Mum wakes Dad and we all walk into the kitchen to sit down and talk about the freak show that just happened outside our home.

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I slept through all of that. Are you both okay?” Dad asks as he wraps his arm around my shoulder pulling me close to him.

“I’m okay now, it was just a bit of a shock. She was so… so... ” I can’t think of what word I’m trying to find.

“Disappointing, I think is what you’re looking for sweetheart,” Mum says and I nod because she’s exactly right. Seeing that I might have come from someone like Loretta did just make my skin crawl. I mean, I’m not a nasty person and I know there are different classes of people. I don’t hold anything against trashy people, but knowing that I might have that in me is scary, but then again it does explain some things.

“Yeah, she was nothing like I expected,” I say and Dad continues to hold me tight.

“I’m just sorry I wasn’t here for you, Annie,” Dad says and I look up at him and smile.

“You’re here now, that’s all that matters.”

“So Annie, what would you like me to do from here?” Mum asks and I shrug as I have no idea. I never thought this day would happen, so I have no idea what to think.

“I’m not sure. I mean, if she is my real Mum—”

“Biological mother sweetheart, I’m your real Mum,” she interrupts in a quiet voice and I smile at her. I know she doesn’t like this one little bit.

“Sorry, yeah my birth mother. If she really is, then I want to get to know her. I have so many questions, like who’s my Dad? Why didn’t he come with her to find me? How did she find me? Why did she give me up? You know, I have so many questions.”

Mum nods and Dad exhales.

“Annie if you want to ask them, then you have every right to. But you shouldn’t bombard her with them. Plus, the answers may not be the ones that you’re seeking honey. You have to be prepared for that,” Dad says and I nod and rub my face with my hands trying to figure out what the hell to do.

“So what do I do now? She didn’t leave a number or anything?” I say and Mum scoffs.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be in touch again. We just have to wait for her first move. You have to remember Annie that you’re famous, and people like to take advantage of that. It’s public knowledge that you’re adopted, so she could just be some money-hungry old woman trying to steal your fortune. Just be on guard,” Mum says and I nod as I didn’t think of that. I guess because I have so many unanswered questions about my birth parents, when you have a possible parent dangled in front of you, you want to believe it’s true so you can get all the answers you’ve been craving.

“Yeah, didn’t think of that. I’ve just spent my whole life wondering about who they are and now one of them is right in front of me well, I guess, I just want it to be true that’s all.”

I can see Mum’s struggling with this, so I stand up and walk over to her. She looks up at me with glistening eyes and I lean down embracing her tightly.

“I love you, Mum, and you will always be my mother no matter what,” I say and she bursts into tears. Dad rubs her back as I hug her and she nuzzles into my neck.

“I just love you so much, Annie. I couldn’t stand to lose you,” she says and I pull back and look at her.

“Mum, you’re not going to lose me. She might have given birth to me, but she is not my Mum. She’s not the one who changed my nappies and stayed up all night with me when I was a baby. She’s not the one who took care of me every time I was sick and every time I was upset. You did that, that’s what mother’s do, and you have been here for me for my entire life. Without you, I would have failed at this life a long time ago, but you support and guide and love me without question every day, and that makes you my Mum, not her. You will always be my mother… always,” I say and she bursts out crying harder than before, which only makes me cry too. “I love you, Mum,” I whisper and she clings to me for dear life.

“I love you too, Annie, so much,” she says and I sit down in the seat next to her as Dad watches us with his eyes glistening too. He leans over and takes Mum’s hand and she looks at him while he smiles at her sympathetically.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, you shouldn’t have to see me like this,” she says wiping her tears away with her free hand.

“No, it’s okay, I get it,” I say and squeeze her shoulder.

“Annie why don’t you go and call Aston and see if he can come over, tell him he can stay the night in your room with you if you like. I think you need some comfort and support right now and as much as I hate it, he is the one to do that,” Dad says. “Go on, before I change my mind.”

I smile and squeeze Mum’s shoulder again, she half-smiles at me. I lean down kissing her cheek and then turn to walk out of the kitchen. I stop by the wall to listen in to their conversation.

“Oh my God Colt, Loretta was a mess. She can’t be related to Annie, she can’t. There was nothing nice about her. Annie deserves better than that,” Mum says and I wince.

