It didn’t take us long to settle in, and Oscar came home soon after with some wine and dessert for us. He was ecstatic to see Brax. It was nice to see a father become so emotional at seeing his son.

Now we’re sitting at the dining table eating dinner. The conversation is flowing, laughter fills the air and everything is jovial. Except for the corner of the table next to me where Mason sits to my left, and Evie is sitting at the head of the table next to him. I don’t think anyone else has noticed, but because I’m right next to the pair, I have a front row seat to their flirt fest. They’re not talking much, but when they do, they both chuckle like school kids and every time they reach for the food it seems to be at the same time. Their hands meet and it’s like their fingers are icicles or something because when they touch they both flinch away. That’s happened three times so far that I’ve seen and the sly glances and shallow breathing from both of them is making for some hilarious dinner time entertainment. I’m just glad Brax is talking to his dad at the other end of the table and isn’t watching his sister lose her shit over Mason. Last time that happened, Brax lost his cool with Mase and told him to lose Evie’s number.

I wonder if Mase has talked to her about why he hadn’t called her?

Evie and Mase both reach out to grab the salt shaker and their hands collide once more making them recoil away from each other for the fourth time. I giggle as he apologises to her and the salt shaker falls over on the table with a thud making the others look around to see them apologising profusely to each other.

“Everything okay down there?” Brax asks.

“Yeah, he moved when I did, and…”

“I grabbed at the same time, and…”

They both start talking in quick succession and then stop at the same time making it obvious that something’s going on. The room falls into silence and I look at Brax, who’s now furrowing his eyebrows as Evie swallows hard.

“Mase, can you help me get some more mashed potatoes and beans?” I ask breaking the awkward tension filling the room.

“Yep.” The chair legs scrape along the granite floor loudly with the rushed pace of Mason standing up to escape.

Chuckling, I stand up slowly grabbing the mash bowl as he grabs the beans bowl and we head out of the dining room toward the kitchen. Chatter from the other room starts to filter through the air and I grin knowing that the talk of Evie and Mason won’t be an issue now. We walk into the kitchen and I place the bowl on the bench next to the mash and turn to face a pale looking Mason as he follows me in.

“So, you and Evie, huh?” My grin can’t be wiped off my face even if I wanted it to.

He huffs and places the bowl on the bench turning and leaning his back against it and slumping over. “What the fuck am I doing?”

I laugh and pat his shoulder. “Trying to flirt by the looks of it. Not sure treating her hand like it’s the iceberg that sunk the Titanic is such a good way to go about it, though,” I tease.

“What? What do you mean by that?” He furrows his brows and faces me.

“Mase if you want to touch her, then touch her, don’t pull away because you’re scared she doesn’t want you touching her hand. She likes you.”

He smiles wide and huffs. “You think so?” I chuckle and nod as he smiles at me. “She’s pretty hot. But she’s Brax’s sister and he’s already warned me off once. He’ll kill me.”

I wrap my arm around Mase’s shoulder and pull him to me. “He’s one arm down, so you stand a fighting chance.” Mason laughs loudly making everyone in the dining room turn to look at us.

I giggle and turn spooning some more mash into the dish and shaking my head. “Don’t tell Brax I said that.”

“My lips are sealed. Thanks, Amber.” He grabs the other bowl without putting any more beans in it and we walk back into the dining room and sit down.

I grab Brax’s hand under the table and watch as Mase smiles at Evie and she smiles back. I think it’s great to finally see him taking an interest in someone other than me. If he can move on and get over his crush, he has on me then I’m all for it.

Dinner continues with more natural flirting and I watch as they walk outside together and stand on the balcony overlooking the field. They’re standing close together and talking, and I see Evie laughing quite often as Hunter talks to Oscar about business stuff and Sandra cleans the kitchen. I’m lost watching Mase and Evie when Brax cuddles into me. Looking up at him, I smile as he looks out the back door to see his sister with Mason. He groans and shakes his head. My giggle filters through the expansive room and I figure I should try and make him see the good in this situation.

“What do you think is worse? Mason being in love with me for the rest of his life, or Mason liking your sister?” I ask and Brax’s eyes shoot wide open and he shakes his head.

“Both, they’re both bad scenarios,” he admits and I smile and he groans. “He still likes Evie?” he asks and I nod. “Shit!” he murmurs.

Smirking, I cuddle into Brax as he kisses my head. “Time for bed? I can’t watch that happening out there.”

Standing up from the chair, I look at Hunter. “Hunt, we’re heading to bed. Oscar, thanks for having us. Say thank you to Sandra for us as well and we’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night, sweetheart. Night, Son,” Oscar says.

“Night, little lamb. Night Brax,” Hunter replies.

“Night guys,” Brax says and wraps his good arm around me and we traipse off toward Brax’s old bedroom. Charli was put to bed a few hours ago, and we had a long road trip today so I’m pretty tired. Walking down the hall, my legs feel like lead weights. I wish Brax could carry me I’m that drained of energy. He opens the door, and as I walk in I look around seeing pictures of Brax in his camo gear surrounded by other men wearing the same.

It makes me wonder why he doesn’t see his friends from the Army.

