Aston and I spent the night cuddling in bed. Seeing as we missed dinner, we ordered room service and ate in our hotel room. It was a day I really didn’t want to relive again or remember for that matter. Finding out all that stuff about Loretta was hard. When she said she loved me, it shook me to my core and then to have Amber show up… pregnant, well that tipped me over the edge. I guess I don’t handle stress too well. But all I know is that Aston was there to help me through it all, and after our shower he spent the night doting on me hand and foot. He was the perfect boyfriend and made sure to tell me how much he adores me. Which I liked, quite a lot.

It’s been three days since that God awful day and the results are in for the maternity DNA test. We’re all heading to the lawyer’s office to hear them together. Aston has been here for me every day and he hasn’t left my side. He knows what a huge deal this is for me. Knowing that if Loretta is my birth mother, well, that’s a big thing. If she actually is then, I have to make a decision of whether or not I want her in my life, and I think that is only something I can decide with my family.

We pull up at the lawyer’s office and we all get out of the car. I’m so nervous that I’m sweating and Aston notices my apprehension and wraps his arm around my shoulders pulling me to him and kissing my head.

“It’ll be okay, Lennox, no matter the outcome,” he whispers in my ear and I nod knowing he’s right. If she is my mother that could be a good thing. And if she isn’t, well, then it doesn’t matter because I didn’t have a birth mother before this, so what difference does it make. It changes nothing. Well, I’d like to think I would think like that, but I know whatever the result it will change my life forever.

Mum stands next to me as we all walk inside. Loretta is sitting in the waiting room, she stands up and smiles brightly walking toward me.

“Afternoon Annie, how are you feeling?” she asks stopping in front of me.

“Nervous,” I answer truthfully.

“Well, don’t be. I know this is scary, but by the end of this we will know for sure. Even though I am positive, you’re mine.”

I nod as Mum looks anywhere but at Loretta, who seems to have dressed up for today. She’s wearing a blue skirt and white blouse with a matching blue jacket. She almost looks normal.

Almost!

We all walk over and take a seat by the wall waiting to be called in to see Jeremy Kline our Lawyer. I sit next to Mum and Aston, and Dad sits next to Loretta. Ella wanders over to the table and picks up a magazine. She grins then turns it around to show me. It’s a picture of me and Aston posing out the front of the restaurant from the other night with the heading, ‘Are the Young Lovers of Staked still Rock Solid?’ Then it has a picture of me running out of the restaurant in tears. I roll my eyes and Ella chuckles bringing it over to read.

I tend to not read magazine articles about us. It’s always a spin on the truth anyway, or just plain fabrications. Plus, I never like the pictures of me in them. Ella sits down next to Aston and she leans into him showing him the pics and he shakes his head.

“Why do you read that trash, Ella?” he asks and she giggles.

“‘Cause then I can tease Annie about the bullshit they come up with,” she replies and I stick my tongue out at her.

Little bitch!

I giggle to myself and it was just the light-hearted distraction I needed to get my mind off what we’re really here for.

“Slade,” the receptionist calls out and we all look up at her.

Aston takes my hand and suddenly the nerves and nausea are back with a vengeance. I stand along with everyone else and we make our way into the large office space. Jeremy is sitting at his desk reading some folder of notes and looks up at us as we enter his office.

“Good afternoon everyone,” he says kindly. “Please, take a seat.”

There're four seats at the front and a lounge suite behind them against the wall. Loretta moves forward and sits on one of the seats and I look at the three empty spaces and then at my family.

“It’s okay Ella and I will sit on the lounge suite,” Aston says. I nod as he and Ella walk over and sit down. Dad sits next to Loretta and then I sit down next to him. Mum sits on the other side of me.

“What an exciting day for you all,” Jeremy says and I half-smile and Mum huffs as she takes my hand in hers.

“Shall we get straight to it?” he asks and I tense up, holding Mum’s hand tightly. Dad takes my other hand and suddenly I feel like even if Loretta isn’t my birth mother that I have all the family I need right here in this room. It doesn’t stop the bile from rising up in my throat though.

