The tour is going smoothly so far. Well, as smoothly as can be with Annie on a downward spiral, Aston miserable as hell and not talking to anyone, Anna and Lia arguing all the time about how they can sort their kids ‘separation’ out, and me missing Indi so much it hurts.

Annie and Aston being apart like this is causing a divide between us all. As much as I don’t want to pick a side I feel sorry for Aston because although I can see Annie’s warped reasoning it isn’t logical, and I think she’s throwing something away just because she’s scared. And in turn making all of our lives difficult. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, she is my cousin and I support her no matter what, but I think she’s doing the wrong thing and I’m slowly watching Aston giving up on everything. He puts on a brave front when she’s around. I know he doesn’t want to make her feel bad, but honestly he’s dying on the inside. Many times he’s come to me and broken down asking for my help. I’ve tried talking to her, but nothing I say helps or gets through to her, nothing any of us say does anything. She’s drowning in her own agony and she is the root cause. I hate watching it happen and I keep talking to Indi about it. She says the only thing we can do is get Annie some psychological help, but it’s hard to do when you’re travelling the world. Lia is dealing with it and as soon as we land back in London, Annie will be seeing the best Psychiatrist in England. Annie needs help and there’s nothing any of us can do, so all we can do is be there for her when she lets us.

On a happier note, two months into the tour it was Indi’s and my one-year anniversary, and I really wanted to surprise her. Luckily the anniversary fell on a two-day break so I arranged with Kenzi for Indi to be rostered off for those two days. I flew home and surprised her showing up on her doorstep with nothing but a bunch of flowers and a bag of overnight clothes. She opened the door and after two months of endless Skype sex and late night phone calls, she burst into tears. I rushed forward and hugged her tightly. We stood in the doorway for what seemed like an hour with me just holding her crying. The rest of the night though was spent in her bed, naked. She was so happy and surprised that I had made the effort to fly home for our anniversary. I took her out and bought her a love heart encrusted with diamonds and a silver infinity running through the middle of the heart necklace. It suited Indi perfectly, and it matched our love effortlessly. Our love wrapped in infinity.

Sure our time apart was tough, but we’re managing. We talked every day. She was doing well with work, the tour was going well considering and things were looking up. Of course, leaving her again was hard, but knowing I could come and see her again on another break, or she could fly to me anytime she wanted, made it easier knowing how simple it was to do exactly that once I had done it. Skype was our best friend, and most nights I would stay online until she would fall asleep. I would lay there and just listen to her breathing until I was too tired and then end the call. And while being on tour was amazing, and spending so much time with my family and friends was the time of my life, I couldn’t wait to get home to my girl and to start planning our lives together. Even though the fame of Staked was getting to unreal levels now. The hype around us was becoming massive. People were coming to the Slayed shows to see us as well as Slayed, and that in itself was something to be proud of. We were making a name for ourselves, and now with only two weeks of the tour left there’s talk of Staked doing it solo at some stage, and I personally cannot wait. I just want enough time with Indi before I have to leave again. But being a headline act instead of a backing band would certainly be a dream come true for me and the band.

But right now, I’m at an after-party in Germany and we’re so close to being back home I can taste it. I can taste Indi’s lips on mine and I can smell her hair. I can feel her body pressed against mine and…oh crap, now I’m getting a boner. I’m missing her like crazy and for some reason knowing I’ll see her in two weeks is making this stint the longest and hardest of them all. Waiting to hold her again is driving me crazy. I just miss her so much. She’s working tonight and the time zone difference is only one hour which is good, compared to some of the time zone differences we’ve had, this one is by far the best.

I’m sitting in the VIP section of some bar with Danger and Ella dancing all over each other. Aston is talking to Chad. Annie isn’t even here, she’s probably in her room at the hotel. She doesn’t tend to come to the after parties, rather, tends to lock herself away which is a pity. I’m sitting at the bar drinking orange juice and watching Danger make the moves on Ella. They’ve been getting closer and closer this whole tour and right now Colt is in the bathroom so Danger is taking full advantage. I place my phone on the bar and take a sip of my juice. Chad walks over to me and sits down wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“Do you think she knows?” he asks.

