I run off the stage on such an immense high that nothing could bring be down from it. I pull my guitar strap off over my shoulders and place it on the stand watching Mum kiss Dad and wishing him luck before he goes on the stage for the first time in a long while. It’s cute that they’re still so in love after all this time.

I hope I get a love story like theirs.

I smile as Dad grabs hold of Mum’s arse pulling her closer to him and he kisses her a little too affectionately for my liking. So I turn my head with a giggle and look toward the back of the stage area. Straight away I notice Danger lurking and smiling at me. My body jolts alive and I grin back as his eyes trace over my body seductively. I feel some powerful force wrapping its arms around me like a lasso and pulling me toward him. Casually, well I hope it looks that way, I walk over to Danger as his sparkling eyes run up and down my body. It makes me feel like he thinks I’m the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. I love that he can make me feel that way with just a single look.

He takes a step toward me meeting me halfway taking my hand in his caressing it tenderly.

“You played well tonight, sugar.”

I suddenly feel like a shy little school girl.

“Thanks, so did you. You have a really great voice. Like you can do amazing things with your mouth,” I say and then open my eyes wide in shock at what I’ve just stated.

He chuckles and smirks. “You’re adorable when you’re nervous. Do I make you nervous?” he asks stepping in so close, I can feel his heat penetrating into my body. He brings his hand up to caress my cheek as he tucks a blonde curl behind my ear.

“Maybe a little,” I admit. His fascinating eyes look right into mine and my heart races so fast I think I actually stop breathing as he stares at me. It’s like time stands still. He leans in so close that I can smell the beer on his breath and surprisingly it’s a turn on. I lick my lips and he leans in further pressing his lips softly to my cheek. I close my eyes and revel in his lips being on me. He chuckles slightly and pulls back infinitesimally looking right back in my eyes. Our lips so close, if I moved slightly, they’d be touching.

“I’m glad I make you nervous, sugar. I like the way your chest heaves when I’m around you and the way your hand is shaking in mine. I love the doe eye look in your eyes, the look that says you crave to be near me. It tells me everything I need to know about you. We’re going to have a lot of fun, sugar, and I honestly can’t wait to taste you. To see how sweet you really are,” he says inching closer and closer to my lips. It’s like I’m under his spell and he’s drawing me in.

Our chemistry is sizzling off the charts hot, and I feel like I’m about to combust from the inside out as he leans in licking his lips. I hardly know this guy, but my body wants to know every inch of him, and right now as he inches closer and closer, my mind is focused solely on one thing, his soft lips that are coming toward mine right now. I close my eyes and prepare for my first kiss. My heart is racing. I never knew it would feel this intense to kiss someone, but Danger is teasing me and having his lips inching closer is making me impatient for his touch. I need to feel him against me. Parting my lips slightly, I wait for the impact, but in a sweet gesture his lips gently kiss the tip of my nose. I open my eyes with a slow smirk crossing my face and watch him as he backs away from me.

“A kiss on the nose?” I ask breathlessly as my legs are still wobbling from the thought that he was actually going to kiss me.

“Where else would I kiss you, sugar? I hardly know you. I’m not some man-whore who goes around kissing random chicks.”

I furrow my brows and shake my head. “Oh no, that’s not what I meant at all.”

He smirks and let’s go of my hand and instantly I resent the loss of contact, suddenly feeling freezing.

“Yeah well, that’s how it sounded.”

Have I offended him?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I swear. I was just shocked that’s all. I mean I just thought you were going to kiss me, and then you didn’t and I was surprised as to why you didn’t—”

“Yeah, because you think I’m the type of guy to kiss a chick after meeting her briefly just two times?” he asks and I shake my head. “That says more about you than it does about me, sugar. If you wanted me to kiss you after the little interaction we’ve had then maybe you’re the one who’s the kissing-whore?”

I furrow my brows and fold my arms over my chest. “Excuse me? I’m not a kissing-whore! For your information, smart arse, I’ve never kissed a guy before. So there goes your theory,” I say and then open my eyes wide at the gigantic smirk that’s plastered across his face.

“You’ve never kissed a guy before?”

I huff and turn away, more in annoyance at myself than anything else.

“Right, well, this just got awkward. Sorry for calling you that.”

I turn back to face him and exhale. “Sorry for calling you a man-whore.”

He smiles and that smile goes directly to his luminous, sparkling eyes. Immediately, he places his hand out for me to shake.