“Why don’t you see your mates from the Army? Baxter…was that his name? You guys went through something horrific together, I thought that would make you really close?” I ask as he closes his door behind us and we begin to take off our clothes to change.

“It’s too hard to see them. They just bring all the memories flooding back. They’re kind of like my version of your Christmas. The memories are too painful.”

I nod and bite my bottom lip. “Well, you’re amazing for bringing me here and, for the most part, the distraction is working. Maybe one day we can find a distraction for you and you can see your buddies again. If I can face my fear, let’s work on you facing yours?” I ask and he smiles and nods.

“One day. I’m glad the distraction is working for you, though. I hope Christmas day isn’t too upsetting for you. I want to take away the bad memories and replace them with some happy new ones. Make the day of mourning, a day of remembrance.”

I smile and the look in Brax’s eyes at my half naked body doesn’t go unnoticed. “That sounds wonderful.”

I look over to see he’s now shirtless and only wearing his jeans while I stand in only my underwear and something in me clicks. Whether it was the words he’s just spoken or the fact that I haven’t been with him in so long I’m not sure, but right now my body flames with an insatiable desire to be with him. I step up to his body and pull his sling up and off over his head. He grins at me as I run my hand over his pec and down his side. Both of our breathing hitches as his hand comes up to caress my cheek.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that? Even these are stunning.” He runs his finger along my stretch marks and I wince and shake my head.

“No, they’re horrible.”

He shakes his head and leans in capturing my bottom lip in his teeth and nipping it softly. My heart rate spikes as my clit starts to throb.

“No, they remind me of the beautiful little angel in the other room. Without these marks, she wouldn’t be here, so they are there to show me the life you created. They’re beautiful Amber, and I wouldn’t change them,” he says and then leans down kissing one.

My chest tightens in appreciation and I swallow the thump that’s formed in my throat. “God damn.”

He chuckles and moves up looking at me raising an eyebrow. “God damn?”

“Yeah, it’s just…how the hell did I get so lucky? It’s like you stepped out of the freakin’ Notebook or something.”

He opens his eyes and purses his lips. “Um…what?”

I giggle and pull him to me. Our naked chests collide and the heat from our bodies sear my already scorching skin. “It’s a movie…no, never mind. Just know that I’m in awe of you.” I run my fingers through his hair and lick my lips. I need to kiss him.

“I’m in awe of you,” he says.

“I think it’s time we made love again, don’t you?” I ask.

He smiles brightly and walks us backward to his bed. “Why Miss Montgomery, I thought you’d never ask.”

“I’ll have to be on top, though. Don’t want you hurting your shoulder.”

He smiles and dips his head. “Anything you want, ma’am.”

 

***

 

A gentle rapping at the door stirs me from my sleep. I open my eyes and yawn as I hear another knock at the bedroom door. It begins to creek open as I look down to see my naked breasts, so I quickly pull the sheet up over my exposed body and turn to the door to see who’s coming in.

Sandra enters and the aroma of coffee invades my senses. My muscles scream as I move from last night’s session with Brax. It’s the first time we’ve had sex in months, and I’m paying for it today. I just hope the room doesn’t smell like sex as his mother walks in on us both naked in his bed.

“Morning darling, I thought you guys could do with some coffee.” She smirks as I hold the covers to me for dear life, probably giving away the fact that we’re naked under here. Brax mumbles and stirs rolling over and waking up just as I go to say something.

“Oh, hey Mum.”

“Morning, just bringing coffee. Breakfast will be on the table in twenty minutes. Merry Christmas Eve.” She smirks again and giggles slightly as she places the two mugs down on the side table.

“Thanks,” I mumble and she turns back and winks at me and then she walks out of the room closing the door behind her. With the click of the door, I let out a massive breath I didn’t even know I was holding, and grab the quilt and pull it over my head.

Brax laughs and pulls me to him pulling the quilt back and kisses my head. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Is there a lock on the door?” I ask only making him laugh harder.

Eventually we get up after drinking the best coffee I’ve possibly ever had, and we get dressed. I’d like to be fully clothed the next time I see Sandra!

We head out for breakfast and it is a full English style breakfast. She’s gone all out. There’s so much hot food here I have no idea how we’re going to eat it all. My stomach rumbles and it echoes through the room as we walk in making Oscar look up from his paper.

“Morning, you two.”

“Morning,” Brax and I both say in unison as we take a seat at the dining table.

Hunter and Mason both walk in and their eyes light up at the sight of all the food. The smell of the bacon alone is enough to set my heart into a flutter. Evie walks in carrying Charli, and Mason glances over and smiles at her so wide I’m sure his cheeks would be hurting. His eyes are full of wonder and his posture is soft, and I’m sure if I nudged him he’d fall over he’s so off with the fairies right now. I like it!

 

***

 

After spending the day horse riding in the field and watching Evie and Mason getting closer, we had an enormous dinner and now we’re sitting in the lounge room around the fireplace telling our favourite Christmas stories.

