuses everything I know about Danger for me. But then as soon as I’m around Danger, he makes me want him again. It’s so confusing, and for a girl who’s never had a man in her life before, I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing. So who knows if I’m doing the right thing? I’m walking around the side of the stage lost in my thoughts when a set of muscular arms wrap around me.

“Hey, I’ve missed you. How was your bus tour?” Danger asks.

“It was good,” I say and dislodge myself from him feeling weird about being in his arms.

He raises his eyebrow and tilts his head. “What’s wrong?” He takes my hand in his and rubs my skin with his thumb tenderly.

I swallow hard because I don’t want to tell him how confused I am, so I decide to tell him about last night instead. “No, nothing. It’s just last night we were in Times Square and one of the billboards had an advertisement for the Slayed world tour pop up. Well, we all got a little over-excited to see ourselves up there, so we pointed to it and started cheering and then people started to recognise us. It got a little crazy, the minions begun to surround us, but it was okay because Chad pulled me to him and he protected me from their hands. He held me in his strong arms and made it so no one could get to me. He was so brave and fended them off. It was unbelievable Danger, you should have been ther—”

He exhales forcefully shaking his head and throws his hands in the air breaking our contact. “Are you purposely trying to make me mad?” he yells, taking me by surprise.

I open my eyes wide as he glares at me and shake my head and stuttering, “N…No, w…why would I d…do that?”

He turns his back to me as his chest starts to heave. “I can’t fucking believe you sometimes, Ella. Do you even think before you speak?” he yells again and turns back to face me. His nostrils are flaring and his face is turning red. “I swear I have no idea what your game is right now, but I’m not playing. You hear me? Do you fucking hear me?” he yells and then turns and storms away.

I furrow my brows wondering where that all came from, and what the hell made him yell like that. My eyes start to water and my chest tightens making it hard to breathe. I hate that he’s so mad, but I don’t understand why he’s mad at all? We’ve just had a fight, but I have no idea what the hell it was even about.

Thinking of him yelling at me like that is making me angry. What gives him the right to yell at me at all? How dare he talk to me like that? I’m getting more and more worked up by the second, and he didn’t even tell me what he was angry about before he stormed off in a huff. I need to vent, and Chad is the only person who listens to me. I make my way down to the green room and notice Chad sitting playing with his phone. He turns and smiles wide and then his smile falls when he sees me storming toward him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Danger, he’s a dickhead,” I reply and Chad laughs.

“Well, I already knew that. What’s he done this time?” he asks exhaling and looking a little annoyed himself.

“He just got all huffy with me over nothing.”

He shakes his head and slumps onto the lounge suite. “Ella, why do you put up with him? Do you even like him, or does he just have an enormous cock?”

“Excuse me?” I ask defensively.

“The guy’s an A-grade wanker. I have no idea what you see in him. He treats you like shit, and yet you go running back and forth to him like a lost puppy. Then when you fight with him, you come to me for support.”

“Well, you’re my friend. I’m supposed to be able to come to you for support, aren’t I?”

He exhales and looks away from me as Annie comes storming in ranting about how the wardrobe department fucked up her outfits, yet again.

“Look Ella, just deal with Danger however you want to. You won’t want my advice anyway,” he says and I furrow my brows and move my weight onto one hip.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t take it out on me because you’re having a shit day. Danger is a dick, the sooner you realise it, the better off you’ll be,” he says standing, then walks off.

I exhale and shake my head wondering what the hell is up everyone’s arses today.

I walk away and find the kitchen, feeling the tension inside me boiling to the surface. I sit down on the bench in front of the platters and rest my head in my hands. I don’t know how, but the two men in my life I have managed to piss me off completely in the space of five minutes of each other.

What the hell is with today?

My anger is ebbing and instead my emotions are starting to rise. My bottom lip trembles and the thought of Chad and Danger both being annoyed with me begins to upset me. I swallow hard as the tears begin to form in my eyes, and I can’t hold them back any longer as the saltwater droplets flow down my face like a torrent.

I’m gutted.

I have no idea how I managed to do this. Everyone is annoyed with me, and I don’t even know what I’ve done in either case. I wish I could just figure out what the fuck I’m supposed to be doing with my life, and with these two guys. I pick up a strawberry and shove it in my mouth as I begin to sob. My heart is racing and my stomach’s twisting in on itself. Nervous eating is a must right now. My tears are hot and they pool at my chin and drip onto the stainless steel surface of the bench. I feel helpless like I have no idea what’s happening around me or how to fix the messes I seem to create. I have no idea what I’m doing.

I feel lost.

I’m completely and utterly lost.