I smirk and take his hand. Instead of shaking he pulls me to him and I squeal at his forceful behaviour when our bodies collide together. I look up at him and he smirks and looks down at me.

“You’re as sexy as hell, sugar, but I need to be careful where I’m going with you. You’re dangerous territory, and you could be a lot of trouble for me. I’m on my guard with you, okay?”

I crinkle my brows as he wraps his arms around my waist and holds my body flush with his. I have no idea what he means, but I simply nod getting lost in the brilliance of his eyes once again.

“Right, so we’re on the same page then?” he asks.

I have no idea what book we’re even reading, but I’ll go along with whatever he has to say because his face is a marvel to stare at and I want to get lost in the pages of this epic novel.

“Uh-huh,” I murmur and he smirks.

“Good.” Then he lets me go and turns me around slapping my arse. I jump and turn back to glower at him.

“What was that for?” I ask and he smiles and turns and walks away.

“Danger?” I call out, confused by his departure. “Danger!” I call out once more, but he doesn’t turn around and he’s soon at the side of the stage watching the Slayed performance, where he wouldn’t be able to hear me anyway.

What the fuck was that?

I’m left standing at the back of the stage with a throbbing right arse cheek and a brain that’s racing a million miles an hour trying to figure out what on earth just happened. We nearly kissed, then we had a fight, then he walked away, all in the space of a few minutes. Are we in an argument right now, or are we on good terms? I have no idea! This guy’s giving me whiplash and I’ve only met him twice.

I notice Chad walking up to me and the knot in my stomach returns. I wish I knew what the deal was with that thing lately. I choose to ignore it.

“Hey Ella, how amazing was the show?” he asks wrapping his arm around my shoulders making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

“Meh, it was okay, I guess,” I say as my eyes are transfixed on Danger watching Slayed.

“Okay? Umm, were you playing the same concert I was ‘cause that shit was going off?”

I look at him and raise an eyebrow. He chuckles and pulls me closer to him. I wrap my arm around his waist and cuddle right back.

“Yeah, I suppose it was pretty awesome. Being on stage is fun, and rocking it out to a packed house is a dream come true.”

“Then why are you a Depressed Drusilla?” he asks.

I look at him and can’t hold back my giggle. “I’m not a Depressed Drusilla, I’m just…confused, I guess.”

Chad smirks and looks down at me raising an eyebrow. “Oh right, wondering about what it would be like to snog another chick? Yeah, I can totally help you achieve that fantasy. If you want I can even be there when you snog her, just to make sure you do it right,” he teases and I slap his chest and shake my head.

“You’re an idiot. No Danger over there. He acts like he likes me, but then he fully deflects me too. I don’t know what his deal is.”

I notice Chad’s body tense against mine. I look up at him and he’s looking at Danger and flaring his nostrils.

“Look, Ella, I’ve known you your entire life and Danger is not the guy for you.”

“Everyone keeps saying that.”

“Well then, it’s probably true,” he says and then leans in kissing my temple. A surge of electricity runs through my body from his kiss just like it always does when Chad kisses me. It’s repeatedly happened ever since we were young, so I just put it down to us knowing each other for like, forever. But now that I have something similar happening with Danger I’m starting to question what all these little tingles and feelings might mean.

“I heard him calling you sugar earlier, what’s with that?” he asks.

I look up at him as he looks down at me. “What? I like it. I think it’s…sweet,” I reply and he chuckles.

“Well, I think it’s a cop-out. He’s basically like calling you a condiment. Hey, salt, how you doing today? How’s it going, pepper? What’s been going on?” he teases and I purse my lips at his teasing.

“Shut up! You’re just jealous because you didn’t think of calling me sugar first,” I say and he puts his hand on his chest feigning shock.

“Oh, you got me. You saw right through me. I’ll just have to stick to the other condiments instead, right sweet chili sauce?”

I laugh loudly which diffuses my confused and bad mood immediately. Chad can always cheer me up, even if he is being an idiot.

“Right, I’ve had enough of this, wanna go back to the green room?” I ask.

Chad nods and tightens his hold around my shoulders and pulls me to him as we walk down the long corridor to the green room.

“So, Danger, hey? What sort of name is that anyway? Seriously?”

“Shut up, leave him alone.”

Chad chuckles and leans in kissing my temple again. “I just wanna see you happy, Ella. You’ve been my friend for a long time and I, you know, kinda like you every now and then. Especially when you’re nice and stuff. So just make good choices is all I’m saying,” he tells me as we enter the green room.

“So you think Danger isn’t a good choice?” I ask as he detaches himself from me and walks over to the fridge.