“Baby, I know this is hard for you. I know how much you hate and have been dreading this day since we adopted Annie. But Lia, if this is her birth mother she needs to know her, and if it turns bad then we will be there as Annie’s parents to support her.”

“But what if she likes her birth mum better than me? What if she turns to her for advice and for comfort? What if I’m no good to her anymore? I couldn’t stand it, Colt. I love her too damned much.”

I hear the chairs scraping on the floor like they’re moving as tears fall down my cheeks again. I wish Mum didn’t feel like that. I will always turn to her no matter what happens with Loretta Banks. Mum is my only real mother and I just wish I could show her that.

“Lia come here,” Dad says and then her cries are muffled and I assume he’s hugging her and she is crying into his chest. “That’s not going to happen. The bond you have with our girls is too strong. Annie loves you, Lia, you know that. Trust her, she has made some bad decisions, but underneath it all she’s a wonderful woman and she knows what’s right and wrong. This will all be okay, I promise.”

I can’t take any more of hearing Mum sobbing, so I walk up the stairs and toward my room. I walk past Ella’s door and creek it open looking in. She’s fast asleep and I don’t want to burden her with this. I have no idea how she will react to it. She can sleep blissfully unaware for a little longer. I shut her door and walk into my room and pick up my mobile and dial Aston. It rings twice and then he answers with a yawn.

“Hey baby,” he says through his yawn and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Hey,” I say sounding more deflated than I mean to.

“You okay? You seem flat? Sad?” he asks and I can’t hold back the tears. “Lennox, are you crying?” he asks and I sniff and nod my head even though he can’t see.

“I need you,” I whisper and he sounds like he’s up and rushing around.

“What’s going on, baby? I’m getting dressed now and I’ll be at your house in five minutes. Tell me what’s wrong.” I half-smile knowing he would drop everything for me.

“My mum showed up on the front doorstep of our house,” I whisper and he chuckles.

“What do you mean, she lives there, of course she would?”

I exhale and then inhale sharply. “Aston, my birth mum,” I say and I hear him stop moving and the line goes silent. I sit here studying myself in the mirror and my eyes definitely look the same as hers. I start to cry again and it seems to snap Aston back into reality.

“Okay, so is she there now?”

“No, she left,” I say and he sounds like he’s moving again.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know what I am, Ast,” I say honestly and he sounds like he’s running because his breathing has increased.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m getting in the car right now and I’ll be there soon, okay?” I sniff and nod my head. “Annie,” he says and I hear the car ignition start.

“Yeah,” I answer wiping more tears from my cheeks.

“I’m here for you, okay?”

“I just need you right now, Ast. I need you,” I say and the emotion floods me again and I start to really sob.

“Okay, hold on baby, I’m on my way. I’m driving out of the driveway right now. Want me to sing to you?”

“Sure,” I say and then he starts to sing the first verse of ‘I Knew You Were Always Mine’ which makes me feel better instantly.

He stayed on the phone with me the entire way here, which only took three minutes instead of the usual five. He must have been speeding. Mum or Dad must have let him in because I stayed sitting on my bed crying until I heard him racing up the stairs.

I look up and he bursts through the door and races across to me taking me in his arms.

“Are you okay? Tell me what you need,” he says and I hold onto him so tightly while the hairs on my arms stand to attention and a tingle shoots down my spine. I cherish the feelings I get when he’s near me, and I feel so much better now that he’s here. I snuggle into his chest as he sits us down on the bed.

“We’ll be in the lounge room if you need us,” Dad says quietly.

I look up not even realising Dad was standing at my door. “Thanks Dad.”

He reaches in closing the door and I hear him hesitate, but eventually I hear his feet walking away and down the stairs.

“Thank you for coming, and sorry for waking you up.”

“Lennox, you know when you need me I will always be here for you. Always,” he reiterates and I snuggle back into him and run my hand up his back and then my fingers through his hair. I feel something weird on his shirt, so I sit back and look. I giggle and he furrows his brows at me and I look down at his shirt.

“What?” he asks and I point to his top.

“You’re shirt’s on inside out, I felt the tag at the back.”

He laughs. “I was in a hurry to get to you,” he says and pulls me back to him and then lays us down on the soft mattress. “So do you want to talk about it?”