“Loretta, the test came back 99.97% positive. You are Annie’s biological mother,” he says and I burst into tears along with Mum and Loretta.

“I knew it!” Loretta states and then starts laughing. I find it weird and inappropriate, but I disregard it as I look at Mum who has the most horrified look on her face.

“What does this mean legally?” Loretta asks and I look over to Jeremy wondering that myself.

“Technically it doesn’t mean anything. Annie is legally an adult, so she can choose to do whatever she wants with this information. You have no legal rights over her. I’m sure you just want to get to know her, not to have legal rights over her,” he says with a chuckle and Loretta stops laughing and frowns. I find that odd, but I disregard it.

Loretta is my mother!

“Thank you, Jeremy, you’ve been of great assistance to us,” Dad says and stands up. I follow suit, and Mum stands up still gripping my hand tightly. Everyone else stands up and we walk toward the door. I look at Aston and he smiles at me and winks. We all move out to the foyer and Jeremy shakes Dad’s hand.

“Thanks again, Jeremy,” Dad says and we all find our way to the car park. We stop and I turn to look at Loretta. I feel happy, but I also feel terrified. And everyone is silent as we all stand looking at each other.

“Well, this is good news, right?” Dad says and Mum scoffs and I roll my eyes at her as Loretta smiles at me.

“It’s great news. I knew you were my baby, Annie,” she says and steps forward opening her arms for a hug. I hesitate because Mum is still gripping my hand tightly, but I feel like maybe I should give this little victory to Loretta. Even though everything in me doesn’t want to, I take that step forward and let her wrap her arms around me. I don’t hug her back. My hand is still holding onto Mum’s and Loretta cries softly as she holds me for the first time. I’m surprised by how numb I feel. I thought I would be ecstatic or something, but I only feel detached. It’s like I’ve waited all my life for this moment and all I want to do is run into the arms of my mother… my real mother. The one who’s holding my hand so tightly it feels like she’s cutting off the circulation. I gently pat Loretta on her back attempting to engage in the hug somehow. It’s hard to do it one handed, but at least I’m making a small effort. She pulls back from me wiping her smudged mascara across her face and holding me at arm’s length by my shoulders.

“I’m so proud of you, my daughter,” she says and I smile at her not knowing what else to do.

“Thanks Loretta.”

“Call me, Mum, if you want to.”

I stiffen as Mum almost chokes on thin air.

“I think she can stick to Loretta for now,” Mum says through gritted teeth. And for once I’m glad for Mum’s reaction because if there is one thing Loretta is not, it’s my mum. She may be my birth mother, but that does not give her the privilege of being my mum. I only have one mum and that’s how it’s going to stay.

“Okay, whatever you’re comfortable with Annie.” She looks like she’s on top of the world.

“How about you come back to our place for some afternoon tea and we can talk a bit more there?” Dad asks and I move back next to Mum and her tight grip eases slightly.

“Sounds delightful. I really would like to get to know you all better,” she says and I nod.

“Okay, we’ll see you back at the manor then,” Dad says and turns toward the car.

I turn to walk off when she calls out to me.

“Annie!” she says and I look back over my shoulder. “Thank you for giving me a chance to get to know you.”

I nod and smile and then turn back and walk toward the car. Aston catches up to me as I reach the back door and he pulls me into a tight hug.

“I’m so proud of you, Lennox, you actually hugged her. I know you didn’t want to. I saw you hesitate, but you did the right thing.”

“Thanks, I feel weird. I feel like I should be feeling something more than what I am. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this, and now that it’s here I just feel numb. What the hell is that about?”

“Lennox, there’s no right or wrong way to feel about this. You feel whatever way you want to feel. Don’t beat yourself up because you’re not ecstatic over the results. Loretta is an… interesting woman, and I think you just need to get to know her better before you allow yourself to be excited over this.”

I nod. He’s making sense. I guess I don’t know her, and what I do know is not that appealing, so I have to wait to see if I can find something I do like about her.

We all get into the car and take the drive back to the manor. Ella is quiet again and actually she looks really sad. I can’t help but think she’s really upset, and I hate that I’m probably the cause of her distress.

