Dad moves toward Danger with an angry posture and an intense stare. I step in between them and place my hands on Dad’s chest.

“Before you start, Danger didn’t have time to come and find you. He was so caught up in the moment of seeing me and being happy that he blurted it out before he could ask your permission. Don’t be angry, be happy for us,” I say and his tense stature softens a little as he looks at me exhaling.

“Are you happy?” Dad asks and his question throws me. I was expecting yelling or something stupid to come from his mouth, definitely not that.

“Yes,” I say and he takes a step back.

“Are you moving to America?” he asks quietly looking at Danger with a tight jaw.

“No, Danger’s moving to the UK,” I say and Dad nods and slumps his body like he’s relieved.

“You know she’s only nineteen. She’s very young, can you wait a while to get married?” Dad asks and I would actually like that myself. Danger looks at me, and I nod.

“A long engagement is fine, as long as we’re together that’s all I care about,” Danger says.

“Well, good then, just don’t knock her up, okay?”

“Dad, oh my God,” I say as the others laugh.

“Wait till I tell your mother. Both our daughters getting engaged a day apart, this is crazy,” he says throwing his hands up into the air and walking out of the kitchen, leaving me with a more relaxed Danger and an utterly shocked Annie and Aston.

“So you guys are actually getting married then?” Annie asks looking at me raising an eyebrow. I smile and nod wrapping an arm around Danger.

“Yep, sorry to steal your thunder. I know you would’ve liked to have been the engaged ones for a while,” I say and Aston chuckles and Annie rolls her eyes.

“I think Caleb and Indi stole our thunder last night with them being married and pregnant, I don’t think another engagement is going to hurt. The more, the merrier. Just as long as it is what you really want?” Annie asks and I glare at her. I know she’s only trying to help, but she doesn’t need to make me feel worse than I already do.

“Being with Danger is all I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember, now I get to be with him for the rest of my life. I can’t imagine anything better than that,” I say trying to convince not only them but also myself.

“Aww thanks, baby,” Danger says and a little thrill runs through me at him calling me baby. I like that that still happens.

“So Danger, are you prepared for all that married life will bring you?” Aston asks.

“I have no idea what I’m in for, any tips would be appreciated,” he replies.

“I’ll be back in a sec,” I say as I unravel myself from Danger, he smiles and nods then continues talking to Aston. I walk out of the kitchen and into the lounge room hoping Mum won’t still be in there. She isn’t, I’m sure she is off with Dad now discussing my three-sixty turn in men from merely half an hour ago. Speaking of which, I need to call Chad before he hears it from anyone else.

I pace the lounge room and pull out my mobile dialing his number. It rings twice and he answers quickly.

“Is he gone?” he asks without saying hello.

“No, he’s still here. Where are you?” I ask and he huffs.

“At the Oxfordshire pub. How long is he staying?” he asks sounding frustrated.

“Indefinitely...we’re getting married, Chad,” I say quietly and Chad is silent as my heart races so fast it feels like it might burst. “Are you still there?”

“Are you seriously marrying that jerk?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper and I exhale.

“He’s not a jerk, Chad,” I say and he’s quiet again. “Chad?”

“So last night and this morning meant fucking nothing to you then?” he yells.

I tense up knowing this was coming. “No, it was amazing and special and I think it needed to happen, but—”

“But I’ll always be second, right? He’ll always come first, no matter how many times he fucks around and fucks up.”

I sit down on the lounge and exhale. “I’m so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you.”

“You never wanted to hurt me? Ella, you’re fucking killing me! Can’t you see I’m in love with you? I would walk over hot coals for you, I would lay down my life for you. You’re every-fucking-thing to me, Ella. If I asked you to marry me would you pick me over him?” he asks and my chest tightens and my eyes well with tears.

“Chad, you can’t say stuff like that.”

“Why? Because you’re engaged to someone else? Choose me, Ella, please. This time choose me!” he begs and my eyes are welling so fast I can hardly control them.

“I can’t Chad.”

He groans in frustration. “Can’t or won’t, Ella? There’s a difference you know. If you can’t, then that means you're only with him out of obligation or because you feel like you have to. If you won’t, then it’s because you love him and only want to be with him. You chose the word can’t and that says everything I need to know. You’re making the wrong choice, and I won’t stay around watching you be with him,” he says and then hangs up the phone.

I swallow hard and wipe my cheeks quickly from the tears that have fallen. I don’t need Danger seeing me upset. But Chad’s words ring true. Why would I say I can’t instead of I won’t. Maybe I am only doing this out of obligation because I feel awful that Danger has given everything up for me.

