I stayed awake for most of the night, but I couldn’t get my head around the idea that Indi left because of ‘Saving Grace.’ I hope she didn’t hate it because all my emotion was immersed into that song and I wanted to show her how much she means to me. I roll over in bed and look at the clock, it shows ten-twenty a.m. and I figure it’s not too early to call Indi to see what last night was really about.

I pick up my phone and dial her number. My heart races as always waiting for her to answer and just when I think she isn’t going to, she does.

“Hello,” she says in her soft, angelic voice.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“I feel better, thanks. Think it was just a bad headache. How was your party?” she asks, but her voice is restrained and quiet.

“It was okay, nothing to rave about.”

“Oh well, at least you finally got to perform on a stage.”

“Yeah, that was awesome. The best feeling ever.”

She’s quiet for a moment and then she breaks the awkward silence. “Anyway I better go, I’m running late for work,” she tells me and panic sets in. I need to see her.

“Indi, wait! Can I see you? Maybe take you out on a date?” I ask trying not to sound as desperate as I am.

She pauses and my heart is galloping so fast that if I were in a race, I’d win. Perhaps I’m taking this too quickly?

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Caleb,” she says and my heart stops, then thuds heavily back to life again beating harder than it was before.

“Why not?”

She exhales. “Because after seeing you perform last night, maybe you’re better off being single? Being a rock star will bring heaps of women—”

“I don’t want heaps of women, Indi. There’s only one woman I want and that’s you.”

She pauses again.

“Okay, how ‘bout this? If you don’t feel comfortable calling it a date, we can just catch up as friends. I feel like there’s so much that needs to be said and even more for us to catch up on. I just want to know how you’ve been and see if we can build a friendship like we once had…well, before everything went so drastically wrong for us. Give us another chance, Indi? Please?”

She pauses again, and I can hear the blood racing through my veins, it’s pumping so loudly in my ears that it’s all I can hear.

“Okay,” she whispers finally and my heart jumps right into my throat.

“Okay?” I question making sure I heard her right.

“Yes Caleb, I’ll meet up with you,” she finally says.

I smile brightly and throw my fist into the air. I would scream out ‘yes’ but I think that might be a little inappropriate and will probably scare Indi off. So I keep my cool.

“Okay great. When are you free?”

“You can pick me up after work if you want? I have an early finish tonight, so you could come and get me at seven?”

“Seven it is. Do I just come into the emergency ward?” I ask and she chuckles.

“No, I’ll meet you in the carpark,” she replies, but she seems less quiet now. Maybe she’s as excited about this as I am?

“Thank you.”

“It’s just two old friends catching up, Caleb. That’s all,” she says and I purse my lips.

“Okay, two friends, nothing more.”

She goes quiet again. I wish I knew what she was thinking.

“I really have to go, but I’ll see you tonight.”

I nod even though she can’t see me. “I’m looking forward to it. And Indi?”

“Yeah?”

I pause wondering whether I should say this or not. “I’m glad you’re back in my life, it’s felt empty with you gone.” I hear her sniff and I can’t help but think she might be crying. “Indi? Are you okay?” I hear her sniff again.

“I’m fine. I’ve missed you too, but I really have to go. I’ll see you later.”

I go to speak, but she hangs up the phone. I exhale and roll on my back and smile. Indi is going to meet up with me tonight and I couldn’t be more excited if I tried!

I race out of bed and start to plan my night with her. There’s a park and a river by her work. We could go for a walk and see where we go from there. I don’t want to plan too much in case she thinks it’s over the top. What I would love to do is something romantic, but I really don’t want to scare her away before we’ve had a chance to talk. I guess my plan is to just take her for a walk and maybe sit by on the river bank and chat. I think that’s definitely what’s needed.

I take myself to the shower to make sure I’m all fresh and clean. I know it’s still hours away, but I’m excited. I can imagine all I’m going to be doing all day is thinking about what needs to be said and how exactly I should say it.

 

***

 

I spent all day fussing about deciding what clothes to wear and how to do my hair. After changing outfits for the seventh time, I decided to keep it casual. Jeans, a black vest and my leather jacket. My hair has minimal product in it so it looks nice and clean. I don’t want to look filthy and have her thinking I need to shampoo my hair like she thought the boys from Peripheral needed. My look is simple but still hot. I know I’m sexy ‘cause I have the looks. I know Indi thinks I’m sexy. Let’s face it, what rock star doesn’t ooze sex appeal, right?