The door opens and I stop still, but my tears don’t afford me that luxury, they won’t stop for anyone. Danger and Ryan walk in. I open my eyes wide, Danger doesn’t notice me in the corner, but Ryan stares right at me. He furrows his brows and can obviously see my stained face. I shake my head trying to tell Ryan not to tell Danger I’m here, but Danger follows Ryan’s line of sight and looks straight at me. I quickly look away, so he doesn’t see I’ve been crying. Danger exhales and pats Ryan on the back.

“I’ll catch up with you later, okay?” he says to Ryan. I’m not sure what’s happening while I try subtly to wipe my face and not look at them. I hear the door close and I can’t help but look up in reaction to see if Danger has left. My heart races hoping like hell he hasn’t, and when I look up I’m greeted by his tall frame looking at me with furrowed brows and a slumped posture.

I notice Ryan has left and Danger comes and sits down next to me. The silence is awkward as I try my hardest to fight back my tears, but Danger leans in and wraps his arms around me pulling me to him, and I can’t hold back the waterworks any longer. I burst into tears and he strokes the back of my hair and comforts me.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, sugar. I never meant to upset you,” he says and I grip onto him for dear life. I never knew I was this shattered, but the past few days have been so epically confusing for me. Then to top it off now having both him and Chad angry at me, I just can’t take it.

“Ella, please talk to me. I’m sorry I yelled at you. It’s just Chad…you know…he gets up my goat every time, and hearing he was your knight in shining armor last night…well, it got to me, that’s all. But I’m over it, I promise, just please stop crying.”

I try my hardest to stop and my tears slow but don’t stop altogether.

“I’m sorry. I know you have a thing about Chad, but I didn’t think you’d see it that way. I’m sorry you did. I just want everything to be okay with us.”

He pulls back looking me in the eyes and taking my head in his hands. He starts to wipe my tears away with his thumbs.

“Everything’s okay, sugar. We’re okay, I promise. I just had a moment. But I assure you right now it will never happen again. I never want to see you this upset because of me. I want to make sure this, these tears, don’t happen again. I care about you, sugar, and I hate that I made you like this. It won’t happen again I assure you.” He leans in gently and ever so softly kisses my lips. This is different to every other time he’s kissed me. This one is full of promise, of something different, of something more. He’s telling me how he feels with his kiss. He cares more than he’s letting on, and right now I know I care for him too.

“Ella, I want to make this up to you. Tell me what I need to do to fix this?”

“Just be here for me and show me that you care. That’s all I need.”

“I can do that,” he says and stands up pulling me with him and forcing my body to his, wrapping me in him in every way possible. Looking up into his eyes there’s that spark, I feel it, it soothes me and it excites me at the same time. He brings his hand up and caresses my cheek and leans down kissing me softly again. His tongue dances with mine and this kiss is not forced or rushed, it’s not passionate or strong but it’s soft and gentle and delicate, and it makes me think there’s another side to Danger. A softer side that even he didn’t know existed. A side I could bring out of him if he’d only let me.

“I want to be better for you, sugar. I’m trying really hard to be better for you,” he whispers against my lips.

I open my eyes and look into his dark blue irises and I can see he’s being completely honest with me. “I know, Danger. And you are. You’re doing better. As a matter of fact, you’re doing great, just don’t yell at me, okay?”

“I really am sorry.”

I wrap my arms around his neck tighter and lean on my toes and press my lips to his wanting to feel the butterflies dance in my tummy as I kiss him. I’m greeted with such pleasure as I kiss him with a little more force this time, and he kisses me back wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me to his hard toned body. I like making up with Danger. I wish we didn’t fight in the first place, but making up with him is nice.

We hear loud talking outside the kitchen, it’s my dad’s voice so we break apart just in time for him to walk in. We’re both breathless and as he walks in he notices us. I look down at the ground trying to not look entirely guilty.

“I’ll…ah…talk to you more about that later, Ella,” Danger says and I look up at him and nod.

“Mm-hmm,” I murmur more high-pitched than I wanted.

Danger walks past Dad, who’s eyeing us suspiciously and continues out the room. Dad looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

“What’s going on?”

“What? Huh! No, nothing,” I say quickly and a little too defensively. I mentally slap myself across the head.

“Ella? Seriously?” Dad asks and I try to think of something as fast as I can.

“We’re just good friends and he’s a nice guy. He’s teaching me how to sing,” I say and mentally slap my head again.

“Well, Caleb can teach you how to sing or I can. Not some douche like Danger from Recoil.”

I tense up getting the feeling that Dad doesn’t like Danger at all. “Don’t you like him?”

Dad laughs. “He’s a punk kid with too much ego and way too much testosterone. He’s a great musician, but his people skills leave a lot to be desired.” I swallow hard and Dad walks right up to me and pulls me into him for a hug. “I’m so glad you’d never be interested in someone like him.”

