Arriving home, I opened the door and couldn’t hear anything. Normally Indi would have some sort of music playing, but there was nothing. I walked down to her room and knocked on her door softly. There was no answer, so I opened the door and looked inside. Her bed was made and all her perfumes and makeup accessories were not on her dresser. A cold chill rushed over me as the hairs on my neck stood up. I raced inside and looked around her room.

It was clean.

Too clean.

On closer examination, it was actually empty. I ran to her wardrobe and opened it to see nothing but coat hangers dangling from the rail. Her clothes were gone. My heart started to pound ferociously and I was beginning to think the worst.

Indi had gone.

She was nowhere, nothing was left in her room.

I raced all around the house and I couldn’t see anything of hers anywhere. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and dialed her number. It rang out and I couldn’t hear it, so that confirmed that she wasn’t inside the house. I was starting to panic. Where the fuck was she? All her stuff was gone, and even though we had our final exam at school today, I would still see her at graduation, surely. She couldn’t avoid me forever? Dad came home and watched me searching the house frantically, it stopped me in my tracks, he reached across and held onto my shoulders.

“Caleb, talk to me. What’s wrong?” he asked as my eyes started to well with tears.

“She’s gone,” I whispered.

Dad looked around the room. “Who?”

“Indi. She’s packed all her stuff and vanished, and she won’t answer my calls,” I said sounding panicked.

“Okay, let me try,” Dad said and pulled out his phone dialing Indi’s number. There was no answer.

“What would make her want to leave?”

“It was me. It is all my stupid fault!” I said and broke free from his hold and tried to call her again.

“Caleb! Just relax, and talk to me. What happened?” he asked taking my phone from me and putting it on the kitchen table.

I exhaled and ran my hand through my shoulder length hair. “Okay, but don’t be mad.”

“Okay?” he said hesitantly.

“We slept together last night and afterward I told her that I loved her and wanted to be with her. Then she freaked out and said that she doesn’t want a relationship because she’d seen what addiction and loving someone could do to you. She thinks I’m going to be famous and overdose and then she’ll kill herself. Her thinking is so screwed up, Dad.”

“Yeah, I can understand why she’d think that way. We need to find her, Caleb. She’s probably in self-destruct mode right now,” Dad said. He grabbed his keys and we started walking toward the front door when my phone beeped informing me I had a message.

 

I’m fine Caleb, but I’m moving away. I have a house that I’m going to rent up north and it’s better if you move on without me. We don’t belong together, and this could never work. Thank your parents for me. They have been amazing, but this is goodbye. Indi xo

 

I read the text out loud and Dad shook his head. “Did you know she’d found a place to rent?”

“No. I knew she was looking, but I never knew she’d actually found somewhere,” I said, but my voice was completely deflated. Indi was gone, and I had no way of knowing where. Sure, I could pay someone to track her phone, but if I knew Indi like I thought I did, then that act of privacy invasion would make her hate me even more. For now, I had to let her go, and then at our graduation ceremony I would see her again and perhaps try to make this right.

“Are you okay?” Dad asked and I shook my head.

“Not really, the girl I love has just moved to get away from me. I feel like crap, Dad,” I said and he frowned and pulled me to him for a hug.

“It’s okay, mate. I’m sure that won’t be the last we see of Indi. Plus, she’s still a minor so I’ll have to find out where she is and make sure she’s doing all right. I’ll keep you posted, okay?” he asked and I nodded as I felt the hot sting of tears pooling in my eyes.

“Just make sure she’s okay. If she doesn’t want to see me that’s fine, I just want her to be happy and safe, Dad.”

“I promise, mate. I’ll do everything in my power to help her,” he said and held me back looking right at me.

“I know what it’s like to lose the woman you love. It burns hot through your spirit and can make you do some horrible things. It can make you lash out and be…well, basically an arsehole. Trust me, I went through it too when I lost your mother. Please don’t follow in my footsteps and make everything you do about getting over the pain of Indi. If you’re meant to be, it will happen. It took seven long years before your mother showed up in my life again, just like I always knew she would. You have to be patient with these things, Caleb. Indi is broken and it just might take her some time to come to terms with the fact that her parents are dead. She probably feels like she’s all alone in this world. Wait it out, and don’t act out, I guess is all I’m saying.”

I nodded not really taking any of his advice in. My head was spinning. Indi was moving away. She had found a house, one that we were going to move in together and now she was going to be doing it on her own and I had no idea where she was.

It hurt.

Bad.

But I decided that Dad was right. Waiting was the best thing to do. If you love something let it come to you, that’s sort of like how the saying goes, right? I had to bide my time and Indi would come back to me.

I hoped!

