I took Indi back to my place so she could see where I lived and so we could spend some more quality time together. I needed to take her home the next morning so she could prepare for work and so I could drive into Oxfordshire. Everything just feels right. My music career is starting and it’s all because of Indi. It’s fitting that she should be with me to see it through from the start. We spent the rest of our time together making love and talking about the six years of our lives that we missed. She really has been very sheltered and she surprises me with the fact that she doesn’t really have a lot of friends. She said she has one friend at her work whose name is Kenzi or something weird like that. Indi says she’s quite the opposite of her, in the fact that she’s really loud and outgoing and can be pretty embarrassing at times. But they get along well and Kenzi is the only one who knows all about Indi’s past and all about me. I was kinda chuffed that she actually mentioned me to someone during the time we’ve been apart. It was nice to know that she still thought of me just like I thought about her. And it’s great she had someone like Kenzi to lean on when I couldn’t be there for her. I hope to meet her and thank her in person.

But for now I’m on my way to Oxfordshire with a smile on my face and an ache in my chest from how full of love my heart is for Indi.

Shit that sounded so lame! I don’t care! I love her. I don’t care if it makes me into a love sick fool. Like I’ve said before, I would shout it from the rooftops that I love her if she’d let me. But I understand her reservations in that department. So I will keep this to myself, for now.

I sing loudly along with the radio in my car for the hour and a half journey to Colt’s house. I can’t wait to have a rehearsal with the kids. Well, I guess they’re not really kids anymore, they’re all teenagers. Aston’s legally an adult, but because they’re seven or more years younger than me, they’ll always seem like kids to me. I’m in such a good mood as I hit the remote on the gate at Colt and Lia’s manor. I drive through as it opens noticing Chad’s car is already parked, I’m the last to arrive as usual. I chuckle to myself and pull the car to a stop grabbing my mobile from the console, I send a quick text message.

 

Me: Miss you already. xoxo

 

I hit send and shake my head at how easy it comes being in a relationship with Indi. As I unbuckle my belt my phone beeps just a second later and I open the message.

 

Indi: I miss you too, I can’t wait to see you again. Have a good practice. I have to start work now, but I’ll message on my break. I love you. <3 xo

 

I smile at her message and quickly type in a reply.

 

Me: Okay have a good shift. Save lives and stuff. lol Love you more. xo

 

Smirking at my text, I put my phone back in my pocket as I step out of my car and close the door. I can’t wipe the smile off my face as I knock on the front door. Aston answers with Annie hanging from his arm. I raise an eyebrow.

“So Colt’s okay with your PDA’s now then?” I ask and Aston opens his eyes wide at me like he’s terrified and Annie giggles.

“Dad’s…well, dad, he hates it. But after Mum gave him a thorough talking to about letting us live our lives together, well now, he tolerates us being together. Right babe?” she answers and Aston looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” he says looking down at her and smiling just to placate her. I chuckle to myself because I know Aston must be feeling torn. Poor kid. He wants to be with Annie more than anything but being affectionate with her around Colt nearby is probably something he really doesn’t feel entirely comfortable with. And now that Annie has Colt by the balls about it, she will be milking it for all it’s worth. Poor Aston. I walk inside the house and slap Aston on the back as I close the door behind me. We proceed down to the music room where everyone is waiting.

“Hey Caleb,” Chad calls out pulling his earphones from his head and waving a drumstick in the air.

“Hey, dude.”

He smiles and then puts the headphones back on and goes back into concentrating.

“Caleb, good you’re here,” Colt says as I move across to him. He stands up and I rush forward in my good mood and embrace him tightly. He chuckles and man hugs me back.

“You’re in a good mood. What’s this for?” he asks as Ella and Annie laugh.

“Just feeling grateful. This whole music thing is because of you and Indi, so without you guys this wouldn’t be happening,” I say.

“Indi hey? I haven’t heard that name or seen her for years. I wonder how she is?” he asks and then I remember she doesn’t want me saying anything to my family about us. So I lock my lips and lie.

“When I saw her at the hospital, she looked good.”

“You should try and catch up with her. You guys were really good friends. Invite her to a concert. You never know she might throw her shirt at you or something,” Colt teases. I laugh and blush slightly, thinking back to this morning when Indi did actually throw her shirt at me, but it was while we were getting naked and about to make love.