“She was a mess, Ast. Like really disgusting. She had the worst bird’s nest hairdo, rotting teeth, and she was wrinkled from too much… something. Maybe alcohol or drugs I don’t know. And to top it off she was wearing leopard print, you know how much I hate leopard print,” I say, my mind instantly going to Amber.

He tightens his grip on me and kisses my head. “Do you know for sure she’s really your mother?”

“No, but we have the same eyes. Hers are definitely duller and older, but they’re the same green and the same doe-eyed shape as mine, Aston. I saw me in her and it was as scary as shit.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Have a maternity DNA test to see if she really is my mother I guess. From what I can gather she’s going to organise it and we’ll go from there.”

“Wow, I can’t even begin to imagine how you’re feeling right now.”

“I don’t even know how I’m feeling right now. I’m scared. I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’m excited. I’m nervous. I’m frustrated. How is it possible to feel all those emotions at once?”

“It is baby, trust me. What did your mum say?” he asks and I tear up again thinking about how much this has upset her.

“She wasn’t happy. She was with me when Loretta – that’s her name – when she came over. Mum handled it well I think, but not so sure she’s doing okay now though.”

“Well just know that I’m here for you and whatever you need, baby. I am here for you, okay?”

“Thank you, I don’t know how I would cope without you.”

“Just like I wouldn’t cope without you, Lennox,” he says then leans in to kiss me softly.

 

***

 

Aston and I stayed in my room for the rest of the night. I wasn’t hungry, but Mum brought us up a box of pizza and Aston mainly ate it himself. He tried to get me to eat, but I just couldn’t stomach anything. The next day Dad took us all to see a lawyer to explore our options. He explained without a maternity DNA test we couldn’t prove anything, and that was the best course of action for us to undertake at this time. He was very adamant that I take my time getting to know Loretta Banks, and that I don’t get my hopes up because she’s more than likely someone trying to extort money by playing with my emotions.

But when we got home there was a letter from Loretta waiting addressed to me. It stated that an appointment had been set up at the Oxfordshire Hospital tomorrow at 10:30 a.m. for the maternity DNA test. And that’s where we are driving to now.

The car is packed with Mum and Dad in the front and me, Ella, and Aston in the back. Ella has been so quiet since she found out yesterday what was going on. With all of this is happening so fast, I don’t have time to sit and make a plan of how I want to go about it. If she is my real mum, do I actually want anything to do with her? She abandoned me, so why shouldn’t I do the same to her? All these thoughts are running through my head and Aston squeezes my hand tightly. I look up at him and he mouths ‘you okay?’ and I nod and smile leaning in and kissing him quickly. We pull up at the hospital and all slide out of the car.

“Good luck,” Ella says to me quietly and then walks over to stand with Dad.

I think she is avoiding me.

“C’mon Annie, let’s get this over with,” Mum says. She wraps her arm around my shoulders as I grab Aston’s hand and we walk as a trio toward the entrance of the hospital. We proceed down the hallway toward where we need to go and with each step my nerves grow stronger and stronger. My heart thuds and I can hear it in my ears it’s so loud. I feel the blood coursing through my veins rapidly and it’s making me hot. Very hot! I start to sweat, and I even think I might be shaking slightly.

We turn the corner and then I see her. She’s dressed in tight pants that are way too tight, making her muffin top hang out over her waistband and a tight vest showing off all the layers of extra fat around her stomach. I cringe when I see her.

At least she isn’t wearing leopard print!

She spots me and smiles and before I have a chance to do anything she barges toward me.

“Annie,” she says in her loud, gravelly voice and I tense up. Mum steps in front of me before Loretta has a chance to take me in her arms, and I grip so tightly onto Aston’s hand it must be hurting him.

“I think we need to talk a bit more before you get physical and touchy feely with my daughter, don’t you?” Mum says and Dad winces as does Loretta.

“Okay, I get it. You think I’ve come here to take your daughter away from you, but I’m not, Lia. I just want to know my daughter,” she says and I half-smile feeling a little less light-headed.

“She wants to know you too Loretta, but let me make this one thing crystal clear. If this test comes back and you are not related to my daughter, then you do not come near us again. Annie doesn’t need people tormenting her about her past,” Mum says getting defensive and Loretta puts her hands up in surrender.