“I’m not saying he’s a bad choice, I’m just saying there are better choices out there.” He grabs a water bottle from the fridge and then throws it at me. I catch it and he grabs one for himself while I walk over to the lounge suite and sit down. He follows and sits down next to me, right next to me so our legs are touching. “I guess, I’m just saying that guys like Danger are…well, really to me he doesn’t look like a decent guy. Now does he? And you, Ella, you’re a princess…in the nicest possible way. You need a prince, not a creature of the night,” he says making me laugh.

“But what if he was a knight in shining armor?”

“Who needs a knight in shining armor when you could have the court jester?” he replies and I furrow my brows wondering what he means by that.

“Why would I want a clown when I could have a knight? That makes no sense?”

“It makes perfect sense, Princess Ella. You’re a lover, not a fighter. Your partner should be the same. A knight is a fighter, a clown is a lover, and trust me lovers make better lovers,” he says raising his eyebrows insinuatingly as he enunciates the last word.

“Oh my God Chad, you’re so weird.”

He leans in close and continues to raise his eyebrows up and down at me with the biggest smirk. I put my hand to his face and push him away from me. He laughs and rests back onto the lounge and takes a sip of his water.

“But seriously, baking soda, don’t get too invested in Danger. He’s only after one thing,” Chad says.

I purse my lips and nod because he’s probably right. “Well, yeah. I can’t help but want to get to know him more, though. There’s something about him, Chad. There’s a spark, some sort of energy that surges between us. I need to find out more about that before I can dismiss whatever it is.”

Chad goes quiet and I turn to look at him and notice he’s frowning.

“Chad?” I ask and he looks up at me and sighs.

“So you actually do like him then?”

I throw my hands in the air and exhale. “Yes, that’s what I’ve been trying to say all along. There’s something about him, something that makes everything in me feel incredible. I don’t know what it is, but I need to find out more.”

Chad rolls his eyes and takes a large sip of his water. “Well, just know I’m here like always if you need me. I’ll be the clown to your knight,” he says. I furrow my brows wondering why he would say that, and what that means exactly, but I’m distracted by Caleb walking in and he looks happy. Which is nice.

“I’m gonna go get some food,” I say to Chad. To which he nods and goes to get up and come with me.

“No, you stay. I’ll be back in a bit.”

He squeezes his brows tightly together sensing I want to be alone, he shrugs and takes another large gulp of his water.

“I might go watch the show anyway,” he says and I nod as we both walk out of the green room and then separate and head in opposite directions.

Things got a little weird in there and, to be honest, my nerves are shot. I just need to go and eat something and seeing as I ate all the platters in the green room, I need to search for the kitchen. On finding the kitchen, I make my way in and find the fridge. I find it almost straight away and it’s massive, so big in fact that I can actually walk inside it. So I step in and look around to find more platters of food. I’m not sure if they’re for the after party or something else, but I don’t care, I’m starving. I grab the nearest fruit platter and head out of the fridge then turn around to see Annie sitting on the bench with her head in her hands.

“Oh, hey sis, are you hungry too?” I ask not looking at Annie while I walk over and sit down next to her, placing the tray on the bench. “Great show, hey?” I ask and then Annie bursts into full on tears. I turn to look at her and wrap my arms around her tightly.

“Oh Annie, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she says hardly audible through her sobs.

“Right, yeah, I can see that. Who upset you? Can’t be Dad because he’s on stage that only leaves Aston. Do I need to castrate him?” I ask trying to lighten the mood.

“You sound like, Dad,” Annie says softly.

I lean in and pull her chin up and drag her hands away from her face then pull her in for another hug.

“Talk to me, Annie. I’m your sister, let me help you.”

“It’s Aston,” she says.

“You guys have a fight? Must’ve been huge to make you this upset.”

“We ah…we kinda—”

“Spit it out, Annie.”

“We had sex,” she whispers and I open my eyes wide in shock.

“Oh, was it terrible?”

“No, it was wonderful—”

I raise an eyebrow and smirk. “Then why are you crying?”

“Because it’s what happened after that ruined everything.”

I frown and cross my arms over my chest. “Did he hurt you? Did he use you for sex, Annie?”

She shakes her head adamantly. “No. He…he said…he loves me.”

I rub her back trying to figure this out in my head, but nothing I think of is helping me understand why she’s so upset. “Umm Annie, I’m a little bit lost. Shouldn’t you be happy that he loves you? Don’t you love him?”