“Yeah maybe, she’s pretty busy. She has a whole other life now, I’m sure she wouldn’t care about me anymore,” I say with a smirk. Colt furrows his brows at me like he’s confused by my dismissal of her.

“Okay. Well anyway, we need to get a rehearsal in before we have another gig tomorrow night,” he says just as my mobile rings. I nod at Colt and look down at my phone to see that Sasha’s calling. I forgot to send her that thank you text, so I figure I better say thank you now. I walk out of the music room and swipe to answer the call.

“Hey Sasha.”

“Hey Caleb, you sound better than when I last spoke to you,” she says and I smile because thanks to her, I am.

“I’m doing better, much better! I took your advice and I went to see Indi. We sorted things out and we’re doing great now. I wanted to send you a text to say thanks, but I got caught up. So thank you,” I say and she’s quiet down the line. “Sasha?”

“Yeah, I’m here. So you and Indi are back on then?”

“Yeah, but we’re not telling anyone, so please don’t say anything.”

“Okay. I was wondering, can I see you again?” she asks and I furrow my brows wondering, is she stupid?

“Umm…I don’t think that’s such a great idea, me being back with Indi and all?” I hear her exhale.

“Okay, it was worth a try.”

I get an uneasy feeling, but I let it slide when Annie walks out of the music room and into the hall to find me.

“Cuz c’mon, we got jammin’ to do,” she calls out.

I nod and smile as she walks back into the room. “Look, Sasha, thank you for what you did for me, but I need to concentrate on Indi and the band now. I’m sorry,” I say and she says nothing. “Okay, well, I have to go, I have rehearsals. It was nice talking to you. I wish you well, Sasha,” I say and wait for her to respond.

“Okay, I understand how it is. I’ll catch ya round,” she says and hangs up.

I exhale and run my hand through my hair and shake my head. I think I dodged a bullet there. Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I walk back into the music room to start rehearsals.

 

***

 

After rehearsals, I drove back home to London so I could be there when Indi arrives after her night shift. I’m in bed half asleep. I knew she would be here late, and she told me not to wait up, but I can’t help but wait patiently for her. I gave her a key so she could let herself in, after much debate with her about whether it was too soon to be doing that. I told her I didn’t want to get out of bed to answer the door, trying to run my reverse psychology on her and it worked. Immediately, she took the key and said I definitely shouldn’t be waiting up or having to get out of bed to answer the door, so maybe a key was the right idea. Sometimes playing on Indi’s weaknesses helps her see things my way. So, I’m half asleep listening to the sounds of the early morning television when I hear the front door creek. My eyes flutter open and I look toward my bedroom door, rubbing my eyes so I don’t look as tired as I feel when she comes in. She peeks her head through the door and she looks exhausted, so much so I want to run over and carry her to the bed. I sit up and she smiles at me while walking in and placing her bag on the drawers.

“Hey baby,” I say and pat the bed next to me.

“Hey, you should be asleep,” she says as she steps out of her shoes and starts to undress. I stand up and walk over to her because she looks like she’s about to fall over.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just drained. Tonight was crazy busy. My feet are so sore,” she says as she pulls off her cardigan and looks around for a place to hang it. I take it from her and place it on the top of the clothes basket. She smiles at me and then starts to unbutton her blouse.

“Do you want to shower?” I ask and she shakes her head.

“No, I just want to cuddle up with you in bed and sleep for like a year. A patient passed away tonight, it always rattles me.”

I purse my lips and lean in hugging her. “I’m sorry, is there anything I can do?”

“No, it’s just that it was an overdose. They always brings back memories, you know?”

My heart starts to pound as images of that terrible night seeing her dad dead on her lounge room floor flood my brain. I close my eyes while I lean in kissing her head.

“You are one of the strongest women I know. I don’t think you realise just how utterly extraordinary you are.”

“Well, I don’t feel very strong or extraordinary right now,” she says and I lean back and continue to unbutton her blouse.

“Then let me be the strong one for you. You do whatever you need to, to keep afloat and I’ll be the waves that hold you up.” I pull her blouse over her shoulders and then place it with her cardigan.

“You’re such a poet you know that?”

“Only with you,” I reply as she unzips her skirt and steps out of it placing it with her other clothes. I lean in and undo her bra and she looks down at my nakedness and giggles.

“You sleep naked all the time, or just when you’re waiting for me?” she asks as she wriggles out of her panties.

“I guess I’ve been waiting all my life for you, so always naked.”