We arrive at home and Loretta’s car pulls in behind ours. We all get out of the car and walk up toward the door and Loretta soon follows behind.

“Welcome back to our home, Loretta,” Dad says as we make our way inside. She follows taking in everything around her like she’s never seen anything so pretty. I must admit our house is gorgeous and I don’t want to sound mean, but I would imagine she has never seen anything like our manor before. We all walk through to the kitchen and take a seat at the dining table.

“I’ll get some tea and something for us to eat,” Mum says and walks over to the kettle as I sit down while Dad and Aston sit either side of me and Loretta sits opposite.

“So Loretta tell me more about where you live now,” Dad asks and Loretta starts talking, but I’m not listening. I’m too busy watching Mum talk to Ella, and then watching as Ella walks out of the kitchen away from us and then doesn’t come back. I look over at Mum and furrow my brow. She looks back at me and half-smiles and that was all I needed to know that Ella isn’t coping with this.

“Excuse me,” I say interrupting their conversation and standing abruptly.

“Everything okay?” Aston asks and I look down at him and nod.

“Yeah, I just want to go and talk to Ella for a sec. I’ll be right back.” I glance back at Mum and she nods knowing I’m going to check on my sister. Walking up the stairs and to Ella’s door, I knock lightly but she doesn’t answer. I wait for a moment and then open her door slightly and look in. She’s laying on her bed with her earphones in her ears. I open the door wider and she turns to look at me and when she does I notice she’s on the verge of tears.

“Can I come in?” I ask and she pulls the earphones from her ears and sits up on the bed waving for me to come in. I move across and sit down then wrap my arm around her shoulders pulling her in tight. “I’m so sorry,” I say and Ella looks at me raising an eyebrow.

“What for?”

“I know this must be hard for you, and I promise I never asked her to show up like this. And to be honest I’m not sure if I’m happy or terrified right about now,” I say and she brings her hands to her face and starts to cry.

My chest tightens and I pull her closer to me. “I’ll help you find your mum and dad if you want me to? We have so much money and I know Mum and Dad will help if that’s what you want to do?” I ask and she only cries harder. “Oh Ella, please don’t cry,” I say nuzzling into her hair trying to comfort her as best I can.

“I’m not crying for me Annie, I’m crying for you,” she says and I’m immediately confused.

I furrow my brows and sit up straighter. “What? Why?”

“Have you seen her? She’s terrible, and I don’t ever want to find my parents if they are like her.”

I tense up knowing exactly what she means. Something about Loretta is off, but I can’t put my finger on it.

I spend some time with Ella and we sit and talk about Loretta. Ella tells me she is worried she’s only around to get some sort of payoff. Loretta can only gain from knowing us, and deep down I think Ella is right.

 

***

 

I stayed in the room with Ella for a while, but then I thought I better go back downstairs and make sure that Mum doesn’t have Loretta in a chokehold. We sit and have afternoon tea and she seems nice, but I’m not sure if it’s genuine. She asked if we could have a moment alone and I didn’t want that. When Dad asked me if that was okay, I didn’t say anything, so he told her it wasn’t the right time. I think that because she got a positive on the test result she automatically assumed we were going to be best buddies and that is not how this is going to work. She left after a few hours and we arranged to meet up again tomorrow. We said she could come here, but she wanted to go back to the botanical park. I’m not really sure why, but we agreed. Maybe being in this big manor intimidates her or something?

 

***

 

We’re driving to the park to meet Loretta and I feel nervous for some reason. I can’t understand why Loretta wants to meet us at the park instead of at home, or why we couldn’t have gone to her house if that’s what she wanted.

“How are you feeling?” Aston asks and I shrug.

“Not sure. You think it would have settled in by now, but I still feel numb,” I say as Dad pulls up the four wheel drive next to Loretta’s car. I notice there is a couple of other cars here this time. Well, van’s really, but I don’t take much notice as this is a public place so anyone can come here.

We get out of the car and walk as a united family down toward the oak tree and the picnic table where we met last time. She’s sitting there waiting and she waves as we all walk across to her.

“Annie honey, how are you?” she asks as she steps forward hugging me. I tense up and gently hug her back, but it still feels like I’m hugging a stranger and I don’t really like it.