I raise my eyebrow at him and shake my head wondering what the hell he’s on about.

“Knows what?”

“That he has a tiny cock?” Chad asks. I laugh and look over at Danger, who’s grinding into Ella as they dance.

“Mate, if you’re into her, why not tell her?”

He scoffs and screws up his face. “What good would it do?”

“Well, just tell her your cock is way bigger than his. You can both flop them out and compare in front of her and whoever has the biggest can win her heart,” I say and he chuckles.

“My cock would defeat his tiny dick every time.”

“Yeah ‘cause you have a super cock.”

“Yep, wears a cape and everything,” he says and I slap his shoulder.

“Seriously though, you should tell her.”

“No, she seems happy. That’s all I want for her,” he says.

I raise an eyebrow and smile because that’s probably the most sensible thing I think I’ve ever heard him say.

“Danger won’t be around in a couple of weeks and you can beat his cock off. Oh, wait, that just sounded all kinds of wrong,” I say and Chad burst out laughing.

“Mate, I’m not beating off anyone’s cock,” he says.

Ryan from Recoil, Danger’s best friend walks over.

“What’s so funny?” he asks. I smirk and tilt my head toward Chad.

“Chad wants to beat off Danger,” I say.

Chad rolls his eyes as Ryan smirks and nods. All of a sudden I have a chill run up my spine, and not the nice kind.

“Right, I came in at the wrong time obviously. I’m going to go chat to that new bird, she’s been following Recoil around the last couple of nights and keeps looking in this direction. She wants one of us, so I’m gonna take the lead,” he says.

“Go ahead,” I say and Chad frowns and looks over to Ella and nods.

“Yeah, go ahead,” he says and smirks at him.

I shake my head. Chad’s got it bad. I relax against the bar and watch as Colt comes back into the room and Danger’s attitude instantly changes toward Ella. Poor girl, she looks like she’s wondering what the hell is going on until she notices her father walking past her. Danger is now dancing a good two feet away from her. She rolls her eyes and moves over to the booth and sits down, she folds her arms over her chest and huffs. I chuckle to myself because she reminds me of how Annie used to act when Colt would come in the room and Aston would give her a wide berth. Now the cycle is being repeated with Ella.

“Here’s your chance man,” I say nudging into Chad and looking over at Ella who’s sitting alone.

He looks over at her and then at Danger, who’s watching her like he wants to go to her but is torn.

“Dude, go, before he gets in there,” I say and push him off his stool. He stumbles and I chuckle as he frowns and rights himself.

“Shit, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing,” he says and I chuckle.

“Just be a friend.”

He nods and walks over sliding in next to her. I smile and figure I might call it a night. I’m tired and bored, and I want to get some sleep in before Indi calls me when her shift ends. An eerie feeling slides down my spine again, but I ignore it as I go to stand.

“Hey Caleb, can my groupie chick get a picture with you?” Ryan asks.

“Sure,” I reply and smile. As I turn around an arm wraps around my neck and a set of overly wet lips are firmly attached to mine as the camera flash goes off before I have time to register. I’m blinded temporarily as I frantically wipe at my lips.

What the fuck!

“Caleb, it’s so good to see you again. It’s been far too long. I gave you some time, but I couldn’t keep away when I heard how close you were to coming back to London again. Plus, of course, I came to see Ryan,” Sasha says now lunging herself at Ryan. She wraps her arms around his neck smiling brightly at me like we’re long lost friends.

I’m standing here in shock, my entire body feels numb and I can’t actually move.

“Well Caleb, silly, say something,” she says.

I try hard through my seething to remember that I’m in a public place and I really don’t want to be arrested for assault or cause a scene.

“Sasha, what the hell are you doing here?” I ask and Ryan looks at me raising an eyebrow.

“Dude, what the hell? You know her?” he asks.

I nod my head as she giggles and presses some buttons on her phone.