She giggles leaning in and wrapping her arms around me. I bend down and lift cradling her to me. She nuzzles in, not squealing like normal as I lift her, showing how exhausted she really is. I had dreams of taking her from behind when she got home, but I can see that will have to wait until the morning. I walk over to the bed and gently place her naked body down on the soft mattress. She rolls onto her side and into the fetal position and I smile and crawl onto the bed behind her. I reach for the remote and turn off the television and move in behind her pulling her naked back to my front. Her cool temperature sends a chill down my warm body. Dragging the bed sheets up to encase us, I wrap myself around her tightly to try and warm her body. I can hear her slow, languid and deep breathing as I nuzzle in behind her ear. She’s so peaceful right now, and this right here is a peace I’ve needed all my life.

“I love you,” I whisper and kiss behind her ear.

“Mmm,” she murmurs back and then drifts off to sleep.

I’m so content. Sure, making love with her would’ve been great, but having her in my arms and slowly drifting off to sleep is just about as perfect as it can possibly get. Just having her with me is enough and after the night she’s had, she needs to rest and recover. And I’ll be here in the morning if she needs to talk to me about her work or to talk about her dad, or her mum, or anything else she needs to discuss. Tomorrow or any time she wants to talk about them, I’m here for her. No matter what, no matter the pain, the torture, the bad memories for both of us, I’m here for her through it all. I will be her rock, her light, her knight in shining armour if she wants me to be. For Indi, I will be anything, and right now I need to be a safe and warm place for her to sleep. I cuddle into her and close my eyes encompassed by her flowery scented hair.

 

***

 

When Indi woke up, she was still a little sad from her previous night’s loss at work. We talked about it briefly. It’s amazing how open and honest we can be with each other. It’s just like we have moved straight back to the seventeen-year-old kids we were when we would tell each other everything. Nothing was too embarrassing or nerve-wracking to talk about. We are so comfortable with each other, it’s almost sickening even to me. I bet anyone looking in on us would think we are one loved up couple. The problem is no one knows about us, or will know about us for a while. At least until Indi is comfortable with the idea of people knowing, and I am okay with that, really. I just wish that her past wasn’t so fucked up so that if people were to bring things up it wouldn’t hurt her so badly. I know that’s what’s stopping her, not that she’s ashamed of me or anything. I know she loves me, and wishes we could tell people. But I understand more than anyone how the press can ruin things and twist stories to make them even worse than you thought humanly possible. I don’t know how they could make her parents’ deaths worse than they were, but I’m sure they could think of something or some way to torture Indi. And, to be honest, I’m not willing to risk it or put her through that. So a secret we must stay until she’s ready to face whatever they will throw at her, at us.

I tried to talk her into coming to tonight’s concert, but she had to work again. I made up so many excuses for her to be sick, but she laughed at me and told me to stop being so desperate. I laughed with her and drove her to work, then continued on to tonight’s venue. It’s at the Iron City in Birmingham, so I have to drive just over two hours from home to get there. I’ll drive anywhere as long as I get to play music at the other end.

 

***

 

I’m at the stadium and we’ve drawn a large crowd. We’re the main act tonight, but there are a couple of other bands too. Rob did an excellent job signing us up for this gig at such short notice. Annie and Aston are still hanging off each other, and where it would normally make me wanna puke, now that I have a love in my life it makes me smile knowing they have what I have. I’m happy for them. Truly and utterly happy that my cousin and one of my best friends have found a safe and comfortable place in each other. And it’s kinda cool that Colt is letting them be together. I can see he’s still against it, but he is letting them be. Which is good. Our music is all the better for it.

I’m standing right on the wing of the stage just before I’m about to head out. I’m doing my usual jumping on the spot and warming up my vocal cords as the others run up onto the stage ready to start our set.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I look up figuring I have just enough time to check it.

 

Indi: Good luck baby, smash it tonight. xoxo

 

I smile and put the phone back in my pocket and jump up and down once more. Then I hear my cue to race up onto the stage with adrenalin pumping and heart racing so fast I feel like I’m flying. An image of Indi sweeps through my mind and the brightest smile crosses my face. Indi and music, my two great loves and I’m combining them right now to hopefully give a stellar performance. I grab the mic and look over at Annie and Aston, who are standing back to back grinning like there’s no tomorrow. And I know that this, right here, being on stage, and being with Indi, is how my life is exactly meant to be.