Danger walks into the lounge room and sits down, wrapping his arms around me pulling me to him tightly. I cling to him, I’m not sure why he isn’t saying anything, but I’m glad he’s here.

“I’m sorry, Ella. I heard a bit of your private conversation. I guess it was Chad and you told him? I know you two have a history, and I don’t know what it is. But I’m sorry that I’ve forced you to give him up. I just hope you guys can still be friends,” he says pulling back and bringing his hand up to caress my cheek.

“I hope so too, but I don’t think that’s possible now,” I say and he nods and leans in kissing my forehead.

“Well, just know I’m here for you now, always. I’ll be the rock you can turn to for everything. I’m never leaving you, never again Ella,” he says.

I smile and lean in cuddling into him. He does feel good, and even though everything seems strange right now. My gut is unsettled, but my heart feels like it’s in the right space. I’m meant to be with Danger. And he’s given up everything to be with me. That has to count for something…right?

 

***

 

The past year has flown by. With the tension in the band between Chad and I and also Annie’s injuries, the band has taken a break, which is good. Chad isn’t on speaking terms with me, so I haven’t seen very much of him, which hurts like hell. But Danger and I have moved into a small house not far from the manor and Annie and Aston are only five minutes from us too. It’s so weird not being at home anymore with Mum and Dad, but I guess being engaged and moving on with my life I was bound to leave home eventually.

Life with Danger has been exactly what I thought it would. He’s a changed man. He’s been loving and caring. He dotes on me hand and foot. He gave everything up to be with me and our relationship is strong because of it. But I can’t help but feel like the intensity we had on the first tour isn’t quite there anymore. But I guess that was the honeymoon period and they say that always fades. So this is normal, I guess. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy and we’re planning the wedding and everything is running smoothly, so I have nothing to complain about. Hell, Dad’s even getting along with Danger, which is something I never thought I’d see.

Danger is working with Rob, Staked’s agent, at his company and he loves it there. I’m glad he’s still working in the music industry and it’s making him happy so that’s a good thing. Everything is running smoothly.

Except for Chad.

I heard through the grapevine that he’s off the rails, drinking a lot and partying endlessly. I’m anxious about him, but I can’t go and check on him. That wouldn’t be fair to Danger.

But today I have to put it all aside because today for the first time in months I’ll be seeing Chad.

Today is Annie and Aston’s wedding day. I’m so nervous because anytime I see Chad my stomach always twists up in knots and today is no different.

“Ella, are you okay? You look sick. Shouldn’t I be the one looking worried and nervous?” Annie asks as Indi places Annie’s veil in her hair.

Looking back at Annie and the masterpiece she is, I can’t help but smile as I bounce Aria, Indi and Caleb’s four-month-old daughter on my knee.

“Yeah sorry, I’m okay. You look beautiful, Annie,” I say and Aria gurgles.

“Doesn’t she just?” Indi says smiling wide and fussing about with Annie’s veil.

Mum walks in and stops in the doorway staring at Annie and I smile at her reaction.

“Oh Mum, don’t ruin your makeup,” Annie says as Mum’s eye begin to water.

I smile and giggle slightly as Mum walks in with her arms open taking Annie in an embrace.

“Oh my beautiful girl, you’re so grown up and you’re getting married. How did this happen?”

“Oh, Mum, stop,” Annie says as Indi and I giggle.

“Well, you look stunning sweetheart, but Aston is waiting for you. We need to go,” she says and I hold onto Aria in her cute little flower girl dress as I stand in my knee length purple off the shoulder designer dress.

“Okay, let’s get me hitched,” Annie says.

We all laugh as we walk out of her old bedroom and down the stairs. Aria coos and giggles at nothing in particular. This kid is so damn cute.

“Okay guys, I’ll see you out there. Good luck Annie, you look stunning,” Indi says and then leans in kissing Aria. “Be good for Ella, baby girl,” she says and then smiles and walks out of the foyer toward the kitchen. Even though Annie doesn’t live at the manor anymore, her getting married under the willow tree was something she and Aston felt was the right decision. It was always their spot and we all thought it was fitting. And to be honest, it’s nice for us to all be back at the manor again.

Mum fusses over Annie patting down her designer dress making sure all the wrinkles are out and that she looks beautiful. Which she does, of course. The bodice is a tight corset and extends down her waist to the top of her hips. A silver and diamond encrusted sash sits around Annie’s waist giving her dress a touch of elegance and the skirt section is ruched material all gathered up in places giving the skirt a full princess look. The dress is very rock star chic and very Annie. Aston will faint when he sees her. Dad walks in from the kitchen and when he spots Annie his mouth drops open.