Well, this just got awkward!

I tense up but hug him back and laugh awkwardly trying to cover up my secret. Great, if Dad doesn’t like him, what chance do I have of having a real relationship with Danger once this tour is over?

“Anyway, I just came in here to get a drink.” He lets go of me and walks over to the fridge and pulls out a juice then back to me and leans in kissing my forehead, then continues out the door.

I sit back down at the bench I was sitting at originally when I came in here, and continue to eat my fruit platter feeling more nervous than when I came in, just in a different way. Danger made me feel better about us, but Chad is still mad with me and Dad hates Danger, so that leaves me up shit creek really. What the hell am I going to do now?

I want to prove my father wrong. I can see the good in Danger, and I know with a push in the right direction everyone else will see the good in him too. I need to spend more time with him, to show everyone how good he can be.

 

***

 

Over the last month since New York, I’ve spent most of my time with Danger. I’ve wanted to prove he’s a good guy underneath all that bravado. He’s still a little distant whenever Dad is around, but that’s okay I expect him to be, especially with the way Dad thinks about him. But it does annoy me that he can’t try a little harder to show Dad that he’s trying to be better for me. But other than that I’m happy. I’ve spoken to Chad and told him that Danger is making me happy, and he seems to be of the opinion that if I’m happy then that’s all he wants for me. Even though I know it’s only going to be for another two months and then Danger goes back to America. I don’t know how I feel about that, though. I think I’m really starting to feel something for Danger. He makes my stomach flip, he sets my heart a flutter and I feel giddy around him. I don’t think it’s love, but I’m sure it could get there eventually.

I know that being with him is making me happy, even though everyone around me, except for Caleb, seems miserable. Annie and Aston are both downers, and even though Chad is still talking to me and being my friend, he’s not happy and energetic like he normally is. It’s like he’s defeated and something is getting him down. It’s so hard to be happy around all these miserable people. But I guess sometimes you have to live your own life and let people live theirs.

We're in Australia and we have a break for a couple of days. Danger wants to take me on a real date. Apparently, he has this entire day trip planned for us, along with Mike, of course. It doesn’t sound so romantic when you know your security guard has to tag along, but at least we’ll have protection for the entire day, that’s a plus I guess. We’re in South Australia and we have to get up super early to start our day, so I’m waking up at four a.m. to meet Danger. He is going to have us driven down to Cape Jervis to board a ferry to cross over to Kangaroo Island. Apparently, it’s one of South Australia’s best tourist destinations. So I’m up early, and as I open the door to my hotel suite Danger is at the door looking tired as hell, but with a giant smile on his face.

“Morning, sugar. Ready for our Aussie adventure?”

“Sure thing, as long as I don’t have to eat any of that Vegemite shit,” I say and he laughs and takes my hand and we walk to the elevators.

“Are you excited?”

“Yes very. Although I have no idea what we’re doing, so yeah,” I say and he leans in kissing my forehead.

“Don’t worry I have the entire day planned out and you’re going to love it all,” he says as we step into the elevator holding hands and head down to the foyer.

Mike meets us and then the car takes us all the way to Cape Jervis. It’s a long drive and we get to the ferry docking zone just in time ready for departure. We have a driver driving us around the island in a chauffeured car, so he drives the car onto the ferry while Danger, Mike, and I walk on board. I’m actually quite excited. They say you can see dolphins on the ferry trip, so I’m hoping we get to see some.

We take a seat right at the front, where there are big glass windows so we can look out and see the sun rising over the water. It is exquisite and although it’s early, it’s already romantic. I sit next to Danger and cuddle into his side as he nuzzles into my hair and kisses my head.

“I hope you don’t get seasick,” Danger says and I giggle.

“Nope, do you?” I ask and he smiles.

“Sometimes,” he says and I raise an eyebrow.

“Really?” I ask and he nods. “Oh no. Hopefully, it’s not too choppy then.”

The ferry eventually starts the engines up and some children race up to the front so they can look out over the water. It’s kind of relaxing and I’m here in the arms of my man as the boat starts off across the water. It’s peaceful and kind of normal. It feels like something a regular couple would do, and I like that feeling a lot. An announcement comes over the speakers that a pod of dolphins is off the starboard bow and I clap my hands in excitement.

“C’mon then,” Danger says standing up and taking my hand as I giggle. He walks me over to the right-hand side of the ferry and we look out the window to see the dolphins jumping out of the water alongside the ferry. It’s so amazing. Danger steps in behind me and wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder and gently kisses my cheek.

“Is this better, sugar? Am I doing better for you?” he whispers, and I smile and turn my head facing him and nod.

“Definitely,” I reply and then press my lips to his and kiss him passionately all the way across to Kangaroo Island.