“I’m good thanks, how are you?” I ask as I walk around to sit down at the table.

“I’m great, you’re my daughter and I couldn’t be prouder,” she says louder than her normal voice.

I hear movement in the bushes behind me and then three men with cameras, and one with a video camera come surging forward. I sit shocked as they come right up to our table.

“Ms. Banks, is it true that you are Annie Slade’s real mother?” the one with the video camera asks and I tense up.

I don’t want the world knowing this!

“Hey, turn that thing off! We don’t give permission for you to record this,” Mum says and the camera guys just laugh.

“Sweetheart, this is a public place. We have every right to be here,” the video guy says and Dad walks over to me pulling me up from the seat and he looks furious. He glares at Loretta.

“Did you do this?” he yells at her and she shakes her head.

“No, of course not,” she replies and Aston pulls me to him hiding my face from the cameras.

“Can we get a family shot?” one of the camera guys asks and my eyes start to well with tears. Everyone is going to know Loretta is my mother and today she looks particularly trashy with a God awful red halter neck dress on.

I don’t want this getting out!

“No, you cannot. Fuck off and stop taking pictures. Do you have no heart?” Dad asks walking up to the camera guys trying to get them to stop.

“No, sorry mate, just doing our job. And this, well this, is a big story,” he replies and Dad shakes his head as they start to move toward me and take photographs of Aston comforting me.

“Shit c’mon Annie,” Aston says and starts walking me briskly toward Dad’s car.

“You better get your facts straight or we’ll sue you, you fuckers,” Dad calls out as he rushes with the rest of us to get away from them. I look back to see if Loretta is following us, but she’s staying behind and taking to the man with the video camera.

Finally, I feel something.

Anger.

Hurt.

Resentment.

All of that, but mostly I feel used.

I can’t believe she’s talking to those vultures. Maybe she isn’t in this just to make a connection with me after all, maybe she’s in this just for the fame that comes with being the mother of Annie Slade.

And that’s a thought I can’t stand!

We get to the car as one of the photographers continues to chase us and take photos of me and Aston.

“Annie, sweetheart, get in the car,” Mum says and opens the door for me. I rush in followed by Aston then Ella and she slams the door shut. I lean into Aston and he covers my face as the cameraman takes more photographs through the window. My eyes well with tears and I can’t help it as the tears flow down my face.

“Oh Lennox, don’t cry. Baby, she isn’t worth your tears,” Aston says rubbing my arm.

Mum and Dad yell at the photographer, but I can’t understand what they’re saying.

“Jesus Christ, this is crazy,” Ella whispers under her breath as my heart beats faster and I start to breathe quickly. I feel hot, and a cold sweat encases my body. I start to shake and I can’t seem to catch my breath. My head is buzzing and I can hear Aston talking to me, but I can’t understand a word he’s saying. I look up at him and everything is spinning as the thumping in my ears from my heart is so loud it’s deafening. Aston bangs on the window and Dad and Mum look in to see me panicking.

Is that what’s happening? I’m having a panic attack!

Mum and Dad quickly get in the car slamming their doors and Mum looks back at me as I try to get my breathing under control.

“Annie, look at me,” Mum says and I can hardly see her through the tears as Dad puts the car into reverse and drives out of this God-awful place.

“Annie, take a deep breath sweetheart. It’s okay they can’t hurt you, you’re safe,” Mum says leaning back and rubbing my face as Aston gently caresses my back.

I start to feel less hot and my heart rate is slowing down as I look into Mum’s eyes and she takes long breaths in and out. I mimic her and take a long breath and then breathe out slowly. It’s helping.

“Good girl, Annie, just breathe,” Mum says as I feel the car moving forward toward home, my safe place. To where me and my family live. My family. Me, Mum, Dad, Ella and Aston, no one else fits into my family, not even my terrible birth mother. I can’t believe she did this to me. I can’t be sure she set it up for the cameras to be there, but I can’t be sure she didn’t either. I don’t know how I’m supposed to cope with that knowledge, or deal with the shitstorm that’s inevitably about to hit.