When we got back to the hotel Aston immediately spotted us in the hall, so Annie ran inside our room to hide from him and I had to run interference. Annie is so messed up, and poor Aston looked absolutely heartbroken, the most devastated I’ve ever seen him in his life. I just hope I never go through heartache like that. Mum showed up and Aston left leaving Mum to pick up the broken pieces that is Annie in our hotel room. Tonight was meant to be a high of epic proportions. We’d started our first world tour as a backing band and to top it off we played at Wembley-fucking-Stadium for crying out loud. But the whole night is overshadowed by the demons of Annie’s past.

I can’t help but feel like everything is in some sort of twisted reality. One where Annie and Aston aren’t talking. But in an even weirder reality, where I’m not only attracted to some stranger that has me weak at the knees, but the thought of Chad being around more often doesn’t make me unhappy. And to top it off I’m on tour with my parents. What the hell kind of weird world is this? And it’s only day one of our tour. This is going to be one weird-arse tour if you ask me.

Mum decided to stay in the room with us for the night to support Annie, she generally stays with Dad, but tonight she wanted to be with Annie so she ordered room service for us and we stayed in trying to cheer Annie up. Mum stayed in Annie’s bed with her all night giving me a king bed all to myself. Which I loved and was glad for because I spent the whole night tossing and turning thinking about those mesmerising blue eyes and those tattooed bulging biceps, which are attached to that gorgeous hunk of a man that I’ll be spending the next six months of my life with.

I close my eyes and imagine his soft lips on mine, the feel of his nose piercing rubbing against me. I wonder what else he has pierced, as my dreams begin to fill the night with thoughts of passion fueled make-out sessions where I’m pinned to a wall and he’s trapping me against it holding me there with his body. I know I’m dreaming, this couldn’t possibly be real but the tension in my body is reaching critical and I need to cool off. I feel my breathing getting heavier as Danger runs his hand down my side and up under my skirt. I part my legs for him and he rubs his hand right where I need him the most. I gasp and crash my lips back to his as his finger dips inside of my panties. I moan, and suddenly I’m shaking violently. My eyes fling open as I gasp and catch my breath from the shock.

“Ella, wake up, it’s time to go,” Mum says shaking me again.

I open my eyes wide as I feel a bead of sweat drips down my forehead. I wipe it with the back of my hand, the throbbing between my legs apparent.

Holy shit!

“Ella, honey, c’mon,” Mum says turning back to look at me and raising an eyebrow. “Are you okay? You're flushed and sweating? Are you getting sick?” she asks brushing the back of her hand to my forehead feeling my temperature.

“No, I’m fine. Was just having a nightmare is all,” I lie. It wasn’t a nightmare at all. Hopefully, it was a premonition. If that’s what kissing and fooling around feels like in a dream, I can’t wait to feel what it’s like in reality.

“Okay, well, get ready. We have to go to the airport,” Mum tells me while pulling back my covers.

 

***

 

On the way to Belfast on the Slayed tour jet, I spent most of the time comforting Annie. She’s still reeling from her separation from Aston, and to make matters even worse she made it official on the jet by pulling him aside and telling him their relationship was over. Not one of us can understand her motives, but she needs to work through this on her own, and I guess, we just have to be here for her. Hopefully, she will come out of it with a clear head at some stage. Fingers crossed before it is too late.

We arrived in Belfast and went to the Odyssey Arena to carry out our sound check. I haven’t seen Danger and actually I haven’t seen much of anyone other than Annie for the past few hours. I’ve been trying to keep her company and attempting to keep her chin up, as they say, but her somber mood is starting to wear me down and nothing I say helps anyway. I finally see Chad, he’s walking across to me as I strap on my guitar. He’s twirling his drumsticks in his fingers.

“You’re so good at that,” I say.

“Thanks. Yeah, I know, but I’ve been doing it since I was born basically, so I guess I have to be good at something, right?” He throws a wink at me which in turn causes butterflies to flutter around in my stomach. I push them aside as just nerves and make my way with Chad onto the stage to start our sound check for the pre-concert check. Annie walks up on stage and takes my usual spot, and I look at her and shake my head slightly as I walk over the other side and stand by Aston. This feels all kinds of wrong, but it is what it is. I look at Aston and he’s looking at Annie aimlessly while she’s looking down with her hair flowing over her face. She looks utterly depressed. Gosh, this is such a mess.

“Right guys, commence sound check,” Rob our agent and also Dad’s band agent, calls out and Annie starts playing her guitar before the cue. I look at Rob and he shrugs letting her go and when she stops he looks at me and then I start. The rest of the band play their small parts, and then we all start to play together checking that the volumes are all correct, so nothing is louder than anything else.