“I…I don’t know. I might, but that’s beside the point. He said it to me, and I know it’s not true.”

I furrow my brows. “Annie, I’m lost.”

“I thought you of all people would get it, Ella. How can someone love me? My parents didn’t love me enough to keep me, so how can anyone else?”

My forehead creases and I’m a little taken aback. “Well, me and Mum and Dad love you and you’re okay with that. Why is Aston loving you any different?”

She groans and throws her hands up in the air in frustration. “Because you and Mum and Dad have to love me. You have no choice. Aston has a choice. Who would want to love me? I’m broken; I’m moody; I’m angry; I’m selfish; I’m not even pretty, and I’m boring as hell. So why? Tell me why the hell would Aston actually love me, huh? He doesn’t, and he’s lying to try to make me feel better, but it backfired because I can see straight through his lie. Why’d he have to lie to me, Ella? Why?”

“Annie, I think you’re seeing this all wrong. I know Aston loves you and he really does care. I’ve known for months Annie, and it is the real deal. He isn’t lying about it because you are worthy of love. Don’t bring your fuckhead birthparents into this, Annie. I know that’s what you’re doing. You think because they didn’t love you no one will or can. Well, I call bullshit Annie…I call bullshit!”

Annie rolls her eyes. “You don’t get it. I thought you would be the one person who would understand, and now I just feel like I’m completely alone. Maybe it’s better this way.”

“Annie, you’re not alone. You never were nor will be. We’re all here for you. Even when you’re freaking out and losing your shit for some bullshit reason because you’re actually scared of letting someone love you for you. Let Aston in Annie. Don’t push him away, because you did that last time and you were miserable until you finally got together. And without him you’ll just be miserable again, but this time he might not wait around for you to realise,” I say and she scrunches her face tight like she’s in pain.

“I can’t be with him, Ella. I just can’t do it.”

I rub her back and cuddle with her as she falls apart in front of me. “Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But just think about this, okay? You and Aston have been blissfully happy for a year, a whole year, just over actually, and you’re going to throw it all away because you’re scared—”

“I’m not fucking scared!” Annie yells at me making me wince.

“I’m just saying that maybe you need to try and get to the root of the reason you’re so upset right now.”

“I know why because he lied about loving me and now I can’t trust him. Bottom line, we’re done,” Annie says and she stands up to walk off.

I grab her arm and pull her to me embracing her tightly. She gives in and hugs me back as she sobs hard into my shoulder I feel like crying too. I hate seeing my sister so desperately unhappy and upset like this, especially when her logic is so very flawed. Her legs give way and we both slide to the floor of the kitchen. I hold onto her tightly while Annie mourns the loss of her amazing relationship with her best friend and first ever boyfriend. This is going to make life and the tour very difficult.

I tried to console Annie best I could and then Mum came in and spoke to her. Annie was honest and opened up to Mum telling her everything that happened. Unfortunately, then Annie had a panic attack and passed out. It was very emotional to watch and I had to go and get Caleb to come and take her from the kitchen area to the green room so the medic could assess her.

We took her to the hospital where the doctors evaluated her and ran some tests. They did some sort of psych evaluation and when we get back from the tour Annie is going to see a proper shrink. I think she really struggles with being adopted. More than what I do. I mean I have my moments of ‘why didn’t they want me’ but not in the same way Annie does.

When Annie woke up in the hospital, she was adamant she wanted to swap around the stage arrangements for the band for the rest of the tour. It’s not the way Staked perform, but if it keeps Annie’s sanity, then we all agreed that it’s what we would do. I’m just so angry that all this stems from Annie’s insecurities about her birth parents. I know what it’s like to not know why they chose not to keep you, and to have all the emotion tied up in the ‘what if’s and maybe’s’ of what would our lives have been like with our birth parents.

I sometimes wonder who mine are. Of course, I’d love to know who they are, but at the same token, if they’re horrible people I think I’d rather not know. Being adopted isn’t the worst thing in the world. I mean it brought me to my parents, and I can’t imagine not having them in my life. It’s brought me to my friends and my now family. It also brought me music and my life wouldn’t have had any of that without my parents, so I’m desperately lucky. When I think about how lucky I am, it makes me wonder why Annie can’t see that. She only sees the negatives, where all I can see are the positives. To me, Annie should be high on life right now and in love with her boyfriend, but instead she’s living in the past, making the people who left her win for their sins. It’s crazy to me. She’s letting the past rule her future and that’s not the way I want to live.

For me, it’s only upwards and onwards.