“My favourite Christmas was when my mum gave me my first guitar. It’s where my love of music started, and she was the one who inspired me to learn how to play. It got me through the rough times with Dad, and that guitar meant so much to me.” I rub Mase’s shoulder as he sighs. A vision of his guitar with the snapped neck from our first night on tour floods my memory, and I slump my body knowing how much that guitar meant to him.

“Well, I remember one Christmas in particular. Alex had been gone for three years in the Army and he came home on Christmas Eve to surprise us. After not seeing him for three long, excruciating years, to finally have him home was the best present ever,” Evie says.

“What about you, Amber darling? What’s your favourite memory?” Sandra asks and I tense up slightly already feeling uncomfortable. It’s Christmas Eve, and tomorrow is the anniversary of my mother’s death. Sure, it’s been six years tomorrow, but still it hurts like it was yesterday.

“I…ah…” I pause trying to think of a happy memory, not a sad one. I look over at Hunter who’s half smiling at me giving me the comfort I need to get through tonight. “Um…okay, here goes. Mum used to always bake us gingerbread men and we would decorate them together, me, Mum and Hunter. It was a tradition we had every year. And the last year Mum was alive, we took some gingerbread men into the hospital for her because obviously she couldn’t cook them. We sat by her bed and we ate them and talked about how we’d come by on New Year’s Eve and spend it with her seeing in the New Year. She was so peaceful. She ate all the gingerbread including mine too.”

I giggle at the memory even though my eyes are filling with hot tears.

“She said she couldn’t think of a better way to spend Christmas, and that it was the best day of the year. She was so happy. She became tired so we let her sleep, and she slept for so long that we weren’t sure if she’d wake before we needed to leave the hospital. I tried to wake her up to tell her we needed to leave as visiting hours were over, but I couldn’t wake her. Hunter tried and he couldn’t wake her either. We thought she was just sleeping.”

The tears fall from my eyes down my face and pool at my chin, the memory haunting me and I can’t seem to stop telling the story.

“We called for the nurses, they ran tests and said she’d slipped into a coma. I was a mess. Hunter was the only one keeping me together. She stopped breathing. So they put her on a ventilator and hooked her up to all these machines. The beeping noises and the sounds were driving me insane. It was Christmas for crying out loud, that wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Brax caresses my knee and I look down at his hand and wipe my cheeks.

“Her body just gave in, and at 11:23 p.m. my mother died. There was nothing they could do. She couldn’t fight anymore. We lost her, I lost her. I miss her so much.”

I start to blubber and I don’t want to look a fool in front of Brax’s family so I rush up and race off down the hall. My heart is pumping frantically as I cry hard. My throat choking up thinking of my mum in hospital and how sick she looked. How I’ve lost her, and I’ll never see her again. The thought cripples me, as I lean against the wall and cry into my hands.

Suddenly, I’m wrapped in a tight embrace and I fall into the arms. I think it must be Brax, but the cologne isn’t his. I glance up through wet lashes to see Hunter. His eyes are glassy and red and it unsettles me to see him upset too.

“I miss her too, little lamb.”

I sniff and cling to him for dear life. I hate that I fell apart in there, but it just all flooded back before I could stop it.

“I miss her so much. Why doesn’t it get easier?”

Hunter wipes the tears from my cheeks tenderly and sighs. “It’s six years since she died tomorrow, little lamb. It’s hard for both of us. She was such an amazing woman, she made our world better. Don’t be upset for being upset. It’s okay to mourn our mum,” he says and pulls me tighter to him for a hug. I embrace him back needing the comfort, but somehow he’s managed to stem my tears.

“Amber?” a deep soothing voice echoes down the hallway calming me even more.

I pull back from Hunter to see Brax approaching with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips forming a tight thin line. He looks worried.

“I’m sorry. I’m so embarrassed, I ruined Christmas Eve for your family.”

He reaches me and takes me in his arms pulling me to him. “You did no such thing! We understand that this is a hard time for you and Hunter, baby. We aren’t holding any judgment. We just want you guys to be okay. I want you to be okay.”

Swallowing hard while Hunter rubs my shoulder and then he smiles at Brax. “Take care of her,” Hunter says.

Brax nods and pulls me to his chest holding me tightly as humanly possible with one arm. I watch Hunter walk away down the hall leaving me with Brax. I’m still embarrassed, and I hate that I made a mess of myself in front of everyone.

“I really am sorry.”

“Stop that! There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

Nuzzling into him I need comfort right now while I think about going back to see his family, but I don’t believe I can.

“I don’t think I can face them all tonight. Can we go to bed and try to get through tomorrow without me making a complete idiot of myself again?”

His hand moves to my cheek and he caresses my face so tenderly it sends a wave of warmth through my soul.

“Amber, stop it! We can go to bed and if tomorrow you’re still not feeling up to it, you, me, and Charli, can spend the whole day in the bedroom if you want. Whatever makes you comfortable and happy. But don’t for one minute think that my family are going to think that you’re an idiot for missing your mother. If anything they love you more for it.”

I sniff and nod as he takes my hand and starts to guide me back to his bedroom. Tonight I need to cuddle him as much as possible and try not to think about the horror that waits for me tomorrow.

The day I will never forget.

The day I lost everything.

The worst day of the year.

Christmas Day.