 

***

 

It’s been six years since Indi left me. I haven’t heard from or seen her, since the text she sent saying goodbye. She didn’t even show up for our graduation. They called her name and then there was nothing. I tried to find her, but nothing I did would give me a definite lead. Eventually, I gave up. She didn’t want to be found and I couldn’t be bothered playing games anymore. I’m twenty-three now and I’m doing fine.

It didn’t take me long to completely ignore Dad’s pep talk and a few months after pining over Indi, I decided it was time to make myself happy again. I found a girl at a pub and I went home and shagged her…and her roommate. That was the start of ‘Let’s pretend you’re not still madly in love with Indi and, therefore, fuck as many women as possible’ stage.

I spent so long imagining the women I was fucking were her, but then I realised how pointless that was because no one would compare to Indi. So why even bother to imagine it was her? I needed to live in the now and that meant letting her go. She let me go, so I had to do the same. I eventually moved out of Mum and Dad’s house and bought my own little condo which was situated near them. I live on my own, so that gives me plenty of time to do whatever I want to do. I spend a lot of time with my cousins, and Aston and Chad. We’ve been working on the band and I find it helps when I get in a mood regarding Indi.

It’s been six long hard fucking years without hearing one word from her. Hell, I don’t even know if she’s still alive. All I know is that Dad found her and made sure she was all right after she left and then nothing. He won’t talk about her with me. I know he knows where she is, but even through my endless times of begging trying to find out he won’t tell me. He said he had promised her he wouldn’t say anything. I’m his son though, you’d think he would be able to give me a fucking hint. But I guess Dad is one for keeping his word.

Tonight it’s my cousin Annie’s seventeenth birthday party. It’s being held at some swanky hotel in London and I’m sure that Annie will hate it. But knowing my Uncle Colt, he will have gone to every expense to make this party epic for her. I was talking to Aston a little earlier and I know he and Annie are very close. I’m pretty sure he might make a move on her tonight. It’s so weird talking to Aston about his infatuation with my cousin. She’s like a little sister to me, so hearing that Aston is fantasizing about her makes me cringe. But at the same time Aston is a great kid and, to be honest, if there was one guy I would’ve picked for Annie it would definitely have been him. I just hope he doesn’t stuff it up because if he does the band could suffer. And I’ve worked too damn hard at this band for them to fuck it up with their ‘do-we or don’t-we’ dance that they do. They’ve grown up with each other and I’ve watched them become best friends and then for it to morph into something more. They’re destined to be together. But I guess growing up with each other doesn’t always mean you’re destined for each other, right? I mean look at me and Indi, we grew up together and look where we are. Strangers, who sometimes think of the life we had before it all went to shit. Well, I know I think about it. I wonder if Indi ever thinks about me?

Stop it, Caleb!

Thinking about her won’t get me anywhere today.

God, I miss her!

“Oh, for fuck’s sake man, get a hold of yourself!” I say out loud as I look at myself in the mirror. My shoulder length floppy brown hair is looking extra rock starish tonight and as I pull my leather jacket over my shoulders. My phone drops out of the pocket and onto the floor. I groan out loud and bend down to retrieve it then swipe the screen to turn it on.

“Don’t do it!” I warn myself as my fingers work on their own like I can’t control them. Before I know it, I’ve searched for Indi’s mobile number and am about to press dial. “Urgh, seriously Caleb she hasn’t picked up for the last six fucking years, why the fuck would she pick up now?” I practically yell at myself as I continue to watch the phone. The picture of my blonde beauty back when she was seventeen stares back at me from the screen. I’m so annoyed with myself that I let it come to this again. Me talking myself out of calling her when I know she won’t answer anyway.

“This is the last time, Caleb, the last time you can call her. If she doesn’t answer then you’re deleting her number, got it?” I say to myself.

I’m sure if there were anyone else around they would think I was madder than a March hare. I slide my finger over the call button and press. Inhaling sharply, I bring the phone to my ear and listen to it ringing continuously. My heart races just like it does every time I make this phone call. Hell, I don’t know if this is still even her number, but I really need to stop doing this to myself. I need to let her go once and for all. I just wish I was given the chance to say goodbye. You know, a real goodbye. We went through so much together and she threw it all away because I wanted a relationship with her. Well fuck her, I say. If she can walk out on us, then I can too. I bring the phone down and swipe to end the call. I take a deep breath and bring her contact number back up and my finger hovers over the delete button. In my heart, I feel like doing this will help me heal because it’ll give me closure or some bullshit people spin about letting go. But to me it just feels like I’m giving up, and I honestly never want Indi to think I’ve given up on her. So I close the contact without deleting it and place the phone back into my pocket.

“Right, let’s go and get yourself laid tonight,” I say to my reflection in the mirror and the face looking back at me looks happy. He’s smiling and I think the bravado he shows will fool everyone. But when I look into his eyes I can see the pain, a pain I need to take away tonight with a woman, maybe two if I’m lucky. I have my charm on and I’m looking hot, my black shirt is gripping tightly to my muscular arms and gives just a hint of the six pack that hides underneath. The leather jacket gives me the rocker bad boy edge that I crave and my trusty old jeans set off this look perfectly. I look like a rock star, and one day soon I’m going to be one. We just need a decent break, and I know Colt or Dad will do their best to make my band Staked as big as we can be.