Suddenly my skin begins to prickle and I quickly flick my head to the side of the stage and I see Danger looking right at me. He’s half smiling with his arms folded across his chest showing his big bulging biceps against his torso. My heart rate spikes and I suddenly remember that I’m in the middle of a sound check. I turn back and note I’m completely lost in the middle of the song. Aston and Caleb are looking at me furrowing their eyebrows as I shake my head and try to catch up, but instead of catching up I start to play the entirely wrong song. My heart races and I begin to panic as Annie finally hears what’s going on and she looks across at me and stops playing which causes a domino effect. Caleb stops singing then Aston stops playing his bass guitar and then finally Chad stops the drum beat all while I’m fumbling on my guitar trying to find the right chords.

“What the fuck, Ella?” Annie yells, walking up to me.

I stop playing and look back down at Danger to see him smirking and tilting his head as if to say ‘deal with your band.’

“I’m sorry, I got lost.”

Annie throws her hands in the air and huffs. “You got lost? It’s a fucking sound check Ella, it’s not that difficult. What if this was an actual show, huh? You could’ve made us all look like fucking amateurs, you know that? Maybe you need your little music stand back in front of you again. Do you?” Annie berates and I avert my eyes at her harshness.

“Annie, stop being a bitch. I’m sure Ella didn’t do it on purpose. Did you, Ella?” Caleb asks and Annie huffs and glares at him.

“Shut up, Caleb. You know as well as I do that if that happened during the concert we’d be a laughing stock right now,” Annie says.

“Annie, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking and I got distracted.”

“Well, don’t get fucking distracted tonight or you’re out of the band,” she says walking off the stage and throwing her guitar at a roadie.

I swallow hard and take a deep breath. “She doesn’t mean it you know,” Aston says and Caleb nods.

“Yeah, she knows you can’t leave the band, Ella. For a start, we all have to agree to that. Don’t take on what she says. She’s just having one of her tantrums,” Caleb says.

“Yeah, she’s only lashing out because of me. She’s hurting and taking it out on you. Don’t take it personally. That was all because of me Ella, not you,” Aston says.

I nod because I know he’s right. She’s in pain, not that that excuses her behaviour, but it is why she’s acting out.

“I know, I’m sorry I messed up guys, I don’t know what happened.” I casually glance back to look at Danger and he’s gone. I relax slightly hoping he didn’t see the mess I just created all because I was staring at him.

“It’s all good, guacamole, it was only the sound check. Don’t let it affect your performance tonight, okay? Don’t let it worry you. Just play like you always do and don’t let it fester. You’re an excellent guitarist Ella, don’t let Annie’s temper tantrums knock you down,” Chad says while wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

I laugh and shake my head. “Guacamole?” I ask and he smirks.

“Another condiment,” he says and I roll my eyes and giggle.

“You’re really going to continue with that? And since when is guacamole a condiment?” I ask and he smiles and nods.

“Hell yeah! Well, in my world it is, hot sauce,” he says.

Caleb and Aston look at us raising an eyebrow each.

“Don’t ask,” I say and they both nod their heads and chuckle.

“Right, we okay, Rob?” Caleb asks.

Rob waves his hand as he talks on his mobile phone in affirmation. We all chuckle and walk off the stage.

“Thanks for backing me up guys.”

“Hey, we’re a team. We’re here for each other, even when one of the team is being a right cow to the other, okay?” Aston says.

“I hope she sees some sense soon Ast. She’s so lost right now,” I say.

“Okay, have a break and then we’ll meet back in the green room in a bit,” Caleb says, and it’s as if Chad farted or something because everyone splits off and departs the area really quickly leaving me standing on the edge of the stage by myself. I take off my guitar and place it on the stand.

“That was an interesting mash-up you were working on up there. Can’t say I think it will sell really well though,” Danger says from behind me.

I turn around and he’s right in my personal space, I’m a little shocked by his close proximity. Considering there was no one there when I turned around a moment ago, he must walk quickly, or he was hiding in the shadows. Which is kinda creepy, if you ask me.

“I didn’t mean to stuff up like that,” I say and look down at the floor.

“Oh really? ‘Cause I thought you were trying to make up some new song, and it was just failing miserably.”

I don’t find him funny at all.

“Well, if I didn’t have some arsehole off stage trying to distract me, then maybe I could’ve played like a normal person,” I reply getting defensive and folding my arms across my chest for comfort.

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry. I was only teasing.” He leans in bumping his shoulder into mine playfully. But the touch of his skin against mine sends a shock wave right through my arm and straight into my heart kick starting it into gear, which makes it pump ten thousand miles a minute. I take a deep breath at the feeling and notice he does too. He must’ve felt the jolt as well. There’s definitely something going on between Danger and me. This isn’t imaginary.