“What are you doing?” I ask and she smiles and keeps playing with her phone.

“Sasha!” I yell. She jumps and looks at me while Ryan is busy trying to assess the situation.

“I’m posting our photo to Facebook,” she says and my entire body starts to shake with rage. I haven’t felt like this since the last time Sasha was in my presence.

“Fucking, no way. Take that photo down right now, Sasha,” I demand. She frowns and Ryan looks at me and throws his hands in the air.

“Fuck this lover’s tiff, I’m out,” he says walking away.

“Sasha, you delete that right now, or so help me God I won’t be held accountable for my actions,” I say and she huffs and rolls her eyes.

“Fine!” she replies and I watch as she deletes the post from Facebook.

“Thank you. Now I don’t know what fucked up game you’re playing or why the hell you’ve chosen now to come back, but please, leave me the hell alone and don’t come back. If you come near me again, I’ll have no alternative but to have you forcibly removed,” I tell her and she scowls and rolls her eyes.

“Whatever,” she replies while leaning in behind me and toward the bar.

“Just remember the fun times we could have had, Caleb. You’re throwing away a good thing, for what? For Indi? I know you’re still seeing her, even though you want everyone to think you’re not,” she whispers in my ear and then kisses my cheek. I flinch back and scowl.

“Don’t you dare even talk about her! You have no right, you crazy arse freak. Just stay the hell away from me,” I say and turn walking away from her. I put my hands into my pockets and walk straight out of the VIP area and down the stairs to get a chauffeured car to the hotel. I’m stewing, I’m so fucking angry that she’s here and she took a photo with me. If Indi saw it, it could ruin everything. I can’t have that happen. Reaching into my back pocket to pull out my phone and the realisation hits me that I left it on the bar.

“Fuck!” I murmur. I race back inside and up to the VIP area and across to the bar. My phone isn’t there and I have no idea what to do now. The bartender comes up to me as I check around the floor in case it fell.

“Everything okay, sir?” he asks.

“Umm, not really. Has anyone handed in a mobile phone?”

He smiles and nods. “Yes, just a few moments ago. I’ll grab it for you,” he says and relief floods my veins. I would hate for Indi to call and for me to have no way to tell her I had lost my phone.

 

Indi

 

I’m missing Caleb like crazy, but the wait now is only two weeks before I get to see him again, thank God. But he calls and Skypes and emails me all the time with photographs from the concerts and pictures of everyone. His hair is getting so long and I can’t wait to run my hands through it. It’s nice having this part of Caleb all to myself. It’s awesome being the secret girlfriend that the paparazzi don’t know exists and that only his family and friends do. I’m on break and I’m running through my emails on my phone when one from Caleb comes through.

 

To: Indica Malone

From: Caleb McCormack-Slade

Subject: Having such a great time ;)

 

I smile at the winky face on his subject tag line but then when I open the attachment my heart plummets to the floor. And then while it’s on the floor bleeding out it is pumping so fast that all the life inside of me is slowly escaping through every pore. I feel like I can’t breathe as I stare at a photograph of Caleb and Sasha hanging off of him, with her tits hanging out of her top and her lips firmly planted on his.

We discussed this. Sasha was a no-go for us. She’s a hard limit and for him to be emailing me a picture like this with the subject line, ‘Having such a great time’ well this is a new low even for him.

I feel physically ill.

I don’t understand this at all.

Have I done something to him? Have I treated him badly? Or is being away from me for so long made him forget about our rules?

Sasha is a deal breaker.

This is a deal breaker.

And right now I can’t hardly think straight as my eyes well with tears and my throat burns with acid. My stomach churns and I have no idea what I’m meant to do right now. I still have five hours of my shift left to work, but there’s no way I can, not now. So I make my way back to Ingrid, who’s my Duty Nurse for tonight. I shake violently trying to keep the bile down in my throat as I approach her.

“Shit Indi, are you okay?” she asks rushing to me.

I shake my head as I try not to gag.