I get in my car and make my way over to the hospital. My hands are sweating against the leather steering wheel and I feel like I’m shaking, but I know I’m not. It’s just nerves. Indi turns me into a love sick puppy and no one else has ever had the power that she has over me. That scares me because she holds all the cards and I have absolutely none to play. She will always be the one who controls our relationship in whatever direction it goes whether it be friendship or something more. She’s the one who basically rules our destiny and that scares the shit out of me. I like to be in control. I like to be the one making the big decisions. But with Indi, I don’t tend to have a choice in the matter. My heart is hers for either the taking or the breaking. It’s just up to her which one of those choices she favours.

I pull up in the car park of the hospital and step out making my way to the back of the building. I can’t see her anywhere, so I lean up against a brick pillar and wait patiently. My nerves are unsettled and I’m even breathing quickly, so quickly it’s almost hard to get any breath in. I bring my hand up and notice that this time I am shaking a little.

“Get a grip!” I whisper to myself and then look down at my watch. Five past seven. I nod and glance toward the sliding doors to see if she’s coming, but I don’t see her. I guess five minutes late is not that bad. I chew on my bottom lip as I watch people walking in and out of the hospital, but none of them are Indi.

It’s now quarter past and I’m starting to wonder if something is wrong. My lip is starting to hurt a little from all the attention I’ve have been giving it with my teeth. I look over at my car and think maybe she has decided not to meet me after all. Maybe I should just walk back to my car and go home instead of looking like the lovesick fool that I am. This is ridiculous, I could have my pick of women, and here I am yearning for the attention of this one woman, the only woman I will ever care about.

I hear running, so I turn to see Indi rushing toward me carrying her bag. She’s changed out of her nurses uniform into some tight-as-fuck black pants, that hug her in all the right places. She also has on a red jumper that’s a bit too long for my liking. I’d rather be able to see her hips, but it clings to them and drapes just below her mid-thighs. She looks smoking hot, and I feel my cock twitch in my pants while I watch her running with her head down. She’s beautiful even when frazzled. As she comes rushing out of the door, she still has her head down looking at her phone, so I step in front of her and she rams right into me without looking up.

“Shit,” Indi says as I chuckle and grab hold of her arms before she falls over. “I’m so sorry,” she apologises looking up at me and then relaxes in my grip. “Oh phew! I thought you were some stranger that I just catapulted myself into.” The tingle shooting from her arm into my hands is making me want to giggle like a fucking school girl. She makes me feel things I never have with anyone else.

“It’s all good, I don’t mind you throwing yourself at me.” I raise an eyebrow at her and she rolls her eyes and shakes her head. I know I should probably let her go, but I’m enjoying the feelings that come with having my hands on her. She looks up at me and we’re so close that I can feel the sparks shooting between us. The mutual attraction is still definitely there and all I want to do is lean in and kiss her right now, but I won’t. I don’t want her to leave, and she might if I do that.

“Thanks for catching me,” she says breathlessly as she looks up into my eyes. Her blue sparkling eyes are staring at me and I know she’s feeling everything I am right now. I can tell by the way she’s inching closer to me.

“I will always catch you, Indi.”

She smiles and breaks eye contact just as the chemistry was sizzling out of control. I’m still holding onto her arms and she hasn’t made any attempt to free herself from my grip. I loosen my hold on her and open my arms slightly seeing if she’ll take the hint and hug me. She swallows hard and looks back into my eyes.

“If you wanted a hug you could just ask for one you know?”

I smirk and chew on my lip. “Can I have a hug?”

“No,” she says and my heart thumps hard in my chest.

“I’m kidding, you big dick,” she says and then leans forward wrapping herself tightly around my torso and nuzzling her head into my chest. I instantly feel warmth running through me as I wrap my arms around her and snuggle my head into her flowery scented hair. She smells incredible and my cock twitches again.

Down boy!

“I’m sorry about being late. We had a patient go into cardiac arrest and I couldn’t leave until he was stable,” she says as she nuzzles into me further.

“You were late? I hadn’t noticed,” I say trying to sound upbeat and blasé about it, so she doesn’t realise how secretly panicked I really was.

She pulls back, but I keep my arms wrapped around her tightly. I can’t let her go just yet. I feel warm like I’m home when she’s touching me and I honestly don’t know how I can ever give this feeling up.

“So what are we doing tonight?” she asks and I bring my hand up and tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Well, I was thinking we could go for a walk, and maybe sit down and catch up on what we’ve been doing the last six years?”

“Sounds good to me. Have you still got that old car that you used to have? Bessy I think her name was, right?” she asks and I chuckle and shake my head.

“Oh, good ole Bessy. She was a beauty. No, now my sweet lady I have a beast. Wait till you meet Swartzy,” I say and she raises an eyebrow and looks at me smirking.

“Swartzy?”