I know Colt is in talks with Rob Luxley, his agent, about Staked, and I know in time Colt will wear him down and he will come to see us perform. The other members of the band don’t know. They’re too young and their excitement could cause issues. It’s hard being so much older than them. Seven years is quite a big age difference when you think about it. It’s no wonder sometimes we clash. Especially Annie and me. I love her to death, but that girl has got a temper and she takes it out on everyone. I like to put her in her place and she hates it. But as much as we argue, she also looks at me like a big brother. She comes to me for advice and guidance and I love that she’s willing to take my advice on board. She really is a good kid, just lets her temper get in the way sometimes.

I pick up my gift for Annie and walk out of my condo and down onto the street to my car. It’s a black Lexus LFA and she’s my pride and joy. I love this car and bought her with my own money that I’d saved up from tutoring. Plus, I mixed it with the money I’d saved toward getting a place with Indi. That fell through obviously, so I just put in every cent I had to purchase the perfect rock star car. And my baby is perfect for me in every way.

I click the central locking button and slide into the driver’s side. I slam the door shut letting out some of my pent up anger. Indi didn’t answer again, and again I didn’t delete her number. I’m such a useless twat! I start the car and the roar of the engine instantly gives me a little surge of happiness. The buzz I feel when I hear my car’s engine always takes my pain away for that brief moment. I look in the rear vision mirror and check my hair again. I think it’s my best asset, so I need it to look perfect. On checking it looks fine, so I pull out onto the street and drive to the swanky hotel.

It’s not far from where I live, and that’s always a bonus. I pull up in the car park out the back near the beer garden. I walk toward the back entry because I’m a rebel and also because I can’t be fucked walking around the front. I proceed to the entrance where there’s a bouncer located at the door and he looks me up and down.

“Name?” he requests with a stern voice.

I smirk at his seriousness and shake my head slightly at the tight control Colt has around the venue. As I drove past I saw three security details out the front.

“Name or get lost,” he states again loudly.

“Caleb McCormack-Slade.”

He moves his eyes over his checklist and nods. “Right, through ya go,” he says and ushers me in.

I smirk and shake my head at the formalities. Colt is so over-protective of his girls, Annie and Ella, and to be honest it’s parties like this that remind me why I’m okay with Hux being my Dad and not Colt.

I walk into the buzzing party. I’m a few minutes late, but there’s already a shit load of people here. Celebrities and a fair few kids too that I wasn’t expecting. Oh, wait, the kids are all from the same family. That famous couple who adopted like seven kids, that’s them over there talking to Johnny and Anna, Aston’s parents.

God, they look like awful people. Mental note avoid them at all costs!

I move inside and across to a table where there’s a mountain of presents and I place my bag on the table and turn around scoping the room. Celebrities used to have me awestruck, but growing up with them around me for the last sixteen years, well let’s just say, the novelty has worn off. Now they’re just people with too much money and an ego you can’t bring back down to earth no matter how much you try. I hope when Staked gets big that I don’t turn out to be an arsehole like most of these people.

I don’t need to pick up tonight. I have seven different girls on my speed dial that I can fuck at the drop of a hat, and some of them at the same time. But I want something different tonight, something I haven’t tried before. I use sex as an outlet, to get all that pent up frustration out, and tonight it looks like it might be that brunette sitting at the bar who’s making doe eyes at me. She’s hot and I’m pretty sure I know who she is. I’m pretty sure her name is Angelica Braithwaite and she’s an heiress to the Braithwaite Marina and Boating franchise. They build Marinas for waterfront homes and have made billions of dollars doing just that. But Angelica has made a name for herself for other reasons. She’s always been an animal rights activist and she founded a new makeup brand. It was extremely popular until it was found her business was testing its products on animals and basically factory housing them. They were locked up in cages while her company did experiments on them. There was outrage in all media circles at the time and I remember her denying that she knew her company was animal testing. She was sued for millions and I think people in her company were actually charged with animal cruelty. It was a huge fucking thing at the time. I don’t give too much of a shit about it, other than the fact that I detest that she was hurting animals. In fact, I donate to many animal shelters and charities. So to be honest, if I had any morals Angelica is a woman I should stay away from, but tonight she’s making puppy dog eyes at me and I am reeling her in hook, line, and sinker. Tonight I’ll show Angelica Braithwaite the time of her life. Rock star style! Hard, fast, and full of lust. I’ll make her squirm and pant my name and then I’ll ram my cock so far up her arse I’ll make her scream out in ecstasy. This is going to be a good night!