“Holy shit,” he says rubbing the back of his neck.

“What?” Annie asks looking down at her dress like something’s wrong.

“No, it’s just…you’re actually doing this. You won’t be my little girl anymore,” he says and blinks back some tears. I smile as I cuddle into Aria.

“I’ll always be your little girl, Dad, just a bit more grown up.”

“You look amazing sweetheart, ready to get your man?” he asks and Annie nods and smiles.

“I’ve been ready for years,” she replies.

We all walk through to the kitchen and out of the back door down onto the grass. I can see in the distance down by the willow tree, the guests congregating and the canopy where they’ll be getting married. It really is beautiful, and there’s a real rock and roll edge to everything, just like Annie. Mum walks down ahead of us to make sure she gets there in time to see Annie walk down the aisle. I give Annie a kiss on the cheek and tell her she looks fantastic and then walk with Aria toward the willow tree. My nerves are wreaking havoc and walking on the grass in heels carrying a four-month-old doesn’t help either.

I swallow hard, plastering on a fake smile and as I reach the guests and start to look around at them. I see Danger and smile a genuine smile. He blows me a kiss and I wink at him. I walk a little further and notice Chad. My heart jumps into my throat as I cling onto Aria a little tighter. He looks terrible, he has a full beard and his eyes are droopy and have black rings around them. His hair’s a mess and his tie isn’t even straight. I swallow hard and look away for fear of crying.

I stare straight ahead and look at Aston, who’s smiling so widely he looks like he could burst. I take my position at the front on the left and turn around to watch Dad and Annie walking up and then turn to look at Aston again. His bottom lip trembles when he sees Annie.

I hope it’s like that when Danger and I get married.

I take a deep breath and look over at Chad. He looks like he’s in a world of his own. He’s not even looking at Annie as she walks down the aisle, I feel so sorry for him. I want to go and comfort him, but I know I’m the reason he’s the way he is right now.

I’m to blame for the way he looks, and I alone have to bear the guilt of that. I look over to Danger and he’s looking at me with his dazzling smile. He really loves me, and he’s been so good since he moved to the UK.

So why do I feel like I might be making the wrong choice?

I shake my head slightly trying to rid those thoughts as Annie reaches Aston and Dad hands her to him. I get lost in my own thoughts and don’t pay much attention. Annie and Aston say their vows and Annie cries. Aston says something funny and everyone laughs making me look up, but I’m still not paying much attention. I watch as they release some white doves to represent them being free when they’re together. It has some significance to their matching tattoos or something and then they kiss for an obscene amount of time. The ceremony is over before I know it, and the whole time was spent thinking about Chad and how wrecked he looks and how it’s breaking my heart. As I walk into the gazebo, I hand Aria back to Caleb and he looks at me raising his eyebrow.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks as I go to walk off.

“Umm…yeah. Just concerned about Chad is all,” I say and he frowns and nods.

“Yeah, he’s not doing too well, but don’t worry I’ve been watching out for him. He’s okay, don’t let yourself feel bad for being happy,” Caleb says looking over at Danger, who’s chatting to Dad and laughing.

I swallow hard and nod. “Just make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid okay?”

“He won’t, don’t worry, Ella. I’m watching him.”

I exhale and nod walking off to find Danger. I need some comfort right now. As I approach, I hear Dad as they talk about a new band that Rob’s company is going to sign, and Danger is helping Rob decide whether they’re good enough.

“Hey, there’s my angel,” Danger says wrapping his protective arm around my shoulders and pulling me to him kissing my head.

“Hey, what’s going on?” I ask and Dad laughs.

“Nothing much, Danger’s trying to convince me that Gargoyle are the next big thing. I mean they have a name like Gargoyle for Christ’s sake, how good can they really be?” Dad asks and I chuckle.

“They can change their name, Colt. Their music is sound. Actually, you need to hear Omar’s voice, it’s hypnotic, and I’m a man imagine what it would do to the ladies,” Danger says and I laugh.

“Seriously, you’re crushing on Omar?” I ask and Danger grins and nods.

“Babe, the guy’s got a voice like a God.” I cuddle into his side and grin, loving that he gets so excited about his work.

“Well, send me a demo and if I like them I’ll talk to Rob for you, seeing as you’re so passionate about it,” Dad says. It’s so weird to think Dad and Danger are friends now especially considering Dad held Danger up by the throat naked in a hotel not that long ago.