“Yeah, named after Schwarzenegger. My car is like the Terminator, it terminates all other cars on the road leaving them for dust,” I say trying not to laugh.

She bites her bottom lip. I’d like to bite that bottom lip! She looks like she’s trying not to laugh.

“Seriously? That’s what you named your car?”

Shrugging. “Nah, I just made that shit up on the spot. I really should name my car though, I pretty much just call her my baby.”

She throws her head back and laughs loudly. “You really are a dick. C’mon, show me your baby then.”

I finally let her go and turn around and walk toward my Lexus. She follows next to me, I desperately want to grab her hand, but I decide not to.

“So how was work? Did the flat-liner live?”

She chuckles. “Yes, he did, for now. The rest of the day was fine too. What did you do today?” she asks and I take a deep breath.

Think about you all day and panic about what to wear, so you’d find me irresistible!

“Oh, nothing much, just relaxing after last night,” I lie as I walk up to the car and click the button to unlock her.

“Holy shit, Caleb. This is your car?”

I laugh and raise an eyebrow. “What, I can’t have a nice car?”

“Umm…of course, I just wasn’t expecting this,” she says gesturing with her hands. I open the door for her and she slides onto the low seat then I move around the car and get in. I glance across and watch as she’s running her hand over the elegant interior like it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

I want to run my hands all over you like that, Indi!

“So have you eaten?” I ask and she nods and looks across at me.

“Yeah, I had a dinner break at five.”

“Right, so just want to go for a walk then?” I ask and she nods. I smile and turn on the ignition to start the short drive down to the river.

The car ride is a silent one, but I can feel the energy pulsing between us. The attraction is still there. I don’t know how she feels or where she wants this to go, but in my eyes if I don’t at least attempt to kiss her I’ll feel like a failure.

I pull up into the car park and turn off the ignition. There’s tension in the air that’s so thick you could cut it with a knife. It’s an awkward tension like neither of us knows what to say, mixed with the feeling of wanting to lean over and rip each other’s clothes off. It’s unnerving and I’m not really sure how to handle it. I open my door and get out without saying anything. I walk around to open hers, but she’s already stepping out before I can reach her. I exhale and place my hand at the small of her back as I catch up with her. She jolts at my touch, like my hand on her back just gave her an electric shock or something. I drop it and start the walk over to the footpath by the edge of the river. She follows keeping the same pace as me.

“So you wanted to talk? What’s with all the awkward silence?” she asks out of the blue breaking the weirdness between us. I chuckle and look across at her as she looks down at the pavement and walks slowly.

“I do want to talk. I just don’t know what you want to talk about,” I say and she looks up at me.

“I guess things between us were left in a pretty bad way. I’ve missed you, and I know you’ve missed me too by all the phone calls over the last six years—”

“Why didn’t you answer?” I interrupt. She immediately looks back down at the pavement.

“What was the point, Caleb? It doesn’t change anything. I don’t want a serious relationship and you do. I can’t trust us together, and I certainly can’t trust you with all the women that will be throwing themselves at you from now on.”

“Indi, I know you don’t want a relationship. I get that. I think it’s silly to think that we would end up like them, but I understand your fears. As for any other women, Indi, you’re the only one in the world that I want. If I were with you, my world would be about you. Nothing, not even six years apart has stopped the way I feel about you,” I tell her honestly and stop walking and turn to face her. She stops and turns to face me, but keeps her eyes down on the ground. “Indi look, I don’t want to scare you. I’ve only just managed to get you back in my life. I would never hurt you intentionally. You mean too much to me.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t be who you want me to be, Caleb. It’s not in me to be involved with someone, or if I do get involved, it’s never a serious thing. What you want from me, I’m incapable of giving it to you—”

“Then how about friendship? Can you give me that?” She finally looks up at me and I see her swallow hard.

“I can try,” she replies and turns to start walking again.

I blink and smile slightly then step off to keep up with her. “When you left, why didn’t you say goodbye?”

She exhales and looks back to the ground. “I don’t want to talk about that, Caleb. That was a terrible time for me.”

I stop walking again taking her hand to halt her. She huffs and turns to look at me as I take both her hands in mine. “I know, Indi. I know how horrible it was. I was there. Talk to me. Tell me what happened and let me make us right again,” I say and she tightens her hands in mine and smiles.

“We’re doing okay as we are. We don’t need to drag up old painful memories. Let’s just enjoy tonight, okay?” She then turns away breaking one set of hands apart, but the other still joins us. She starts to walk and I expect her to let my hand go, but she holds on tighter interlacing our fingers. I smile and walk along with her holding her hand and thinking that maybe, just maybe, I might be able to get that kiss after all.