That knot in my gut is here again, but flittering around in there is also a swarm of happy butterflies. I have no idea what to make of these feelings, I don’t know how to read them, and I don’t know what they mean. But I do know that flittering butterflies means that I’m feeling giddy and giddy is happy. Right now, as I smile at Danger and he’s smiling right back at me, well a pretty remarkable sensation is running right through me. We look at each other, saying nothing. So he grabs hold of my hand and pulls me closer. My breath catches as my body presses against his, he pulls my hand up and presses it against his chest and I can feel his heart racing against his skin.

“See what you do to me?” he says. I bite my bottom lip while feeling the thud against my palm knowing my heart is in time with his, both pumping so fast I can hardly think. Something catches Danger’s eye and he drops my hand and takes a step back breaking our connection. I swallow hard as he turns and we watch Dad walking toward us. I nod slightly knowing that Dad is a scary guy and I understand Danger’s hesitation in not wanting Dad to see us being intimate in any way. Especially, when I have no idea what we’re even doing yet. Dad comes over and Danger steps back completely. There’s a massive distance between him and me now and I’m a little taken aback.

It’s not like I have leprosy or anything?

“Danger, are you guys ready for the show tonight?” Dad asks and Danger practically turns his back to me and starts chatting with Dad, which leaves me right out of their animated conversation.

I stand here getting more and more worked up over the fact that he just turned his back on me like I’m a no one just so he could talk to my dad. Well, if that’s how you want to play this little game Danger, then fine! I huff and fold my arms over my chest and push past Danger knocking him forward into Dad and storm off toward the green room. About half way down the hall I turn back to look over my shoulder and notice Danger glancing sideways watching me as I walk away. I smirk and it put a spring in my step as I continue to move away from them.

Once inside the green room, I bounce around happily knowing that Danger was still wanting me to be with him but only stopped because of Dad. The way he was watching me walk away proved it to me.

“You look cheery,” Mum says.

“I feel good. Well, I’m sad for Annie, but this tour is going to be great. The backup band are cool, aren’t they?” I say trying to hide my smile as my stomach flips over a few times thinking of Danger.

Mum smirks and walks over to me. “Ella, what’s that giddy smile all about?” She can always see right through me.

“What?” I ask trying to sound innocent.

“Ella, sweetheart, I’ve known you for seventeen years. I can tell when, something or someone has you in a spin.”

“Well, it’s nothing really, just a flutter in my tummy. I’ll get over it.”

“It’s okay, I think I know who and I’m really happy for you. He’s such a great guy and he’s been around you all your life—”

I furrow my brows and frown. “What? Wait! Who are you talking about?” I ask because she obviously doesn’t mean Danger.

“Who are you talking about?” she replies raising her eyebrow in confusion.

“Danger from Recoil, isn’t he amazing?” I gush as that flutter in my stomach comes back with a vengeance.

Mum scrunches her face tight and frowns. “Umm, not who I was expecting, and definitely not someone your father would be happy about. He’s not exactly a one woman kind of guy, Ella. Danger gave himself a nickname like that for a reason, you know?” Mum walks across and places her hand on my shoulder. “Honey, I think you’d be better off with someone…calmer, someone a little more…familiar,” Mum says.

“What are you talking about, Mum? I like Danger, he’s mysterious and it’s not like I’m going to go off and have his babies or anything. I mean, I’ve hardly said two words toward him. It’s just, I think, he’s really mysterious and super sexy, and I’d like to break down the barriers if he lets me.”

“Well, just remember honey, that breaking down barriers is hard work and sometimes the payoff isn’t always great at the end. Just be careful, you’ve always been able to sense when things seem off. So trust your instincts, Ella, trust your judgement and you’ll be fine,” Mum advises. I nod and lean into her for a hug. She embraces me tightly and I smile feeling good even after the events of today, what with Annie’s meltdown and Danger’s dissing. But I know Danger didn’t do it out of disrespect, I know it’s only because he’s afraid of my father. And who wouldn’t be, Dad has the power to end Danger’s career if he wanted. Not that Dad would ever be that callous. But I do think that’s what Danger is concerned about.

“C’mon let’s get something to drink, hey?” Mum says.

Chad walks in and smiles brightly at me and my tummy flutters again. I figure it’s because I was just talking to Mum about Danger, and I really just want to go and see him.

“I’ll be back in a bit,” I say to Mum and she nods.

I walk past her and past Chad. He smiles at me again and goes to say something, but I’m on a mission so I don’t stop. I’m off to find Danger. Surely he would’ve finished talking to Dad by now. I really want to try and score that first kiss if possible, but maybe he’ll be really on edge after Dad nearly caught us together tonight. Not that we were doing anything wrong. I mean, I only had my hand on his chest, but I guess we were close and it would have looked intimate. And knowing Dad, Danger would have definitely gotten a black eye. But right now, I need to find him and make sure we’re okay.