“Do you need a doctor?” she asks.

I shake my head as my eyes well with tears and I try my hardest to fight them back.

“Okay, well, I think you need to go home. Are you okay to drive?” she asks.

I nod as she picks up my handbag and gives it to me. “Look, I don’t know what’s just happened, but I hope it works out,” she says. I nod and turn rushing out of the emergency ward and toward the exit so I can get to my car.

I’m barely holding it together as I’m shaking so much that my bones are rattling. I honestly don’t know if I should be driving, but I need to get out of here. My hands tremble as I try to pull my keys from my bag, but I can’t even open it. I’m fighting the tears as hard as I can, but the seal breaks and the hot salt water runs down my face and I start to sob. My body falls limp against my car and I cry into my hands as my body heaves from the violent sobbing. I can’t stay on my feet any longer as my knees begin to shake. My body slides down the side of my car and I end up in a ball on the concrete by the side of my car.

I’m lying on the concrete in the fresh Autumn frost, for I don’t even know how long when I hear my phone start to ring. I gather enough energy to pull myself up to lean against the car and even though I’m still shaking. I swipe the phone and answer the call, even though he’s the last person I want to hear from right now.

“What?” I whisper and there’s a short pause.

“Indi, baby, are you crying?” he asks and I want to yell at him. I want to punch his gorgeous face, but most of all I want him to hold me, to feel his arms around me. It’s been so long I can’t remember what it’s like.

“Why would you send that to me?” I ask.

“What?” he asks and I roll my eyes.

“The picture of you and Sasha, Caleb. Don’t play dumb. Are you sleeping with her again?” I ask blubbering through my sobs.

“What? God no. I wouldn’t go near her—”

“Yeah right. If you wouldn’t go near her then why did I have a photo of the two of you all cosy sent to my email, Caleb?” I ask and he’s quiet making my heart thump a little harder.

“I didn’t send it, Indi. I swear. I left my phone on the bar—”

“But why did you have a photo with Sasha? Why is she even there in the first place?” I ask starting to feel infuriated.

“I didn’t know she was here, baby. She hijacked me I swear, she jumped on me and kissed me. You know I wouldn’t have done this to you. Indi, you know me—”

“That’s the problem, Caleb, I do know you. You are a man-whore and I should’ve known that you couldn’t keep it in your pants.”

“Hey stop that. I was a man-whore, but that’s all in the past. I belong to you now. There’s no way I’m sleeping with any woman on this tour, baby. I swear I love you, Indi. I wouldn’t do that to you,” he says desperately.

I believe him. I know he’s not sleeping with her, he wouldn’t do that.

“Sorry, I know you’re not sleeping with her, but she was a rule, Caleb. A hard limit, remember? Remember what I said about her? Remember that I said if anything came up with her it would be the end of us?”

“Caleb, come back to bed,” I hear a woman’s voice and I sit up taller and gasp.

“What the?” he says and my eyes open so wide I think they’re going to explode out of my head.

“Caleb?” I whisper and I hear a kerfuffle.

“What the fuck are you doing in here?” he says muffling the phone, but I listen intently.

“I came over like you asked me too, babe. Let’s get naked again and do it in the shower this time,” I hear a woman say.

My mouth opens wide and I start to cry. How could he?

“Fuck! Shut up, Sasha, and get the fuck out of here.”

I shake my head, trying to rid the imagery and the ringing in my ears which is so loud it’s piercing my ear drums. I’ve heard enough and I hang up the phone. Anger surges through me like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I flame red hot and stand up with clenched fists, so forcefully my nails dig into my palms and the warmth of blood trickles down my skin. My breathing is rushed and harsh through my nostrils and I’m not sure if I’m actually getting any air in. I can’t contain my emotions any longer as I let out an almighty scream and punch the rear driver’s side window of my car smashing it into pieces and cutting my hand in the process. The shards of glass splintering my skin taking some of the edge off the pain I’m feeling. Right now, I need to get home and find a way to forget all about Caleb McCormack-Slade once and for all!