“Okay, but I can tell just by looking at her that she’s mine, and you can too, Lia. That’s why you’re so scared,” she says and Mum tenses and shakes her head.

“Right ladies, this is an anxious time for all of us. Let’s just calm down and agree that all we want is what’s best for Annie,” Dad says and for once he’s the reasonable one in this conversation.

“That’s all I have ever wanted, what was best for her,” Loretta says and I tense up as she looks at me and smiles showing her rotted teeth.

“Well, we have too,” Mum says folding her arms over her chest.

“I know. I have watched her grow up from a tiny little thing to become the superstar she is now. I’m so proud of you, honey,” she says and I tense up wondering how she knows.

“Well, if you’ve known I was yours all along then why did you only come to see me now?” I ask and everyone looks at her. “Like why didn’t you come sooner?”

She frowns and shakes her head. “I wasn’t in a good place, Annie. Let’s just leave it at that, hey?” she replies and it infuriates me.

“I’ve been waiting all my entire life to know what happened. You could have come along sooner and told me everything, but you chose not to until now?”

“Annie, I was a drug addict. I wasn’t sober and seeing you going down the same path as me, and as Colt, it nearly killed me. So when I heard you were better and doing well, I said to myself… Loretta, you need to pick yourself up and start looking after yourself. If your daughter can do it, so can you. And so I stopped using and hunted you down. I waited until you finished your world tour and when I knew you were home I came to see you. I never wanted to give you up, Annie, but I had to. You deserved better than I could provide for you, and I’m so glad you ended up with your parents because they have taught you music and how to be an amazing woman. I could never have done that for you.”

“Where’s my birth dad?” I ask and she exhales.

“I don’t know.”

“Who is he?”

“I don’t know,” she whispers and Mum scoffs and half-chuckles.

“Of course, you don’t,” Mum says and I furrow my brows.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” I ask and she doesn’t say anything.

“It means there are too many men to choose from that could’ve been your father, Annie,” Mum says harshly and I look at Loretta and her fallen face confirms Mum’s accusation.

“So I’m never going to know who my biological father is?” I ask and Loretta shakes her head.

I nod and hold onto Aston tighter.

“Okay I think that’s enough information overload for today,” Dad says taking Mum and walking her over to the seats. Loretta looks at me and I can tell she wants to talk to me, but I’ve heard enough for today too. I grab Aston’s hand tighter and we walk across to sit with Mum and Dad. Ella stands leaning her back against the wall while we wait. Loretta paces the hall and her perfume is abusing my senses. To be honest, I’m not sure what to think about her. She seems nice, but she is a self-confessed junkie.

I wonder if she took drugs while she was pregnant with me?

I can’t even think like that right now.

“Loretta Banks?” a nurse says and Loretta looks at me and smiles then follows the nurse in for her test. We all stay out here. Ella’s still leaning against the wall. Dad’s talking to Mum trying to calm her down and me and Aston just sit quietly.

“How are you doing? That was a lot to take in,” he whispers and I look at him and nod.

“Yeah, it was, but at least I’m getting answers. I have so much more I want to ask her, but it will have to wait. I’m not getting my hopes up that she is actually my mother. I don’t want to get my heart broken if she isn’t. But then again, I’m not even sure I want her as my mum? Oh, Ast, this is so confusing,” I say leaning forward digging my elbows into my knees and placing my head in my hands.

He rubs my back for comfort. “I know baby, but like I said I’m here for you every step of the way, always,” he says leaning down and kissing the back of my head. He pulls me to him and I cuddle into him as we sit and wait for what seems like forever. I look over at Ella and it looks like she’s barely holding it together.

“I’ll be back,” I whisper to Aston as I stand up and walk over to Ella.

“Hey, you’re really quiet. Are you okay?” I ask and she looks at me and it looks like she’s going to cry.

“Your mum came back for you, mine didn’t,” she says and my heart sinks for her. I’m rendered speechless, but as I go to hug her the nurse calls out my name.

“Annie Slade.”

I look at Ella and she closes her eyes tightly like she’s forcing the tears back and then shakes her head pushing away the emotion.

Mum comes across to me and grabs my hand. Me and my family, including Aston, all walk in so I can be tested.