The afternoon shifts into the night and the food and drinks are flowing. I’ve had a few champagnes myself, but I haven’t seen Chad again. I think he’s left, which in a weird way is good. It’s let me settle and spend the night cuddled up to Danger and I’m actually having a good time.

I excuse myself from the conversation about babies that Indi and Annie are having, and I make my way toward the bathroom. It’s so nice to be back at the manor and having a party. Well, it’s a wedding reception, but it feels like old times and I love being back here. I walk inside and to the downstairs bathroom. Feeling slightly tipsy, I use the facilities and wash my hands and walk out. When I close the door, I turn to walk down the hall and Chad is standing in the way stopping me from continuing down the hall. He’s just staring at me and it unsettles me slightly. My heart rate spikes and my tummy twists and turns in knots.

“Chad,” I say and he winces at the sound of my voice.

“Soy sauce,” he says and my chest tightens and I feel like I can’t breathe. He hasn’t called me a food name for so long, I almost forgot it was our thing.

Taking a deep breath of air, I look into his dull green eyes as he looks at me with such sadness. He takes a step toward me and I don’t step back as he closes the space between us. My heart is hammering as he continues to inch closer and closer until he’s right in front of me. He smells of stale beer, not like the Chad I know. I swallow hard as he lifts his hand and brings it up caressing my cheek. I close my eyes and relish in his touch for just a moment. I open my eyes and bring my hand up to his and move to pull him away. But when I do he brings his other hand to my hip and forces me back against the door, then pushes his body against mine trapping me there.

“Chad, stop,” I say and he looks into my eyes tilting his head.

“I can’t.” His hand on my cheek tightens and he leans in closer as my breathing escalates to a rushed and fast pace. He has me trapped against the door and he’s looking at me in such a way that it’s making my knees weak and I can’t let that happen.

“Chad, please,” I beg for him to stop, but he moves in closer.

“I love you, Ella,” he says and then crashes his lips to mine.

I open my eyes wide in shock as his hands tighten devouring me. His tongue tries to force my mouth open. I bring my hands up to push on his chest and even though everything in me right now wants to kiss him back, the rock on my finger says I belong to someone else. I push as hard as I can and he stumbles slightly and breaks the kiss. I look at him and shake my head glaring at him.

“Chad, why would you—”

He moves back in and kisses me again mid-sentence and he grinds his body into mine and in his drunk state I’m not sure what he might be capable of. I push hard on his chest again making him step back. Then I bring my hand up and slap him hard across his face. He grips at his cheek and stumbles back looking at me as I wrap my hands around my body for comfort.

“Chad, you need to sober up and move on,” I say and go to walk off.

“I can’t function,” he calls out.

Stopping I turn back to look at him. His body slumps and he’s staring at me like he’s desperately trying to keep me here.

“I miss you so much. I got a tattoo just for you,” he says. He pulls up his shirt showing me his forearm. I swallow hard seeing the ink, so I move closer to view it. It’s a tattoo of a shattered heart with an E in the middle. It completely unravels me. Tears well in my eyes and my breathing hitches. I look up into his eyes and both of our eyes are watering.

“You didn’t fight for me,” I whisper and he shakes his head.

“We needed to fight for each other, Ella. What’s the point in me fighting if you didn’t have the will to fight for me? I was never going to win against Danger, was I?” he asks and I start to cry feeling so dreadful. My hands race up to my face and Chad’s arms wrap around my waist holding me tightly to him.

I feel safe in his arms.

I feel like I might actually have chosen incorrectly.

I can still feel the chemistry with Chad, but Danger has given up so much to be with me that I need to be with him. I feel obligated to be with him. I move my hands and wrap them around Chad and hold onto him for a quiet moment.

“I’m so sorry, Ella, I didn’t want to make you cry,” he says.

“No, it’s okay. I feel so bad, I’ve ruined us,” I say and he sniffs like he’s upset too.

“I will always love you…always,” he says and leans down softly placing a tender kiss to my lips, and I let him.

“Sugar?” Danger calls out from a distance. Chad and I break apart, dramatically severing our moment and I turn around wiping my eyes to see Danger turn the corner and smile brightly when he sees me. “There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you. You okay?” he asks walking up to me as I wipe my face trying to rid the tears. I turn quickly to see Chad has disappeared. I guess he went into the bathroom. I exhale and try to calm my nerves as Danger approaches.

“I’m okay, not feeling the best,” I say and he walks up to me putting his hand on my forehead.

“Oh, you are a little hot. Want me to take us to bed?” he asks and I smile and nod.

“Yeah, that would be great.”

He smiles and leans in kissing me. I feel bad, because not only ten seconds ago Chad’s lips were on mine. If only Danger knew.